# 1,000 Things not to do on an airplane



## Kung Fu Ferret (Apr 6, 2014)

Similar to the Wal-Mart thread, but on a plane. WARNING: Could get crazy

1. Randomly scream "ADMIRAL ACKBAR!" at the top of your lungs


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## RespectTheBlade (Apr 7, 2014)

2. Enthusiastically greet your friend Jack midflight.


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## kyeugh (Apr 7, 2014)

Where's my essay! Oh, there you are! _[laughs]_ I must have dozed off.  Lets see where are we? Do I dare look at the clock..? _[gasps]_  It's almost 9 o' clock! Class starts in 5 minutes! How am I going to  write this whole paper in 5 minutes? How am I supposed to know what to  do in an airplane?? Feeding your snail is something not to do at a  stoplight!  And making a sandwich, and lighting candles,  and drinking water, and calling your friends, and karate chopping the  TV, and shooting the brief with the mailman, and fallin' asleep...  Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! I'm finished! 800 words! I'm finished! Here it is! Huh? Mrs. Puff? Where is everybody?


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## I liek Squirtles (Apr 7, 2014)

4. Go on a field trip, and throwing one of your students overboard.


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## Sven (Apr 7, 2014)

5. ask someone if they want to buy some drugs


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Apr 8, 2014)

6. Tell the pilot to do a barrel roll.


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## sv_01 (Apr 9, 2014)

7. Mumble the numbers from Lost to yourself over and over.


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## Vipera Magnifica (Apr 10, 2014)

8. Call me Shirley


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Apr 10, 2014)

9. Bring a wad of your nation's paper currency into the bathroom, and shout for one of your friends and when they enter the restroom start an awkward conversation about how green it is, Creeping out everyone on the entire flight .


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## I liek Squirtles (Apr 11, 2014)

10. Engage in an energetic conversation spoken only in Middle Eastern tongues.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Apr 12, 2014)

11. When about to get tasered by plane security for doing any of the above, run back and forth screaming "Fox, get this guy off me!"


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## I liek Squirtles (Apr 12, 2014)

12. If #11 happens to one of your friends, and they fall unconscious, don't scream "Fox? Fooooooooooox!"


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## Superbird (Apr 12, 2014)

13. Forsake the no-smoking signs. Bring two sticks on board and make your own fire. If they won't let you bring your lighter, you have the right to find suitable alternatives.

...When a large fire emerges from this act, blame the person in the seat next to you.


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## Keldeo (Apr 12, 2014)

14. When, after doing 13, said person sitting next to you protests, smother them with the complimentary pillow, if it's not on fire.


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## Vipera Magnifica (Apr 12, 2014)

15. If said pillow _is_ on fire, smother them with it anyway.


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## RespectTheBlade (Apr 13, 2014)

16. Provide a free seat-warming service, in the form of flaming complementary pillows.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Apr 23, 2014)

17. Eat your bag of peanuts, and when finished, say "Those peanuts were the bomb!"


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## Vholvek (Apr 29, 2014)

18. Go on with your friends about how everything on the airplane is _totally the bomb_.


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## LKWayvern (Apr 30, 2014)

19) Suddenly yell "It's Lord of the Flies all over again!" And demand that you're voted leader because you have the conch.


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## LadyJirachu (Aug 12, 2015)

20. Jump out, of course.

Espesally singing a really goofy tune. XD


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## Dragonair (Aug 20, 2015)

21. Panic about the left phalange being missing


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## Celestrial_Slayer (Aug 20, 2015)

22. Scream I'm tired of these damn snakes on this damn plane


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## LadyJirachu (Aug 21, 2015)

23. Flirt with the pilot! XD


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## Dragonair (Aug 21, 2015)

24. Take off your clothes in the pilot cabin


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## LadyJirachu (Aug 21, 2015)

25. Ask the pilot about their sexual background in a weird, judgey sort of way? XD;


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## Dragonair (Aug 21, 2015)

26. Inform the pilot that you are being attacked by a giant eagle


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## Vipera Magnifica (Aug 21, 2015)

27. Tamper with, disable, or destroy a restroom smoke detector


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## Dragonair (Aug 21, 2015)

28. Attack and kill another passenger


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## Celestrial_Slayer (Aug 22, 2015)

29. Jerk Off


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## Octane (Aug 23, 2015)

30. Play Straight Outta Compton full blast at midnight on a long haul flight


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## LadyJirachu (Aug 23, 2015)

31. Wet the seats XD


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## Dragonair (Aug 23, 2015)

32. Remove the engines. While it's in the air.


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## LadyJirachu (Aug 24, 2015)

33. Throw your food at random people XD


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Aug 24, 2015)

34. Fart loudly while 40,000 feet up and claim it was an angel.


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## Dragonair (Aug 25, 2015)

35. Challenge the flight attendant to a duel


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## I liek Squirtles (Aug 25, 2015)

36. Ask for a cup to piss in. When the flight attendant comes along, splash it in their face.


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## LadyJirachu (Nov 1, 2015)

Try to have a pokemon battle on your 3ds with the pilot, even if you know he's way too busy for that XD


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Nov 9, 2015)

38. Bring a mannequin on the flight that is dressed in a burqa....


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## Cynder (May 11, 2016)

40. Disable the landing gear


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## Stryke (May 11, 2016)

39. Take home your seat.


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## Cynder (May 11, 2016)

Oops should've put 39 instead of 40. Ah well...
41(I think). If you get injured, run around screaming about the Andromeda strain when it clots into a scab.


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## Stryke (May 11, 2016)

42. No cows on board.


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## Cynder (May 11, 2016)

43. Ask when you land in Hoenn (or another region)


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## Stryke (May 12, 2016)

44. No flashing fake foam fingers (that should cover my awesome allotted alliteration amount for the afternoon)


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## Sglod (May 20, 2016)

45. Start hitting the food tray as if it's a piano whilst shouting 'EELS. EELS. EELS.'


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## Kung Fu Ferret (May 20, 2016)

46. Offer the flight attendant a Turkish breathmint.


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## Cynder (May 20, 2016)

47. Offer the flight attendant a turkey.


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## Sglod (May 21, 2016)

48. Proclaim that you are the Dragonborn then try to rescue the passengers from the 'dragon's' belly by repeating slashing the walls with your sword.


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## Stryke (May 21, 2016)

49. Bring a white tiger on board and ride it up and down the aisles yelling "I AM THE KING! I AM THE KING!"


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## Kung Fu Ferret (May 21, 2016)

50. Bring a bunch of plastic snakes on board and hide them all over the plane.


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## RedneckPhoenix (Jun 29, 2016)

51. Poke the captain with your butterfly knife, then play "Free Falling" over the speakers.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Jul 13, 2016)

52. Bring a pony on board, and brush other people's teeth if their breath smells bad to you.


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## lasagnalover9 (Jul 16, 2016)

53. De-activate airplane mode just to reply to this post.


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## Sglod (Jul 17, 2016)

54. Divide by zero


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## Cynder (Jul 17, 2016)

55. Break the fourth wall.


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## audrey729 (Sep 21, 2016)

56. Stay on


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## RedneckPhoenix (Sep 21, 2016)

57. Buy a million Rosalina amiibos so nobody else can have them


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## audrey729 (Sep 22, 2016)

58. Throw your computer at the food cart when they don't have Coke products


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## Stryke (Sep 23, 2016)

59. Do not talk about Fight Club


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## RedneckPhoenix (Sep 23, 2016)

60. Talk about fight club with n00bs.


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## Stryke (Sep 23, 2016)

61. Do not talk about Fight Club.


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## audrey729 (Sep 24, 2016)

62. Call it an "aeroplane" when you're flying to New York


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## RedneckPhoenix (Sep 25, 2016)

63. Choose the fish.


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## audrey729 (Sep 25, 2016)

64. Drink milk


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## RedneckPhoenix (Sep 25, 2016)

65. Not understand when someone makes a hilarious Airplane reference.


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## audrey729 (Sep 26, 2016)

66.  "WOW."


AKA hang your mom upside down


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Sep 28, 2016)

67. Pluck a screaming baby from a nearby seat and start re-enacting "The Circle of Life" scene from The Lion King.


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## Stryke (Sep 29, 2016)

68. Stand on top of the beverage cart and roll down the aisle while saying "Onward, my faithful steed!!!"


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## Sglod (Sep 29, 2016)

69. <------ that :)

(Sorry, couldn't resist...)


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## audrey729 (Sep 30, 2016)

70. Start a food fight


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## RedneckPhoenix (Sep 30, 2016)

71. Start to fight food.


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## audrey729 (Sep 30, 2016)

72. Fight to start food.


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## RedneckPhoenix (Sep 30, 2016)

73. Food to start fight


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## Sglod (Oct 1, 2016)

74. Mess up the syntax


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## RedneckPhoenix (Oct 1, 2016)

75.  Captchalogue the pilot.


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## audrey729 (Oct 1, 2016)

76. Eat more chicken.


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## Stryke (Oct 2, 2016)

77. Rickroll the pilot


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## audrey729 (Oct 3, 2016)

77. Say what??


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## RedneckPhoenix (Oct 3, 2016)

78. Anxiously check your watch very often. Tap feet for added effect.


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## audrey729 (Oct 4, 2016)

79. Look out the window


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## Stryke (Oct 4, 2016)

80. Repeat a rule number twice *cough cough* 77 *cough*


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## audrey729 (Oct 6, 2016)

82. Skip your [flight] number for fun


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## Monoking (Oct 9, 2016)

81. eat the airplane piece by piece


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## audrey729 (Oct 9, 2016)

82. Chase butterflies


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## RedneckPhoenix (Oct 11, 2016)

83. Enjoy a good book. Add seasoning if necessary. Garnish with a stalk of basil. And pair it with the finest beverage on board.


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## audrey729 (Oct 13, 2016)

85. Look at "spoopy" dogs


And the number is at 85 in order to catch up with what the real number would be. (I accidentally skipped one earlier)


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## Shut the Hell Up (Nov 9, 2016)

Burp loudly after gulping down too much soda in one sip.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Nov 9, 2016)

87. Watch porn


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## RedneckPhoenix (Nov 10, 2016)

88. Not vote for vermin supreme


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Nov 10, 2016)

89. Bring a pony on the flight and insist that you're a centaur.


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## Raiden (Nov 18, 2016)

90. Sit on a bomb. ...Like Munchhausen and his cannonball.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Dec 11, 2016)

91. Speak only in Klingon


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## audrey729 (Feb 22, 2017)

92. Kill a pumpkin.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Mar 25, 2017)

94. Build a wall


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## LadyJirachu (Mar 25, 2017)

95. Make out with random cute men :P


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## RedneckPhoenix (Mar 26, 2017)

96. Build two walls


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## LadyJirachu (Mar 26, 2017)

97. Force Palm people :P


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## Philip Grabban (Aug 16, 2019)

98. Get into fights with people.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Aug 17, 2019)

99. Throw the pilot off the plane and say "Long live the king"


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## LadyJirachu (Aug 26, 2019)

100. Paint the walls a super bright shade of pink that hurts other peoples eyes lol


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## BananaBread127 (Aug 29, 2019)

101. Use Perish Song.


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## LadyJirachu (Aug 31, 2019)

102. Steal peoples coffees xD


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## haneko (Oct 29, 2019)

103. Use Toxic Gas


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## LadyJirachu (Nov 25, 2019)

104. Use kung fu moves on everyone to beat them into doing whatever you want muwahahahahahahahaha

This is a good one :P


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