# Parents And The Computer?



## Kabigon (Jan 13, 2010)

Why is it that parents are scared beyond belief about their kids using the computer/internet? I mean, I know it's a dangerous world, but you have to be incredibly oblivious if you get your identity stolen over the internet.

Today, me and my dad were having a conversation about me keeping the computer on. All of a sudden, he says something about how people can hack through it if you leave it on. I'm like _what_. 

When I was smaller, I was absolutely forbidden to play online games because of some kid that had got kidnapped because he was playing an online game and gave the stalker/kidnapper their info.

Teens/kids need more credit.

I blame the media. Does anyone else have this problem.


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## Tailsy (Jan 13, 2010)

My dad is a computer dork, so I've never had this problem. Win-win!

If your kids are younger then there's certainly merit to watching what they're looking at on the Internet, but once they're mature enough I think it's probably better to just let them discover it for themselves. People have to learn for themselves, after all.


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## spaekle (Jan 13, 2010)

I had parental controls until a pretty ridiculous age (late teens) because my parents were so terrified I'd talk to strangers and look at porn!

Of course I figured out a way around them and I talked to strangers and looked at porn anyway. Haven't been kidnapped yet. :v


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## Blastoise Fortooate (Jan 13, 2010)

Not really. c:

My parents are cool like that.


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## Dannichu (Jan 13, 2010)

My mum has very basic computer skills (can just about check her email) and my dad doesn't know how to turn one on (I'd like to physically hurt whoever bought him an iPod for Christmas, because I've spent the last three days installing iTunes and uploading stuff for him because he hasn't got a clue, _graaaaah_), and ever since I started messing around online when I was about ten, neither of them have cared what sites I go on (though they've never cared about which computer games I play, what films I see, etc., either). I never had a limit on how long I could spend on the computer in a day, but they'd try and get me to go to bed at a reasonable time. Thankfully they've pretty much given that up and I'm free to stay online till the wee hours of the morning. As it should be.

They've also always been cool about me meeting up with people I've met online, which is good of them.


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## Autumn (Jan 13, 2010)

My parents try to tell me that I shouldn't give out too much personal info on the 'nets _just in case._

I don't give out much personal info beyond my birthday/age (which isn't so much) and occasionally state to the public 'nets, but I do send photos and more "private" info to extremely close friends and so far nothing's happened.

I think I have a better idea than my parents of whether the people I send private info to can be trusted or not. There are a total of... I think three? people on the 'nets that know what city I live in. One lives in the same state as me, one I actually met in real life and one I haven't yet met but I would not only trust her with my life but I've also proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is not going to come abduct me or whatnot (not that I _ever_ had any suspicion that she was going to do that, but hey - nice to know I was right).

My parents are getting progressively more lenient. Or they've just stopped caring.


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## Scyther (Jan 13, 2010)

Eh~~

Well, my parents specificlly forbid me from getting on TCoD, but I've always found a way to get back on. My iPod, for instance. My mom doesn't mind it so much, but she checks what I'm doing every once and while. In fact, once she caught me in an argument with RandomTyphoon, and she gave me a good scholding for it :~

Oh, and my stepmom freaked out on me, for a reason much like yours. Apparently, if I leave Firefox up, it gives hackers a "window" to get on. I tried to explain it to her, but she doesn't listen well to reason.

But, you know, I can't blame them. You could all be thirty-two year old stalkers for all I know~~


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## Scyther (Jan 13, 2010)

Eh~~

Well, my parents specificlly forbid me from getting on TCoD, but I've always found a way to get back on. My iPod, for instance. My mom doesn't mind it so much, but she checks what I'm doing every once and while. In fact, once she caught me in an argument with RandomTyphoon, and she gave me a good scholding for it :~

Oh, and my stepmom freaked out on me, for a reason much like yours. Apparently, if I leave Firefox up, it gives hackers a "window" to get on. I tried to explain it to her, but she doesn't listen well to reason.

But, you know, I can't blame them. You could all be thirty-two year old stalkers for all I know~~


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## fresh fruit for Adol (Jan 13, 2010)

Scyther said:


> Well, my parents specificlly forbid me from getting on TCoD, but I've always found a way to get back on.


O.O  Why here particularly, of all places...?

I've never had those sort of problems growing up.  Ideally my Mom would've kept me away from places like this when I was younger, forums and the like, but my Dad never cared and always let me do as I please.  And even then, if my Ma was being all RAWR with websites, I knew how to work stuff, and if I went onto forums/message boards or what have you, I'd just get rid of the viewing history; that's the only thing she doesn't know about when it came to computers :3

Really I've always just been free to do as I please when it came to the internet.  I do just that, but even then, when it comes to personal info, I know enough to not give too many...  Specifics out, for lack of a better term.  I've given my cell number to like, two or three people, but only because I know them as well as I would if I knew them in person, and they're some of my best friends.  And then there's also the people I've met on Dustloop, and Melty Bread; we've set up quite a few meet ups in various places, sometimes even at someone else's house just so we could spend a day or two and do nothing but play Guilty Gear, BlazBlue, or Melty <3

I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with limiting what your kids can view, but going to the extent that people will _kidnap_ you just from talking to them, and forbidding internet games in the like is a bit...  Excessive, if you ask me.  Only an idiot wouldn't know the limits to the info they give out on the interweb, and from what I've seen with quite a few of my friends, their parents tend to treat them as such.


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## glitchedgamer (Jan 13, 2010)

Someone convinced my dad that every person and their mother are hell-bent on hacking into your bank account through your wireless router. Now the secruity settings are so tight I'm suprised anything can get WiFi in this house. I keep telling him he's overreacting, but NOOOOOOO, EVERYONE is trying to hack us...

Parent's need to learn that a) Not everyone on the Interent is a criminal/rapist, b) We are not idiots and can take care of ourselves on the 'Net, and c) NOT EVERYONE IS TRYING TO HACK YOUR COMPUTER 24/7.


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## Arylett Charnoa (Jan 13, 2010)

Dannichu said:


> My mum has very basic computer skills (can just about check her email) and my dad doesn't know how to turn one on (I'd like to physically hurt whoever bought him an iPod for Christmas, because I've spent the last three days installing iTunes and uploading stuff for him because he hasn't got a clue, _graaaaah_), and ever since I started messing around online when I was about ten, neither of them have cared what sites I go on (though they've never cared about which computer games I play, what films I see, etc., either). I never had a limit on how long I could spend on the computer in a day, but they'd try and get me to go to bed at a reasonable time. Thankfully they've pretty much given that up and I'm free to stay online till the wee hours of the morning. As it should be.
> 
> They've also always been cool about me meeting up with people I've met online, which is good of them.


Yeah, I'm basically in the same boat as you.

Both of my parents though don't know how to use one at all. They don't mind things on the computer, how to use one, or how to turn one on even. I have no limits, and as long as I go to bed on time, they don't mind. They get frustrated that I'm on so often, but other than that, they're not too disturbed by the fact that I have online friends. My mom rather likes one of my online friends, in fact. Only... two know where I live. But again, it's as Leafpool said. I trust them, yeah. There's one who I voice chat with on a regular basis, and my mom's cool with it. She's also cool with her coming over to visit, which is nice.

For younger kids, I suppose yeah, it'd be prudent. But I've pretty much had unlimited access since I was 10 like Dannichu, and I haven't done anything stupid. The thing about people being so paranoid about it is that the media only reports when things go wrong. It doesn't report all the times where nobody got raped, abducted, etc. People just get overeactive when it comes to this place. It can be dangerous, but the amount of parents who know little about it and freak out is ridiculous. At least mine don't mind that much.


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## Blastoise Fortooate (Jan 13, 2010)

> You could all be thirty-two year old stalkers for all I know~~


3;)>8

My parents trust me not to tell anybody what my adress is or anything, but that's about the  extent of it. :)


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## H-land (Jan 13, 2010)

For whatever reason, I never had too much of an issue. Back when I was your... no, you're all only two years younger. Back when I was eight, nine, ten, the internet wasn't as big of a deal as it was today. We still had dialup. I played on Neopets. I played Destructo-Match I and Meerca Chase I and Kiko Match I and all of those othe... a lot of those other games that have since been replaced by more complex sequels that I generally don't like quite as much. In any case, I wasn't allowed on much since it tied up the phone line. When I was on, however, I didn't give out much information and my parents didn't worry that I would because somehow I'd gotten myself fairly paranoid. I'd give out first name, state, and age, though, sure. I still do.
As I got older, my parents and I both started to care less as it became more obvious that I could- no, that I needed to learn to take care of some things for myself. I've since met several online acquaintances in person, though only after having known them for some number of years. And I haven't gotten raped, mugged, or had any information stolen at all.
Honestly, most of the trouble I've had in the past few years has been not over that I'm using the computer and the internet, but that I'm playing violent games that I bought without telling my parents (since I _am_ legally an adult) and playing them instead of doing homework. And that's... that's not even a can of worms. That's a small box full of cans of worms. That's still several _different_ cans of worms.


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## Slartibartfast (Jan 13, 2010)

> Well, my parents specificlly forbid me from getting on TCoD, but I've always found a way to get back on.


*nods* I'm in the same boat. My parents have specifically banned me from TCoD and Facebook. Actually, my parents don't want me on any social networking/chat/MMORPG/whatever; it used to be that whole 'safety' thing when I was younger, but now they're just sick of me wasting so much time on the computer.

They can both use computers, though, and I've been busted a couple of times because my dad's savvy enough to look through the modem history. I kinda wish they didn't know how to use computers, but mostly I can do what I want. Except for all of the above, but I do some of that anyway.


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## Dannichu (Jan 13, 2010)

Honalululand said:


> Back when I was your... no, you're all only two years younger. Back when I was eight, nine, ten, the internet wasn't as big of a deal as it was today. We still had dialup. I played on Neopets. I played Destructo-Match I and Meerca Chase I and Kiko Match I and all of those othe... a lot of those other games that have since been replaced by more complex sequels that I generally don't like quite as much.


Hehe; when I first went online, I spent all my time either on Neopets or on the Mew's Hangout, not forums, but _guestbook_. We were a cool bunch X3

You know, I'd actually forgotten about dialup (I sorta miss those bleepy connecting sounds it'd make). In the beginning, I was only allowed online after 6pm or at weekends and when we weren't expecting a call because it was much cheaper and nobody could phone the house when you were online. 
I remember once the internet costs on the phone bill were something like £60, so my mum made me type up her 25,000-word essay as punishment. D:

Basically, I could hand my address out to strangers and they wouldn't care, as long as I didn't rack up a big phone bill.


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## Crazy Linoone (Jan 13, 2010)

My parents think that everyone on the internet is either a (1) evil stalker out to steal my identity, (2) 50-year-old pedophile, or (3) hacker. So, when they see that I'm on the computer for too long, they automatically assume that I'm playing online games or talking to strangers. Thus, I make sure TCoD forums is in Minimal Dewgong style so it looks like an innocent email or homework page, and I delete all history just in case they check. 

They currently don't suspect a thing. 

However, I've been on the computer a lot recently trying to finish some ASB reffings, and my parents decided to limit my computer time in case I'm chatting with strangers or playing computer games or something. :(


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## goldenquagsire (Jan 13, 2010)

Well, my dad's fairly savvy with computers so he taught me a bit of 'net common sense before I got online (be careful with downloads, regular virus scans are your friend, don't go completely overboard with releasing personal info, etc.) - otherwise, my parents were pretty cool with leaving me to my own devices. However, I remember that I actually asked for my parents' permission before I signed up to my first forum board. O_O;;


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## Lady Grimdour (Jan 13, 2010)

My parents don't care, really.

I was online when I was 6. I still remember those old Cartoon Network games. They were lenient because they thought I was too stupid to get on any site with hackers and pedophiles.

My uncles were the only Internet-savvy people in the family, and everyone else just goes with what THEY say. And they're badass so the only limit I've had with Internet then was the amount in my dial-up card. (Yes, we had scratch cards with 100 hours of Internet. Most went out of my allowance because my parents and grandparents bought the cards, so I snuck a few in. Most cards lasted less than a week.


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## Not Meowth (Jan 13, 2010)

My parents are idiots, and with regards to these things think I am too. Coupled with the fact that they have never before accepted that I can look after myself in any way, shape or form, they'd probably think I'll just get online and instantly start handing out every personal detail I have to anyone who asked. So I've just never told them what I do on here. 

Previously however, Internet as a whole was out of the question due to our old friend dial-up ¬¬ Apparently even 1p a minute at evenings and weekends is unbelievably expensive, the frivolity somehow not alleviated even by my offering to pay for it myself. Coupled with the rabid work-only policy upheld by the computer rooms at school at lunch break, that used to mean just 20 minutes of Internet time per weekday, unless I had or could feign homework. I love broadband so very much.


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## Minish (Jan 13, 2010)

We used to have AOL, which as you can imagine was the bane of my life when I was a kid. My mum would be able to manage which sites I could go on, would put a pathetic time limit on (haha, it used to be 1 hour absolute maximum every day; I'm now on constantly from about 3:30PM to 10:30PM on a school day and she's finally given up caring)... she used to be ever so slightly over the top with me being on the internet, but eh, she now accepts that I'm not an idiot and are going to be safe and all that. After years of this torture I hacked into her AOL account and changed my time limit to two hours instead, oh I was sneaky.

She uses the internet (heck, she even uses forums!), but she's not hugely internet savvy. But hey, at least she knows how to turn on a computer; apparently that's unusual, reading everyone else's posts. XD

I remember when I played Neopets at around the age of 10 (um, not that I don't _still_ play Neopets, but yeah), and she completely freaked out at me asking if I could use the chat boards there, because in General Chat there was a topic entitled 'can I have a boyfriend' or something. XD I wasn't allowed my own e-mail address and she wouldn't activate my account unless I sent off for one from Neopets through the post... @_@

Other than this one time she freaked out about me joining an LGBT Pride group on Facebook (though that was mainly because she apparently had no idea I was involved in LGBT at the time, rather than specifically the internet, although she apparently thought some butch lesbian was going to kidnap me if I joined), she's been pretty cool about it.

I think it's just because the internet is totally alien to anything older generations have experienced, nothing more. And parents don't tend to appreciate that we aren't entirely stupid and won't post our personal details all over Google (that's something my mum said, not me XP)


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## speedblader03 (Jan 13, 2010)

My dad locked me out of my computer last year by having me make him the admin and making it so I was blocked to getting on the computer at all times.  So I cracked is password.


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## voltianqueen (Jan 13, 2010)

We used to have the computer downstairs in my sister's room, and I (9 or 10-ish at the time) could be down there for hours and no one would care. Nowadays my parents still trust me not to give out info to random strangers, and those that do know my info (internet-wise) are people I trust. Sometimes, though, they get kinda paranoid or just generally weird about things since most of my friends on the internet are just a bit older than me, but whatever. My dad actually agreed to let me meet one of them (we didn't get to meet up tho), which was very surprising. o_O


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## 1. Luftballon (Jan 13, 2010)

Scyther said:


> But, you know, I can't blame them. You could all be thirty-two year old stalkers for all I know~~


oh well, the truth has to come out someday...

the thirty-two-year old stalkers are a minority. most of us are 86+ year-old stalkers, leaving 20%. when we discovered everyone else was a stalker, we gave up on stalking people here. :P

anyway, I actually have  a relatively computer-savvy dad, which is apparently unusual. I also am not generally allowed on the computer on school days. I circumvented that a long time ago, and nobody really bothers to get me off even when I do get on the computer.

my mom, on the other hand, is a pain to deal with. she insists on using an ancient computer and then complaining about the speed, and can't usually open a program without a file associated with it. I outsource those issues, though.


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## opaltiger (Jan 14, 2010)

Dannichu said:


> My mum has very basic computer skills (can just about check her email) and my dad doesn't know how to turn one on (I'd like to physically hurt whoever bought him an iPod for Christmas, because I've spent the last three days installing iTunes and uploading stuff for him because he hasn't got a clue, _graaaaah_), and ever since I started messing around online when I was about ten, neither of them have cared what sites I go on (though they've never cared about which computer games I play, what films I see, etc., either). I never had a limit on how long I could spend on the computer in a day, but they'd try and get me to go to bed at a reasonable time. Thankfully they've pretty much given that up and I'm free to stay online till the wee hours of the morning. As it should be.
> 
> They've also always been cool about me meeting up with people I've met online, which is good of them.


It is a little scary how similar your family is to mine. Are you sure your sister is not secretly male?


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## Jolty (Jan 14, 2010)

Cirrus said:


> We used to have AOL, which as you can imagine was the bane of my life when I was a kid. My mum would be able to manage which sites I could go on, would put a pathetic time limit on


Rofl I had that too :B I only got a time limit on though for staying up till 3am... but I still got round it.
And then when I was 15 I abandoned AOL. Best decision ever made.

Anyways
Both my parents trust me because I'm not stupid anymore (unlike my siblings) and I know what I'm doing :B I mean if I ask to meet up with someone from the tinternets they'll be like "ok then"

My mum knows faaaaaar more about the internet (and anything electrical in general) than my dad... we have that in common lol. It's frustrating watching my dad try to do simple things sometimes. I also showed him firefox and thunderbird and told him how much better they were than AOL but he still uses it :|


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## goldenquagsire (Jan 14, 2010)

> My mum knows faaaaaar more about the internet (and anything electrical in general) than my dad... we have that in common lol. It's frustrating watching my dad try to do simple things sometimes. I also showed him firefox and thunderbird and told him how much better they were than AOL but he still uses it :|


it's the other way round with my parents. my dad is pretty good with computers but my mum is just hopeless. in fact, she's generally useless with technology. one time she spent ages complaining that her iPod wouldn't play music; I solved the problem by properly slotting the earphones into the plug. >_>


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## Icalasari (Jan 14, 2010)

My mother is pretty bad with computers, but she is now taking classes

My dad is the tech savvy one

Anyways, they trusted me, although they hate how I spend so much time on the computer. My dad said that I have an addiction at one point. I proved him wrong by reducing my computer time to an hour or two every day (since my girlfriend lives in Utah, computer is the best way to talk to her, and one of the sites I go on require regular check up, so there was no real way to just pull the plug altogether)

As long as I don't give out too much information, they are fine with it (I have given out my address before though without them knowing, and my photo. Even my dad, who is pretty computer savvy, thinks someone can steal my identity using my photo and my full name >.> Only one here who can do that is Mudkip (I have been so inactive here lately that I have no clue if he changed his name XD), and that is only because me and him look eerily similar o.o;))

Heck, they were even ok with me meeting my girlfriend in real life a few years ago (although they were trying to get me to put it off indefinitely XD), and nowadays, they don't even mind me meeting with a group of furries I met online :D


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## Teh Ebil Snorlax (Jan 14, 2010)

My mam has the basics but my dad needs help opening up a web browser.

Both of them trust me not to give out too much information, the only places I display my hometown are here, Facebook and Bebo, I have my Facebook and Bebo set as only viewable by my friends and I only add people I actually know. Only one person that I know purely over the Internet knows my hometown, and I consider her one of my closest friends.


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## Dannichu (Jan 15, 2010)

opaltiger said:


> It is a little scary how similar your family is to mine. Are you sure your sister is not secretly male?


My mother does not fashion clothes out of neckties and is thus not as cool as yours, I'm afriad ):


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## surskitty (Jan 19, 2010)

MY RULES FOR HAVING INTERNET ACCESS: no /b/, no porn.  Which I'm mostly fine with, so!

My mom, dad, and stepdad are all neeeeeerds.  Neeeeeerds I say.  I might elaborate at some point but eh.


As far as personal information goes, I try to keep my offline and online identities pretty separate but that's mainly so if anyone googles my actual name, they won't get surskitty anywhere.


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## Auraflash (Jan 19, 2010)

My parents are soooo strict. They think I'm addicted to the computer, even though it's sorta true, I can't go two days without even checking my emails. So they say I'm not allowed on the computer past dinner. But I always get around this, I sometimes have to lie about needing to type a 4 page essay on a random subject.

My parent also got mad at me for getting an AIM without telling them. Then, my friends persuaded me to get a Facebook account(Now I spend a lot of time there). Imagine the trouble I could get in if my parents found out I got a Facebook last December.

And if they found out I made 3 forum accounts(1 here, 1 on Pokestory, and one on Dragon Cave), I'll be in some serious trouble.

Both my parents are ok with using computers, but compared to them, I'm the biggest computer nerd in my house.


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## Tyranitar freak (Jan 30, 2010)

My parents don't really care, as long as I don't meet anyone I know online, and I don't nearly get arrested.


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## Chopsuey (Jan 30, 2010)

Mah dad wouldn't give a damn about what I do on the web (If I wanted to look at porn I could just grab a porn magazine of a shelf at the nearest bookstore. DUH!) ...But my mom is like....I hate it. I'm not allowed on a computer for anything other that homework and the like. I used to get on about eight hours a day and posted just my first name on Neopets (HOW MANY OF US WERE REGISTERED BACK THEN???...) and my mom freaked. Bye bye computer for me. I found ways around it. I waited 'till they were both gone and...BOOM! Online games with a lot of gore. Unfortunatlely, it opened the game twice, and when I exited out of the game it left one minimized and they found out what I was up to...

But now I can avoid it all together and be all over the web, my DSi and Wii both have Wi-Fi! My mom would freak if she knew I was 1) On forums (For some reason she is afraid of forums...) 2) Had an email (She is afraid I will get spammed or that one of my friends will send me porn. Yes I do have perverted friends!) And 3) Have a Youtube account. My life would be screwed if my mom caught me.

I wouldn't give out more personal info then my online aliasis, my first name and email. I searched myself on the Internet the other day and it says my adress, city, age everything. Personal info is not a good idea! My mom wouldn't let me meet online friends but my dad might. He would probably say it would be good for me to get some friends. (Yeah, I don't have many friends 'cause I'm not a very social guy outside the net)

My dad would be cool w/ me using a computer, my mom wouldn'.....'Till collage. :/


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## Dannichu (Jan 31, 2010)

surskitty said:


> As far as personal information goes, I try to keep my offline and online identities pretty separate but that's mainly so if anyone googles my actual name, they won't get surskitty anywhere.


See, this is why I'm silly. My name on FB is Dannichu Rundle. XD

On the plus side, though, I don't think googling my actual name returns any results, including my FB page.


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## Butterfree (Jan 31, 2010)

My parents have never restricted my computer use at all; my dad used to be a programmer, so he's all for me using computers. My mom has been _talking_ about how she should have restricted my computer use to x hours a day for ages, but they never actually did it, and I've told her bluntly that that would have been the absolute worst thing they could have done for me as a teenager. :/


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## Karkat Vantas (Jan 31, 2010)

I try to avoid letting my IRL stuff and my forum life mix.

Mainly because my friends would probably never talk to me again if they found out I visited Pokemon forums.


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## spaekle (Jan 31, 2010)

Also in the "tries to avoid IRL and online lives mixing" boat. I tell my closest friends that I'm Spaekle and all, but in general I try to avoid having random people at school/family members find me online. Mostly because I'm a lot more 'out' about various things online than I am IRL.


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## Scyther (Jan 31, 2010)

> See, this is why I'm silly. My name on FB is Dannichu Rundle. XD


:)

My name on Facebook is Scyther Smith.


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## Loffyglu (Feb 12, 2010)

Haha, I remember my parents used to be pretty uptight about that kind of stuff... They never really set any rules/parental controls, but they'd constantly talk to me about how everyone on the Internet's gonna rape me and whatnot. That paranoia did sort of rub off on me for a while *laugh*

They worried less and less after they found out I talk to people online, though, when I was... 11? (I think I started when I was 9 or 10...) Now I don't think they give a shit, lol =P

Anyway! I figure that maybe it's because of all the talks I got about how you shouldn't give out your details online, but I figure that if I was 9 or 10 and smart enough not to give pedophiles enough details to come and hunt me down, any kid could be; so I guess the best thing to do is telling your kid not to give out personal information, but don't give them the idea that everyone's a stalker? ^^'


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## Alxprit (Feb 15, 2010)

The problem for me isn't that my mom is scared of me getting raped, but moreso she's scared of me suffering damage to my eyes or my mind from getting too much computer time. She's amazed that I can stay on for as long as I do. I'm always safe with my info, though. Meh.

She should really learn to appreciate technology.


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