# Bad Genie!



## ValyceNegative (Aug 12, 2022)

You found a magic lamp! Upon stroking it, a genie comes out. You're granted one wish; little you do know, every single thing you ask for will be slightly tweaked by the genie, making you instantly regret your choice.

E.g.: Poster 1 goes: "I wish for superpowers!"
Poster 2 replies: "Granted! Your superpower is laser vision, but only when your eyes are closed. They obliterate your eyelids instantly. :V
I wish for... endless money!"
And so on!

Let's start: I wish for a vacation overseas!


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Aug 12, 2022)

Granted. Welcome to Antarctica! Don't mind the penguins!

I wish I was ruler of my country.


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## ValyceNegative (Aug 12, 2022)

Wish granted! You're the ruler of your own country, a teeny tiny deserted island: you're the only citizen.

I wish my room would tidy up by itself!


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Aug 12, 2022)

Granted but you lose everything 

I wish could travel back in time to save Harambe


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## ValyceNegative (Aug 13, 2022)

Harambe lives! But turns out he's a "pineapple on pizza" apologist. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wish I could meet my celebrity crush.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Aug 13, 2022)

I actually like pineapple on pizza. Also Harambe was a gorilla btw.

Granted, they're a lousy person . 

I wish covid would buzz all the way off


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## ValyceNegative (Aug 14, 2022)

(Out of game: pineapple used to flavour meats, especially ham, works perfectly imo. Maybe it's the tomato+cheese pizza base that throws people off? And yeah I know Harambe! I remember when Internet went crazy over that.)

Aack. Never meet your heroes :c

Wish granted! Covid *as a disease* has gone. Covid is now the name of a giant lovecraftian monster terrorizing nations D:

Hhm. I wish for a new source of renewable energy that could save us from enviroinmental crisis.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Aug 14, 2022)

Granted.  It's nuclear energy, which lots of people are scared of. 

I wish my dog was immortal


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## ValyceNegative (Aug 17, 2022)

Granted! Doggy is immortal, but not immune to aging and organic decay.

I wish my city had more green.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Aug 17, 2022)

Granted,  but it's that go away green Disney parks use for restricted areas 

I wish I was a zookeeper


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## ValyceNegative (Aug 19, 2022)

Granted, somehow the lions always find a way to lock you into their cage. Dinner time!

I wish I could complete my drawings instantly just by imagining them.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Aug 19, 2022)

Granted.  But you're constantly disappointed. 

I wish my neighbors would stop slamming the doors so much


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## A_Polished_Scyther (Aug 22, 2022)

Granted, but now they've begun blasting music at two in the morning when you're trying to sleep. Oh, and they're still slamming the doors, except not as often.

I wish for the genie to stop tampering with the wishes. _Not today, Mr. Monkey's Paw._ lol


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Aug 22, 2022)

Granted,  but now it's an even worse genie.

I wish Kanye West would just admit to being a gay fish


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## ValyceNegative (Aug 27, 2022)

The genie grants this by turning Kanye into a gay fish. And everyone else too. Do you like fish sticks now? :P

I wish Facebook never existed.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Aug 27, 2022)

Granted but all the minion memes plague Twitter instead.

I wish for caffeine


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## ValyceNegative (Aug 29, 2022)

Granted! They put a teaspoon of salt instead of sugar. >:C

I wish for a softer pillow.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Aug 30, 2022)

Granted,  but it's never cool on any side.

I wish I would stop procrastinating


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## ValyceNegative (Sep 1, 2022)

Granted, now you will never be able to sit still and rest anymore. :3c

I wish for mosquitoes to disappear forever, I'm sick of them!


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Sep 1, 2022)

Granted, but ecological collapse is imminent!

I wish for revenge,  don't ask


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## ValyceNegative (Sep 9, 2022)

Granted, the person you wished revenge on has been informed about it, not sure when or if they'll strike first.
(I'm not sure if I properly ruined this wish. >.> )

Hey genie, how about I wish for a pizza? :)


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Sep 9, 2022)

Granted,  but it's got pineapple depending on how you feel about it 

I wish cars ran on farts


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## ValyceNegative (Sep 13, 2022)

Granted. All the smell stays inside the car tho. 

I wish for a cool new t-shirt.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Sep 19, 2022)

Granted.  It's ice-cold! 

I wish for memes


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## ValyceNegative (Sep 23, 2022)

Granted, they're from 2007!

I wish for a new stereo!


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Sep 23, 2022)

I don't mind old memes, lol!

Granted but the stereo only plays one song.  Never Gonna Give You Up!

I wish for cats


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## ValyceNegative (Sep 30, 2022)

I unironically have a couple Rick Astley albums. Thanks genie! :P

Cats are granted! They're big cats. They're tigers.

I wish my clients would respond to emails in a more timely manner.


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Sep 30, 2022)

Granted but it's always gibberish 

I wish for the time line to change to the good one


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## ValyceNegative (Oct 8, 2022)

Heh, that's what I usually get from their responses already, so...

Granted! The new timeline has everybody living in a wealthier, healtier world... in which Nintendo doesn't exist though.

Genie! Have we wished for real Pokèmon yet?


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## Kung Fu Ferret (Oct 8, 2022)

The genie is hard of hearing and thought you said Digimon. I for one would love my own Digimon partner!

I wish I could Thanos snap all my problems away


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## Octavio (Dec 2, 2022)

Granted, but your problems come back the very next day and worse!

I wish Bill Cipher was real


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