# You are [x belief system]. Your significant other is [y belief system].



## Harlequin (Mar 20, 2009)

Would you convert to your significant other's religion (or lack thereof)?


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## Tailsy (Mar 20, 2009)

Of course not! It shouldn't matter to them what my religious beliefs are, unless we're getting married I guess* so I just wouldn't really mention it.

*We're not doing it in a church man

ETA: Besides, I don't think it's really anybody's business to intervene in what you believe in :x If my partner was a hardcore Protestant my mum would kill the poor man it shouldn't really matter to me because I fell in love with everything about him, including his religion. I guess. Something silly like that.


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## surskitty (Mar 20, 2009)

Definitely not, excluding unrelated decisions to convert, and I wouldn't expect them to convert away.  Unless e was a Scientologist, but then there are other problems.


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## Zora of Termina (Mar 21, 2009)

surskitty's post pretty much.

I would not convert to x religion because of him, nor would I expect him to convert to my (significant lack of) religion.


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## Negrek (Mar 21, 2009)

Nope. The only way I would even remotely consider it would be if his family was ultra-somethingorother and would shun him/us forever if he married outside their belief system and he wouldn't be down with that. Other than that, don't really see any reason to; might just be me being naive, though.


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## Departure Song (Mar 21, 2009)

My significant other is an idiot.


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## spaekle (Mar 21, 2009)

I couldn't see myself putting up with anyone who tries to convert me to anything for more than ten minutes.

If they were religious but kept it to themselves, I'd be cool with that, but they might end up getting annoyed at _me_ when x group of radicals pisses me off and I start hatin' on religion in general. It's a bad habit. :[


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## octobr (Mar 21, 2009)

Why should I, multicultural/ethnical/religical/x-ical households are the shit. What if we celebrated Hanukkah AND Christmas? MORE PRESENTS FOR ALL!


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## Storm Earth and Fire (Mar 21, 2009)

Unless it's something that is just completely different from Buddhism (or other Dharmic/Vedic religions, in which case the answer is no, but honestly show me an example of such a religion.), I'd probably end up syncretizing with my signifigant other's beliefs.

So I suppose the answer is... Yes and no? At the same time?

On the flip side, Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and the like are pluralistic. So I don't expect anything of my signifigant other besides respect.


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## Keltena (Mar 21, 2009)

Nope. I'm not expecting anyone to convert, and if they expect me to convert to their religion, why would they even be my significant other?


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## Alxprit (Mar 21, 2009)

No way. My mother would kill me.


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## Felidire (Mar 21, 2009)

Hell no, i'd try and talk some sense into them. lmao. xD

I think smart and open-minded people are much more attractive, I couldn't see myself ever ending up with someone who was like a.. religious-zombie?


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## J.T. (Mar 21, 2009)

I wouldn't expect for a second for my significant other to change their beliefs to match mine, and in return, they shouldn't expect me to change mine to match theirs. If there's a problem involving religion that gets in the way of our relationship and they're willing to hold it above me, then I'll go out with a "t(-.-t)" and find someone else.


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## Dinru (Mar 21, 2009)

No, no, no. I am welcome to being educated about their religious customs if I ask and e is okay with it and stuff, but I ain't converting for anyone, sorry. I also don't' expect to convert anyone, so yeah. People who would convert for a significant other probably aren't too dedicated to their first religion anyway imho...


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## Aenrhien (Mar 21, 2009)

No, but I wouldn't expect them to convert to mine either, so it balances.


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## Zhorken (Mar 21, 2009)

I won't end up with a theist.  Chances are I won't end up with someone who formally subscribes to any belief system instead of just believing things without labeling them as part of some preset; if I do, it won't be one that will cause the person to try to convert me anyway.

Might end up with a buddhist or something I guess.  I won't become one.


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## OrangeAipom (Mar 21, 2009)

No, because I don't see the point of having a religion. Plus it's not good to lie to yourself and stuff.


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## ultraviolet (Mar 21, 2009)

No, and neither me or my significant other would care (if he was my significant other).


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## goldenquagsire (Mar 21, 2009)

Zhorken said:


> I won't end up with a theist.  Chances are I won't end up with someone who formally subscribes to any belief system instead of just believing things without labeling them as part of some preset; if I do, it won't be one that will cause the person to try to convert me anyway.
> 
> Might end up with a buddhist or something I guess. I won't become one.


This, basically. I'd probably just disagree with theists on too many issues to be a decent boyfriend.


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## Amoeba (Mar 21, 2009)

Well, being in that position I can safely say I am not going to convert. He talks about it a bit, but doesn't really try to convert me (he just tells me the reasoning behind his point of view and it often boils down to his religion).

I don't know what will happen long term though. It's been 3 years now, I don't ever want to get married - he does. I don't ever want kids - he does. If I were to have kids I would not want them to be raised into religion, and instead decide for themselves when they get old enough. My boyfriend would probably want them raised into his religion.

Compramise can be iffy in this situation. My lack of religion sometimes baffles him too, he just can't wrap his head around how I can think that everything and everyone was not created, but happened naturally.


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## Almost Eric (Mar 21, 2009)

No way.

If religion is that important to them then they should go out and find another SO because it really won't work with me if you shove it down my throat/try to get me to convert.

I'm happy not caring about having religion or a God in my life, leave me alone argh.

ETA: I would be perfectly fine with dating a religious person, as long as they don't push it on me FYI


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## Saith (Mar 21, 2009)

No, but that's only because I don't see how religion works, as in, why must I do x, not y, follow this rule not that one, all that. (Although LeVayanism is much easier to follow, I don't count myself as one (I'm just an egotistical humanist)).

Short answer: No.


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## Minish (Mar 21, 2009)

I probably wouldn't have a significant other of a different belief system. o.o It's like with interests, I wouldn't get with someone who had completely different interests, and I wouldn't get with someone who had completely different beliefs.

Unless of course, my significant other was an atheist or agnostic, I'm just talking about if I hooked up with a Catholic or something. I just really don't see that happening. XD


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## Jolty (Mar 21, 2009)

No I wouldn't

I was with a catholic dude once and his thing about having a large family & never using contraception was like... hell no


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## nothing to see here (Mar 21, 2009)

Nope.  I know this from personal experience, since it's actually the reason why the one "attempted relationship" I've had didn't get anywhere.

I also wouldn't try to "de-convert" anyone if they happened to be religious, because honestly that would be *just as bad* as the conversion attempts.  Whatever belief (or lack thereof) somebody has is okay as long as they don't go around forcing it on everyone else.


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## Jason-Kun (Mar 21, 2009)

No. Being the agnositic that I am as well as..well me I'd probably poke fun at her religion, causing issues. I honestly can't see myself with anyoe religious.


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## Mirry (Mar 23, 2009)

Fuck no.

God forbid I end up marrying a religious person (yes I realize that sentence is a bit ironic). Because I'd just be annoyed all the time at my mate's gullibility. And if he tried to convert me, I'd probably be doubly annoyed. So it probably wouldn't work out.


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## voltianqueen (Mar 29, 2009)

No, I wouldn't. Being an atheist makes me smile.


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## Dewgong (Mar 29, 2009)

No, but I wouldn't end up with a theist. Especially not marrying one.

I'm not converting anyone, nobody is converting me.


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## Vladimir Putin's LJ (Mar 29, 2009)

I think everyone who's going HAHA IF MY POTENTIAL PARTNER WAS RELIGIOUS THEY'D BE SUCH A FOOL LOL and whining about convertion are being cocks. This is exactly the way hardcore religious people act about us and again exactly why we'll _never_ get along. Christ. I'd say the same thing if there were any Christians being dicks here but the *only ones *to this in this thread have been atheists.

Sure, if he just believed in a god but was otherwise very suitable, I'd ignore his small flaw and he'd ignore mine and we'd both live quite happily, each convinced we're right in our beliefs. I probably wouldn't want to convert but if he's Jewish I would totally pretend to be to rock that Jewish wedding.

I mean you really just have to dodge around the specific topic of their religion, it's not hard. One's religious beliefs aren't the defining thing in one's character, and if they are then one is, as they say, a weirdo.


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## Not Meowth (Mar 29, 2009)

I don't really see how this would really work, since in all probability you'd just be converting to said belief system because you feel you have to, or want to to make your partner happy, rather than because you actually believe in that system.


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## Minish (Mar 29, 2009)

Vladimir Putin's LJ said:


> I think everyone who's going HAHA IF MY POTENTIAL PARTNER WAS RELIGIOUS THEY'D BE SUCH A FOOL LOL and whining about convertion are being cocks. This is exactly the way hardcore religious people act about us and again exactly why we'll _never_ get along. Christ. I'd say the same thing if there were any Christians being dicks here but the *only ones *to this in this thread have been atheists.
> 
> Sure, if he just believed in a god but was otherwise very suitable, I'd ignore his small flaw and he'd ignore mine and we'd both live quite happily, each convinced we're right in our beliefs. I probably wouldn't want to convert but if he's Jewish I would totally pretend to be to rock that Jewish wedding.
> 
> I mean you really just have to dodge around the specific topic of their religion, it's not hard. One's religious beliefs aren't the defining thing in one's character, and if they are then one is, as they say, a weirdo.


I don't think they'd be a fool, I just think I probably wouldn't get with someone with drastically different beliefs to me. I wouldn't get with someone who _votes for the Conservative party_, so yeah. Call me picky but yeah.

Then again I've never gone out with someone who has a religion, so I don't know. Perhaps - if they were interested in discussing religions and that kind of thing without thinking their religion was the only thing that could be - I would still feel attracted to them. But a born-and-raised-and-believing Catholic? No way.


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## Dannichu (Mar 29, 2009)

I think pretty much everything VPLJ said. Analogytime!

I can't stand (what's the most obscure thing I can think of?) knitting. If I fell in love with someone who loved knitting, it wouldn't be the be-all and end-all; every week, she could go to her crazy knitting classes and I'd sit around at home, doing other stuff that I enjoyed. I wouldn't go to her knitting classes, but I wouldn't try and tell her that knitting is a stupid waste of time (because if it's something she likes, who am I to complain?), and she wouldn't mind that I personally find knitting a boring waste of time and she wouldn't try and drag me along to her classes. 

I'd do this because just because someone likes knitting doesn't mean they can't also like things like gaming, drawing, sleeping late and other things that I also enjoy. It also doesn't mean that they're not kind, considerate and respectful, which is even more important in a relationship.

Analogy over. Which is a shame, because I was getting really attached to my fake knitting girlfriend ):


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## Harlequin (Mar 29, 2009)

To be fair, religion is a bit more serious than knitting. What about when it comes down to the children? The religious person will want them to be involved in worship etc but the irreligious person will not.


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## Dannichu (Mar 29, 2009)

It's not that big a deal. Tell the kid "Parent A belives in X, but Parent B doesn't." Then let the kid make its own choices. It worked for my parents and me.


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## Harlequin (Mar 30, 2009)

That might work for some couples but I really don't see it working for everyone. Belief in a deity versus lack of belief in a deity are two literally opposite things, and not everyone will want to say "I believe _x_ but _other parent_ doesn't." and that often won't work - the child will just pick the beliefs of the parent it likes the most. 

Religion has the capacity to make otherwise rational people do incredibly crazy things, and when you add children into the mix you get a volatile solution. I've read stories where one partner's lack of religion has town the family in two.


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## Tarvos (Mar 30, 2009)

Vladimir Putin's LJ said:


> I think everyone who's going HAHA IF MY POTENTIAL PARTNER WAS RELIGIOUS THEY'D BE SUCH A FOOL LOL and whining about convertion are being cocks. This is exactly the way hardcore religious people act about us and again exactly why we'll _never_ get along. Christ. I'd say the same thing if there were any Christians being dicks here but the *only ones *to this in this thread have been atheists.
> 
> Sure, if he just believed in a god but was otherwise very suitable, I'd ignore his small flaw and he'd ignore mine and we'd both live quite happily, each convinced we're right in our beliefs. I probably wouldn't want to convert but if he's Jewish I would totally pretend to be to rock that Jewish wedding.
> 
> I mean you really just have to dodge around the specific topic of their religion, it's not hard. One's religious beliefs aren't the defining thing in one's character, and if they are then one is, as they say, a weirdo.


This


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## Dannichu (Mar 30, 2009)

Harlequin said:


> That might work for some couples but I really don't see it working for everyone. Belief in a deity versus lack of belief in a deity are two literally opposite things, and not everyone will want to say "I believe _x_ but _other parent_ doesn't." and that often won't work - the child will just pick the beliefs of the parent it likes the most.
> 
> Religion has the capacity to make otherwise rational people do incredibly crazy things, and when you add children into the mix you get a volatile solution. I've read stories where one partner's lack of religion has town the family in two.


Lots of things have the capacity to make rational people do crazy things. I could name lots of examples from my own family, but I won't.

I've read stories where one partner's obsession with golf has torn the family in two. I've heard stories where issues surrounding the family pet have torn the family in two. I've seen families be torn apart because of money and issues relating to it. If you think that, because another family have had problems regarding _something_ before, the same thing might do the same to you and the solution is to just remove the _something _from your lives... I don't think there'll be anything left.

People really underestimate children's abilities to choose for themselves. They're capable of choosing what's best for themselves and don't automatically pick whatever option's offered by the person they like best.


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## Vladimir Putin's LJ (Mar 30, 2009)

Dannichu said:


> I'd do this because just because someone likes knitting doesn't mean they can't also like things like gaming, drawing, sleeping late and other things that I also enjoy. It also doesn't mean that they're not kind, considerate and respectful, which is even more important in a relationship.


She could also make you some bitchin' sweaters for free.


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## Dannichu (Mar 30, 2009)

I was actually thinking scarves, but that works too :D


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## xkze (Mar 30, 2009)

absolutely not, under any circumstances.

conflicting religions (/lack of religions) in relationships are also hard to bear after a while
so I just tend to find people who can agree with me

I could never be in a relationship with like.. a young-earth creationist. No matter how pretty or nice or smart she seemed. It just.. wouldn't work.


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## Butterfree (Mar 30, 2009)

I couldn't just decide "Oh, my significant other believes this, so I'm going to believe it too." Honestly, I find it decidedly odd that anybody could. You don't _really_ believe in your religion if you could change it as a simple convenience, do you?

EDIT: Also, my dad is an atheist and my mom a sort of Christian-Buddhist-personal-flavor thing. They also have different (though not drastically so) political opinions. They get along fine and we the kids have turned out just fine in an upbringing that made so little mention of religion that for the longest time I had no idea about their beliefs. In general I don't think people should indoctrinate their children, religiously or otherwise. Just make it clear to them that there are all sorts of different religious beliefs, teach them reasonable tolerance and critical thinking, and tell them your own beliefs if it becomes relevant. That should work fine even if the couple has different beliefs.


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## ZimD (Apr 5, 2009)

if they wanted me to convert for them, they wouldn't be my significant other.


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