# TruetoCheese vs JackPK



## Eifie (Apr 19, 2015)

[size=+2]*TruetoCheese vs JackPK*[/size]



Spoiler: Arena



*Format:* 2v2 single
*DQ:* 1 week
*Damage Cap:* 30%
*Banned/Restricted Moves:* OHKOes, Direct Recovery moves, Substitute, Sleep-inducing moves
*Arena Description:* THE TRAINTASTIC QUEST FOR PIZZA

Jerome the Swablu said he has leftover pizza and can’t finish it. In fact, he has exactly enough pizza to share with one(1) Pokemon. Jerome lives really far away though, so you’ll have to take the train. _Jerome’s train._

The train is composed of seven carriages, at the end of every round the unruly passengers (unruly because you keep attacking things near them and oh my god you nearly hit a baby you monster) will attempt to shove you off to another carriage. The two battlers’ health and energy will be averaged (as in total health + total energy  then divided by 4) and a random number between 1 and 60 added to it. If Pokemon’s total  is greather than the passenger’s specified totals then they get to stay in the carriage. 

The seven carriages and their passengers are:

*Blue:* The economy carriage, right at the back with the bathroom right freaking there. Everyone one here is kind of timid and doesn’t really want to speak out because maybe they can just stomach it before they get there. Of course, there are some who stand out from the pack. 50% chance that the passengers will have a 45 removal total, but a 50% chance they’ll have an 85 removal total.

*Purple:* The aristocracy lounge here. Well, that’s what they think. The carriage is populated by a group of people who willfully suspend the belief (high above their heads, in fact) that they are indeed the uppermost of the upper class. This is not true, but their rented suits for a train journey will not deter them. Passengers here will not tolerate any indecency, but are normally tolerant of plebian games. They have a 60 removal total that goes up for any loud or unruly move that is used. Just as well, because while they’re tolerant, they’re very much fakely so. They hold themselves so highly that all Pokemon in the carriage gain the Flying type in addition to all other types.

*Green:* The train’s greenhouse. Jerome actually has it powered by PLANT POWER, and when he says plant power he means they’re just electrical wires in the shape of plants hooked up to the engine. That’s not to say Jerome didn’t go all out. The room is rife with dangerous fake plants and their plasticy, oily stench.  There’s a 40% chance that a Venus Wire-trap will fix itself on a battler at random, preventing the use of all physical moves. The battler may spend an action attempting to tear off the Wire-Trap.  There is also a 40% chance that instead of a Wire-Trap, a Sun-Flower will emerge and soak up all special moves for the round, and can be destroyed using an action. This arena effect is calculated as soon as the battlers exit the previous carriage, and is told to the trainers before they give their commands for the round taking place in the Green carriage. The power plants have a 60 removal total. However, on every re-entry into the room, both the individual chances for the plants to hinder a battler and the removal total will go down by 10.

*Orange:* All the children are kept here. Every round spent in this cabin deals 5% typeless damage to each Pokemon present. There is also a 15% chance on each action that the Pokemon will be unable to perform its move because THAT UNATTENDED BABY IS OPENING A WINDOW. Upon leaving the carriage, the trainers will be absolutely pooped, and the Pokemon will get random orders for their next action. Passengers here love Pokemon, a lot, any kind, and have a 90 removal total.

*White:* This room is blindingly white. Like really, really white. All battler’s suffer a -1 Accuracy penalty. All trainers also have a 30% chance on each action to point their command at the wrong Pokemon on the field(i.e their opponent’s). If given their opponent’s order, the Pokemon will be considered to have access to the ordered move for that action. The room is empty but the doors are painted white, so they have a 70 removal total.

*Violet:* This is the carriage of true aristocracy. So true that they aren’t actually here because what kind of respectful filthy-richer would ride on a train? Disgusting. All that’s in this room is a really big jet made of solid gold, one of the spares of a regular train rider (but don’t tell his friends). This room is very cramped and any moves that don’t require the user to be a meter from their target will fail. It’s kind of hard to get out of this room, so battlers will stay in it for two rounds.

*Black:* It’s the train driver’s birthday party! He’s an old coot so he has a lot of friends in his lifetime, most of them being passengers. The room is absolutely brimming with people, all of them wearing conductors’ hats. Pokemon start on top of one of each of the people’s hats and have to jump about between the gaps in the throng, lest they fall in and take 5% typeless damage and are shoved grumpily back to the top. At the end of the round the party ends and everyone returns to their cabins, so the Pokemon are forced out no matter what.

*The Roof:* WHY ARE WE UP HERE OH GOD. HOLD ON FOR DEAR LIFE BECAUSE A ROUND IS ONLY TWO ACTIONS OVER HERE. THE REMOVAL TOTAL IS 80, AND IF THE POKEMON FAIL THE REMOVAL ROLL THEN THEY TAKE 10% TYPELESS DAMAGE EACH. AAAAAAAH.

The battlers will begin the battle in a random carriage (except the roof).

EDIT: The battle is now a 2v2. JackPK and I will both use our Honedges as our openers, then we plan to have Jack's Froakie Sheena versus one of my type neutral mons (Jupiter the Drifloon or Frog the Croagunk probably).



*TruetoCheese's active squad*

 *Coulomb* the male Pichu <Static> @ Thunder Stone
 *Rathian* the female Noibat <Infiltrator>
 *Cuttler* the male Inkay <Contrary>
 *Nosada* the female Honedge <No Guard> @ Lucky Egg
 *Pants!* the male Scraggy <Shed Skin>
 *Bram Stoker* the male Zubat <Inner Focus>
 *Littlefoot* the male Amaura <Refrigerate> @ Never-Melt Ice
 *FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY* the female Zorua <Illusion>
 *Jupiter* the male Drifloon <Unburden> @ Lucky Egg
 *Frog* the male Croagunk <Anticipation> @ Lucky Egg


*JackPK's active squad*

 *Sheena* the female Froakie <Torrent>
 *Reynolds* the male Inkay <Contrary>
 *Lancelot* the male Honedge <No Guard>
 *Louise* the female Budew <Poison Point>

Since you've already decided to send out *Nosada* and *Lancelot*: JackPK posts commands first, then TruetoCheese posts commands.


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## JackPK (Apr 19, 2015)

Here we go! Start out with an attempt to get ahead in Speed with Autotomize! Then, if Nosada has used a stat boosting move, give her a taste of her own medicine with Iron Defense; if not, Shadow Claw. On your last action, Shadow Claw again, unless it's Spited, in which case Reflect!

In case of Attraction, default to your non-damaging command for that action; it's nice to show off, and you won't be hurting her, so hopefully you shouldn't have a problem with going ahead and acting!

*Autotomize ~ Iron Defense/Shadow Claw ~ Shadow Claw/Reflect*

Thanks for picking this battle up, Eifie.


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 19, 2015)

Alright, Nosada, you know how a Honedge moves, you know how a Honedge _flows._ So you'll be able to tell if Lancelot's made a move. And so we'll be making the move by *making a move on him.* Use that flow of your sash, the slow, tense unsheathing.

Follow this up with a *Swords Dance*, practice your swing while you can, show him how a real blade moves. Get next to a window on the carriage if you can and really make the light glint off your blade, catch his attention as best you can. You could even slide your blade tantalizingly across a wall, anything really; I don't quite understand Honedge mating rituals but they way you're blushing seems to indicate it'll work. Hopefully we can get his attraction to you even higher? Or just distract him that action.

Then start working on your blade, saunter up to him and *Autotomize *right in his face. Make him watch as you make yourself the perfect blade right before his eyes. That should get his motor running.

*Attract ~ Swords Dance ~ Autotomize*


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## Eifie (Apr 19, 2015)

*Round One*​
*TruetoCheese* (2/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 100%
*Energy*: 100%
*Status*: Patiently awaiting the start of the battle, her lovely cloth rippling in lovely waves down the back of her lovely sheath.

*JackPK* (2/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 100%
*Energy*: 100%
*Status*: Impatiently awaiting the pizza.

------------------------------​
*Two Honedge on a Train: A Love Story*
_by E. L. James_

Lancelot was really just here for the pizza. But all that changed when he saw... _her_.

The Honedge had never seen a female of his species before. He'd been too busy spending all his life in his trainer's basement. Then the pizza had called to him, and he'd had no choice but to answer. So here he is on Jerome's train, surrounded by the pinnacles of high fashion in their rented suits and knockoff designer luggage, all staring at him disapprovingly, while the most beautiful (and only) Honedge maiden he has ever seen watches him critically from across the carriage. Maybe he should drop some of that extra pudge. With one swift, fluid motion (so he hopes), he tugs himself free of his sheath and carelessly tosses it aside, hitting a passenger of high royalty in the face. As said nobleman sputters indignant (yet classy, of course) curses in his direction... it happens.

Nosada unsheathes herself in turn, slowly, emphasizing the smooth graze of sheath on blade as Lancelot watches her, transfixed. When at last the dim, hazy light of the carriage glints off the tip of her blade, she turns to gaze at him intently with her one beautiful azure eye, swirling with all the colours of the ocean and the sky, reflecting the lovely blue of her intricately-sewn sash rippling invitingly in an unseen breeze. Truly it is love at first sight, but is our intrepid young basement-dwelling peasant worthy of such a highborn maiden? Find out in the full version of _Two Honedge on a Train: A Love Story_, only $2332 ASBux at a bookstore near you!




Torrent downloaded from http://www.demonoid.me

Eager to prove his worth, Lancelot gets right down to work, focusing on the tip of his blade until it begins to glow with a blinding white light. (In reality, the light is gray-tinged and pretty dull, but he's never going to admit that.) The energy washes over his blade, leaving a thin layer of fresh new steel in its wake. Lancelot brandishes his new self with an internal smirk, admiring the way the light bounces off its shiny new exterior. Nosada responds with a few swings of her own blade, quickly drawing it across some unfortunate group's table to sharpen its edge before leaping into an intricate series of feints and jabs and whirls that Lancelot recognizes as the fabled Honedge mating dance, which he's only ever read about in private browsing mode before. His breath catches in his throat, and he almost feels his hilt redden as non-existent blood rushes to his non-existent face...

Unsure of how he's supposed to respond to this ritual (he never really paid attention to anything but the beautiful maidens themselves, after all), Lancelot tries an experimental slash of his blade in a circle around him, leaving a trail of glimmering golden energy in his wake. He cuts another, vertical circle through the air, perpendicular to the first, and more psychic energy flows from his blade to fill the gaps between the two rings, expanding into a bubble of protective force around him that surely casts a dazzling light on his newly-polished blade. Nosada halts her dance to fling her sheath, too, off into a corner to rest next to his, all the more to emphasize the slim but deadly blade that slowly, tantalizingly approaches him...

_To be continued in book two: estimated release August 2027, three days before the next Game of Thrones novel!_

------------------------------​
*TruetoCheese* (2/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 100%
*Energy*: 92%
*Status*: Feeling a little... exposed. Weight halved. _+2 Attack, +2 Speed_.
*Used*: Attract ~ Swords Dance ~ Autotomize

*JackPK* (2/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 100%
*Energy*: 94%
*Status*: Utterly captivated. Severely infatuated (40% failure chance). Weight halved. _+2 Defense, +2 Speed_.
*Used*: Autotomize ~ Iron Defense ~ Reflect

*Arena Status*

 Lancelot is protected by a Reflect (4 more actions).
 The battlers are in the purple carriage. Everyone has a tertiary Flying type.

*Damage and Energy*


 Nosada's Health: 100%
 Nosada's Energy: 100% - 4% (Attract) - 2% (Swords Dance) - 2% (Autotomize) = 92%
 Lancelot's Health: 100%
 Lancelot's Energy: 100% - 2% (Autotomize) - 2% (Iron Defense) - 1% (Reflect) - 1% (Reflect) = 94%

*Notes*

 i'm so sorry
 When there's a speed tie, I have the Pokémon that was commanded first move first.
 JackPK's justification for Lancelot using his attacks while attracted was not the most convincing, but I knocked 10% off the roll needed for each of those actions. (Then I tacked on an extra 5% for TruetoCheese's oh-so-very convincing Honedge smut, so it was a net 5% difference.) This ended up being relevant on action 3 where he rolled exactly a 45.
 The battlers starting off in the purple carriage, and were granted the lofty privilege of staying there for another round. Praise be!
 *TruetoCheese* commands first.


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 20, 2015)

Eifie you missed a 50 Blades of Grey reference :c

Also I can't believe I said that *shudders*

Before I need to go smash my head into a wall, let's handle your love life, Nosada. Tell Lancelot how *much better off he'd be with you*, that he needs no trainer who just gives him commands. Say it as loud as you can, making sure to disrupt the nearby patrons of this fine carriage. Of course, if he's thrown up a protective shield, then we'll just have to *Swords Dance* by the light of the window, whipping your sash into any of the patrons nearby as you swirl and swoop and droop about in front of him. He should still be able to see your moves through the barrier, and it'll only help that you made your sword so much more slender last round. All these aerial maneuvers should be easy enough to do since you've got that Flying type, along with the fact you're already floating.

Following in that vein, we'll grab the nearest glass of water, pour it over your blade then *Autotomize *your exterior coat by the window to let the light glint of your sword. The drops should cascade down your shimmering blade, revealing an even brighter one beneath. Try and see if you can nab a glass someone's just about to drink. The droplets sliding down your blade should be more than enough to entrance Lancelot further, but even so do that thing in the movies where you blink veeeery slowly; so to him the world seems to be in slow motion around you.

End your wooing by sidling up to a wall and *Swords Dancing* across it, cutting into the metal so you can spell something along the lines of I  U as large as you can. Make sure to be as loud as you can too, we have to distract the patrons and get Lancelot's attention. Swish your sash as you dance as well, it'll only accentuate your newly slendered blade. Dem curves.

*Swagger/Swords Dance into the night ~ Autotomize like a jewel gurl ~ Swords Dance your cares away*


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## JackPK (Apr 20, 2015)

Aha! Look how much she liked your pretty golden shield — it even prompted her to strip down for you! Go get 'er, tiger, by showing her another lovely shield that's sure to woo her even further!

After she sees how lovely that is, give her the mating cry of your people. It may sound awful to us humans, but I'm sure since she's a Honedge she'll adore it! After all, since she's only allowed to use Autotomize once per battle, I'm sure she'll be feeling self-conscious about her command's failure, so hearing the _kssshing!_ of your blade is sure to cheer her up!

After that lovely show with the water on her shiny blade, we know she must love glittery, shimmery things like wet metal or diamonds or... you know, you have an attack that's nice and shiny! Its sparks are bright and beautiful like a thousand suns, which coincidentally are symbols of your love for her! I'm sure she'd love to see a show of your affection, so go ahead and let it glisten!

*Protect ~ Metal Sound ~ Shock Wave*


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## Eifie (Apr 20, 2015)

*Round Two*​
*TruetoCheese* (2/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 100%
*Energy*: 92%
*Status*: Feeling a little... exposed. Weight halved. _+2 Attack, +2 Speed_.

*JackPK* (2/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 100%
*Energy*: 94%
*Status*: Utterly captivated. Severely infatuated (40% failure chance). Weight halved. _+2 Defense, +2 Speed_.

------------------------------​
Eager to impress the fair maiden standing (or whatever swords do) in front of him, Lancelot slices his blade through the air around him again, resulting in a dazzling display of twinkling lights that solidify into a nearly transparent protective bubble around him. Surely the sublime golden light that filters from his Light Screen out through his new shield must be a sight to behold! Nosada hardly spares it a second glance, however, which is quite disappointing. The other Honedge flutters over to a window on a newly-sprouted pair of purple wings to match the walls, "accidentally" slapping a few unfortunate passengers in the face with her fluttering sash on the way. Once again she twirls her blade about, and yet more elegantly-dressed noblemen find themselves slapped by a hard metal hilt, or the flat of a blade. The passengers begin to eye the couple in irritation, muttering a few cross words under their breath.

One of the dissenters reaches for a glass of water, and Nosada sees her chance. Quick as the slash of a fine-tipped blade (for that's exactly what she is), she literally flies across the room, and, lamenting her lack of opposable thumbs, (or indeed, hands at all), resorts to dunking herself point-first into the glass. A few traces of rust flake off of her into the water as she pulls herself out, and the man upends the glass on her hilt in his rage. Nosada gives herself a shake, letting the water drip over her as she's seen Lopunny do in the movies, turns to Lancelot, and... is not quite sure what to do next. She's already thrown away her sheath, and there's not much more of her she can get rid of without being positively indecent. Lancelot applauds her anyway, however, sliding the flat of his blade along the edge of a table to produce a satisfying _scrrrrrreeeeeeeech_ sound that has all the passengers clapping their hands over their ears in agony. Even Nosada seems a little unsettled, shuddering hard enough to shake off another few lingering droplets of water, and Lancelot's heart stops for a moment.

Nosada soon resumes her dancing, however, carving intricate patterns through the air and then, literally, through the metal wall of the carriage. Her finely-honed blade grows even sharper as she defaces the clearly extravagantly-priced metal interior, leaving behind a series of indentations that could be vaguely interpreted to read "τ φ µ". Who said she could spell?

... Maybe she should have spent a little more time on her book studies instead of devoting her entire life to the ways of the blade. From the look in Lancelot's one eye, the gleam of his hilt, the angle of his blade, it's clear that she's written something wrong. Howling in despair, Lancelot mindlessly unleashes a pulse of electric energy in all directions, shocking all the passengers and causing their various Apple devices (proof of their eminent financial status) to malfunction. Good thing they've got AppleCare... what? Damaged caused by electrical shock from a furious Honedge going wild in their train carriage on their quest for free pizza isn't covered under the warranty? None of them can afford to _pay_ for repairs... As Nosada, too, screams in pain, electricity coursing through those delicate purple wings, the dwellers of the purple carriage gang up on the two battling trainers, rudely forcing them out and into the blue economy carriage next door.

------------------------------​
*TruetoCheese* (2/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 89%
*Energy*: 88%
*Status*: Feeling a bit better now that her wings have mysteriously disappeared. Weight halved. _+6 Attack, -2 Special Defense, +2 Speed_.
*Used*: Swords Dance ~ Autotomize (failed) ~ Swords Dance

*JackPK* (2/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 100%
*Energy*: 86%
*Status*: Wondering if he took that a bit too far... Moderately infatuated (25% failure chance). Weight halved. _+2 Defense, +2 Speed_.
*Used*: Protect ~ Metal Sound ~ Shock Wave

*Arena Status*

 Lancelot is protected by a Reflect (1 more action).
 The battlers were kicked out of the second most boring carriage and are now in the first more boring carriage: the blue carriage. Nothing happens here.

*Damage and Energy*


 Nosada's Health: 100% - 11% (Shock Wave) = 89%
 Nosada's Energy: 92% - 2% (Swords Dance) - 2% (Swords Dance) = 88%
 Lancelot's Health: 100%
 Lancelot's Energy: 94% - 2% (Protect) - 2% (Metal Sound) - 4% (Shock Wave) = 86%

*Notes*

 I actually really hate writing Attract so I hope you're not too disappointed at the lack of Fifty Blades Darker. :p Rest assured that your command descriptions are still having effect, though!
 A Pokémon can only use Autotomize once per battle, so Nosada's on the second action failed.
 The random number gods seem to have bestowed their favour upon our intrepid hero Lancelot.
 Shock Wave dealt super-effective damage since the purple carriage gave everyone the Flying type.
 The battlers just barely got kicked out from the purple carriage because of all their disruption. They're in the blue carriage now.
 *JackPK* commands first.


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## JackPK (Apr 20, 2015)

Oops, Lancelot! That probably hurt her! She'll be mad now, so make sure you weather her rage so when she cools off, you can get back to wooing her. To that end, start with another layer of defensive coating and then weave yourself another beautiful shield when your current one fades.

With your defenses nice and tight, let loose and show off for her! Make sure she knows you're the goddamn finest Honedge around and any lady would be lucky to be your Guinevere!

Those are your default commands, but if she's commanded to come after you with a Shadow Claw, go ahead and Protect against it instead. Don't Protect on the second action, though; she loved that Reflect shield so much that it'd be a shame to lose it without replacing it.

*Iron Defense/Protect ~ Reflect ~ Swagger/Protect*


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 21, 2015)

Of course we end up in the Blue carriage. Damn, I woudn't be surprised if the RNG throws us back into that damned Purple one again.

While we're here, we can make use of the throng of people, at least. Before Lancelot can react, give him a good *Night Slash* after his Iron Defense. If he didn't do anything out of his sheer love for you, then *Shadow Claw* instead. 

Then, we'll have to see if he throws up a Reflect. If he doesn't, out of his somewhat lackluster devotion to you, then swipe with a *Shadow Claw*. If he has used Reflect then use a *Brick Break* to shatter the barrier and go through him (since he's a ghost), continuing onwards into someone's face. You've been practicing your swordplay all this time, you've dropped your sheathe and you've slendered your blade, so moving dextrously won't be a problem. Hopefully the row at someone being stabbed would be crazy enough so you can't hear or see a Swagger.

If you Shadow Clawed last action, then follow through with a *Protect *on his Swagger. If you used Brick Break you'll be surrounded by a bunch of rowdy passengers trying to beat you and each other up. They'll probably be punching and fighting and kicking, since they're panicky dudes on a train, so use *Shadow Sneak to hide in one of their shadows*. But don't come out, I want you to stay with their shadow as the crowd disperses so Lancelot can't find you. We'll save popping out for next round.

*Night Slash/Shadow Claw ~ Shadow Claw/Brick Break aimed to slice open or stab someone's face afterwards ~ Protect/Shadow Sneak into one of the person's shadows*


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## Eifie (Apr 22, 2015)

*Round Three*​
*TruetoCheese* (2/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 89%
*Energy*: 88%
*Status*: Feeling a bit better now that her wings have mysteriously disappeared. Weight halved. _+6 Attack, -2 Special Defense, +2 Speed_.

*JackPK* (2/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 100%
*Energy*: 86%
*Status*: Wondering if he took that a bit too far... Moderately infatuated (25% failure chance). Weight halved. _+2 Defense, +2 Speed_.

------------------------------​
Deciding to take things slow and keep to himself for a while, Lancelot sits in a corner polishing his blade, as swords do. As he concentrates, another thin, almost liquid layer of shimmering metal appears over the newly-gleaming silver, melding itself to the Honedge's blade to fortify his defenses even further. Apparently it's too late to make amends, though. With an enraged cry, Nosada cloaks her blade with an aura of dark energy and leaps forward through the air to deliver a slash across Lancelot's hilt. His trusty golden shield slows her down, absorbing some of the force of the blow, but it's Lancelot's feelings that are hurt more than his hilt, and as the bubble of psychic energy fades from around him, his heart feels more vulnerable than ever. Overcome by betrayal, the most he can stand to do now is continue to defend: and so he does, closing his eyes and focusing to create a new veil of protective energy to replace the last.

Nosada doesn't like this. No, Nosada doesn't like this at all. Nosada is tired of tiptoeing around Lancelot's little shields and tricks and respecting the passengers' personal space. Positioning herself so that Lancelot is all that separates her from a hapless family of four in seats by the window, Nosada launches herself forward and stabs at Lancelot's shield once, twice. The first strike visibly strains the bubble, and the second shatters it entirely, but Nosada's not done yet. She goes in for the kill, propelling her blade forward with all the strength she can muster, and... flies right through the cowering Lancelot, "accidentally" smacking one of the children in the face with the flat of her blade. The mother turns on her in rage, furiously smacking Nosada with her handbag, as the father upends a glass of water on the little pest.

Lancelot observes the growing riot, perplexed. Nosada doesn't seem to be paying much attention to him, what with the two children screaming and engaging in a fierce game of tug-of-war with her sash, but he's got to give it a shot. The Honedge sidles up to the family's table and clears his throat. A fedora appears upon his hilt, and he reaches up to tilt it with a ghostly hand that pops into existence solely for this maneuver and promptly disappears again. He opens his non-existent mouth and launches into a tirade about how he can free m'lady from a thousand prisons and ride off with m'lady happily into the sunset to live happily ever after, even King freaking _Arthur_'s wife cheated on him with Lancelot... but it's no use. In fact, at some point near the end of his rant Nosada simply melts away into the shadows, leaving the children suddenly clutching at nothing, and when he turns he sees her peeking out from underneath some luggage a table over. How on earth did she get _there_...?

------------------------------​
*TruetoCheese* (2/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 86%
*Energy*: 76%
*Status*: Cackling at her stealth maneuvers. Weight halved. _+6 Attack, -2 Special Defense, +2 Speed_.
*Used*: Night Slash ~ Brick Break ~ Shadow Sneak

*JackPK* (2/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 94%
*Energy*: 78%
*Status*: Finally accepting that he and Nosada are just not meant to be. Weight halved. _+4 Defense, +2 Speed_.
*Used*: Iron Defense ~ Reflect ~ Swagger (failed)

*Arena Status*

 The battlers are still in the blue carriage. Nothing happens here.

*Damage and Energy*


 Nosada's Health: 89% - 3% (angry mob) = 86%
 Nosada's Energy: 88% - 5% (Night Slash) - 5% (Brick Break) - 2% (Shadow Sneak) = 76%
 Lancelot's Health: 100% - 6% (Night Slash) = 94%
 Lancelot's Energy: 86% - 2% (Iron Defense) - 1% (Reflect) - 1% (Reflect) - 4% (Swagger) = 78%

*Notes*

 On the first action, both battlers were commanded to wait for the other; since Lancelot's orders to wait were more implicit and he was technically faster, he ended up going first.
 I'm still undecided on the order in which I should apply modifiers when there are stat boosts and Reflect. I wanted to do attack boost, then reflect, then defense boost, but I just did both attack and defense before reflect for this battle.
 Brick Break was able to break the Reflect shield even though it couldn't damage Lancelot, since the shields aren't actually ghosts or anything.
 When Nosada smashed some kid in the face, she incited a bit of a riot of angry family train-goers who smacked her around and did 3% typeless damage before she was able to get away from them. Lancelot tried to Swagger her anyway, but couldn't get through since she was otherwise occupied. I'm kind of unsure about this because it's pretty foggy how No Guard interacts with these kinds of things since Pokémon with No Guard can hit things in impossible situations like when they're flying a gazillion feet off the ground and stuff, so I'm not sure if Lancelot's voice should have suddenly gotten loud enough for him to be heard over all the chaos, or what. I'm regarding Swagger more as having failed than as having missed, so there's that. Man, No Guard is confusing. edit: it is probably important for me to mention that I mainly allowed this because the alternative would have been Nosada just plain using Protect, so it didn't actually affect anything negatively for Lancelot and was more interesting, anyway. I'm going to be stricter about these things where it actually matters.
 Lancelot is the luckiest knight in Asber, and his infatuation wore off at the end of the round.
 Your removal total was an 83(.5) + a random number which HAPPENED TO BE 1, so you had a 50% chance of getting out of here... but alas, you remain in the blue carriage. :(
 *TruetoCheese* commands first.


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 22, 2015)

Alrighty, your relationship is more or less over, and I think you should *tell him that.* Mosey on up to him and put on your thinking fedora, become a straw feminist, mix up internet stereotypes, I don't care. Just Swagger til it sticks. If he's protecting or you can't reach him with Swagger, then *Reflect *on the first action or *Iron Defense* up for the other actions. If he's in range and can be hit by a *Shadow Claw*, however, then use that on the second and third actions instead.

Once he's been hit with Swagger, start *Shadow Clawing* his face off.

*Swagger/Reflect ~ Swagger/Iron Defense/Shadow Claw ~ Swagger/Iron Defense/Shadow Claw*

One day you will learn Shadow Ball, one day...


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## JackPK (Apr 22, 2015)

Cancel out her +6 attack with one final defense buff, then take advantage of the attack boost she's so kind to give you as I cross my fingers tightly that you can avoid too much pain from your confusion!

*Iron Defense ~ Shadow Claw x2*


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## Eifie (Apr 22, 2015)

*Round Four*​
*TruetoCheese* (2/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 86%
*Energy*: 76%
*Status*: Cackling at her stealth maneuvers. Weight halved. _+6 Attack, -2 Special Defense, +2 Speed_.

*JackPK* (2/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 94%
*Energy*: 78%
*Status*: Finally accepting that he and Nosada are just not meant to be. Weight halved. _+4 Defense, +2 Speed_.

------------------------------​
Slipping out of her hiding place in the shadows, Nosada wastes no time in showing Lancelot a _real_ Swagger. Striding up to Lancelot, sword-like, she lifts a ghostly hand that materializes for just this moment to hold up her spork, which materializes for just this moment. "lol u think ur good enuff 4 t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m?????? im 2 random 4 u!!! besides i have a girlfreind deal w/it!!! BANANAS!!!!!!!! lol sry im kind of random... suck it tho :P"

Lancelot watches Nosada stick out her tongue at him in disbelief, boiling over with undescribable rage. How _dare_ Nosada besmirch the English language in this manner?! Has her kingdom taught her no manners? What kind of filth raised her? How could he ever have loved such a... such a _monster_?! Oh, Lancelot's going to show her her place all right, because he's so alpha, bro. With that established, he channels his rage by backing off a minute to polish his sword some more. Alpha as fuck, man.

And then it begins.

Both swords surround themselves with twin auras of ghostly energy and leap forward to clash in the middle of the carriage with a resounding _clang_ of metal on metal. Nosada manages to open up a gash where Lancelot's hilt meets his blade, a point he'd neglected when polishing it, and caustic energy seeps into the wound to eat at the gleaming silver from the inside. Lancelot's aim is steady and true, cutting open a straight wound across Nosada's blade. A jab here, a feint there, and Nosada strikes again, but in her triumph she lets her guard down for a crucial moment, just enough for Lancelot to return the favour.

The two Honedge back off for a short break, both panting, Nosada looking a little worse off of the two, but not by much. The exhilaration of battle has cleared Lancelot's head, and much of his anger has faded away to be replaced by the pure thirst for victory. He eyes his opponent carefully, waiting for the next moment to strike...

------------------------------​
*TruetoCheese* (2/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 56%
*Energy*: 64%
*Status*: Tiring quickly. Weight halved. _+6 Attack, -2 Special Defense, +2 Speed_.
*Used*: Swagger ~ Shadow Claw ~ Shadow Claw

*JackPK* (2/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 65%
*Energy*: 68%
*Status*: Eager for more. Weight halved. _+2 Attack, +6 Defense, +2 Speed_.
*Used*: Iron Defense ~ Shadow Claw ~ Shadow Claw

*Arena Status*

 The battlers are still in the blue carriage. Nothing happens here.

*Damage and Energy*


 Nosada's Health: 86% - 15% (Shadow Claw) - 15% (Shadow Claw) = 56%
 Nosada's Energy: 76% - 4% (Swagger) - 4% (Shadow Claw) - 4% (Shadow Claw) = 64%
 Lancelot's Health: 94% - 16% (Shadow Claw) - 13% (Shadow Claw) = 65%
 Lancelot's Energy: 78% - 2% (Iron Defense) - 4% (Shadow Claw) - 4% (Shadow Claw) = 68%

*Notes*

 Nosada's first Shadow Claw was a critical hit.
 All the damage Lancelot took was enough for his confusion to completely wear off after the third action.
 Annnd the battlers had a removal total of 63, plus a randomly-rolled 59, so they had no chance of getting out of here no matter what happened.
 Exciting as the idea might have sounded, I have no idea how to satisfactorily describe a Honedge sword fight.
 *JackPK* commands first.


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## JackPK (Apr 23, 2015)

Double Team for as many clones as you can manage, then start using Shadow Claws. If she decides to use Shadow Claw as well, Spite it after the first time she uses it.

*Double Team ~ Shadow Claw/Spite x2*


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 23, 2015)

Alright, thanks to your lack of guard (huehuehue damnit Nosada that is indecent put your clothes back on) we can break through ALL THE CLONES. Start up with a *Reflect *to nip his damage in the bud then follow with a *Night Slash* then a *Shadow Claw*. His commands go through first this round, so we have no worries about being Spited. Hopefully we can get him low enough that we GET OUT OF THIS DAMN CARRIAGE AND PLEASE NOT THE PURPLE ANYTHING BUT THE PURPLE.

*Reflect ~ Night Slash ~ Shadow Claw*


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## Eifie (Apr 24, 2015)

*Round Five*​
*TruetoCheese* (2/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 56%
*Energy*: 64%
*Status*: Tiring quickly. Weight halved. _+6 Attack, -2 Special Defense, +2 Speed_.

*JackPK* (2/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 65%
*Energy*: 68%
*Status*: Eager for more. Weight halved. _+2 Attack, +6 Defense, +2 Speed_.

------------------------------​
Lancelot is, of course, far more intelligent than his chat-speaking doom penguin of an opponent. So, clearly, he is aware that this fight requires not just strength, but supreme tactics and strategy. Taking advantage of his lightened load (his sheath is lost somewhere in the purple car, never to be found again), he attempts to zip in a few quick circles around the carriage, but space is tight, so he just kind of plods around instead, trying to dodge people's hands and feet and luggage. A couple of shadowy copies of himself spring up from behind him nonetheless, and all three Lancelots turn to face Nosada, who's busily carving a familiar-looking golden shield into the air around herself. Hmph. Of course she can't think of her own moves.

Already bored of this totally not alpha enough moment, Lancelot leaps back into the fray, ghostly energy glowing around his blade again, to slice the edge along Nosada's hilt, managing to catch her sash in the process even as her protective bubble slows him down. Furious, Nosada turns to one of Lancelot's clones and readies her own blade, and Lancelot smirks to himself... but in her berserk rage, Nosada slashes through all three opposing Honedge in one fell swoop, the first two disappearing when she cuts through them before she makes contact with the last. Lancelot's grin falls right off his face and lands on the floor, where it lies defenseless. How could a maiden with such disregard for strategy have outdone _him_, the great Lancelot?! The Honedge throws himself back into action and Nosada mimics his movements, and though the passengers around them wince as the _clang_ of their swords echoes through the carriage for the dozenth or so time in the past few minutes, no one is brave enough to speak up and throw them out.

------------------------------​
*TruetoCheese* (2/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 42%
*Energy*: 52%
*Status*: Distraught over the small cut in her sash. Weight halved. _+6 Attack, -2 Special Defense, +2 Speed_.
*Used*: Reflect ~ Night Slash ~ Shadow Claw

*JackPK* (2/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 42%
*Energy*: 58%
*Status*: Writing a note to his butler. He must brush up on his tactics training! Weight halved. _+2 Attack, +6 Defense, +2 Speed_.
*Used*: Double Team (2 clones) ~ Shadow Claw ~ Shadow Claw

*Arena Status*

 The battlers are still in the blue carriage. Nothing happens here.
 A Reflect covers Nosada's side of the field (3 more actions).

*Damage and Energy*


 Nosada's Health: 56% - 7% (Shadow Claw) - 7% (Shadow Claw) = 42%
 Nosada's Energy: 64% - 1% (Reflect) - 1% (Reflect) - 5% (Night Slash) - 1% (Reflect) - 4% (Shadow Claw) = 52%
 Lancelot's Health: 65% - 10% (Night Slash) - 13% (Shadow Claw) = 42%
 Lancelot's Energy: 68% - 2% (Double Team) - 4% (Shadow Claw) - 4% (Shadow Claw) = 58%

*Notes*

 Honedge continues to have an A+ movepool.
 Double Team requires space for the user to run around, and train carriages tend to be pretty cramped, so I cut the number of clones Lancelot could produce in half.
 No Guard sees right through your cloney shenanigans. No Guard is not fooled.
 From Jack's command string it looks like he meant Lancelot to wait before attacking, but the actual orders didn't really mention anything about that, so Lancelot moved first without waiting each action.
 I will admit to rolling _four times_ for the carriage thing and each time the battlers ended up staying, so, sorry. :C
 *TruetoCheese* commands first.


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 24, 2015)

We're going to be really inventive and for a *Shadow Claw*, a* Shadow Claw*, then a *Shadow Claw*. If he's protecting or untargetable just *Chill*. 

If you see a Swagger incoming, then *Protect *on it, unless you protected last action, in which case go with your standard orders of attack or chill.

*Shadow Claw/Chill/Protect x3*


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## JackPK (Apr 24, 2015)

darnit i forgot about no guard

Okay Lancelot, by my calculations it doesn't look like it's worth it to Spite her and go for an energy win. So instead we're going to be entirely uninventive take the page out of Nosada's book that she already took out of our book, and set up another *Reflect*. Follow it up with a pair of *Shadow Claws*. You'll be a bit behind after this next round, but you'll have a Reflect to back you up for longer than her.


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## JackPK (Apr 24, 2015)

oops i forgot my command string

*Reflect ~ Shadow Claw x2*


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## Eifie (Apr 24, 2015)

you guys how am I supposed to write a whole reffing about this lmao


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## Eifie (Apr 24, 2015)

*Round Six*​
*TruetoCheese* (2/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 42%
*Energy*: 52%
*Status*: Distraught over the small cut in her sash. Weight halved. _+6 Attack, -2 Special Defense, +2 Speed_.

*JackPK* (2/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 42%
*Energy*: 58%
*Status*: Writing a note to his butler. He must brush up on his tactics training! Weight halved. _+2 Attack, +6 Defense, +2 Speed_.

------------------------------​
Water break. For the umpteenth time this battle, Lancelot slices through the air, leaving an imprint of psychic energy in his blade's trail. He exhales, and the energy blows up into a little bubble around him to shield him from incoming attacks. What stunning forethought and strategy! Lancelot's tactical genius is commendable. So unlike that maiden's over there.

And then, the real battle resumes.

_Clang_. Nosada gets in the first strike, forcing herself through Lancelot's protective veil to land a vengeful blow to his hilt and sash. Cloth. It's a manly _cloth_. Lancelot responds with a clever, completely unnecessary feint, jabbing to her right and then her left and then her right and then her left and then her right and now he's bored so he just smashes his blade into hers. The passengers begin looking at them in annoyance, muttering under their breath about those ridiculous swords with only one eye and their twin shields.

_Clink_. Nosada performs a completely predictable swerving maneuver that doesn't fool Lancelot one bit. The surge of ghostly energy that she slams into his blade still kind of hurts, though. The only reason he couldn't avoid it is because, as any experienced swordsmon knows, such a thing is not possible in such close quarters. If you are thinking otherwise, Lancelot looks upon you in disapproval. Lancelot is well-trained in the old swordly arts, a true master, and don't you forget it.

_Klinklang_. Ha! Lancelot the narrator made a funny joke! Ah, he's such a clever, likeable Honedge. Both blades clash yet again, each Pokémon struggling to overwhelm the other with its own rush of caustic energy, but they're forcibly broken apart as the passengers descend upon them in an angry stampade, shoving the trainers out and into the neighbouring orange carriage. Nosada doesn't even manage to bring her Reflect shield with her. What an amateur.

------------------------------​
*TruetoCheese* (2/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 28%
*Energy*: 37%
*Status*: Pleased with her unique and cunning strategy. Weight halved. _+6 Attack, -2 Special Defense, +2 Speed_.
*Used*: Shadow Claw ~ Shadow Claw ~ Shadow Claw

*JackPK* (2/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 24%
*Energy*: 46%
*Status*: Pleased with his unique and cunning strategy. Weight halved. _+2 Attack, +6 Defense, +2 Speed_.
*Used*: Reflect ~ Shadow Claw ~ Shadow Claw

*Arena Status*

 The battlers are now in the orange carriage. Each Pokémon takes 5% typeless damage per round. For each Pokémon, on each action, there is a 15% chance that said Pokémon won't be able to carry out its action because it's busy babysitting or something.
 A Reflect covers Lancelot's side of the field (2 more actions).

*Damage and Energy*


 Nosada's Health: 42% - 7% (Shadow Claw) - 7% (Shadow Claw) = 28%
 Nosada's Energy: 52% - 1% (Reflect) - 4% Shadow Claw) - 1% (Reflect) - 4% (Shadow Claw) - 1% (Reflect) - 4% (Shadow Claw) = 37%
 Lancelot's Health: 42% - 6% (Shadow Claw) - 6% (Shadow Claw) - 6% (Shadow Claw) = 34%
 Lancelot's Energy: 58% - 1% (Reflect) - 1% (Reflect) - 4% (Shadow Claw) - 1% (Reflect) - 4% (Shadow Claw) - 1% (Reflect) = 46%

*Notes*

 Nosada's Reflect wore off after the third action.
 The battlers' total this round was 33.75 (which I rounded up) + 47 (randomly generated), but PRAISE THE LORD the removal total this round was 85 so they've finally gotten the hell out of here. They're now in the orange car.
 I'm assuming the arena damage contributes to the cap. Should it be applied at the end of the round or over the course of the round, something like 2%/1%/2%?
 *JackPK* commands first.


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 24, 2015)

Eifie said:


> you guys how am I supposed to write a whole reffing about this lmao


Look at it this way: the faster we finish these lovely rounds, the faster we get to use Pokemon with actual movepools!


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## JackPK (Apr 24, 2015)

Start with two more Shadow Claws (sorry, Eifie).

Then on the last action, if Nosada has a Reflect up, wait for her to act and then use Power Trick. If she doesn't have a Reflect up, use Shadow Claw.

If at any point Nosada is protecting or somehow otherwise unhittable, use Swords Dance.

*Shadow Claw/Swords Dance x2 ~ wait and Power Trick/Shadow Claw/Swords Dance*


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 24, 2015)

Okay this is going to get conditional.

I'm pretty sure we can just *Destiny Bond* on action one for the KO. So let's have you two fall in each other's arms (blades?). But since we're on the babby carriage. If he's baby-blocked on the first action I guess we can *Reflect* then follow through with a *Shadow Claw* and then wait and *Shadow Claw* to end it. But if your Destiny Bond failed on the first action then *Shadow Sneak* on the second. And if you're still alive after the Shadow Sneak, then *Reflect*.

If his first action was fine, but his second action baby-failed, throw up the *Reflect *on the second action and then wait and *Shadow Claw*.

If his first action baby-failed and you got a Reflect up, and then his second action baby-failed, do two *Shadow Claws but delay the last one*. Hopefully we can wait long enough that a baby distracts one of us.

If you're on the final action, don't have a Reflect, have been hit by one Shadow Claw, and he is waiting for you to move, then *Destiny Bond*.

*Destiny Bond/Reflect/Shadow Claw ~ Reflect/Shadow Claw/Shadow Sneak ~ wait then Shadow Claw/wait then Destiny Bond*

Also yeah you can split the damage across the round whichever way you want.


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## Eifie (Apr 24, 2015)

*Round Seven*​
*TruetoCheese* (2/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 28%
*Energy*: 37%
*Status*: Pleased with her unique and cunning strategy. Weight halved. _+6 Attack, -2 Special Defense, +2 Speed_.

*JackPK* (2/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 24%
*Energy*: 46%
*Status*: Pleased with his unique and cunning strategy. Weight halved. _+2 Attack, +6 Defense, +2 Speed_.

------------------------------​
In a stunning twist of fate that leaves everybody how shocked, Lancelot surrounds himself in shadowy energy yet again and smacks Nosada straight across the hilt. Actually stabbing with his blade is so five seconds ago, man. Strangely, Nosada doesn't seem to react. She fixes her one eye upon Lancelot eerily as a faint, dark glow shimmers around her, and simply watches. The ominous scene is broken up somewhat as a couple of children trample between them, knocking both Honedge over for a second.

As soon as Lancelot gets up again, he lunges in for the kill. Get this: he uses SHADOW CLAW. It's super effective! So effective, in fact, that Nosada's one eye closes and she slumps to the ground, and Lancelot sighs in relief... but it's not over yet. That aura of ghostly energy hasn't faded, and suddenly it opens up into a dark pool in the ground. An eerie apparition of a hand appears out of it to engulf Lancelot in dark energy, and it drags him, struggling and screaming for his life, down into the void.

The children are a bit disturbed by this tragic loss of Honedge life, so the very responsible babysitting who allowed the battle to happen in this carriage in the first place unceremoniously kicks the trainers out. The neighbouring blue car is still angry at them, probably, and won't put up with more battling shenanigans, but they're determined to finish this fight, so they climb up onto the fucking ROOF. YEAH MAN.

------------------------------​
*TruetoCheese* (1/2 left)

*Nosada*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 0%
*Energy*: 22%
*Status*: Knocked out!
*Used*: Destiny Bond ~ nothing

*JackPK* (1/2 left)

*Lancelot* 
*Ability*: No Guard
*Health*: 0%
*Energy*: 37%
*Status*: Knocked out!
*Used*: Shadow Claw ~ Shadow Claw

*Arena Status*

 The battlers are sending out on the fucking ROOF. A round is only two actions long on the fucking ROOF.

*Damage and Energy*


 Nosada's Health: 28% - 15% (Shadow Claw) - 2% (babby) - 15% (Shadow Claw) = 0%
 Nosada's Energy: 37% - 4% (Destiny Bond) - 11% (Destiny Bond) = 22%
 Lancelot's Health: 24% - 2% (babby) - 22% (Destiny Bond) = 0%
 Lancelot's Energy: 46% - 4% (Shadow Claw) - 1% (Reflect) - 4% (Shadow Claw) = 37%

*Notes*

 Lancelot's Shadow Claw KOed Nosada on the second action. He soon followed thanks to Destiny Bond.
 Lancelot's Reflect wore off just as he fainted.
 The battlers have moved onto the fucking ROOF.
 Since it's already been established that JackPK's going to use his Froakie: *TruetoCheese* sends out and posts commands, then *JackPK* posts commands. Remember that a round is only two actions long on the fucking ROOF.


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 24, 2015)

I'LL SEND OUT FROG BECAUSE HE HAS STICKY FEET AND STUFF AND CAN SURVIVE THE DREADED ROOF AAAAAAAH


_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH_

ALRIGHT BUDDY WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A CROAKING GOOD TIME. OPEN WITH A *LOW SWEEP* TO CUT THAT SUCKA DOWN. COWABUNGA AND ALL THAT. I GUESS WE'LL FOLLOW THAT WITH A *POISON JAB*? YEAH. IF SHE'S PROTECTING I GUESS WE CAN DO A* BULK UP*.

IF YOU'VE BEEN SOMEHOW ATTRACTED TO THAT CLEARLY INFERIOR FROGTHING, I SUGGEST YOU *BUFF YOURSELF UP*, LOOK NICE AND STRONG FOR THAT THERE FEMALE. MAKE YOUR MUSCLES OOZE POWER, REALLY FLEX AND SHOW OFF THAT STRENGTH OF YOURS. THEN TRY AND *CAPTIVATE *HER WITH YOUR MUSCULAR MOVES, REALLY STRETCH THEM LEGS AND SHOW OFF THAT FINE POWER. 

IF SHE'S TAUNTED YOU BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU AFTER YOU GOT ALL GUSSIED UP, WELL THAT'S JUST MEAN AND YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT FROM SOMEONE LIKE HER. YOU GOT ALL BUFFED JUST FOR HER AND NOW SHE WON'T LISTEN TO YOU? VENT YOUR *FRUSTRATION*, FROG. VENT IT.

*LOW SWEEP/BULK UP ~ POISON JAB/CAPTIVATE/FRUSTRATION*

DAMNIT I WISH YOU HAD MASAMUNE, FROG.


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## JackPK (Apr 24, 2015)

HERE WE GO SHEENA THIS ROOF IS GONNA SUUUUCK TO BATTLE ON BUT YOU GOT THIS

WAIT UNTIL HE'S COMING AT YOU WITH HIS LOW SWEEP, THEN JUMP OVER HIM WITH SOME FANCY *ACROBATICS* TO HOPEFULLY AVOID HIS ATTACK AND LAND WITH AN AWESOME OFFENSIVE. ALTERNATIVELY, IF YOU THINK DOING THAT WOULD PUT YOURSELF AT TOO MUCH RISK OF FALLING OFF THE TRAIN, *SCALD* HIM AND TAKE THE LOW SWEEP.

ON THE SECOND ACTION, GO ALL-OUT WITH A *HYDRO PUMP* BECAUSE IT'S ALRIGHT IF WE USE UP A SHIT TON OF ENERGY AS LONG AS WE GET OFF THE ROOF FASTER!

*ACROBATICS/SCALD ~ HYDRO PUMP*


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## Eifie (Apr 24, 2015)

YOU GUYS ARE HURTING MY EYES


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## Eifie (Apr 24, 2015)

*Round Eight*​
*TruetoCheese* (1/2 left)

*Frog*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: Anticipation
*Health*: 100%
*Energy*: 100%
*Status*: OH MY GOD WE'RE ON THE MOTHERFUCKING ROOF

*JackPK* (1/2 left)

*Sheena* 
*Ability*: Torrent
*Health*: 100%
*Energy*: 100%
*Status*: OH MY GOD WE'RE ON THE MOTHERFUCKING ROOF

------------------------------​


Spoiler: good version



THE TRAINERS BOTH SEND OUT THEIR FROGS AT ONCE ONTO THE MOTHERFUCKING ROOF. BOTH POKÉMON LOOK AROUND IN CONFUSION AND FRIGHT BECAUSE WHAT ARE THEY DOING ON THE MOTHERFUCKING ROOF. THIS WAS SO NOT IN THE CONTRACT. THE TRAIN ZOOMS ALONG, AND BOTH BATTLERS SHIVER IN THE COLD BREEZE BLOWING OVER THE MOTHERFUCKING ROOF.

FROG #1, ALSO KNOWN AS SHEENA, DECIDES TO HEAT THINGS UP ON THE MOTHERFUCKING ROOF. PUFFING UP HER CHEEKS, SHE HEATS UP A BUNCH OF WATER FROM HER INTERNAL RESERVOIR UNTIL STEAM BEGINS TO ESCAPE FROM HER NOSTRILS, AND THEN SPITS IT ALL FORTH IN A TORRENT OF SCALDING LIQUID. THE HISSING WATER STRIKES FROG #2 (THE ORIGINAL FROG) ON THE SIDE OF HIS FOREHEAD, AND HE RECOILS WITH A CRY FROM THE BLISTERING HEAT. WITH A FEW QUICK STEPS FORWARD TO GAIN MOMENTUM, HE DROPS AND SLIDES BASEBALL-STYLE TOWARD HIS OPPONENT ACROSS THE MOTHERFUCKING ROOF. FROG #2 SLAMS FEET-FIRST INTO FROG #1'S OWN FEET, AND KNOCKS HER LEGS OUT FROM UNDER HER. FROG #1 IS NOT PLEASED. SHE CLIMBS TO HER FEET SLOWLY, ONE BACK LEG A LITTLE UNSTEADY, AND STARES FROG #2 DOWN.

WOW, FROG #1 IS _REALLY_ NOT PLEASED. FROG #2 WINCES AND COVERS HIS FACE WITH HIS FROGGY HANDS AS HE SEES HER FROGGY CHEEKS PUFF UP AGAIN. THIS TIME, THE JET OF WATER SHE RELEASES ISN'T HEATED TO BOILING, BUT IT'S A HELL OF A LOT OF WATER TO BE UNLEASHING ON THE MOTHERFUCKING ROOF. IT THROWS FROG #2 BACKWARD RIGHT INTO HIS TRAINER'S LEGS, AND TRUETOCHEESE GRABS AT HIM MADLY TO STOP HIM FROM FALLING OFF THE MOTHERFUCKING ROOF. OR MAYBE HE'S JUST ANGRY AT HIM BECAUSE NOW HIS PANTS ARE SOAKED. THE SURFACE OF THE MOTHERFUCKING ROOF IS SLICK WITH WATER, LIQUID CASCADING OFF THE SIDES OF THE MOTHERFUCKING ROOF, BUT FROG #2 IS SKILLED IN NAVIGATING SUCH ENVIRONMENTS. HE IS, AFTER ALL, THE ORIGINAL FROG. SO IT'S WITHOUT TOO MUCH DIFFICULTY THAT HE SCURRIES BACK ACROSS TO SECRETE POISON FROM HIS KNUCKLES AND THEN PUNCH SHEENA IN THE FACE ON THE MOTHERFUCKING ROOF. FROG #1 TUMBLES BACKWARD WITH A STARTLED CROAK, AND FROG #2 WATCHES WITH A SATISFIED SMILE AS THE TOXINS START TO OOZE INTO HER SKIN.





Spoiler: easier on the eyes version



The trainers both send out their frogs at once onto the motherfucking ROOF. Both Pokémon look around in confusion and fright because what are they doing on the motherfucking ROOF. This was so not in the contract. The train zooms along, and both battlers shiver in the cold breeze blowing over the motherfucking ROOF.

Frog #1, also known as Sheena, decides to heat things up on the motherfucking ROOF. Puffing up her cheeks, she heats up a bunch of water from her internal reservoir until steam begins to escape from her nostrils, and then spits it all forth in a torrent of scalding liquid. The hissing water strikes Frog #2 (The Original Frog) on the side of his forehead, and he recoils with a cry from the blistering heat. With a few quick steps forward to gain momentum, he drops and slides baseball-style toward his opponent across the motherfucking ROOF. Frog #2 slams feet-first into Frog #1's own feet, and knocks her legs out from under her. Frog #1 is not pleased. She climbs to her feet slowly, one back leg a little unsteady, and stares Frog #2 down.

Wow, Frog #1 is _really_ not pleased. Frog #2 winces and covers his face with his froggy hands as he sees her froggy cheeks puff up again. This time, the jet of water she releases isn't heated to boiling, but it's a hell of a lot of water to be unleashing on the motherfucking ROOF. It throws Frog #2 backward right into his trainer's legs, and TruetoCheese grabs at him madly to stop him from falling off the motherfucking ROOF. Or maybe he's just angry at him because now his pants are soaked. The surface of the motherfucking ROOF is slick with water, liquid cascading off the sides of the motherfucking ROOF, but Frog #2 is skilled in navigating such environments. He is, after all, The Original Frog. So it's without too much difficulty that he scurries back across to secrete poison from his knuckles and then punch Sheena in the FACE on the motherfucking ROOF. Frog #1 tumbles backward with a startled croak, and Frog #2 watches with a satisfied smile as the toxins start to ooze into her skin.



------------------------------​
*TruetoCheese* (1/2 left)

*Frog*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: Anticipation
*Health*: 77%
*Energy*: 92%
*Status*: RRRRRRRIBBBBBBBBBBIT.
*Used*: Low Sweep ~ Poison Jab

*JackPK* (1/2 left)

*Sheena* 
*Ability*: Torrent
*Health*: 81%
*Energy*: 90%
*Status*: CRRRRRRRROAAAAAAAAK. Poisoned (1% damage/action). _-1 Speed_.
*Used*: Scald ~ Hydro Pump

*Arena Status*

 The battlers are on the fucking ROOF. A round is only two actions long on the fucking ROOF.
 The surface of the fucking ROOF is kind of slippery because fucking WATER was splashed all over the surface of the fucking ROOF.

*Damage and Energy*


 Frog's Health: 100% - 10% (Scald) - 13% (Hydro Pump) = 77%
 Frog's Energy: 100% - 4% (Low Sweep) - 4% (Poison Jab) = 92%
 Sheena's Health: 100% - 8% (Low Sweep) - 10% (Poison Jab) - 1% (poison) = 81%
 Sheena's Energy: 100% - 4% (Scald) - 6% (Hydro Pump) = 90%

*Notes*

 I ref speed boosts as ±15 to base speed. Current speed order: Sheena (56) > Frog (50).
 Doing fancy flips and twirls and shit was not such a good idea on the fucking ROOF. Sheena went with Scald instead.
 Frog's Poison Jab poisoned Sheena.
 Y'all are staying on the fucking ROOF.
 *JackPK* commands first. Remember that a round is only two actions long on the fucking ROOF.


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## JackPK (Apr 24, 2015)

HERE GOES NOTHING. WAIT AND SEE WHAT HE DECIDES TO DO.

IF HE USES SOMETHING (DAMAGING OR NOT) THAT WILL DEFINITELY LOWER YOUR STATS IF IT HITS, *PROTECT* AGAINST IT.

ALSO PROTECT IF HE USES VENOSHOCK.

IF HE USES COUNTER, ME FIRST, PAYBACK, REVENGE OR SUCKER PUNCH, USE *DOUBLE TEAM*.

IN ANY OTHER CONDITIONS, ESPECIALLY IF HE'S PREPARING A SNATCH, USE *POWER-UP PUNCH*, THEN *FACADE*.

IF YOU WOULD BE PROTECTING TWICE IN A ROW, INSTEAD USE PROTECT, THEN FACADE.

*PROTECT/DOUBLE TEAM/POWER-UP PUNCH ~ PROTECT/DOUBLE TEAM/FACADE*



Spoiler: readable version



If he uses something (damaging or not) that will definitely lower your stats if it hits, Protect against it.

Also Protect if he uses Venoshock.

If he uses Counter, Me First, Payback, Revenge or Sucker Punch, use Double Team.

In any other conditions, especially if he's preparing a Snatch, use Power-Up Punch, then Facade.

If you would be Protecting twice in a row, instead use Protect, then Facade.



wow Froakie's offensive movepool is pretty great but defensively there's not a boatload of options except Protect


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## JackPK (Apr 24, 2015)

P.S. Sheena should have 90% energy by your calcs, but the end-of-round slate lists it as 96%.


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## Eifie (Apr 25, 2015)

JackPK said:


> P.S. Sheena should have 90% energy by your calcs, but the end-of-round slate lists it as 96%.


Whoops! I always forget to apply one of the energy reductions from the very last action of a round to the actual end-of-round summary, only to discover that when I go to write up the next round. It's fixed now; thanks for pointing it out.


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 25, 2015)

ALRIGHT STILL TIRED SO JUST CHOMP DOWN WITH A *SUPER FANG* THEN *ME FIRST* SINCE SHE'S WAITING FOR YOU. *SUPER FANG* IF YOU MISSED THE FIRST TIME.

*SUPER FANG ~ ME FIRST/SUPER FANG*


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## Eifie (Apr 25, 2015)

*Round Nine*​
*TruetoCheese* (1/2 left)

*Frog*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: Anticipation
*Health*: 77%
*Energy*: 92%
*Status*: RRRRRRRIBBBBBBBBBBIT.

*JackPK* (1/2 left)

*Sheena* 
*Ability*: Torrent
*Health*: 81%
*Energy*: 90%
*Status*: CRRRRRRRROAAAAAAAAK. Poisoned (1% damage/action). _-1 Speed_.

------------------------------​


Spoiler: good version



FROG #1 WATCHES FROG #2 CAUTIOUSLY AND BACKS OFF A LITTLE ACROSS THE FUCKING ROOF, BUT TO NO AVAIL. FROG #2 BARES HIS TEETH WITH A SNARL, CHARGING THEM UP WITH INCREDIBLE AMOUNTS OF ENERGY, AND FOLLOWS FROG #1 ACROSS THE FUCKING ROOF. FROG #1 TREMBLES IN FEAR, KNOWING WHAT'S COMING, AND CRIES OUT PRE-EMPTIVELY AS FROG #2'S WEIRD FANGS TOUCH HER SLIMY SKIN. FROG #2 STARES AT HER, ROLLS HIS EYES, AND BREAKS THE SKIN, THEN CHOMPS DOWN HAPPILY. NOW FROG #1 SCREAMS IN AGONY FOR REAL. SHE DRAWS BACK HER RIGHT FIST AND THEN GIVES FROG #2 A BIT OF A WIMPY PUNCH RIGHT IN THE WHITE CHEST BANDS. YEAH MAN. THAT'LL SHOW HIM... ON THE FUCKING ROOF. FROG #2 DOESN'T SEEM TOO FAZED, BUT AT LEAST HE PULLS AWAY, AND SHEENA'S FIST FEELS A LITTLE STRONGER. THAT WAS TOTALLY THE POINT OF THE WHOLE THING, ANYWAY. OBVIOUSLY.

FROG #2 TAKES A FEW STEPS BACK ON THE FUCKING ROOF AND STARES ACROSS AT FROG #1, ARMS FOLDED ACROSS HIS CHEST. FROG #1 TAKES A FEW STEPS BACK ON THE FUCKING ROOF AND STARES ACROSS AT FROG #2, ARMS FOLDED ACROSS HER CHEST. FROG #2 WATCHES FROG #1, AND WAITS. FROG #1 WATCHES FROG #2, AND WAITS. FROG #2 GIVES IN FIRST. "FINE, LET _ME_ SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE," HE GRUMBLES, GLARING ACROSS THE FUCKING ROOF. HE TAKES A STEP FORWARD, ATTEMPTS TO BREAK INTO A RUN AROUND THE FUCKING ROOF, AND SLIPS. FROG #1 COVERS HER MOUTH TO HIDE A GIGGLE. WHOSE BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO TRY TO RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES REAL FAST AROUND THE SLIPPERY FUCKING ROOF? CERTAINLY NOT HERS, THAT'S FOR SURE. NOOOOOPE.





Spoiler: easy on the eyes version



Frog #1 watches Frog #2 cautiously and backs off a little across the fucking ROOF, but to no avail. Frog #2 bares his teeth with a snarl, charging them up with incredible amounts of energy, and follows Frog #1 across the fucking ROOF. Frog #1 trembles in fear, knowing what's coming, and cries out pre-emptively as Frog #2's weird fangs touch her slimy skin. Frog #2 stares at her, rolls his eyes, and breaks the skin, then chomps down happily. Now Frog #1 screams in agony for real. She draws back her right fist and then gives Frog #2 a bit of a wimpy punch right in the white chest bands. Yeah man. That'll show him... on the fucking ROOF. Frog #2 doesn't seem too fazed, but at least he pulls away, and Sheena's fist feels a little stronger. That was totally the point of the whole thing, anyway. Obviously.

Frog #2 takes a few steps back on the fucking ROOF and stares across at Frog #1, arms folded across his chest. Frog #1 takes a few steps back on the fucking ROOF and stares across at Frog #2, arms folded across her chest. Frog #2 watches Frog #1, and waits. Frog #1 watches Frog #2, and waits. Frog #2 gives in first. "Fine, let _me_ show you how it's done," he grumbles, glaring across the fucking ROOF. He takes a step forward, attempts to break into a run around the fucking ROOF, and slips. Frog #1 covers her mouth to hide a giggle. Whose bright idea was it to try to run around in circles real fast around the slippery fucking ROOF? Certainly not hers, that's for sure. Nooooope.



------------------------------​
*TruetoCheese* (1/2 left)

*Frog*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: Anticipation
*Health*: 75%
*Energy*: 60%
*Status*: Feeling REALLY foolish.
*Used*: Super Fang ~ Me First (failed)

*JackPK* (1/2 left)

*Sheena* 
*Ability*: Torrent
*Health*: 51% (capped)
*Energy*: 87%
*Status*: Feeling kind of foolish. Poisoned (1% damage/action). _+1 Attack, -1 Speed_.
*Used*: Power-Up Punch ~ nothing

*Arena Status*

 The battlers are on the fucking ROOF. A round is only two actions long on the fucking ROOF.
 The surface of the fucking ROOF is kind of slippery because fucking WATER was splashed all over the surface of the fucking ROOF.

*Damage and Energy*


 Frog's Health: 77% - 2% (Power-Up Punch) = 75%
 Frog's Energy: 92% - 31% (Super Fang) - 1% (Me First (failed)) = 60%
 Sheena's Health: 81% - 41% (Super Fang) = 51% (capped)
 Sheena's Energy: 90% - 3% (Power-Up Punch) = 87%

*Notes*

 Sheena couldn't use Double Team because there was not enough room on the fucking ROOF. Also there was water all over the fucking ROOF and it was slippery. Me First only works on damaging moves anyway, so it failed regardless.
 Y'all are staying on the fucking ROOF.
 *TruetoCheese* commands first. Remember that a round is only two actions long on the fucking ROOF.


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 25, 2015)

AWW COME ON EIFIE YOU KNOW I USED ME FIRST TO FORCE A DOUBLE TEAM >:C

REGARDLESS, WE'RE HERE, LET'S GET TO *SUPER FANGIN*'. USE IT UNTIL IT WORKS, THEN *SMASH HER IN THE LEG* WITH YOUR SUPERIOR LEG. IF FROG #1 PROTECTS OR IS UNTARGETABLE, WE'LL USE *ACUPRESSURE* BECAUSE THAT IS A FUN MOVE. SHOW HER YOU'RE THE REAL NUMBER ONE, FROG.

IF YOU'RE ATTRACTED THEN YOU KNOW SHE WANTS YOUR FINE, FINE, KISS. THE KISS OF A FROG, MAYBE IT'LL TURN HER INTO A PRINCESS OR YOU INTO A PRINCE IDEK SOMETHING. IT'LL BE THE MOST LOVING SUPER FANG SHE'S EVER SEEN, THE BIGGEST SMOOCH WITH A BITE OF A FEISTY BITE. SHOW HER THAT YOU LIKE HARD LOVIN' AND SHE'S GOTTEN HERSELF INTO A BAD BOY'S LIFE. AND NOW THAT WE'VE CAUGHT HER INTEREST WITH YOUR NO NONSENSE DIRECT WAYS, WE'LL SHOW HER THAT WE CAN TAKE CARE OF HER, THAT WE CAN DO PRINCELY THINGS EVEN THOUGH WE ROLL HARD. WE'LL SWEEP HER OFF HER FEET, GLIDING YOUR LEG ACROSS THE ICE AND LETTING THE SHINE CATCH YOURS AND HERS EYES. SHE WILL LOOK AT THAT LEG AND GO DAMN THAT IS A FROG I WANT.

*SUPER FANG/ACUPRESSURE ~ SUPER FANG/LOW SWEEP/ACUPRESSURE*


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## JackPK (Apr 25, 2015)

Make the smallest Substitute you can (blow a bubble and make it out of that, or something... I know "officially" 10% is the smallest possible but screw the rules use 1% if you can) to take the Super Fang, and hope Frog then assumes it "worked" as far as his commands are concerned. Then use another Hydro Pump! Try to get the ROOF as wet as possible so maybe he slips and falls like a doofus again when he tries to use Low Sweep.

*Substitute (miniscule) ~ Hydro Pump*

I'M ON MOBILE SO IT'S REALLY HARD TO SCREAM LIKE THE ROOF REQUIRES :(


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## Eifie (Apr 25, 2015)

I just realized that I was incorrectly using Low Sweep's base power as 60 instead of 65. That's fixed now; Frog loses a whopping 1% energy and Sheena loses an astounding 1% health. I trust that's not major enough for anyone to want to change their orders.


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## JackPK (Apr 25, 2015)

I'm good if TTC is.


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 25, 2015)

Eifie said:


> I just realized that I was incorrectly using Low Sweep's base power as 60 instead of 65. That's fixed now; Frog loses a whopping 1% energy and Sheena loses an astounding 1% health. I trust that's not major enough for anyone to want to change their orders.


I don't think I can ever recover ;-;

yeah it's fine :p


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## Eifie (Apr 25, 2015)

*Round Ten*​
*TruetoCheese* (1/2 left)

*Frog*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: Anticipation
*Health*: 75%
*Energy*: 60%
*Status*: Feeling REALLY foolish.

*JackPK* (1/2 left)

*Sheena* 
*Ability*: Torrent
*Health*: 51%
*Energy*: 87%
*Status*: Feeling kind of foolish. Poisoned (1% damage/action). _+1 Attack, -1 Speed_.

------------------------------​


Spoiler: good version



SHEENA GLANCES FRANTICALLY AROUND THE FUCKING ROOF AS FROG TAPS A FOOT IMPATIENTLY. NO MATERIAL TO BE FOUND. WHAT'S SHE SUPPOSED TO _DO_? SHE'S GOT A SUBSTITUTE TO MAKE!

FROG HEAVES AN EXASPERATED SIGH AND BEGINS TO PROWL ACROSS THE FUCKING ROOF, FRONT TEETH GLOWING A DAZZLING WHITE AGAIN, AND IT'S DECIDEDLY NOT BECAUSE OF HIS YEARS OF TRAINING AS A COLGATE MODEL. FINALLY, A BRILLIANT IDEA OCCURS TO FROG #1.

"ONE MINUTE," SHE SAYS BRIGHTLY, AND PROMPTLY DISAPPEARS OVER THE SIDE OF THE FUCKING ROOF.

FROG ROLLS HIS EYES AND WAITS.

A FEW SECONDS LATER FROG #1 REAPPEARS ON THE EDGE OF THE FUCKING ROOF, SMALL BABY FROM THE ORANGE CARRIAGE IN TOW. SHE POSITIONS HERSELF ACROSS FROM FROG #2 ON THE FUCKING ROOF AND HOLDS THE BABY IN FRONT OF HER IN A DEFENSIVE POSITION. "COME AT ME BRO"

THE HARRIED BABYSITTER CHOOSES THAT MOMENT TO CLIMB OVER THE EDGE OF THE FUCKING ROOF (SOMEHOW) AND SWIPE THE BABY AWAY FROM THE HAPLESS FROG, JUST AS FROG #2 IS ABOUT TO CHOMP DOWN ON IT. DOESN'T SHEENA KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T USE A FREAKING _CHILD_ AS A SHIELD?! JEEZ, SHE CAN'T LET ANYONE FIND OUT ABOUT THIS, OR SHE WON'T GET PAID! AS THE BABYSITTER STOMPS BACK DOWN INTO HER CARRIAGE (SOMEHOW), FROG SHRUGS AND SINKS HIS TEETH INTO SHEENA'S SIDE INSTEAD. SHEENA CRIES OUT IN HORRIFIED PAIN AS HE OPENS UP A HUGE WOUND IN HER SKIN AND SORELY MISSES THAT DEFENSELESS BABY.

WELL, THE LEAST SHE CAN DO IS TRIP THAT FROG BOY UP AND MAKE HIM LOOK ALMOST AS STUPID AS HER. PULLING UP HUGE AMOUNTS OF LIQUID FROM HER NEVER-ENDING INTERNAL SUPPLY, SHEENA LETS A TORRENT OF WATER GUSH FORTH FROM HER MOUTH, THIS TIME LIFTING FROG UP OFF THE GROUND AND KNOCKING HIM BACKWARD INTO HIS TRAINER'S SHIRT. (TRUETOCHEESE MUTTERS A FEW CURSES UNDER HIS BREATH AS HE HELPS FROG RIGHT HIMSELF YET AGAIN, AND THEN ATTEMPTS TO WIPE HIS SOAKED SHIRT ON THE EVEN-MORE-SOAKED CROAGUNK TO NO AVAIL.) BUT FROG #2 IS STILL A MASTER OF SUCH HAZARDOUS, SLIPPERY ENVIRONMENTS! AFTER ALL, HE LEARNED HOW TO BATTLE FROM HIS JEDI MASTER ON THE SLIPPERY WET ROOF OF A SPEEDING TRAIN! SO IT IS NO TROUBLE FOR HIM TO AMBLE FORWARD AND CASUALLY SLIDE FEET-FIRST INTO FROG #1'S UNDERSIDE TO TRIP HER AGAIN. IT IS, OF COURSE, ENTIRELY BY DESIGN THAT THEY GO SLIDING OFF THE ROOF IN A TANGLED HEAP TO LAND WITH A _CRASH_ ON THE FLOOR OF THE GREEN CAR ADJACENT, WHICH SOMEHOW OPENED UP TO WELCOME THEM. AND WHEN A STRANGE PLASTIC PLANT ATTACHES ITSELF TO HIM AND JUST WON'T LET GO... THAT WAS COMPLETELY PLANNED. OBVIOUSLY.





Spoiler: easy on the eyes version



Sheena glances frantically around the fucking ROOF as Frog taps a foot impatiently. No material to be found. What's she supposed to _do_? She's got a Substitute to make!

Frog heaves an exasperated sigh and begins to prowl across the fucking ROOF, front teeth glowing a dazzling white again, and it's decidedly not because of his years of training as a Colgate model. Finally, a brilliant idea occurs to Frog #1.

"One minute," she says brightly, and promptly disappears over the side of the fucking ROOF.

Frog rolls his eyes and waits.

A few seconds later Frog #1 reappears on the edge of the fucking ROOF, small baby from the orange carriage in tow. She positions herself across from Frog #2 on the fucking ROOF and holds the baby in front of her in a defensive position. "COME AT ME BRO"

The harried babysitter chooses that moment to climb over the edge of the fucking ROOF (somehow) and swipe the baby away from the hapless frog, just as Frog #2 is about to chomp down on it. Doesn't Sheena know that you can't use a freaking _child_ as a shield?! Jeez, she can't let anyone find out about this, or she won't get paid! As the babysitter stomps back down into her carriage (somehow), Frog shrugs and sinks his teeth into Sheena's side instead. Sheena cries out in horrified pain as he opens up a huge wound in her skin and sorely misses that defenseless baby.

Well, the least she can do is trip that frog boy up and make him look almost as stupid as her. Pulling up huge amounts of liquid from her never-ending internal supply, Sheena lets a torrent of water gush forth from her mouth, this time lifting Frog up off the ground and knocking him backward into his trainer's shirt. (TruetoCheese mutters a few curses under his breath as he helps Frog right himself yet again, and then attempts to wipe his soaked shirt on the even-more-soaked Croagunk to no avail.) But Frog #2 is still a master of such hazardous, slippery environments! After all, he learned how to battle from his Jedi master on the slippery wet roof of a speeding train! So it is no trouble for him to amble forward and casually slide feet-first into Frog #1's underside to trip her again. It is, of course, entirely by design that they go sliding off the roof in a tangled heap to land with a _crash_ on the floor of the green car adjacent, which somehow opened up to welcome them. And when a strange plastic plant attaches itself to him and just won't let go... that was completely planned. Obviously.



------------------------------​
*TruetoCheese* (1/2 left)

*Frog*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: Anticipation
*Health*: 52%
*Energy*: 36%
*Status*: Casually brushing himself off. That was totally on purpose. Cannot use special moves (1 more round).
*Used*: Super Fang ~ Low Sweep

*JackPK* (1/2 left)

*Sheena* 
*Ability*: Torrent
*Health*: 21% (capped)
*Energy*: 81%
*Status*: A little hurt inside. Nobody would think twice about using _her_ as a shield... Torrent activated. Poisoned (1% damage/action). _+1 Attack, -2 Speed_.
*Used*: nothing ~ Hydro Pump

*Arena Status*

 The battlers are in the green car. There are fake plants and shit. One is stuck to Frog #2.

*Damage and Energy*


 Frog's Health: 75% - 13% (Hydro Pump) - 10% (FALL OFF THE FUCKING ROOF) = 52%
 Frog's Energy: 60% - 20% (Super Fang) - 4% (Low Sweep) = 36%
 Sheena's Health: 51% - 26% (Super Fang) - 1% (poison) - 8% (Low Sweep) - 1% (poison) - 10% (FALL OFF THE FUCKING ROOF) = 21% (capped)
 Sheena's Energy: 87% - 6% (Hydro Pump) = 81%

*Notes*

 Substitute is banned in this battle. I forgot, too.
 I rolled for whether or not Low Sweep would succeed since the ROOF was all slippery. It did.
 The battlers just barely fell off the fucking ROOF. They are now in the green room. Frog (#2) has a Sun-Flower attached to him and cannot use special moves this round unless he takes an action to destroy it.
 Frog is now faster than Sheena (50 > 41).
 *JackPK* commands first.


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## JackPK (Apr 25, 2015)

shit shit shit

OK, Sheena, your priority this round is to not get KO'ed. He's faster than you now, so this sucks.

Your default commands are to use Acrobatics until it hits and damages him successfully, then Power-Up Punch thereafter. Wait for him to move; I don't care if you wait-stall each other so long that you both lose an action. Just wait to see what he's doing first. Don't let him wait and move after you, even for a low-priority attack.

Replace that with Protect if he's commanded to use Brick Break, Bulldoze, Cross Chop, Drain Punch, Dynamic Punch, Foul Play, Gunk Shot, Headbutt, Ice Punch, Poison Jab, Retaliate, Rock Climb, Rock Slide, Secret Power, Strength, Sucker Punch, Thunder Punch, Venoshock, X-Scissor... basically, anything powerful. If that list is too long for you to remember, just remember to Protect if he uses anything that looks powerful.

Don't Protect twice in a row, though.

Cross your fingers so hard if he uses something that might mess this up and get us KO'ed this round.

*wait and Acrobatics/Protect ~ wait and Acrobatics/wait and Power-Up Punch/Protect x2*


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## Eifie (Apr 25, 2015)

uggggh next time I feel ill I'm gonna go straight to bed instead of trying to finish a reffing first

I forgot to put in Sheena's status that Torrent is now activated. If that changes anything, feel free to edit your commands.


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## JackPK (Apr 25, 2015)

No, I'll keep the same commands. But thanks for the heads-up, and I hope you get to feeling better!


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 25, 2015)

Alrighty Frog I think we have Sheena here. Charge up a *Drain Punch* walking towards her, given her commands she'll instantly protect. Good, redirect the punch into the Sun-Flower and destroy it. Then finish her with a *Sludge Wave and a Sludge Bomb*.

*Drain Punch ~ Sludge Wave ~ Sludge Bomb*


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## Eifie (Apr 25, 2015)

*Round Eleven*​
*TruetoCheese* (1/2 left)

*Frog*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: Anticipation
*Health*: 52%
*Energy*: 36%
*Status*: Casually brushing himself off. That was totally on purpose. Cannot use special moves (1 more round).

*JackPK* (1/2 left)

*Sheena* 
*Ability*: Torrent
*Health*: 21%
*Energy*: 81%
*Status*: A little hurt inside. Nobody would think twice about using _her_ as a shield... Torrent activated. Poisoned (1% damage/action). _+1 Attack, -2 Speed_.

------------------------------​
Safely back on the ground at last, Sheena surveys her opponent in perfectly unremarkable lowercase. There are no unsuspecting children to use as shields here, only unsuspecting fake plants, so she's really gotta get on her guard. So when Frog pulls back his fist and it starts swirling with bright green energy, she summons up a near-transparent shield to defend her without a second thought. She's safe in here! Yeah, that'll show that frog! God, frogs. Frogs are so dumb.

The smile is wiped right of her face when Frog twists around and slams his fist into the strange plant stubbornly clinging to his skin instead. The force of the blow dislodges the Sun-Flower and throws it back against the wall, where tendrils of that same green energy attempt to penetrate it to no avail. Sheena drops her shield in relief, feeling kind of silly... and then Frog takes advantage of this moment to freaking BELCH POISONOUS SLUDGE EVERYWHERE. AND I MEAN EVERYWHERE. THERE IS SLUDGE ON THE CEILING. THERE IS SLUDGE ON THE WALLS. THERE IS SLUDGE COVERING EVERY SINGLE FAKE PLANT UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE LIVING IN THIS ROOM. The plastic plants plastic wilt as the sludge eats into their plastic roots. The green walls are now purple. The two trainers and the ref are covered in the filthy stuff. And most importantly of all, so is Sheena, and she winces as the gross, slimy substance soaks into her skin and wreaks havoc upon her system from the inside. Just kidding, she doesn't just wince. She full-out screams, because it hurts.

When she's done screaming, though, she flips upside-down onto her head. Nope, the room looks just as gross this way. So she somersaults to right herself and then leaps and twirls oh-so-gracefully around Frog #2, each landing punctuated with a weird sucking sound as her feet sink into the sludge, punching and kicking at Frog #2 whenever she has a free arm or leg. For her finale, she attempts a freakin' pirouette, but alas, the slime on the ground is having none of it, so she trips. But she tripped Frog #2 harder, so it's okay except OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO DO IT AGAIN. SHEENA CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN. HER BEAUTIFUL SKIN CANNOT BE RUINED. So she inflates yet another protective bubble to repel the stream of toxic waste that Frog #2 spits at her, and the attack rebounds right off her bubble into her trainer's shirt, and all is good in the world because she's still unharmed. Nice.

------------------------------​
*TruetoCheese* (1/2 left)

*Frog*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: Anticipation
*Health*: 38%
*Energy*: 23%
*Status*: Sensing his victory is near.
*Used*: Drain Punch (destroy Sun-Flower) ~ Sludge Wave ~ Sludge Bomb

*JackPK* (1/2 left)

*Sheena* 
*Ability*: Torrent
*Health*: 7%
*Energy*: 65%
*Status*: Suddenly remembering that she's barely able to stand. Maybe she's not so unharmed. Torrent activated. Poisoned (1% damage/action). _+1 Attack, -2 Speed_.
*Used*: Protect ~ Acrobatics ~ Protect

*Arena Status*

 The battlers are in the green car. There are fake plants and shit. They're all covered in gross sludge, so they're fake-wilting.
 Actually, it's not the green car anymore, since the walls are covered in purple sludge.

*Damage and Energy*


 Frog's Health: 52% - 14% (Acrobatics) = 38%
 Frog's Energy: 36% - 4% (Drain Punch) - 4% (Sludge Wave) - 5% (Sludge Bomb) = 23%
 Sheena's Health: 21% - 1% (poison) - 11% (Sludge Wave) - 1% (poison) - 1% (poison) = 7%
 Sheena's Energy: 81% - 2% (Protect) - 7% (Acrobatics) - 7% (Protect) = 65%

*Notes*

 Frog's Drain Punch destroyed the Sun-Flower stuck to him, so he was able to use special attacks after that. He couldn't actually drain anything off it because it was made of plastic.
 Sludge Bomb is pretty powerful, so Sheena Protected against it. It was a crit, so Protect cost more energy.
 The battlers are still in the plant room.
 *TruetoCheese* commands first.


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 26, 2015)

Good thing Protect's use counter isn't reset over rounds. 

Alright Frog we've seen a couple of things in our time. Couple of really bad, really monstrous things. Mainly the roof. We've survived to tell the tale, just barely. But we've survived. And that made us dark and brooding and gloomy and like really cool. So we should *expulse the darkness* that consumes us. Wail your anguish into the sky. If that doesn't work just *punch *her. If you're somehow on the final action...hmm, the sludge smattering the walls might be wearing a bit thin. We should give it another *fresh coat*.

*Despondent Dark Pulse ~ Drain Punch ~ Sludge Wave*

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWLING IIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN


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## JackPK (Apr 26, 2015)

Darn, I was hoping to be able to chip off enough damage last round to, by some miracle, get him under the damage cap this round. I really didn't foresee you actually bothering to get rid of the Sun-Flower, TTC.

Good game. No way I can see to do much else but die with dignity.

Time to go out like a Cirque du Soleil performer.

*Acrobatics until you faint*


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## Eifie (Apr 26, 2015)

*Round Twelve*​
*TruetoCheese* (1/2 left)

*Frog*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: Anticipation
*Health*: 38%
*Energy*: 23%
*Status*: Sensing his victory is near.

*JackPK* (1/2 left)

*Sheena* 
*Ability*: Torrent
*Health*: 7%
*Energy*: 65%
*Status*: Suddenly remembering that she's barely able to stand. Maybe she's not so unharmed. Torrent activated. Poisoned (1% damage/action). _+1 Attack, -2 Speed_.

------------------------------​
Man, Frog's life sucks. He's spent the last few minutes battling on the roof of a fucking TRAIN. He's been belittled as Frog #2 when he is truly the number one frog. Nobody appreciates him. Not even his trainer, who got mad at him for getting slime on his shirt. It's not like Frog #2 can help his slimy heritage. He focuses on all these horrible events of his past, drawing power from them that manifests into a dull gray wave of darkness that spreads in all directions. Everything it touches fades to black and white, every plastic plant wilts a little more. Sheena is the last to fall, frozen in place for a second by the surge of negative energy that overwhelms her. She thought she was going to get pizza... and instead... there is only... darkness. Alas.

------------------------------​
*TruetoCheese* (1/2 left)

*Frog*  @ Lucky Egg
*Ability*: Anticipation
*Health*: 38%
*Energy*: 19%
*Status*: Victorious... I guess... :C
*Used*: Dark Pulse

*JackPK* (0/2 left)

*Sheena* 
*Ability*: Torrent
*Health*: 0%
*Energy*: 65%
*Status*: Knocked out!
*Used*: nothing

*Arena Status*

 There is pizza for Frog. He is too despondent to enjoy it. Jerome is disappointed.

*Damage and Energy*


 Frog's Health: 38%
 Frog's Energy: 23% - 4% (Dark Pulse) = 19%
 Sheena's Health: 7% - 8% (Dark Pulse) = 0%
 Sheena's Energy: 65%

*Final Notes*

 And that's a wrap! TruetoCheese wins and gets $16! Frog gets pizza and 3 exp. Nosada gets 3 exp.
 JackPK gets $8. Lancelot gets 2 exp and Sheena gets 1 exp.
 Good game, both of you! I hope my silly mistakes while reffing didn't have too much of a negative impact on the experience. Go forth and fill that battle slot.


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## JackPK (Apr 26, 2015)

Aww, that was a great game. Around the end of our Honedges' battle I really thought it was gonna come down more evenly matched than that, but you really pulled ahead of me with those Super Fangs. Nice job.

And thank you Eifie for such speedy and hilarious reffings!


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## TruetoCheese (Apr 26, 2015)

Great game, Jack! If there's one saving grace in Honedge's Shadow Claw of a movepool, it's Destiny Bond. Thank ye both kindly for writing Honedge smut with me. Pizza for everyone! If you don't mind slime toppings, that is.


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