# JackPK vs. Eifie



## Keldeo (May 12, 2015)

[size=+2]*JackPK vs Eifie*[/size]

Arena:


> *Format:* 1v1 single
> *Style:* Set
> *DQ:* One week
> *Damage cap:* 49%
> ...


*JackPK's blob of :)*

 *Gwen* the female Spinarak <Insomnia>

*Eifie's new blob of blob*

 *Cherry Coke* the male Swinub <Oblivious> @ Lucky Egg (Experience-based damage boost: 1 [5 exp])

Turn Order
-Eifie commands
-JackPK commands
-Everyone pets everything. No, this is not optional.


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## Eifie (May 12, 2015)

Oh, I was actually going to use my not-Swinub, if that's okay?


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## Eifie (May 13, 2015)

Awww, Cherry Coke, I so missed you in all your tiny piggly glory. You're never going to be a little baby again, so make this one count! I've got a Rare Candy with your name on it, so you're gonna be a huge ferocious wooly mammoth after this whether you win or not. Just have fun romping around in the grass, okay?

You know, you should really spread the cute around while you can. I want you to run up to Jack and offer your shaggy little head-body for petting. Perhaps you'll have to *Captivate* him... what? Of course this is how it works! Get in there and get yourself petted! Do not take no for an answer! I, meanwhile, will be frolicking about with... what on earth is that thing?! Okay, I will be *making faces at Gwen* from a safe distance.

Then, my adorable little Wheelbarrow Dumpling, I would like to see an adorable *Ancient Power*. If your opponent seems to have disappeared, perhaps for a short jog or behind a Protect or down some hidey hole, make yourself an adorable *little blob of Substitute*. If she has clones, though, *Earthquake* it up! Adorably, of course.

Finally, you know, by the third action you might be in petting withdrawal. So* I shall fulfill your petting needs*, and we shall be good friends. If Gwen's made it sunny, though, that's not going to be very good for your poor skin. You do have skin under that fur, you know! So whip up a *Sandstorm* instead.

I literally do not care one bit if fucking around the first round screws us over, pal. Go forth and be petted.

Wheelbarrow Dumpling: *force Jack to pet / Captivate Jack into petting ~ Ancient Power (adorably) / Substitute (10%, adorably) / Earthquake (adorably) ~ be petted / Sandstorm*
Eifie: *make faces at Gwen ~ CHEER MIMSY ON ~ aggressively pet Wheelbarrow Dumpling*


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## JackPK (May 13, 2015)

Huzzah for fucking around!

Gwen, c'mere and *gimme five!* Such encouragement is clearly the proper course of action at a battle's start! If Cherry Coke forces me to pet her, then go *make faces with Eifie*, I guess. Or try to cheat the system and do both, even though that's against the rules! I have enough hands to pet and high-five at once! _I will play with all the Pokemon_

After that, I bet that Ancient Power will hurt pretty bad, so take it like a champ and then *Giga Drain* to get back as much of the health you can manage.

Finally, wait until Cherry Coke's done being petted, then summon a *Sunny Day* so he has to waste an action next round if he wants to stop you from having access to low-energy Solarbeams. 

*High-five @ Jack / Make faces @ Eifie / both ~ Giga Drain ~ Sunny Day*


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## Eifie (May 13, 2015)

JackPK said:


> *High-five @ Jack*


I think they call that clapping...


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## Keldeo (May 15, 2015)

After teleporting with their Pokemon from ASB Central, the trainers gasp in awe as a perfectly gentle breeze ruffles the perfect blades of grass at the perfect angle so they catch the perfect amount of light from the perfect sun peeking out from behind the perfect clouds in the perfect sky. Amie Field is definitely perfect, and the perfect aura of purity, innocence, and love it projects is tuned to the perfect amount that Gwen and Cherry Coke are ready to battle to the faint in defense of their trainers' honor, or something. Whatever, sighs the referee, and she lowers her flags to get the battle started.

JackPK (O)

*Gwen* (f) <Insomnia>
Health: 100%
Energy: 100%
Affection: 1
Currently: Is that a dumpling? …Is it going to eat me???
Commands: High-five (Jack) / make faces (Eifie) ~ Giga Drain ~ Sunny Day
 JackPK: 100 health / 100 energy

Eifie (O)

*Cherry Coke* (m) <Oblivious> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 100%
Energy: 100%
Affection: 1
Currently: Is that an octopus? …Is it going to eat me???
Commands: pet (Jack) / Captivate Jack into petting ~ Ancient Power (adorably) / Substitute (10, adorably) / Earthquake (adorably) ~ pet (Eifie) / Sandstorm
 Eifie: 100 health / 100 energy

*Round 1*​
Gwen glowers at her opponent but then shrieks and skitters backwards at a sharp pain in one thigh. Did that dumpling do this?! Glancing around for the culprit, she finds that it is in fact a mere blade of grass! What did she ever do to it to deserve this horrible fate? Gwen scuttles over to her trainer for comfort, but finds that Cherry Coke has gotten there first and is currently making some rumbly snorting noises as her trainer (_her_ trainer!) strokes his thick fur. Booooo. Hissssssss. That's not fair! The Spinarak glares and scowls as menacingly as she can at Cherry Coke's trainer, who glares and scowls back.

Cherry Coke, having been petted to his limit, is forced to make way as Gwen barges through to present her trainer with a delicately topped orange puff in… hand? Leg? Either way, that was _really rude_, and she should be ashamed of herself. In fact, Cherry Coke feels like he should call up THE RIGHTEOUS FURY OF THE LAND BENEATH. The entire field begins to shake as ten or eleven stones, each possessed by a righteously furious spirit OF THE LAND BENEATH, erupt from the grassy patches they were concealed under this whole time. Cherry Coke squeals righteously as the stones fling themselves jagged-end first at Gwen, leaving several scrapes and gashes. Behind him, his trainer appears to be cheering on his teammate, even though she isn't here. Huh. Cherry Coke snaps back to the battle as Gwen latches onto his life-force in retaliation. A faint green aura appears around him, and great spheres of Cherry Coke's energy detach from his fur and zoom towards Gwen, spreading over and healing the various scratches and bruises on her skin.

Cherry Coke sniffles and pouts a little before running to his trainer as fast as his stubby little legs can carry him. It's time for his coup de grace of the round: a Fancy Mint Poke Puff! But then Gwen sticks out her tongue at him, since her trainer has a _better_ Poke Puff! Cherry Coke huffs and plops himself in front of Eifie, who obligingly begins to stroke his fur. But Gwen has her own master plan for this occasion. Gathering a great ball of fire above her head-spike, the Spinarak throws it into the sky and watches with satisfaction as it collides with the sun, which seems to swell in size and push away all obstructing clouds until the field is illuminated much more brightly than before. For his part, Cherry Coke shrinks a little and tries to hide in his trainer's shadow; he definitely didn't put enough sun lotion on for this situation...

JackPK (O)

*Gwen* (f) <Insomnia>
Health: 98%
Energy: 91%
Affection: 1
Currently: Basking in the sun. +1 Special Defense.
Used: Make faces (Eifie) ~ Giga Drain ~ Sunny Day
 JackPK: 100 health / 98 energy / Used: pet Cherry Coke

Eifie (O)

*Cherry Coke* (m) <Oblivious> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 87%
Energy: 100%
Affection: 3
Currently: Trying to find a spot of shade (adorably).
Used: Pet (Jack) (adorably) ~ Ancient Power (adorably) ~ Pet (Eifie) (adorably)
 Eifie: 100 health / 94 energy / Used: make faces with Gwen ~ CHEER MIMSY ON ~ aggressively pet Wheelbarrow Dumpling

Field Notes
-The sun is shining brightly (8 more actions).
-The ground is pockmarked with tiny holes where Cherry Coke's Ancient Power forced its way out.

Action Notes
-Sorry about this reffing's lateness. I'll try to get the next one up earlier.
-Gwen's naturally earned affection point led to her giving Jack a Deluxe Citrus Poke Puff. (I'm randomizing the Puff types.) Making faces with Eifie gave her +1 Special Defense.
-Cherry Coke's affection point from the beginning of the round made Ancient Power cost half the normal energy. His affection point from petting with Jack led to his giving Eifie a Fancy Mint Poke Puff. His affection point from petting with Eifie couldn't do anything, since Ancient Power was already executed.
-Gwen's Giga Drain was a critical hit.



Spoiler: calcs



Gwen: 100 - 8 (Ancient Power) + 6 (Giga Drain) = 98
100 - 4 (Giga Drain) - 5 (Sunny Day) = 91
0 + 1 (round 1) = 1
JackPK: 100 = 100
100 - 2 (pet with Cherry Coke) = 98
Cherry Coke: 100 - 13 (Giga Drain) = 87
100 + 10 (pet with Jack) - 2 (Ancient Power) + 10 (pet with Eifie) = 100
0 + 1 (round 1) + 1 (pet with Jack) + 1 (pet with Eifie) = 3
Eifie: 100 = 100
100 - 2 (make faces) - 2 (CHEER MIMSY ON) - 2 (aggressively pet Cherry Dumpling Coke Beer Loaf) = 94


JackPK commands next.


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## JackPK (May 15, 2015)

Hooray! First of all, Gwen, let's fatten you up like the cute little children's beauty pageant star you are!

After that, stick around for some AGGRESSIVELY ENTHUSIASTIC CUDDLES, and then Giga Drain his health again! Alternatively, on the last action, use a Solarbeam to get rid of any Substitute or clones that are up (sweep it around for clones). If you can't hit her for some reason that a Solarbeam can't solve (i.e. Protect, Dig, etc.), set up an Agility.

*Gwen: Eat PokéPuff ~ get petted ~ Giga Drain/Solarbeam/Agility

Jack: Feed the cute little fatty ~ SO MUCH PET ~ cheer on!*


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## Eifie (May 15, 2015)

Shouldn't Gwen have an extra affection point for making faces with me? Do I not count?! :C never mind I am a dumb (who does not count.)

Unfortunately, Wheelbarrow Dumpling, we're going to have to skip out on petting this round to catch up. :C Let's go with a *Hail* this time, and then a *small Substitute* should be enough to tank the weakened Solar Beam with a bit to spare, although it looks like Solar Beam is forced to take two actions in bad weather anyway. Finally, give her a *Blizzard*. That's what she gets for that crit!

*Hail ~ Substitute (10%) ~ Blizzard*

I'll edit in cuteness and flavor when I get home.


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## Keldeo (May 17, 2015)

JackPK (O)

*Gwen* (f) <Insomnia>
Health: 97%
Energy: 91%
Affection: 2
Currently: Basking in the sun. +1 Special Defense.
Commands: Eat Puff ~ get petted ~ Giga Drain / Solar Beam / Agility
 JackPK: 100 health / 98 energy

Eifie (O)

*Cherry Coke* (m) <Oblivious> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 87%
Energy: 100%
Affection: 4
Currently: Trying to find a spot of shade (adorably).
Commands: Hail (adorably) ~ Substitute (10) (adorably) ~ Blizzard (adorably)
 Eifie: 100 health / 94 energy / Used: make faces with Gwen ~ CHEER MIMSY ON ~ aggressively pet Wheelbarrow Dumpling

Field Notes
-The sun is shining brightly (8 more actions).
-The ground is pockmarked with tiny holes where Cherry Coke's Ancient Power forced its way out.

*Round 2*​
As the referee lowers her flags to begin the round, Gwen skitters towards her beckoning trainer, who offers her a familiar blob of orange. She gets to eat the puff she found? Delicately balancing the proffered Deluxe Citrus Poke Puff between her front legs, the Spinarak munches happily on the treat until it's reduced to a mere few crumbs that scatter on the wind, and her trainer wipes off the cream that she got all over her mandibles. Oops! 

Gwen giggles at her mistake as JackPK pets her back and legs, carefully avoiding the sharp spike on her head. And then… ooh, look, there's another Puff! Gwen feels a burst of pride as she hands the brown dessert over to her trainer, even though it's a little smaller than the one she just ate and has fewer decorations. It's even dark brown, to go with her opponent's fur! Reminded by this fact of the battle that's going on, Gwen looks over at said opponent, who appears to be performing an intricate ritual that involves dancing around, rearing up on his hind end, and howl-squealing to the sun. The Spinarak narrows her eyes skeptically; what, does he think he's a Poochyena or something? 

Soon, the ball of fire poofs ominously out of existence, and the perfect clouds turn an ominous shade of gray. With one final, ominous squeal, Cherry Coke sends up an ominous-looking pale blue ball of glacial energy that disappears into the now ominously dark clouds. Soon, small chunks of ice begin to fall, but while Gwen is forced to scamper to and fro in an attempt to avoid them, Cherry Coke simply sits there as the ice bounces harmlessly against his protective fur coat. Now _this_ is the kind of weather he likes.

But there's no time to waste. Gathering the hunks nearest to him with practiced nudges of his snout, Cherry Coke forms a Swinub-sized mound of hailstones between himself and Gwen, who continues to run around in panic. Cherry Coke focuses a small strand of life-force outwards and smiles as the ribbon of energy wraps around his ice pile, binding to each chunk and filling in the gaps to form a transparent Swinub replica that plants itself firmly between its creator and his opponent. The Swinub pats his glassy doll/lookalike, admiring his solid work—but his trainer doesn't cheer him on. Whatever could be wrong?

Well, whatever. Now that he's got some defense against that octopus's attacks… With a wicked grin, Cherry Coke reinforces the wintry winds at his back, summoning shards of ice and orbs of energy for the air to carry and thoroughly buffet his opponent. Gwen shrieks and Cherry Coke laughs as blue flashes of energy and the hailstorm's icy sleet and sweeping gales bombard her. But though large sheets of snow scrape at the Spinarak's bruised skin, none of them stick, and Gwen stands firm and prepares to ready her next attack. Cherry Coke simply smirks: it's all going according to plan.

Seeing her opponent's lifelike creation, Gwen tries to pinpoint the sun's energy signature, but finds only slivers of solar energy left over from the rays' earlier intensity; it seems that Cherry Coke's hailstorm is blocking everything out. The Spinarak frowns and concentrates until her entire body glows a very faint green, the colors supplemented by strands of energy leaking out from between the thick clouds overhead, and a growing sphere of flickering Grass energy forms in front of her, ready to explode into the brilliant ray that the Solar Beam technique is renowned for. But before Gwen can unleash her attack, the referee steps in, flags in hand: the round has ended, and she'll have to wait until next time. The Spinarak settles for glowering at her opponent as hailstones pound down; oh, how she'll make him pay...

JackPK (O)

*Gwen* (f) <Insomnia>
Health: 81%
Energy: 99%
Affection: 5
Currently: Miffed. +1 Special Defense. Solar Beam charged.
Used: Eat Puff ~ Pet (Jack) ~ Solar Beam (charge)
 JackPK: 100 health / 92 energy / Used: Feed the cute little fatty (FTCLF) ~ So Much Pet (SMP) ~ CHEER GWEN ON (CGO)

Eifie (O)

*Cherry Coke* (m) <Oblivious> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 77%
Energy: 85%
Affection: 4
Currently: Reveling in the hail (adorably). Has a substitute with 10% health.
Used: Hail (adorably) ~ Substitute (10) (adorably) ~ Blizzard (adorably)
 Eifie: 100 health / 94 energy / Used: nothing :C

Field Notes
-Hail is pounding down (6 more actions).
-The ground is pockmarked with tiny holes where Cherry Coke's Ancient Power forced its way out.

Action Notes
-Gwen will be forced to use Solar Beam on the first action next round. She can still combine it with something, though.
-I forgot about Cherry Coke's experience boost bonus thing last round, so Gwen loses 1% health.
-Cherry Coke's affection from beginning the round halved Blizzard's energy cost. Gwen's affection points from starting the round and eating the Poke Puff each halved Solar Beam (charge)'s energy cost, and her petting point led her to give Jack a Basic Mocha Poke Puff.
-Mucked around a bit with the action order for narrative purposes, but everything still happened the way it should have for the numbers.



Spoiler: calcs



Gwen: 97 - 1 (hail) - 1 (hail) - 13 (Blizzard [adorably]) - 1 (hail) = 81
91 + 10 (pet with Jack) - 1 (Solar Beam [charge]) = 99
1 + 1 (round 2) + 2 (eat puff) + 1 (pet) = 5
JackPK: 100 = 100
98 - 2 (FTCLF) - 2 (SMP) - 2 (CGO) = 92
Cherry Coke: 87 - 10 (Substitute) = 77
100 - 4 (Hail) - 5 (Substitute) - 6 (Blizzard) = 85
3 + 1 (round 2) = 4


Eifie commands next.


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## Eifie (May 17, 2015)

I'm so sorry Cherry Coke, I was so tired and I kept forgetting :C Well done on remembering to do everything adorably, though your Substitute doesn't seem to be specified as adorable...!

Okay, let's start with an *Avalanche* since Gwen's going to be forced to damage you (or rather, your Substitute) the first action. Vent your adorable rage! I will provide some rocks for you! (Since Avalanche still doubles its power when a Substitute is hit in-game, I'm going to assume it does here as well; if MF or someone goes and answers no in the question box, can you just... replace that with *Ice Beam*? I don't feel like waiting to post.)

Then if your Subsitute's still around, let's *pick berries*! If somehow Gwen found something to combine with Solar Beam or whatever and your poor adorable Substitute is now just a poor adorable pile of rubble, we must vent our rage with a *Blizzard*! But if you can't hit with Blizzard (still attack if there are clones or a sub though) or it's somehow no longer hailing, just scatter some *Stealth Rock*s around her.

Finally, if we picked berries last action and it's still hailing, unleash your adorable *Blizzard* now! Otherwise go with *Ancient Power* if you can hit her with it (do attack if there's a Substitute, don't attack if there are clones), and if you can't then use *Stealth Rock*. Adorably. Meanwhile, I will also be adorable!

Wheelbarrow Dumpling: *Avalanche (adorably) / Ice Beam (adorably) ~ pick berries (adorably) / Blizzard (adorably) / Stealth Rock (adorably) ~ Blizzard (adorably) / Ancient Power (adorably) / Stealth Rock (adorable)*

Eifie: *Rock Throw ~ pick berries / CHEER MIMSY ON, WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE ISN'T HERE ~ Splash (adorably)*


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## JackPK (May 17, 2015)

Okay, Gwen! Uh, unfortunately, we actually do want to get hit by that super-effective Ancient Power, because even with the multiplier I'm pretty sure it'll be better than a Blizzard. So here's what we'll do. First we'll turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea...

Your Solar Beam is charged up and ready to go, but we don't want to break that Substitute. It shouldn't be enough in this hailstorm, but just in case you crit or something, just... try to sweep the beam away from both of them midway through the hit or something.

Ideally, then, they'll be picking berries, which gives us plenty of time to make it a Sunny Day again! Feel the burn! (But make sure to wait for them to start picking berries, so Cherry Coke doesn't set up a Stealth Rock instead.) And then that gives us plenty of time to Giga Drain the last dregs out of her Substitute!

*Solar Beam @ Substitute/@off into the distance... ~ Sunny Day ~ Giga Drain*


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## Keldeo (May 23, 2015)

JackPK (O)

*Gwen* (f) <Insomnia>
Health: 81%
Energy: 99%
Affection: 5
Currently: Miffed. +1 Special Defense. Solar Beam charged.
Commands: Solar Beam ~ Sunny Day ~ Giga Drain
 JackPK: 100 health / 92 energy

Eifie (O)

*Cherry Coke* (m) <Oblivious> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 77%
Energy: 85%
Affection: 4
Commands: Reveling in the hail (adorably). Has a substitute with 10% health.
Commands: Avalanche (adorably) / Ice Beam (adorably) ~ pick berries (adorably) / Blizzard (adorably) / Stealth Rock (adorably) ~ Blizzard (adorably) / Ancient Power (adorably) / Stealth Rock (adorably)
 Eifie: 100 health / 94 energy

Field Notes
-Hail is pounding down (6 more actions).
-The ground is pockmarked with tiny holes.

*Round 3*​
Gwen is more antsy than normal in the break between rounds; she shudders with the Grass energy she's built up and tries to smile at her trainer when he gives her instructions to _utterly decimate that block of ice_. …Oh, she has to hold back, never mind. The battlers stare at each other, each waiting for the other's move—one moment, Gwen's hopping up and down in place, practically sparkling with green energy, eyes trained on Cherry Coke. The next, a line of hard light shoots straight towards the Swinub's icy counterpart across the field, looking more like a malfunctioning bug-zapper than a proper beam. 

The trainers are forced to shield their eyes from the searing light, which reflects off the falling ice like some twisted kaleidoscope. The hailstones unlucky enough to be directly in the beam's path are completely pulverized, disintegrating into ice water that spatters the grass beneath; Gwen herself is pushed a few inches backwards by the force of the attack. But true to its nature, Cherry Coke's substitute jumps in front of its creator and stays there even as the brilliant beam seeps into its cracks, breaking apart the bonds of life energy that hold it together. Squinting, Gwen sees that the doll is on its last legs and redirects the beam to a spot in the distance until her store of light finally runs dry. 

Cherry Coke bristles in indignation as he examines his now-headless substitute. How dare that octopus! Eifie tosses him a few of her gathered hailstones (The New Snowball.™ Kids, don't try this at home.) and cackles mercilessly, and the Swinub flings them at his opponent in his all-encompassing adorability, cackling mercilessly with his trainer as the ice digs into Gwen's sides and legs. In fact, they cackle so mercilessly that a berry tree sprouts nearby in retaliation. What a coincidence! Cherry Coke picks a few choice berries and hands them to his trainer, but soon the berries pop up so quickly that he just can't keep up, and the tree sags with the weight of a thousand berries. 

What a travesty! Such indignities to the beauty of nature! Gwen shrieks mentally. Gosh darn ding golly, all right. With a burst of fire, the Spinarak clears away the frowny gray clouds overhead, replacing them with cheerful white ones and a perfect sun. But that was Cherry Coke's hail! The Swinub throws some glowing bluish purple rocks at Gwen to express his adorable fury, this time sourced sustainably from the ground. But that's just too much adorability for the Spinarak to take. She decides to decisively finish her opponent's ice creation, the last remnant of the Hail Era (as she will henceforth refer to that dreadful period), once and for all. Rearing up onto her hind legs, Gwen saps all the energy from the substitute to replenish her own wounds but finds the resulting healing aura woefully insufficient to cover up the various bangs and scrapes she's received over the course of the round. For his part, Cherry Coke stares in horror as his substitute, reduced to mere chunks of ice now that his life energy has been removed, begins to melt under the harsh sun…

And then Eifie uses omega flop hole, and everything becomes Diggersby.

JackPK (O)

*Gwen* (f) <Insomnia>
Health: 57%
Energy: 87%
Affection: 6
Currently: Glancing worriedly at the berry tree. +1 Special Defense, +1 Super Evasion (fades when affection = 10).
Used: Solar Beam ~ Sunny Day ~ Giga Drain
 JackPK @Basic Mocha Puff: 100 health / 92 energy

Eifie (O)

*Cherry Coke* (m) <Oblivious> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 77%
Energy: 79%
Affection: 5
Currently: Building an adorable headstone for his adorable substitute. +1 Accuracy.
Used: Avalanche (adorably) ~ pick berries (adorably) ~ Ancient Power (adorably)
 Eifie @Fancy Mint Puff: 100 health / -8913 energy / Used: Rock Throw (adorably) ~ pick berries (adorably) ~ omega flop hole (adorably)

Field Notes
-The Diggersby is shining brightly (7 more actions).
-The ground is pockmarked with tiny holes. Some Diggersby have fallen into them and started to melt under the intense sunlight.
-A large, lopsided triangle of Diggersby has been withered and sheared away by Gwen's Solar Beam.
-A Diggersby tree nearby has grown a whole lot of berries. New kinds pop up every few seconds.

Action Notes
-Picking berries raised Cherry Coke's accuracy. His affection from the beginning of the round halved Avalanche's energy cost, while Gwen's affection from the beginning gave her the special +1 evasion.
-I gave Solar Beam a .75x modifier since Gwen was told to aim it away partway through.



Spoiler: calcs



Gwen: 81 - 16 (Avalanche) - 1 (hail) - 9 (Ancient Power) + 2 (Giga Drain) = 57
99 - 3 (Solar Beam) - 5 (Sunny Day) - 4 (Giga Drain) = 87
5 + 1 (round 3) = 6
Cherry Coke: 77 = 77
85 - 3 (Avalanche) - 3 (Ancient Power) = 79
4 + 1 (round 3) = 5
Cherry Coke's substitute: 10 - 6 (Solar Beam) - 4 (Giga Drain) = *0*
Eifie: 100
94 - 3 (Rock Throw) - 3 (pick berries) - 9001 (omega flop hole) = -8913


JackPK commands next.


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## Eifie (May 23, 2015)

what the fuck is this crap


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## JackPK (May 23, 2015)

lolwut

As long as the sun is still shining, rapid-fire *Solar Beams*! If the sun isn't shining any more, *Giga Drain*! If you've already offensively attacked twice OR if your foe is protecting/otherwise unhittable, come here and *eat a PokéPuff*, unless you've already done that, in which case Giga Drain!

*Solar Beam/Giga Drain/eat Basic Mocha Puff x3*

or, if y'all are ACTUALLY diggersby, wait and see what she's doing, then use Brick Break if she's attacking offensively or preparing Focus Punch, or use Focus Punch otherwise

Brick Break/Focus Punch x3


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## Eifie (May 23, 2015)

WOW YOU ARE NO LONGER EVEN THE TINIEST BIT ADORABLE. I AM SO INFURIATED THAT I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU GO ALL-OUT INSTEAD OF APPLYING EVEN THE TINIEST BIT OF STRATEGY.

*Avalanche (hideously) ~ Avalanche (hideously) ~ Icicle Spear (hideously)*

Eifie: *existential crisis + flail about + cry a lot*


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## Keldeo (May 23, 2015)

JackPK (O)

*Gwen* (f) <Insomnia>
Health: 57%
Energy: 87%
Affection: 6
Currently: Glancing worriedly at the berry tree. +1 Special Defense, +1 Super Evasion (fades when affection = 10).
Commands: Solar Beam / Giga Drain / eat Basic Mocha Puff x3
 JackPK @Basic Mocha Puff: 100 health / 92 energy

Eifie (O)

*Cherry Coke* (m) <Oblivious> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 77%
Energy: 79%
Affection: 5
Currently: Building an adorable headstone for his adorable substitute. +1 Accuracy.
Used: Avalanche (adorably) ~ pick berries (adorably) ~ Ancient Power (adorably)
 Eifie @Fancy Mint Puff: 100 health / -8913 energy / Used: Rock Throw (adorably) ~ pick berries (adorably) ~ omega flop hole (adorably)

Field Notes
-The sun is shining brightly (7 more actions).
-The ground is pockmarked with tiny holes. Some hailstones have fallen into them and started to melt under the intense sunlight.
-A large, lopsided triangle of grass has been withered and sheared away by Gwen's Solar Beam.
-A berry tree nearby has grown a whole lot of berries. New kinds pop up every few seconds.

*Round 4*​
Cherry Coke has barely begun to scoop out a suitable hole to bury the watery remains of his wonderful ice sculpture before Gwen soaks up glowing green energy from the intensified sun above them to fire a thick streak of energy at him. The Swinub tries to move out of the path of the beam but doesn't make it, and the sparkling Grass energy burns like fire at his adorable, furry exterior. Why is his trainer saying that he is hideous? He doesn't understand. Does… does she think he isn't cute any more?! Glowing a bluish off-white in preparation for his next attack, Cherry Coke looks desperately at Eifie for some icy rocks, but finds only an utterance of "what the fuck is this crap". With a sympathetic snort, he tosses a barrage of sleet at Gwen, who shrieks and tries to bat the ice away but only succeeds in gashing one leg on a particularly jagged stone.

Cherry Coke looks worriedly at the remaining watery remains of his wonderful ice sculpture. Might they evaporate in this heat? But his train of thought is broken by another brilliant blast of solar energy from Gwen, who is glowing green and soaking up the sun's rays. Again. The thick streak of sparkling Grass energy burns his adorable, furry exterior (again), but the attack doesn't strike the weak point it did before and hurts much less. Glowing a bluish off-white in preparation for his next attack, Cherry Coke decides there's only one thing to do here, and that's to send the herd of miniature ice Swinubs he's been preparing for this exact occasion crashing down on the Spinarak's head while he glows a bluish off-white in preparation for his next attack, which he does. Again. But then Gwen breaks the pattern by scurrying over to her trainer and looking expectantly up at him. Smiling, JackPK hands her the chocolate-coffee dessert she's been waiting for this whole time, and the Spinarak chomps down eagerly for a sorely-needed caffeine rush. Those chunks of ice hurt more than you'd expect, okay?

But then, Cherry Coke brings out the Adorable Cannon. Loading it with salvos of sharpened ice-sticks, the Swinub squeals and rears up onto his behind, firing even more chunks of ice at the defenseless Gwen. She's barely recovered from the first barrage, which stings at her dirtied, gashed skin, before the second one hits her, and then the third, and then—then, it's over. Cherry Coke is snorting in distress: the Adorable Cannon seems to be malfunctioning. Gwen pumps one tiny leg to the gods of technical difficulties as she carries the Deluxe Citrus Poke Puff that coincidentally materialized in front of her to her trainer, who is playing evolution music for some reason. And as the referee lowers her flags to end the round, Cherry Coke finally gets a chance to bury the few drops of water left. Indeed, the stage is set for the ultimate showdown that will surely occur next round...

JackPK (O)

*Gwen* (f) <Insomnia>
Health: 15%
Energy: 73%
Affection: 9
Currently: Thinking of all the different ways to sabotage the Adorable Cannon for next round. +1 Special Defense, +3 Super Evasion (1 fades when affection = 10, 1 fades at 11, 1 fades at 12).
Used: Solar Beam ~ Solar Beam ~ Eat Basic Mocha Puff
 JackPK @Deluxe Citrus Puff: 100 health / 90 energy / Used: Diggersby evolved ~ into Pumpkaboo! ~ (evolution music)

Eifie (O)

*Cherry Coke* (m) <Oblivious> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 35%
Energy: 70%
Affection: 6
Currently: Thinking of all the different ways to salvage the Adorable Cannon for next round. +1 Accuracy.
Used: Avalanche (adorably) ~ Avalanche (adorably) ~ Icicle Spear (adorably)
 Eifie @Fancy Mint Puff: 100 health / -8913 energy / Used: Diggersby evolved ~ into Espeon! ~ (evolution music)

Field Notes
-The sun is shining brightly (4 more actions).
-The ground is pockmarked with some small and large holes. Some hailstones have fallen into them and started to melt under the intense sunlight.
-A large, lopsided triangle of grass has been withered and sheared away by Gwen's Solar Beam.
-A berry tree nearby has grown a whole lot of berries. New kinds pop up every few seconds.

Action Notes
-Gwen's affection from the beginning of the round gave her another boost in Super Evasion. Her first point from eating the Basic Mocha Puff gave her _another_ boost in Super Evasion, and the second point from the Puff gave Jack a Deluxe Citrus Poke Puff. Cherry Coke's affection from the beginning of the round quartered his second Avalanche's energy cost.
-Icicle Spear hit 3 times.
-Gwen's first Solar Beam was a critical hit.



Spoiler: calcs



Gwen: 57 - 16 (Avalanche) - 16 (Avalanche) - 10 (Icicle Spear) = 15
87 - 7 (Solar Beam) - 7 (Solar Beam) = 73
6 + 1 (round 4) + 2 (Basic Mocha Puff) = 9
Cherry Coke: 77 - 24 (Solar Beam) - 18 (Solar Beam) = 35
79 - 5 (Avalanche) - 1 (Avalanche) - 3 (Icicle Spear) = 70
5 + 1 (round 4) = 6


Eifie commands next.


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## Eifie (May 23, 2015)

You can do it, Wheelbarrow Dumpling! Unfortunately that timely crit means we're going to have to be careful here. Go for an *Earthquake* straight off. Please don't miss, man. If she's Protecting, though, come here and *eat your Poké Puff*.

Next, if you missed, we're going to have to go for broke with a *Strength + Double-Edge* combo (we just need a liiiiittle more power behind that Double-Edge!), and if you miss again, I guess it was just not meant to be. Otherwise, try another *Earthquake*, but if it's disabled or you can't use it for some other reason go for the *Adorable Cannon*! Same plan for the third action, I guess (minus the combo). And on the third action if you can't attack or hit then *come here and be petted*.

Wheelbarrow Dumpling: *Earthquake / eat Poké Puff ~ Strength + Double-Edge / Earthquake / Icicle Spear ~ Earthquake / Icicle Spear / petpetpet*

Eifie: *bite fingernails ~ CHEW OFF FINGERNAILS ~ petpetpet?*


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## JackPK (May 24, 2015)

*JackPK: also chew fingernails x3*

Okay, Gwen, we're gonna try something really weird and I don't know if it'll work, but stay with me. I want you to *Bounce up* so that you're directly vertically above Cherry Coke. Then, instead of completing the attack at her, I want you to burn as much energy as you need to fire a constant *Solar Beam* straight down at her from above for the rest of the round, and hopefully the force of the beam will propel you back up just like how shooting a gun kicks a person backward, so you can stay in the air for longer. Or like Mario firing the water jets in Super Mario Sunshine to stay aloft. That makes sense, right? I haven't taken a physics class in like six years...

If that's such a stupid plan that even a spider can see through it, do a two-turn Bounce followed by a Solar Beam, and hope really hard that those Earthquakes get caught by your super-evasion.

*Bounce up ~ Solar BEEEEEEEEE/Bounce down ~ AAAAAAAAAM/Solar Beam*


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## Eifie (May 24, 2015)

LOL OOPS SPINARAK LEARNS BOUNCE. SHIT.


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## Keldeo (May 24, 2015)

JackPK (O)

*Gwen* (f) <Insomnia>
Health: 15%
Energy: 73%
Affection: 9
Currently: Thinking of all the different ways to sabotage the Adorable Cannon for next round. +1 Special Defense, +3 Super Evasion (1 fades when affection = 10, 1 fades at 11, 1 fades at 12).
Used: Solar Beam ~ Solar Beam ~ Eat Basic Mocha Puff
 JackPK @Deluxe Citrus Puff: 100 health / 90 energy

Eifie (O)

*Cherry Coke* (m) <Oblivious> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 35%
Energy: 70%
Affection: 6
Currently: Thinking of all the different ways to salvage the Adorable Cannon for next round. +1 Accuracy.
Used: Avalanche (adorably) ~ Avalanche (adorably) ~ Icicle Spear (adorably)
 Eifie @Fancy Mint Puff: 100 health / -8913 energy

Field Notes
-The sun is shining brightly (4 more actions).
-The ground is pockmarked with some small and large holes. Some hailstones have fallen into them and started to melt under the intense sunlight.
-A large, lopsided triangle of grass has been withered and sheared away by Gwen's Solar Beam.
-A berry tree nearby has grown a whole lot of berries. New kinds pop up every few seconds.

*Round 5*​
Cherry Coke glances towards his trainer, who is busy aggressively chewing her fingernails. The Adorable Cannon just isn't working! This sucks, and it's making him mad. In fact, he's so mad that he's going to jump up and down aggressively on top of it into the ground to make an earthquake. The Swinub hops onto the Adorable Cannon and jumps up and down aggressively on top of it, driving the tip into the ground. A part on the front that's curvy emits a loud crack and breaks off, falling into a fissure in the ground where it will surely be lost forever. Oh, dear… Blissfully ignorant of the freakin' earthquake pounding the living daylights out of everyone else on the field, Cherry Coke sighs and hopes that part wasn't anything vital.

Across the field, Gwen gives a long, high-pitched squeak as she bounces along the uncontrollably shaking ground, bits of jagged rock and blades of grass occasionally piercing her underside. The Spinarak shudders as the aftershocks come tumbling in, cracking the field around her; yeah, she's not sticking around for another one of those. Forcing Flying energy into her feet, Gwen leaps into the air, rocketing into the sky until her opponent and their trainers are no more than colored dots in an expanse of green. But then she starts to fall, which wasn't part of the plan at all. The Spinarak flails desperately around; the ground beneath seems to be rushing towards her, and she barely remembers to move towards Cherry Coke. 

Below, the Swinub is busy at work on the Adorable Cannon—these malfunctions have got to be the work of that darned spoctopus (spider octopus), he thinks—and doesn't notice Gwen approaching ominously above him like some sort of UFO until it's nearly too late. Squealing righteously, he fires three volleys of jagged icicles at the falling Spinarak, but their trajectories are ruined by the winds and Gwen's height and they all fall just short. 

For her part, Gwen shrieks silently, breath ripped out of her by the speed of her fall, and tries to tell the aura of Flying energy around her to maybe ease up a little, control her descent? But it doesn't really listen, and after the impact Gwen just lies on Cherry Coke's back and tries to remember whether cartoon physics says she should faint now or not. When it doesn't, and Cherry Coke seems occupied trying to make himself move, the Spinarak soaks up sparkling energy from the still-shining sun overhead and fires a close-range beam of energy at him. Both Pokemon are breathing heavily, dazed from the assault they had to endure—sand and tiny rocks still embedded in her skin, Gwen is scratched, scraped, and bruised all over, while Cherry Coke isn't doing much better, and his muscles are cramping in uncomfortable ways from his opponent's collision with him too… And as the referee lowers her flags, the trainers finally stop chewing off their fingernails. 

JackPK (O)

*Gwen* (f) <Insomnia>
Health: 2%
Energy: 61%
Affection: 10
Currently: Barely hanging on. +1 Special Defense, +3 Super Evasion (1 fades at 11, 1 fades at 12, 1 fades at 14).
Used: Bounce (up) ~ Bounce (down) ~ Solar Beam
 JackPK @Deluxe Citrus Puff: 92 health / 90 energy / Used: destruction of fingernails

Eifie (O)

*Cherry Coke* (m) <Oblivious> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 9%
Energy: 63%
Affection: 7
Currently: Cursing the spoctopus. Maybe he should start a speme? +1 Accuracy. +1 Super Evasion (fades when affection = 11). Paralyzed (severe: 25% chance of failure, 25% speed, 3% more energy for movement for 2 or more actions).
Used: Earthquake (adorably) ~ Adorable Cannon (missed) ~ (paralyzed)
 Eifie @Fancy Mint Puff: 87 health / -8913 energy / Used: ultimate destruction of fingernails

Field Notes
-The sun is shining brightly (1 more action).
-The ground is pockmarked with some small and large holes. Some hailstones and other chunks of ice have fallen into them and started to melt under the intense sunlight.
-A large, lopsided triangle of grass has been withered and sheared away by Gwen's Solar Beam.
-A berry tree nearby has grown a whole lot of berries. New kinds pop up every few seconds.
-The ground is cracked and rubbled, and jagged rocks poke out at varied intervals.

Action Notes
-Gwen's affection from the beginning of the round gave her another boost in Super Evasion and removed one of her boosts in Super Evasion. Cherry Coke's affection from the beginning of the round gave him a boost in Super Evasion, too.
-Regarding the bounce - Gwen would probably have been able to keep up the sustained beam, especially because it's sunny, but 1) much of the force would have been absorbed and not created enough knockback to keep her afloat and 2) she'd already started to fall because she can't fly or hover, so she used the two-turn Bounce.
-Gwen's Bounce paralyzed Cherry Coke, who was too paralyzed to do anything on the last action.



Spoiler: calcs



Gwen: 15 - 13 (Earthquake) = 2
73 - 3 (Bounce up) - 2 (Bounce down) - 7 (Solar Beam) = 61
9 + 1 (round 5) = 10
JackPK: 100 - 8 (Earthquake) = 92
Cherry Coke: 35 - 8 (Bounce down) - 18 (Solar Beam) = 9
70 - 4 (Earthquake) - 3 (Icicle Spear) = 63
6 + 1 (round 5) = 7
Eifie: 100 - 13 (Earthquake) = 87


JackPK commands next.


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## JackPK (May 24, 2015)

Solar Beam and pray. Pray so hard.

If that doesn't work and you are miraculously still alive enough to use any more moves, Giga Drain.

*Gwen: Solar Beam ~ Giga Drain ~ Giga Drain

Jack: Contemplate how spiders can learn Grass-type attacks*


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## Eifie (May 24, 2015)

Cherry Coke plz.

*Ice Shard ~ Ice Shard ~ Ice Shard*

Eifie: *cry ~ cry ~ cry*


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## Keldeo (May 26, 2015)

JackPK (O)

*Gwen* (f) <Insomnia>
Health: 2%
Energy: 61%
Affection: 10
Currently: Barely hanging on. +1 Special Defense, +3 Super Evasion (1 fades at 11, 1 fades at 12, 1 fades at 14).
Commands: Solar Beam ~ Giga Drain ~ Giga Drain
 JackPK @Deluxe Citrus Puff: 92 health / 90 energy / Used: destruction of fingernails

Eifie (O)

*Cherry Coke* (m) <Oblivious> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 9%
Energy: 63%
Affection: 7
Currently: Cursing the spoctopus. Maybe he should start a speme? +1 Accuracy. +1 Super Evasion (fades when affection = 11). Paralyzed (severe: 25% chance of failure, 25% speed, 3% more energy for movement for 2 or more actions).
Commands: Ice Shard x3
 Eifie @Fancy Mint Puff: 87 health / -8913 energy / Used: ultimate destruction of fingernails

Field Notes
-The sun is shining brightly (1 more action).
-The ground is pockmarked with some small and large holes. Some hailstones and other chunks of ice have fallen into them and started to melt under the intense sunlight.
-A large, lopsided triangle of grass has been withered and sheared away by Gwen's Solar Beam.
-A berry tree nearby has grown a whole lot of berries. New kinds pop up every few seconds.
-The ground is cracked and rubbled, and jagged rocks poke out at varied intervals.

*Round 6*​
This is it. The final battle. The ultimate confrontation. The conclusive engagement. Both Pokemon are tired, and the tension is so thick, you could cut through it with a… hot butter knife? (Wait, how does that saying go again?) Cherry Coke grits his nonexistent teeth and tries to work through his spasms (spider spasms), while Gwen tenses her legs and prepares to exercise her shiny Super Duper Evasion. The referee repeats "This is it" in case someone didn't hear her the first time. Then the flags are down, and Cherry Coke loads the Adorable Cannon with a single, tiny, sharpened icicle in double-time. It's shaped like a fingernail, for symbolism or meta or something. The tension gets thicker. Nothing moves, except for Eifie, who is silently crying.

Then Cherry Coke fires his Adorable Cannon, and the nail hurtles towards Gwen. In a movie, this would be when the scene slows down or pauses so that the viewers can admire the fingernail/icicle hurtling towards Gwen. In a comic book, there would be something like five separate frames dedicated to the fingernail/icicle hurtling towards Gwen, because that's just how important this scene is. In a video game, this would fade into a cutscene where the protagonist and their teammates say something inspirational or thematic before taking down the big boss with a fingernail beam or something. But this isn't a movie or a comic book or a video game, so Gwen just faces down the nail hurtling towards her and thinks up some good nail puns for her to say if it misses. Then it hits her, the last straw on one completely exhausted Spinarak's back, and she slips into nothingness--but not before muttering her best one: "Nailed it." 

After a few seconds of waiting for Gwen in a very professional and referee-like manner (laughing, in other words), the referee lowers one flag to indicate that Gwen has fainted, and JackPK and Eifie recall their Pokemon, shake hands, and exchange some good-natured nail puns before teleporting back to ASB Central to claim their prizes from the battle.

JackPK (x)

*Gwen* (f) <Insomnia>
Health: *0*%
Energy: 61%
Affection: 11
Currently: Fainted as a doornail.
Used: nothing
 JackPK @Deluxe Citrus Puff: 92 health / 90 energy / Used: wonder how spiders can learn Grass type moves

Eifie (O)

*Cherry Coke* (m) <Oblivious> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 9%
Energy: 61%
Affection: 8
Currently: Conscious as a... okay, that one doesn't work.
Used: Ice Shard
 Eifie @Fancy Mint Puff: 87 health / -8913 energy / Used: cry

Field Notes
-The ground is pockmarked with some small and large holes. Some hailstones and other chunks of ice have fallen into them and started to melt under the intense sunlight.
-A large, lopsided triangle of grass has been withered and sheared away by Gwen's Solar Beam.
-A berry tree nearby has grown a whole lot of berries. New kinds pop up every few seconds.
-The ground is cracked and rubbled, and jagged rocks poke out at varied intervals.

Action Notes
-Gwen's affection from the beginning of the round would have quartered Solar Beam's energy cost, but she fainted before she could use it. Cherry Coke's affection from the beginning of the round gave him a boost in Super Evasion. Gwen fainted when she was hit with Ice Shard.
-Alright, here's my opinion regarding the Amie boosts of the arena if you do revise it for another battle, Jack: I guess I'd say that even though both of you played with your Pokemon lots, neither one reached the highest tier (20+), which would take at least four-five rounds of solid affection work to get to by my calculations, during which your opponent could be doing a lot of damage or boosting up with not much of a penalty besides the potential for something like +6 Super Evasion. And once it gets down to it, actions are so valuable that it's better to spend one buffing or doing damage rather than betting on a dice-roll for a 10% accuracy drop, I guess? Maybe lower the affection requirements for some of the better boosts so they're attainable without having to sacrifice too many actions to affection, and there's also the problem of lowering energy costs (and _stacking_ halvings or quarterings) when many of them are low enough already that a quartering or eighth-ing (man, that word's awkward) will simply reduce them to 1% already, or the Pokemon doesn't actually use anything that costs energy for the entire round. But this was a really fun arena to write for, and I love the concept, so I'm interested to see where you'll go with it!



Spoiler: calcs



Gwen: 2 - 6 (Ice Shard) = *0*
61 = 61
10 + 1 (round 6) = 11
Cherry Coke: 9 = 9
63 - 2 (Ice Shard) = 61
7 + 1 (round 6) = 8



Good game, everyone, and have fun filling your new battle slot! Eifie gets $8, Jack gets $4, and I get $5. Cherry Coke gets 3 exp/2 happiness and can now evolve, and Gwen gets 1 exp/happiness.


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## Eifie (May 26, 2015)

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYES

Good battle, Jack! My imaginary fingernails can attest to how close it was at the end. One thing I would also change is not making the super evasion stack, which was how I originally thought it would be anyway (like in the games... I think). zzz why do I make these posts from my phone in the middle of the night

edit: now that I'm on a computer:

Thanks for reffing, Keldeo! I am amused that you got so much to write out of "Wheelbarrow Dumpling spits out an icicle. Gwen dies." Unfortunately, I am short on nail puns...


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## JackPK (May 26, 2015)

Woooow that was close. Great game, Eifie, and thanks for such quick reffings, Keldeo!

Not sure if I will revise and reuse this arena, but if I do, I'll almost certainly cut out the lowest tier altogether and reduce the affection point quotas such that they max around 10ish. And definitely add some more early-game effects that can reasonably be triggered other than "reduce energy cost".

(Incidentally, wow, how neat is it that we ended with the exact same energy?)


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