# ALOE [STRESSFUL IMAGE-HEAVY]



## kyeugh (May 13, 2014)

Spoiler: Prologue



A little while ago, having just got into the nitty-gritty of Homestuck, I decided to create what could only be described as a blatant ripoff; however, I quickly lost inspiration and it sort of went sour.  After finding out how MSPA worked in the beginning, I decided that sounded really fun, and that I would try it.  So, I've decided to create my own reader-driven adventure using the characters I used in the original ripoff.

For those of you who have no idea how this works, basically I give a little picture and a blurb, and the readers enter a command.  Then I make another little picture and blurb based on that command, and so on.  Unlike the original MSPA, I will _not_ be doing the first command that comes up; rather, I'll be picking the one I like the best, so try not to be overly ridiculous.  In the beginning, the selecting might be a bit rocky and I might go off on my own commands just to get it started, so readers can get an idea of what's going on; I may also suggest commands for others to use, to progress the plot.  I plan to keep it as reader-driven as I can, however.

Let's see how this goes.


*ALOE*




Your name is William Kirby, and YESTERDAY was YOUR FIFTEENTH BIRTHDAY.  You are particularly happy TODAY, because you can try out all the
 COOL NEW LOOT you scored YESTERDAY.  You are a bit of an ANGLOPHILE, despite your American CITIZENSHIP.  You adore The Beatles, Queen, The
 Who, Led Zeppelin, and other bands that no-one in your generation has ever heard of.  You also enjoy THE FANTASTIC WORLD OF COMEDY, particularly
 THE SECTOR OF THE FANTASTIC WORLD OF COMEDY BELONGING TO JIM CARREY.  You are a TRUE JIM CARREY FAN.  You have devoted days and days to researching
 his every quirk, so your RENOWNED FANFICTION can be as accurate as possible.  What will you do?​


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## I liek Squirtles (May 13, 2014)

>Get arms from under bed.


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## kyeugh (May 15, 2014)

*$> GET ARMS FROM UNDER BED.*

*GET ARMS FROM UNDER BED*




...Arms from under the bed?  You don't have any ARMS under your BED!  You have a SILLY, NOODLEY PAIR right in front of your very eyes.  What a SILLY THOUGHT!  Too SILLY, you think.  So silly that it sounds like something COMEDY LEGEND JIM CARREY might have UTTERED.  You're sure to jot down the NOTE in your REGISTRY.  You're also sure to make a REMINDER regarding your MYSTERIOUSLY VANISHING PRESENT.  It seems to have disappeared.

ALOE takes the NOTE from your INPUT FIELD, located in your ALOE GLASSES, and stores it away in your MEMORANDUM INDEX for LATER USE.  You really should get around to CLEANING THE OLD THING OUT; it's accumulated a few thousand NOTES over the PAST FIFTEEN YEARS.​


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## I liek Squirtles (May 15, 2014)

>Inspect ALOE glasses and remind yourself of their basic functions. /exposition


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## kyeugh (May 15, 2014)

*$> Hardcore Exposition.
*





Before you can get to THINKING, your MYSTERIOUSLY VANISHING PRESENT mysteriously unvanishes.  You are too lazy to remove the NOTE you made about it; you'll do it later.

Now to your ALOE GLASSES.  It sort of HURTS YOUR HEAD to think about ALOE, but you don't do it very often, so you figure you'll GIVE IT A STAB.

ALOE is a LARGE, INCREDIBLY COMPLEX, REALITY-ALTERING COMPUTER that presides over your world.  It has existed for MANY CENTURIES, and has been added onto by COUNTLESS DEDICATED VERATEERS.  As a result, it's accumulated an INCREDIBLY LARGE AND COMPLICATED DATABASE, and is THE MOST INTRICATE PROGRAM KNOWN TO EXIST.

It works by relating certain ENTITIES by analysing the RELATIONSHIPS formed between them, called NODES.  It works like a GIANT CATALOGUE OF THE WORLD'S HISTORY, and makes life easier for its world's INHABITANTS by creating a SIMPLE DATA STRUCTURE BY WHICH THEY CAN STORE, CREATE, AND EXCHANGE ENTITIES.  This DATA STRUCTURE is called THE VERANET.  By using different PARAGONS, CLIENTS (the ALOE term for a SENTIENT BEING) can customise their DATA WITHDRAWALS AND DEPOSITS.

ALOE is also particularly useful in that it can be used to TRANSACT MONEY AND ENTITIES; most NON-OBSOLETE SHOPS function based on ALOE, so they can be accessed ANYWHERE.  TRANSACTIONS THROUGH ALOE are instant and SEND ITEMS FROM ARRAY TO ARRAY (an ARRAY being the list of belongings of a PARTICULAR CLIENT).

ALOE can also create ENTITIES if fed specific MODICUM (a type of ALOE-SPECIFIC CURRENCY that can be acquired via the TRANSMUTATION of TYPICAL CURRENCY); however, a FULL FORMULA LIST of REQUIRED MODICA FOR SPECIFIC ITEMS is yet to surface.  For the most part, CLIENTS must experiment with MODICA.  INANIMATE ENTITIES can also be combined, of course with the SPECIFIED AMOUNT OF MODICA, to create a SINGLE, COMBINED CONCOCTION.

That's all you care to think about ALOE at the moment.  There's SO MUCH MORE to it, but thinking anymore is going to KILL YOU.
​


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## I liek Squirtles (May 15, 2014)

Why the $ in front of the >? I forgot if and why Homestuck used it. :I

>Examine English flag poster/window. If last one, admire futuristic dystopia.


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## Vipera Magnifica (May 15, 2014)

> Take the red pill


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## Superbird (May 16, 2014)

>Use laptop to open present


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## hopeandjoy (May 16, 2014)

>Read note by present


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## kyeugh (May 16, 2014)

*Use LAPOTP to open GIFT.*



Spoiler: Author's Notes






I liek Squirtles said:


> Why the $ in front of the >? I forgot if and why Homestuck used it. :I


Homestuck does not have this.  I do this because it's what my terminal looks like.  Also it's cool.




Superbird said:


> *$> Use laptop to open present.​*







After your LONG, BRAIN-FUCKING ANALYSIS OF YOUR WORLD'S MECHANICS, you decide to read the LOVELY, HAND-WRITTEN LETTER ATTACHED TO YOUR GIFT.  Then it occurs to you how much it would SUCK TO READ ANYTHING at the moment, since your PUZZLE BRICK is still RADIATING PAIN WAVES.  At any rate, you are A MAN OF GREAT WISDOM, and any TRUE MAN OF GREAT WISDOM knows to save the MUSHY, SENTIMENTAL CRAP for after you loot out the THE GOOD STUFF.  So for now, you're going to dig in like a CONDYLURA CRISTATA.  FIRST THINGS FIRST, you have to open your ALOE CLIENT and click your GIFT.  Then, select OPEN.​




And ALOE opens your GIFT for you!  That was PRETTY COOL; you wonder where the WRAPPING PAPER went.​Oh, and the MUSHY, SENTIMENTAL NOTE has vanished as well.  What a shame.​


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## Vipera Magnifica (May 16, 2014)

>Examine gift


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## kyeugh (May 16, 2014)

Vanilla Mongoose said:


> *$>Examine gift*​








You plug it in and slip in a HELP! VINYL.  This thing literally sounds like SHIT.  The GESTURE was nice, though.  You guess.​


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## I liek Squirtles (May 16, 2014)

$>Contact friends using laptop.


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## kyeugh (May 16, 2014)

I liek Squirtles said:


> *$>Contact friends using laptop.*​








It appears ONE OF THEM has BEAT YOU TO IT.  You REGISTER your SHITTY RECORD PLAYER in your WIT PARAGON.  To WITHDRAW an ENTITY from your WIT PARAGON, you must create a PUN based on the ENTITY IN QUESTION.  It keeps you sharp, and makes your RENOWNED FANFICTION much better besides.







Spoiler: GRAPEVINE LOG



REM:Hello, guttersnipe.
WIL:hey remington 
REM:It has come to my attention that your age increased by a full year yesterday. 
WIL:yeah thats right 
WIL:im not sure why you always say things like that 
WIL:i mean we all know youre smart 
WIL:you can cut it out now you know 
REM:Nonsense.  I do not speak intelligibly to convince you that I'm smart.  I do it because I am smart. 
WIL:yeah whatever 
WIL:anyway yeah im fifteen now 
REM:I wish you a belated happy birthday, then. 
WIL:thanks i guess haha 
REM:... 
WIL:... 
REM:That is all I wished to say.  Good day, peasant. 
WIL:later haha 
REM has quit (Quit: Good day, peasants.)​


That Remington.  You are glad you can have such deeply enlightening conversations with your wonderful friends.​


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## I liek Squirtles (May 16, 2014)

$> Be Remington.


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## Vipera Magnifica (May 16, 2014)

$> Look around room


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## kyeugh (May 16, 2014)

I liek Squirtles said:


> *$> Be Remington.*​








While William gazes around THE ROOM THAT HE HAS SEEN A BILLION TIMES BEFORE, you become Remington.  Consequently, you also become FILTHY FUCKING RICH.  You have never had to WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE, despite being SIXTEEN YEARS OLD, and still live in THE LARGEST HOUSE IN NORTH AMERICA.  Your ancestors created ALOE, and left their descendants to THEIR WEALTH, basically damning the NEXT HUNDRED GENERATIONS to be LAZY, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING ASSHOLES WHO SPEND THEIR TIME BASKING IN MONEY.

You are greatly interested in MONEY and ALOE in general, and would like to be a VERATEER at SOME POINT IN THE FORSEEABLE FUTURE.

You speak in a dignified manner, and tend to sound quite well-read.

What will you do?​


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## Vipera Magnifica (May 16, 2014)

$> Make it rain


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## kyeugh (May 19, 2014)

Vanilla Mongoose said:


> *$> Make it rain*​








HAHAHAHAHA, oh God, you love being rich.​


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## hopeandjoy (May 19, 2014)

>Question why there's a one dollar bill in your window if you're so damn rich.


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## kyeugh (May 20, 2014)

hopeandjoy said:


> *$>Question why there's a one dollar bill in your window if you're so damn rich.*​








You carefully consider this for about HALF A SECOND before completely FLIPPING YOUR SHIT ON YOURSELF.  It's not a REAL DOLLAR, it's just a PAINTING OF ONE.  You are SO RICH, that you PAY PEOPLE TO CREATE PORTRAITS OF MONEY.  You have accumulated PAINTINGS OF EACH DOLLAR BILL, but you can only see TWO OF THEM at the moment; the others are in DIFFERENT ROOMS.​


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## I liek Squirtles (May 21, 2014)

$>Inspect weird green thing on floor.


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## kyeugh (May 21, 2014)

I liek Squirtles said:


> *$>Inspect weird green thing on floor.*​








You inspect the WEIRD GREEN THING ON THE FLOOR and find that is in fact a TANGIGRAM.  TANGIGRAMS are the result of ALOE turning NOTHING into SOMETHING.  Often referred to as GHOSTGRAMS, they are shadows of ANY REGISTERED ENTITY IN ALOE'S DATABASE; in this case, just a PLAIN OVAL.  They behave much like a HOLOGRAM, but ALOE gives them PHYSICAL FORM.  Potentially, you can create ANYTHING using TANGIGRAMS.  ALOE sure is USEFUL.

And guess WHO MADE IT?  Your ANCESTORS.  Hell yes.​


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## I liek Squirtles (May 26, 2014)

$>Use other tangigram maker to make more cold hard ca$h.


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## kyeugh (May 27, 2014)

I liek Squirtles said:


> *$>Use other tangigram maker to make more cold hard ca$h.*​








Unfortunately, that is your COMPUTER, and not a TANGIGRAM MAKER.  You are sure that there is at least one TANGIGRAM MAKER, usually referred to as TANGENERATORS, in your ENORMOUS HOUSE somewhere, but it does not belong to you.  Your parents would never let you NEAR IT, because they are afraid you would do EXACTLY WHAT YOU JUST THOUGHT OF DOING.​


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## I liek Squirtles (May 28, 2014)

$>Use computer to commit insurance fraud.


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## kyeugh (Jul 25, 2014)

Spoiler: Author's Note



I've been busy lately, but I've finally worked out  a plan to start up on this again!  It's probably dead by now, so I'm  going to ask that you all try your best to respond!  If no one does, I  will progress the plot on my own, but that's no fun.




I liek Squirtles said:


> *$>Use computer to commit insurance fraud.​*








You consider actually doing THIS for a moment, and then remember that you're FILTHY FUCKING RICH and have NO REASON TO COMMIT AN INSURANCE FRAUD.  Hell, PEOPLE WHO COMMIT INSURANCE FRAUDS only acquire THE AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU KEEP IN YOUR POCKETS AT ALL TIMES.  Chumps.​​


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## I liek Squirtles (Jul 31, 2014)

$>Call your faithful butler Heimlich to use as a footstool while you message another friend of yours.


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## kyeugh (Aug 2, 2014)

I liek Squirtles said:


> *$>Call your faithful butler Heimlich to use as a footstool while you message another friend of yours.​*








You have no BUTLER NAMED HEIMLICH.  What a stupid thing to even consider doing.  You're A COMPLETE IDIOT for thinking anything even vaguely related to that.  As PUNISHMENT, you take one of your own DOLLAR BILLS and fold it into a DOLLAR AIRPLANE, flying it up to where you can't reach.  Then you give in and FETCH IT.  You can't stay mad at you.

You do, however, have ANOTHER FRIEND that you can message.  She's messaging you right now; your COMMAND PROMPT GRAPEVINE CLIENT is basically alive with MESSAGES.  Despite being rich enough to use whatever CLIENT you want, you prefer the COMMAND PROMPT.  You are a MAN OF SIMPLE TASTES.  A BADASS, UNPRECEDENTED MAN OF BADASS, UNPRECEDENTED SIMPLE TASTES.

Currently, Willow is riding your ASS.  She's pathetic and you hate her.  You do not have any feelings for her at all.  Not even one.  Actually, you do.  ANGER.  You HATE Willow.  You would never like HER.  Ever.  End of discussion.

Ever.



Spoiler: GRAPEVINE LOG



WIS:hiya, remmy!!
REM:For the love of god, stop calling me that.
WIS:oh, i thought you were gone or something!!  good to see you!!
REM:I suppose it doesn't dull my day to see you either.
WIS:wow, thats prolly the lightest thing ive ever heard you say!!
REM:Yes, well, don't read too much into it.
WIS:dont worry, i wont!! :3 did you know its wills birthday today??
REM:Yes, I did.  I've already given him my best wishes.
WIS:oh?? whatd you get him?
REM:The pleasure of engaging in conversation with someone of my nobility.
WIS: oh, thats a pretty good gift i guess..  i am going to see what my capsules give me!!  ill send him whatever it is.. they always know better than i do!!
REM:Doesn't everyone?
WIS:oh shut up..  youre really mean sometimes..
REM:Yes, well, we all have weaknesses.  Yours is mental, and mine is just the fact that I'm rich and don't have to put up with peasants like yourself.
WIS:whatever..
WIS:well, if you feel like being a real friend, id love to help you pick out a good gift!!
REM:I need not your assistance.  I'm absolutely filthy rich, and as such have been endowed with an innate sense of... basically everything, really.
WIS:id like to see how well you fare without all that money..
REM:Probably reasonably well.  Clearly the gods have nothing against me, rich or not.
* WIS gives an exasperated sigh.. *
WIS:well im off to be a not terrible friend and see what the capsules have for me today, i guess ill see you later..
REM:Fare thee well.
WIS has quit (Quit:see you later! <3)​


​


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## I liek Squirtles (Aug 2, 2014)

$>Complain about plebeians.


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## kyeugh (Aug 28, 2014)

I liek Squirtles said:


> *$>Complain about plebeians.​*








PLEBIANS.  You hate them.  They're just awful.  Hate hate hate.  They're terrible, terrible PLEBS.  Just horrible.  You can't express how terrible they are.  So bad.

Let's do something useful now.​​


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## I liek Squirtles (Aug 28, 2014)

$>Take out robot accountant from modus.


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## Superbird (Aug 28, 2014)

$>Use family's wealth to buy the entire adjacent country.


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## kyeugh (Aug 29, 2014)

I liek Squirtles said:


> *$>Take out robot accountant from modus.​*








Now we're in business!  You remove the trusty BUCKBOT from your ATM PARAGON.  To withdraw the BUCKBOT, you deposit a HANDY PAPERCLIP.

The BUCKBOT is pretty much useless.  Most people install additional SOFTWARES so it carries out functions, but you never have.  You have people that hire people that hire your accountants.  Why would you need a BUCKBOT?​​


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## I liek Squirtles (Sep 1, 2014)

:D

$>BUCKBOT, make it rain!

I think you should take the reins now Majorowak
It's starting to get out of control, the time-wasting


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