# God Hates Heinz



## Vladimir Putin's LJ (Aug 8, 2008)

I am proud, proud of America. You recently decided to make sodomitical marriage legal in yet another state (California), but you've salvaged yourselves from the wrath of God.
As you all know, Heinz has brought out a new brand of mayonnaise, Deli Mayo, and they decided to make an advert. BUT HERE WE HAVE PROOF THAT THOSE PERVERTED FAGGOTS ARE OUT TO RUIN OUR AMERICAN CHILDREN!!!
Yes, believe it or not, Heinz made an advert specifically made to be broadcast in Britain, and this advertisement contains a kiss between two men. The perversion is nearly 1 second long, AND THIS IS UNNACCEPTABLE.
However, all is not lost, we at the AFA (American Family Association) have written 40 complaints, and Heinz promptly apologized, pulled the advert and apologized again for offending us.
Those faggots in Britain have already sent them a petition containing 14,000 signatures to bring the shameful film back on our screens, but thanfully Heinz sides with the Lord and they have stood firm on their decision to not broadcast it.

All the same, we reccomend never buying anything Heinz makes ever because it might contain gay germs.
Watch the disgusting clip if you have to.
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itt we talk about why america keeps doing shit like this.
and also how we should kill the man who named an association 'American Family Association' because that's like the single most neauseating thing in this thread, after Heinz's lack of spine.

yeah i know i shouldn't make a mountain out of a molehill but this kind of stuff depresses me so much because it's just a silly commercial that was meant to stay in the UK and didn't even air during primetime because of the OBE not allowing ads for unhealthy food products on children's telly.
ugghh


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## Tailsy (Aug 8, 2008)

It's okay, Britain's always trying to push the envelope. Gosh. Why do you keep offending our further-West cousins, guys? GOD IT'S NO WONDER WE ALL GET NAKED AND HAVE MUD FIGHTS EVERY SINGLE TIME WE GET DRINK. EVERY SINGLE TIME THERE IS EXTREMELY GAY MUD-WRESTLING. WHY IS THIS.

Anyway, ahahahah. I didn't even know this advert existed. But wait, in the US was it only aired after primetime or what? :S


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## spaekle (Aug 8, 2008)

Something similar happened with this commercial for Snickers, shown during the superbowl of 2007. There was quite an uproar over that one too. :\ 

It must get annoying to have to boycott so many companies. I wonder where these people are going to get food after their grocery stores start catering to fags. Maybe they'd rather starve to death than buy food from the same place those _heathens_ do.


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## Furretsu (Aug 8, 2008)

buying as many Heinz products as possible now

EDIT: wait only read the first few paragraphs, totally buying alternative ketchups now >:|


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## shadow_lugia (Aug 8, 2008)

I don't really get what's perverted about that :/ I'm a girl, and I kiss my mom. That doesn't make me a faggot.

Of course, I didn't have the volume up, because said mom just so happens to be sleeping right now.


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## Furretsu (Aug 8, 2008)

shadow_lugia said:


> I don't really get what's perverted about that :/ I'm a girl, and I kiss my mom. That doesn't make me a faggot.


wait so it would be perverted if you _were_ a faggot


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## Vladimir Putin's LJ (Aug 8, 2008)

Tailsy said:


> But wait, in the US was it only aired after primetime or what? :S


It never aired in the US. Like, at all.

And yeah it's dumb because not a single person in the UK complained, and several people even said they enjoyed it.
So British people enjoy an advert that was made to be broadcast in the UK only but when the AFA complains Heinz pull it.
uh

And yeah now every time I'm done eating anything from Heinz I'll have to do something really gay to make up for it.


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## H-land (Aug 8, 2008)

Hey, I saw that ad while I was abroad. I just thought it was weird.
Maybe a little bit more so because Heinz doesn't advertise its mayo over here at all. Just ketchup, and maybe mustard. :B


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## Not Meowth (Aug 8, 2008)

Another classic case of "Hey, that can't possibly be offensive, but let's ban it anyway and ruin things for everyone. Meanwhile, we remain oblivious to how much this annoys everyone, thinking we're making everyone oh so much happier and improving shit, blah blah blah."

Notice they didn't consider that labeling two men kissing as obscene could offend homosexuals.


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## Harlequin (Aug 8, 2008)

I thought it was funny. It certainly wasn't offensive. To heterosexuality, anyway.

Fucking hell AFA stay out of British business.


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## Minish (Aug 8, 2008)

My friend showed me this yesterday and we had a fun time of verbally abusing the article. :D
It was funny seeing all the comments on it - most were 'THIS ADVERT WAS SO AWESOME' but there were some like 'this is disgusting, I will not stand for my child watching this filth - GOD SHALL HAVE JUDGEMENT RAAAARRRR'

Yeeeeahhh, if that God fellow tries to judge (or forgive) me or something I'll just punch him in the face. :/


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## Timmy (Aug 8, 2008)

grow the fuck up America

Funniest advert I've seen in a while too :( gah


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## goldenquagsire (Aug 9, 2008)

Uh why the hell does an American pressure group have ANY influence whatsoever in British affairs?

Bloody Yankees. ]:


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## Tailsy (Aug 9, 2008)

goldenquagsire said:


> Uh why the hell does an American pressure group have ANY influence whatsoever in British affairs?
> 
> Bloody Yankees. ]:


THEY'RE EVERYWHERE

IN YOUR WALLPAPER
FUCK EVEN IN THE PASTE

SHIT MAN DON'T LOOK AT YOUR CEREAL TOO LONG


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## S. E. (Aug 9, 2008)

Ugh, I hate living in this bloody pit called America. We're supposed to be the free country. What the heck? I don't want to be associated with these idiots, but I always am on the internet. We can't afford to move out of the country, either. Oh yikes now I'm a terrorist

Argh, *attentionwhoreattentionwhoreattentionwhore* argh...

Slightly more on topic, this is stupid. What is so wrong about that commercial? Gah, this thread has pissed me off...


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## OrangeAipom (Aug 9, 2008)

Yeah, they're trying to be edgy. So what?


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## Eevee (Aug 9, 2008)

fuck I am eating heinz right now



Spaekle Oddberry said:


> Something similar happened with this commercial for Snickers, shown during the superbowl of 2007. There was quite an uproar over that one too. :\


That one was even dumber; the *HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN* demanded it be pulled.


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## Yarnchu (Aug 9, 2008)

Shining Eevee said:


> Oh yikes now I'm a terrorist









It just HAD to be done. (alright maybe not...)

On topic: This is just stupid. Why can't we stay out of everyones affairs? This is just one of the reasons why I hate my country sometimes. I really want to move to japan. It has just about every thing I like, plus fewer idiots!


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## Icalasari (Aug 10, 2008)

So, how does the AFA know that the cook was a man and not just a woman who lifts weights alot and has so much testosterone that they grow facial hair and have a deep voice? After all, they WERE called mom :O

...Wow, I have a feeling that my post is not funny in the least bit x.x


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## The Quicker Picker-Upper (Aug 10, 2008)

Meh, typical. 

Funny how crap like this happens all the time, even though only 5% of the population really gives a damn. This population group is mostly made up of organizations of angry moms that go on about how everything that's both entertaining and popular is "CORRUPTINGS THE YOUTH", unless it involves Mel Gibson. There's a magical mom-proof shield around that guy. "Hey kids, wanna see Apocalypto? It's made by that GOOD AMERICAN and/or CHRISTIAN guy who was in Passion of the Christ, bless his soul!"


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## #1 bro (Aug 10, 2008)

That's an incredibly unfunny ad. What's the joke? That there are some people in the world that are gay? Huh? :|  

also, iirc, it was LGBT groups that were protesting the Superbowl candy bar ad, _not_ Christian groups. They were claiming it was homophobic. To me it seemed more like it was making fun of homophobic people, but whatever.


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## Vladimir Putin's LJ (Aug 11, 2008)

Zeta Reticuli said:


> That's an incredibly unfunny ad. What's the joke? That there are some people in the world that are gay? Huh? :|


The point of the ad is 'HOLY SHIT THIS MAYO TASTES SO MUCH LIKE DELI MAYO IT'S LIKE YOU HAVE A GODDAMN *NEW YORK DELI WORKER* IN YOUR KITCHEN' and since there aren't that many Deli women they used a dude.



> Funny how crap like this happens all the time, even though only 5% of the population really gives a damn. This population group is mostly made up of organizations of angry moms that go on about how everything that's both entertaining and popular is "CORRUPTINGS THE YOUTH", unless it involves Mel Gibson. There's a magical mom-proof shield around that guy. "Hey kids, wanna see Apocalypto? It's made by that GOOD AMERICAN and/or CHRISTIAN guy who was in Passion of the Christ, bless his soul!"


Ah, drunk Jew-hater Mel Gibson, how I long to crush thy bones.
Passion of the Christ was pretty hardcore.


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## #1 bro (Aug 11, 2008)

Vladimir Putin's LJ said:


> The point of the ad is 'HOLY SHIT THIS MAYO TASTES SO MUCH LIKE DELI MAYO IT'S LIKE YOU HAVE A GODDAMN *NEW YORK DELI WORKER* IN YOUR KITCHEN' and since there aren't that many Deli women they used a dude.


ohhhhhhhhhh wow that went RIGHT over my head.


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## Dannichu (Aug 11, 2008)

Hurr, I remember this one~

Is it terrible that watching LGBT-related ads is a hobby of mine? (loads here)
It's not like we ever get to see them on TV. :/

Well, except the occasional D&G ones... and that one ages ago that was massively complained about, where these were two women beating the living hell out of each other for like five minutes before making out for no reason. o.O


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