# Mourning for English Grammar



## Departure Song (Jul 2, 2009)

This is a real book.


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## OrangeAipom (Jul 2, 2009)

Vanity?


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## Departure Song (Jul 2, 2009)

There's more... according to this thread on SA:


> The real payoff comes when one discovers that Dale M. Courtney is NOT in fact a 12-year-old, and apparently has the President's ear, giving his opinion on topics as diverse as the Iranian protests, healthcare, space exploration, globalization, and more, each with the same bizarre prose and mastery of creative capitalization.
> Behold: http://students.barackobama.com/page/community/blog/dalecourtney


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## Zuu (Jul 2, 2009)

Honestly that is bullshit. Tell me he's just super eccentric or something.

also the funniest thing are the reviews on the amazon page


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## spaekle (Jul 2, 2009)

...how can anyone stand to read a book that goes on like this?! Is it self-published or what?

He writes like he's sitting there talking and telling you the story. And the random Capitalization really Pisses me off. :(


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## Departure Song (Jul 2, 2009)

The SA thread is hilarious, though. I would definitely recommend reading _that_.


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## OrangeAipom (Jul 2, 2009)

Maybe he's trying to Emulate the Consitution of America because he thinks Doing so would make his writing more Govermenty.


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## Departure Song (Jul 2, 2009)

Chucho said:


> Maybe he's trying to Emulate the Consitution of America because he thinks Doing so would make his writing more Govermenty.


Also it is July 2 thursday.


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## spaekle (Jul 2, 2009)

> works at the local High school as a science teacher and *astrology*


You've got to be kidding me.


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## see ya (Jul 2, 2009)

Sweet buttery God. This is exactly like those "example of everything you can do wrong" essays that English teachers give out.


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## Tarvos (Jul 2, 2009)

yes that is kind of the point


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## goldenquagsire (Jul 2, 2009)

haha the author' blog is funny.



> Your People want Freedom and to modernize not slavery and rule.





> Come join the rest of the world and behold the blessing’s of peace!





> You just want a New Free and Modernized Iran. Without all of the rebellion against the rest of world .





> To me the answer is simple take the blame from the employer, he didn’t do anything wrong. [...] My wife is not a lone on this one it involves the entire country. This is not a good system if you are afraid to file for any reason, but it could be a great system! All we have to do is fix it. I am also against anyone trying to get out of a claim by making people out to be fakes or phony’s. They do not deserve a guilt trip. This is ok if they really are fakes but if there are not and we condemn them. Not only would we be condemning them but we are condemning ourselves too. I just think this will create a witch hunt effect on sick people.  Lets not do this, lets fix the problem!


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## Jetx (Jul 2, 2009)

Haha, that's hilarious. Proof that everyone has a chance.


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## fresh fruit for Adol (Jul 2, 2009)

What is this I don't even--

I don't even find it funny, but just plain stupid.  You'd have to be a complete dumbass to publish something like that.  Simply put; I think I'm going to kill someone, most likely myself for reading even just that page..


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## Dinru (Jul 2, 2009)

Woah. That's just _dumb_. Although I think I used to have the same problem a few years ago. For some reason it just comes naturally to capitalize some random words.


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## J.T. (Jul 2, 2009)

I know a 7-year-old who writes better than this.

Oh this is priceless, there's a character named "Steve slavery". Fucking brilliant.


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## fresh fruit for Adol (Jul 2, 2009)

Dinru said:


> Woah. That's just _dumb_. Although I think I used to have the same problem a few years ago. For some reason it just comes naturally to capitalize some random words.


It's Almost As Irritating As When People Capitalize Every Word.  Possibly Even More.


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## Dinru (Jul 2, 2009)

Blazing Hearts said:


> It's Almost As Irritating As When People Capitalize Every Word.  Possibly Even More.


I Am Glad I broke That Habit. it Was Very Irritating :d


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## OrangeAipom (Jul 2, 2009)

I hope he doesn't Omit quotation marks for No Reason.


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## Crazy Linoone (Jul 2, 2009)

I think this Is the most Hilarious thing ever. 

Its probably self-Published, since Hopefully no publisher is dumb Enough to take this book.

Lets just Hope that it does not Become the next Eragon.


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## Ryan the Terrible (Jul 2, 2009)

This is pathetic. The government trusts this person? After he wrote _that_?


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## see ya (Jul 2, 2009)

Hematophyte said:


> This is pathetic. The government trusts this person? After he wrote _that_?


We can only hope that he's trying to be cute or avant-garde or something.


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## Vladimir Putin's LJ (Jul 2, 2009)

Yeah his style sucks but writing with weird grammar rules isn't unheard of in classics, like in some James Joyce and some others I can't be bothered to remember. Though they just used no punctuation or anything instead of capitalizing random words.


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## Shiny Grimer (Jul 2, 2009)

Could be a vanity press. :p



> The real payoff comes when one discovers that Dale M. Courtney is NOT in fact a 12-year-old, and apparently has the President's ear, giving his opinion on topics as diverse as the Iranian protests, healthcare, space exploration, globalization, and more, each with the same bizarre prose and mastery of creative capitalization.


Anyone can make an account there. I just made one now.


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## @lex (Jul 2, 2009)

D'aw, look at the LOVELY layout. My eyes are happy :) Let's not examine this further, huh?


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## Ether's Bane (Jul 2, 2009)

ThIs iS So Bad? aT leASt he!s nOt mIsPuNcTuAtInG"


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## foreign contaminant (Jul 3, 2009)

given how likely it is that i'll become an english teacher with the degree i may or may not obtain in college, this kind of makes me sad.

..but i can't help but laugh because things like this and my immortal exist. at least i know my writing could be worse.


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## J.T. (Jul 3, 2009)

Chucho said:


> I hope he doesn't Omit quotation marks for No Reason.


He doesn't use quotation marks, period. He distinguishes who's talking with parentheses.

(J.T.) Like this.
(Bob) Hey Jack.
(Jack) Sup.

Also, yes, it's self-published, according to the SA thread.


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## spaekle (Jul 3, 2009)

foreign contaminant said:


> ..but i can't help but laugh because things like this and my immortal exist. at least i know my writing could be worse.


I was wondering how long before someone referenced either that or Peter Chimaera. Although the latter actually _is_ a troll. :V


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## Dinru (Jul 3, 2009)

^ I refuse to accept that the girl who wrote My Immortal could be anything but a troll. Or that it's actually an elaborate parody.

For the lucky ones who don't know what My Immortal is, TV Tropes~ Trust me you don't want me to link to the fic itself.


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## foreign contaminant (Jul 3, 2009)

for some reason, i think tara gillespie is legitimate. but sometimes her behavior is a bit too good to be true.. i still hold out hope.

related to the topic, i actually wouldn't mind reading this. i survived my immortal, and shoddy writing while i was in yearbook.


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## J.T. (Jul 3, 2009)

Read some of My Immortal. I have never seen anyone butcher such a great series so horribly and ruthlessly. Oh god.

There is no way this is real. 



			
				the retard who wrote this craptasm said:
			
		

> I sed stup flaming ok ebony’s name is ENOBY nut mary su OK!


_No way._


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## Autumn (Jul 3, 2009)

J.T. said:


> _No way._


Agreed. I read a snippet of the crap and was just like "what the hell is this shit."

Back on topic: When I saw the title of the topic, I assumed that that was the name of the book and the book itself was a parody. I was saddened deeply when I found out it was real. D:


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## Music Dragon (Jul 3, 2009)

Why does this piss people off? I think it's pretty funny.


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## Tarvos (Jul 3, 2009)

hopefully people realise the guy is probably completely self-aware and being a prick on purpose


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## Aethelstan (Jul 3, 2009)

Music Dragon said:


> Why does this piss people off? I think it's pretty funny.


A lot of people who seem "pissed off" actually find it funny, it's just kind of disturbing or upsetting that someone was stupid enough to publish something like this.


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## Tarvos (Jul 3, 2009)

LIKE I SAID HE PROBABLY DID THIS ON PURPOSE

HE IS PROBABLY LAUGHING WHILE YOU DON'T GET IT


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## goldenquagsire (Jul 3, 2009)

Watershed said:


> LIKE I SAID HE PROBABLY DID THIS ON PURPOSE
> 
> HE IS PROBABLY LAUGHING WHILE YOU DON'T GET IT


that was probably the most expensive trolling ever done. :P


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## Tarvos (Jul 3, 2009)

i don't see why else he would do this


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## goldenquagsire (Jul 3, 2009)

well yeah sure, there's no other reason

but wasting all that money on publishing a book that'll probably only be heard of on the internet.

there's cheaper ways of trolling, y'know.


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## Tarvos (Jul 3, 2009)

well people actually *buy* it


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## Crazy Linoone (Jul 6, 2009)

Do they?


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## Sandstone-Shadow (Jul 6, 2009)

If it's supposed to be a joke, then I'd shake my head and chuckle.

If this is seriously an honest attempt by an author to write a readable piece of literature, then I'd scowl in frustration and wonder why in the world anyone would publish this (but it's self-published, or so everyone keeps saying). So there. But really it kind of makes me scowl, since I don't know that it's a joke.



Crazy Linoone said:


> Lets just Hope that it does not Become the next Eragon.


Eragon is grammatically correct.


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## Arkinea (Jul 10, 2009)

I...This is serious.
I'm getting my black suit and black umbrella and I'm going to stand outside in the rain and weep.

Maybe I'll learn Chinese. Is that where the future lies?


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## opaltiger (Jul 12, 2009)

> Eragon is grammatically correct.


Most of the time.


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## Autumn (Jul 12, 2009)

opaltiger said:


> Most of the time.


Where isn't it?


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## Shiny Grimer (Jul 15, 2009)

Arkinea said:


> Maybe I'll learn Chinese. Is that where the future lies?


No, the Chinese make grammatical mistakes as well.


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## #1 bro (Jul 19, 2009)

foreign contaminant said:


> for some reason, i think tara gillespie is legitimate. but sometimes her behavior is a bit too good to be true.. i still hold out hope.
> 
> related to the topic, i actually wouldn't mind reading this. i survived my immortal, and shoddy writing while i was in yearbook.





Dinru said:


> ^ I refuse to accept that the girl who wrote My Immortal could be anything but a troll. Or that it's actually an elaborate parody.
> 
> For the lucky ones who don't know what My Immortal is, TV Tropes~ Trust me you don't want me to link to the fic itself.


My Immortal is the funniest thing I have read in my entire life, and if anyone somehow thinks it's "painful" or "terrible" then stop being a drama queen. 

That being said, it almost certainly is a troll. For example, "Tara" always spells Sirius Black's name "Serious", but always spells the adjective serious "sirius".


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## spaekle (Jul 21, 2009)

My Immortal is hilarious, but I think Doom: Repercussions of Evil is better.


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