# tcod cookbook



## kyeugh (Jul 20, 2019)

howdy folks.  this is a thread for sharing recipes, like we discussed in the telegram a bit ago.  feel free to post yours below, and let us know if you end up making anything from this thread!  i'll update this post with a list of posted recipes as they're added.

*Recipes*

oeuf d'Eif by Oeufie
lazy french toast by Keldeo
egg fried rice by Keldeo


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## Eifie (Jul 20, 2019)

Oh, boy! I'm so happy for this chance to share my favourite recipe, it's been passed down in the Cult of Eif through the ages!

*Egg*


 put egg and water in pot
 boil it
 now you have Boiled Egg. serve while hot


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## Keldeo (Jul 21, 2019)

Also using egg, here's very lazy french toast:

Put oil and a slice of bread in pan, crack an egg on top
Wait for the bottom part to cook, then flip it all over
Cook until you feel like eating it

And here's a general egg fried rice recipe that's good for using up leftovers:


Beat eggs, pour the egg into a bowl with some cold cooked rice, and mix together
Heat some cooking oil in a skillet, and add the egg/rice mixture
Stir in any additional ingredients
Cook until all the egg is done, stirring frequently
You can add pretty much anything in step 3 as long as it's chopped small enough to cook quickly -

Meats: chicken, pork, ham, bacon, shrimp
Veggies: frozen peas/corn/carrots, red onion, zucchini, bell pepper, mushroom, broccoli
Seasoning: soy sauce, sesame, garlic, green onion


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## Novae (Jul 21, 2019)

hi I cannot cook at all but I would like to recommend that this thread be renamed “TCookbookoD” or something like that


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## Eifie (Jul 21, 2019)

Chemist1422 said:


> hi I cannot cook at all but I would like to recommend that this thread be renamed “TCookbookoD” or something like that


Might I recommend Egg? It's a greater starter recipe!


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## Sandstone-Shadow (Jul 24, 2019)

Keldeo said:


> Also using egg, here's very lazy french toast:
> 
> Put oil and a slice of bread in pan, crack an egg on top
> Wait for the bottom part to cook, then flip it all over
> Cook until you feel like eating it


Omg I'm making this for breakfast tomorrow. This is literally the best kind of recipe ever. :D


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## Green (Jul 24, 2019)

Eifie said:


> Might I recommend Egg? It's a greater starter recipe!


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## Eifie (Apr 26, 2020)

reminder to self to revive this as a general cooking thread maybe and post pictures of "Eifie and mom discover home cooking, quarantine edition" tomorrow. featuring tapioca pearls made from scratch!


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## Eifie (Apr 26, 2020)

From the reacts I take it that people are interested so I hope qva doesn't mind me repurposing this thread slightly!

So yeah! My parents basically never cooked for me growing up. Now I can't really remember what they ate while I was growing up but they mostly ate Indian food (or other South Asian styles?) which I absolutely hate and cannot stand (with a few exceptions), so I like, barely ate while I was growing up I guess??? idk. These days my mom cooks a lot for my brother because he has a lot of dietary restrictions and during quarantine we've kinda just all been eating his food. My mom always complains about cooking and how much work it is and has never been interested in cooking before, so I'm like immensely excited that she's suddenly taken an interest in it since I came back to stay with my parents to ride this thing out and starting trying to make food at home that I've missed eating. This has been my prelude in the style of those really annoying recipe sites that write an entire novel before just giving you the recipe.

We have been making a few things! First let me show off my tapioca pearls (for bubble tea), which you can make from scratch with just tapioca starch and water!













I basically just followed this recipe, minus the black food colouring because I would have to mix colours to make it and three ingredients was just too much for a kitchen disaster like me. I put in too much water and ended up making tapioca glue at first, so then I called my mom over to pour on more tapioca flour for me because my hands were too sticky to do it. She basically looked at my mess and was like SIGH EIFIE and took over for me while I washed my hands and when I came back she magically had dough. Individually rolling it into tapioca balls took ages and since we had to add flour I had a lot more dough than I intended. I think we had to boil them for like 25 minutes to get them like this. They were flavourless, but the texture was pretty nice!

So yesterday I tried again, adding a brown sugar syrup for colour and flavour!













I basically followed this recipe this time, though I kind of ignored some parts and just did what I remembered from the first recipe. They ended up kind of misshapen and flattened (probably partly because I made some of them into cubes instead of forming balls because there was just so much dough and it was way too much work), and at first they just kinda melted/fell apart in my mouth but after they cooled in my drink that no longer happened (I almost certainly overcooked them, we boiled them for like 45 minutes or something). They tasted really good! There was a lot of sticky mess to clean up, though. I ended up with a ton of extra following that recipe's amounts (also I didn't actually measure the tapioca flour so who knows how much I actually used) so I froze most of it for later instead of boiling it!

You guys could try it, it's surprisingly simple (although time consuming) if you're not a failure in the kitchen like me! I can't believe we can just make things.

I'll post about the pizza later.


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## Sandstone-Shadow (Apr 26, 2020)

Woo for Eifie cooking stories :D 

My cooking is typically less "recipe-based" and more just "cut up a bunch of things and put them in a pot with olive oil and stir until done." Which works fine! But sometimes I get bored if I'm not following an ACTUAL recipe, so maybe I should do that more now. 

I decided I would buy a bunch of fresh veggies and stuff, cut them up, and freeze them (instead of making frequent trips to the grocery store). Things I discovered through this process: 

1) I love having pre-cut, frozen peppers, celery, onions, etc. in the freezer! I will put little veggies like this on almost everything I make (pizza, mac n cheese, eggs, etc) but a lot of times I skip it because I'm too lazy to cut them up, and they almost always go bad before I can use the whole thing. But having them pre-cut and in the freezer means all I have to do is scoop some out and sprinkle it on whatever I'm about to cook :D

2) I actually am almost out of freezer space. Now I need to make something with all the ingredients I've gathered. 

Most recently, I made a potato-carrot-tomato-onion dish by cutting up a bunch of them and putting them in a pan and putting that pan into the oven. It turned out pretty good!


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## Eifie (Apr 26, 2020)

Chapter 2!

Completely of her own volition, my mom told me, "I had dad buy yeast so we can make homemade pizza". I was shocked, partly because I thought yeast was sold out everywhere. (It basically is, according to my mom's friend who gave her the pizza recipe in the first place, but my dad found some at an Indian grocer so he bought a pack for my mom's friend as well.)

We made pizza yesterday! My mom's friend, like, didn't actually send her a recipe? idk, I'm confused. So my mom found some random Indian cooking recipe online, because we gotta follow our culture even when making white people food, I guess. We used whole wheat flour because that was all we had, but the crust was so thin that it was like not even noticeable. And we used store-bought pizza sauce instead of making our own.

So first we made the dough. My mom was shocked and horrified when I told her we would have to wait 2-3 hours for it to rise. After like half an hour my mom looked at the dough again and said it was too hard and was never going to rise, so she incorporated some other recipe on the internet and did stuff to it and ended up with usable dough that did, in fact, rise (eventually). We made one plain cheese pizza, and one "every possible topping we could find in our fridge" pizza (tomato, spinach, pineapple, onion). Unfortunately the cheese was a three-cheese mix that included Monterey Jack cheese with habaneros in it, so even the plain cheese pizza was kind of spicy for me. :( My dad said that was the only one they had in the store. Sure, dad.













The everything pizza got stuck to the pizza stone because my mom hadn't greased it, only sprinkled some flour. The other one was fine because the other pan was nonstick. I ate 7/8 of the cheese pizza myself but it was really thin crust, okay.

I thought my mom would totally find this not worth it compared to just putting a frozen pizza in the oven because in total it took like 3-4 hours and a lot of dishes but she said it was worth it and will get easier the more we do it. She also said we'll make more next weekend! Stay tuned, I guess.


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## IndigoClaudia (Apr 27, 2020)

*Emmy's three in one DELUXE no bake cookies.*

(--Do not steal this it's my recipe. But please do make it, it's really yummy.--)

Ingredients
-Sugar, 2 cups
-Cocoa Powder, 1/3 cup
-Milk i think? Yeah, milk, 1/2 cup
-Butter, 1/4 cup or half a stick (it doesn't really matter just don't put in a lot or it will taste bad. I know from experience)
-At least one cup of Chocolate Chips.
-Peanut Butter, 1/4 cup to 1 cup, but i recommend the former.
-Vanilla Extract, 1 tbsp
-lots a oats, 1 and 1/2 cup of oats.

Instructions.
Clearly, it's cookie time and you are far too lazy to get off your ass and put them in an oven. That's great because i have the same thing going on. But these cookies are not some boring no bake cookies that taste bad... these are GREAT. and they are virtually effortless.
*DISCLAIMER: the clean up duty is not effortless, if you have a sibling it is recommended you make them clean it up.*


Dump 1/2 cup of milk in a bowl
Put 2 cups of sugar in a bowl, if you mix this it will look like slimy white applesauce. This is normal. (Note: you don't have to mix it yet)
Add. 1/3 cup of cocoa powder. Now mix it just a little bit.
Add 1/4 cup of butter.
Put on top of the stove and mix the whole thing until it turns brown and chocolatey and gooey. 



Spoiler: Picture for reference



 like so.



Now we add the Deluxe 3 things that make this better than some boring old cookie.
Add the chocolate chips. As many as you want. 1 cup is recommended.
Add peanut butter. As much as you want, no more than 1 cup is recommended.
Add vanilla extract, 1 tbsp.
Stir it a bit i guess.
Now add in 1 cup of oats, if it seems like enough oats, good, if not add in an extra half a cup.
Now roll them onto a whatever that fits in the freezer, you should have 10-16 cookies depending on how big they are.
Leave them in the freezer for about 15 minutes but 16 minutes and 12 seconds works best.
Take them out and eat. Store in the fridge or freezer (but you probably will eat them all in one serving)
I hope you enjoy my recipe.
(BTW this works much better with soymilk and vegan butter substitutes as the recipe was made for a vegan, me)

If anyone makes this please send pics in this thread! I wanna see how they turn out :3


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## IndigoClaudia (Apr 27, 2020)

*Emmy's random crap secret vegan queso.*
(You could probably make this non vegan if you wanted but i don't really know how one would do that.)

Ingredients.
-Daiya Vegan Shredded Cheddar Cheese (Or probably any shredded cheese i guess), 1/2 cup
-Daiya Vegan Farmhouse Block Cheddar Cheese (Or any small block of cheddar cheese i guess) 1/4 of the (small) cheese block.
-Daiya Vegan Sliced Cheddar Cheese. (Or any other cheese slice), 1 slice.
-1/4 cup o' soymilk, or any other milk i guess. Unsweetened works best.
-1/4 cup of salsa.
-Chili Pepper
-Chili Powder
-Cayenne
-the secret ingredient... ROSEMARY don't ask why this goes in queso too well.
-Probably chips to dip the queso in.

Instructions.
You there? Do you want queso but have nothing but a bunch of crap in your fridge and a various assortment of Daiya Vegan cheeses? Then you can make this delicious queso right at home.
*DISCLAIMER*: I made this when i was eight years old. Tastes a lot better than it sounds.


Put the 1/4 cup of salsa in a small container. Make sure this container can fit (and not melt or something) in a toaster oven or oven.
Put in the Daiya cheeses.
Put in the milk.
Put it in the oven at 350 for 4 minutes and then take out. If the cheese is not gooey and melty you are doing it wrong. Don't expect all the cheeses to have melted into each other yet.
Well it's out of the oven put all the spices into it (as much as you want but be sparing on the chili powder)
Stir it up a bit.
put it back in the oven for about ten minutes until it's all melted together, taking it out if it needs stirred again or looks ready.
Eat it with chips. Store in the fridge. Enjoy.


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## IndigoClaudia (Apr 27, 2020)

Eifie said:


> *Egg*
> 
> 
> put egg and water in pot
> ...


I attempted to make egg (AKA - oeuf d'Eif). I was successful. (I only had one egg though so i mostly ended up eating a burrito for breakfast).


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## mewtini (Apr 27, 2020)

IndigoEmmy said:


> don't ask why this goes in queso too well.


rosemary goes with EVERYTHING well.

thank you guys for the public resource that is the tcod cookbook


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## rari_teh (Apr 30, 2020)

I was like a quarter through the post and then I misclicked and lost the entire thing. Huff >:C
oh well, lesson learned. Type your longposts in notepad, folks.

I’m super happy this thread exists! I love cooking! :3

Bacon, Brie and Dates Savouries
I’ll start off with this one because it not only makes a great coffee snack, but also works well as a light-ish dinner. Besides, it’s easy and relatively quick to do! I got this recipe from a really nice afternoon tea cookbook (this one), I do recommend it if you manage to find it for sale.
I know that dates aren’t the easiest ingredient to find, though if you’re going to try doing the recipe without the dates, I advise you to substitute with something sweet. The dates are what keeps the savouries from being too salty and heavy on the stomach.
Enough waffling, onto the recipe:

2 cups plain flour
pinch of salt
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp caster sugar
12 fresh dates
2 tablespoons olive oil
15 g + 50 g butter
12 strips of streaky bacon
75 g brie
2 eggs
Preheat the oven at 180 °C and lightly grease (or line with paper muffin cases) 12 to 14 muffin tins.

Take a large bowl and mix all dry ingredients. If your flour is lumpy, sift it. Pit and chop up the dates and add them to the flour mixture.

Put the oil and 15 g of butter (about one tablespoon) in a frying pan, chop the bacon strips into small pieces and fry it over medium heat. While the bacon fries (keep an eye on it and give it a prod every now and then, though), put the milk in a small bowl and mash the brie into it as well as you can. When the bacon is done, take it off the heat and let it cool down.

Melt the remaining 50 g of butter (it’ll yield about ¼ cup) and add it to the flour mixture. Whisk the two eggs in a small bowl and add them to the flour mixture as well. Finally, add in the milk-and-brie and the now warm bacon together with all the oily goodness inside the frying pan. Mix the entire thing together until it properly combines. In the beginning, it will look like all the grease will never come together with the dough; just keep mixing that it won’t take much long until they’re all one thing.

Fill the muffin tins up to three quarters of the capacity and bake for 18 to 20 minutes until deliciously golden. When they’re done, let them cool down a bit before taking the tins off, otherwise the not-muffins will crumble into pieces </3


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## rari_teh (Apr 30, 2020)

mewtini said:


> rosemary goes with EVERYTHING well.


I love rosemary! It’s one of the best herbs to grow at home! They’re super hardy and low-maintenance <3
now all this talk around it makes me want to try adding it to the savouries’ dough next time lol

I’ll also post another recipe ’cause why not:

Brigadeiro
Seriously, just do it

4 to 6 tablespoons sweetened cocoa powder
1 tin of sweetened condensed milk
scant 2 tablespoons butter
Put all ingredients in a saucepan and stir your life away, seriously, don’t stop stirring or it will burn. When it gets thick enough to be possible to see the bottom of the pan when you scrape, it’s done. Pour it into a tupperware and store it in the fridge. You may eat it hot or cold, but keep in mind that it thickens a lot when cooled down.

Traditionally, it is rolled into small balls with greased hands and then covered with chocolate sprinkles, but it’s more practical and just as good to eat on a spoon tbqh. This thing is super versatile, you can go ballistic with variations. Try adding cinnamon, walnuts, almonds or even anise, you really can’t go wrong with it. It’s great as a cake icing as well.


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## M&F (May 1, 2020)

rari_teh said:


> Brigadeiro
> Seriously, just do it
> 
> 4 to 6 tablespoons sweetened cocoa powder
> ...


that's a national secret yoooooooou criminosx de araque


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## rari_teh (May 1, 2020)

M&F said:


> rari_teh said:
> 
> 
> > Brigadeiro
> ...


beu teus kkkkkkkkkk that was unexpected


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