# Recipes



## Blastoise Fortooate (Dec 19, 2010)

Here is a place to post impromptu instructions about how to make things that you enjoy to eat/drink, so that we may all partake in your joy. Here, I'll start:

Mix together ~one part ginger ale with ~two parts sweet tea. It's _delicious_. I'm hoping it'll help my stomach as well. I'm sure green tea would work as a substitute. :)


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## Superbird (Dec 19, 2010)

Hmm. Looks promising.

*reads off back of box of Brownie mix*

Ingredients: 
1 large egg
1 pack br—


No, screw that. How about this?

Ingredients:

1 lb. Ground Beef
1/2 an onion or a small onion, etc.
2 cups of Elbow Macaroni (generosity can be afforded)
16 oz. Tomato Sauce
2 (generous) cups of shredded Cheddar Cheese [It's okay to substitute other cheeses if Cheddar is unavailable]
1 tsp. of Basil
1 tsp. of Oregano
1/2 tsp. of Salt
Pepper, to taste

Now, class, we will not be cooking this in the oven. Instead, we will be doing it on the stove. So first...

Get out a pot, fill it with water, and put it on a burner (preferably with a lid) and when it boils, put in the elbow macaroni. Leave them on for about 8-10 minutes, stirring them periodically to ensure they don't stick to the inside of the pot, and remove them when you think they're soft enough (scoop one or two out, and chew it to check this). When the macaroni is ready, dump it all out, and strain the noodles, preferably with a strainer, over the sink. We will add the noodles to this dish soon enough, but first the following has to happen.

Now, it is recommended that you cover this part of the recipe while the noodles are in the process (that includes while the water is boiling), as it saves great amounts of time. Get out a pretty large frying pan, maybe thirteen inches diameter or so. Put it on another burner, setting that one about halfway to full temperature. Empty the ground beef into it (make sure it's in very small chunks, ripped apart from itself many, many times). When the beef is all brown and the fat starts bubbling, take it off of the burner and drain all of the fat from it. Now I'll leave how to drain the fat up to do, but when you're done put the meat back into the frying pan and put it back on the burner, turning said burner to "low" or about 15%. Add the tomato sauce to the meat (just pour it on), then add the basil and the oregano. Mix all of that together with a few revolutions of the ol' wooden spoon.

We're nearing the end now. Finally, when both the meat and the macaroni are done, empty and mix the macaroni into the frying pan with the meat. Make sure they're mixed. It's best if you get both the previous paragraphs done at about the same time so that the noodles are still warm. Anyway, once you've mixed in the noodles, it's time to add the best part—the cheese! Pour the generous two cups of cheese into the frying pan and mix it all together. Then just give it a moment to melt and you're done!


Make sure your frying pan is big enough to hold it all, though!


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## Barubu (Dec 19, 2010)

This isn't even my recipe, but *go to Starbuck's, order the chocolate milk, and enjoy your heaven in a cup for a while.*

But, I like to mix 1/2 Dr. Pepper with 1/2 Coca Cola. >:P


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## Worst Username Ever (Dec 19, 2010)

Guess I could share my choco-banana shake.

1 dl milk, 2 spoons of chocolate milk powder(or 1 dl chocolate milk)
1 banana
2 scoops of vanilla ice cream
1 teaspoon of cinnamon

Put in a blender and mix together.


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## Teh Ebil Snorlax (Dec 19, 2010)

*Rashers- and Egg-Fried Rice*

Ingredients:

As much rice as you want
As many eggs as you want
As many rashers as you want
A drop of milk
Salt
Pepper

(Pretty laissez-faire recipe, I know)

1. Beat the eggs, milk, salt and pepper in a jug and leave to one side.
2. Dice the rashers.
3. Boil a kettle of water and put the rice on the boil.
4. Scramble the eggs in a wok, leave in bowl to one side.
5. Wash wok.
6. Fry rashers in wok, leave on plate to one side.
7. Strain rice, fry on wok.
8. Add rashers to rice and fry further.
9. Add eggs to rice and fry further.
10. Serve on a plate.


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## goldenquagsire (Dec 20, 2010)

here's a neat trick I learned. you know those 'poached eggs' most people make, with those little plastic egg poacher things? that's a pale imitation of real poached egg.

1. get a saucepan, fill it with hot water and get it boiling
2. chuck in vinegar (quite a sizable amount is best)
3. stir the water vigorously to make a whirlpool
4. crack an egg into the middle of the pan
5. if you do it right, the egg white should wrap around the yolk like a blanket
6. fish it out when the white looks cooked

you now have god-tier poached egg.


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## Clover (Dec 20, 2010)

I hate chocolate milk.

Let's see, what do I know. Onion rings: chop a bunch of onions into rings, dunk them in an equal mix of flour and water with a dash each of baking powder and vinegar, and fry. Serve with salt. Chicken nuggets: s/onions/chicken breasts/, s/rings/cubes/.


Lemon pepper chicken with rice:

all the chicken breasts what'll fit in a 9x13
a cup and a half of white rice
a can of chicken broth or two cups of hot water with chicken bouillon (I spelled that word wrong once in a spelling bee and have never spelled it wrong again >()
stick of butter
lemon pepper

Stick the breasts in the pan and stick the broth in the pan and stick the lemon pepper all over that chicken. No, more. Okay. Now stick the pan in the three-fifty oven for twenty minutes. Now get it out of there and flip those breasts, that's what she said. Stick that rice right in there. Be sure it's all under the water, kay? And melt that butter and get that butter in there. And now pepper those breasts up on that side.

Stick the pan back in there for another twenty minutes, but tear off some aluminium foil and throw that loosely on there while it's in there. Then check it again after that timer goes off; if there's too much water, take off the foil, but if you don't see any, leave it on. Make your best judgement, yanno. Finally, another twenty minutes, for an hour of cooking time in all. Serves a family, plus lunch the next day.


Chicken jambalaya:
FIND THIS, FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS ON BACK
so good


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## Teh Ebil Snorlax (Dec 20, 2010)

goldenquagsire said:


> here's a neat trick I learned. you know those 'poached eggs' most people make, with those little plastic egg poacher things? that's a pale imitation of real poached egg.
> 
> 1. get a saucepan, fill it with hot water and get it boiling
> 2. chuck in vinegar (quite a sizable amount is best)
> ...


I didn't realise there was any other way to make a poached egg. What are these "plastic egg poacher things" you speak of?

To be honest, it kind of saddens me that anyone would have to be informed that this is how to make a poached egg.


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## Green (Dec 20, 2010)

How to make ice:

Go buy some.


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## ignore_this_acct (Dec 20, 2010)

St. Christopher said:


> How to make ice:
> 
> Go buy some.


But store bought ice has no heart put into it. 

In order to make homemade ice you pour water into a bowl and you chill it in the freezer for a few hours.

*Hot Cocoa*

2 TBSP Cocoa powder
2 TBSP Sugar
1.5 Cups milk
Stove top
Boil the milk and mix in the dry ingredients until disheveled.
Pour into a cup or drink from the pot, if desired. 
Microwave
In one mug, combine dry ingredients. set aside.
In another mug, pour milk into it, put in the microwave and nuke it until it boils or explodes.
Pour milk into the other mug.
Enjoy.


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## Aisling (Dec 20, 2010)

Pinestar said:


> But store bought ice has no heart put into it.
> 
> In order to make homemade ice you pour water into a bowl and you chill it in the freezer for a few hours.


wh...

How do you fit that into a Dixie cup? What's wrong with ice cube trays?

Uh, I don't really know any recipes but I like adding milk to my chicken ramen sometimes. I cut out a recipe from a magazine in my food and nutrition class for some really good tomato soup with bleu cheese but I kinda lost it since I first used it. >:


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## ultraviolet (Dec 20, 2010)

best brownies you will ever eat, bitches

Ingredients:
250g butter 
½ cup cocoa
1 ½ cups sugar 
4 eggs
1 cup flour 
1 tsp baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla essence

Melt butter (microwave) in a bowl large enough to mix all ingredients. Mix in cocoa, stir in sugar. Add eggs one at a time, making sure each egg is mixed in with a wooden spoon before adding the next (if the mixture looks very wet at this point, don’t worry). Sift flour and baking powder into the mixture. Add vanilla essence and mix to combine. Pour into a greased, lamington baking tray. Bake at 180°C for 25 to 30 minutes, until brownie springs back when lightly touched, or a skewer comes out clean. Cut into bars while still warm.
Note: The original recipe recommends chocolate icing, but these are very rich. They do work well with chocolate chips added into the mixture, but they do sink to the bottom when in the baking tray.




			
				St. Christopher said:
			
		

> How to make ice:
> 
> Go buy some.


1) or you could... use a freezer
2) that isn't a recipe
3) who would possibly not know how to make_ ice_


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## RespectTheBlade (Dec 20, 2010)

Alraune said:


> wh...
> 
> How do you fit that into a Dixie cup? What's wrong with ice cube trays?


Simply put, cubes are a bit boring. Spheres, now there's an interesting idea.

Well here's mine.

Green Bean Casserole (a lot better than it sounds.)


2 cans of cream of mushroom soup
8 cups (approx 3 cans) of green beans
3 cups of french fried onions
1 cup milk (any kind)
 a small amount of pepper (about 1/4 a teaspoon)

Mix together green beans, cream of mushroom soup, milk, peper and 1 1/2 cups of onions an oven-safe baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes, then take out and stir. Top with the remaining onions, and then bake for 5 more mins. Serves about...six, I think.

Also, I find it really good if you mix three parts sweetened iced tea with one part Sprite/Sierra Mist/Ginger Ale. it tastes fizzy, but it still retains the tast of the tea.


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## Music Dragon (Dec 20, 2010)

one 18.25 ounce chocolate cake mix
 one can prepared coconut pecan frosting
 3/4 cup vegetable oil
 4 large eggs
 one cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
 3/4 cup butter or margarine
 1 2/3 cups granulated sugar
 2 cups all-purpose flour
Don't forget garnishes such as:


 fish shaped crackers
 fish shaped candies
 fish shaped solid waste
 fish shaped dirt
 fish shaped ethylbenzene
 pull n' peel licorice
 fish shaped volatile organic compounds
sediment shaped sediment
 candy coated peanut butter pieces; shaped like fish
 one cup lemon juice
 alpha resins
 unsaturated polyester resin
 fibreglass surface resins
 volatile malted milk impoundments
 9 large egg yokes
 12 medium geosynthetic membranes
 one cup granulated sugar
 an entry called: "How To Kill Someone With Your Bare Hands"
 2 cups rhubarb; sliced
 2/3 cup granulated rhubarb
 1 tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb
 1 teaspoon grated orange rhubarb
 3 tablespoons rhubarb; on fire
 1 large rhubarb
 1 cross Bohr hole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
 2 tablespoons rhubarb juice
 adjustable aluminium head positioned
 slaughter electric needle injector
 cordless electric needle injector
 injector needle driver
 injector needle gun
 cranial caps
and it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.


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## Not Meowth (Dec 21, 2010)

1. burn bread
2. eat bread


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## goldenquagsire (Dec 21, 2010)

Teh Ebil Snorlax said:


> I didn't realise there was any other way to make a poached egg. What are these "plastic egg poacher things" you speak of?
> 
> To be honest, it kind of saddens me that anyone would have to be informed that this is how to make a poached egg.


these kind of things. they make really horrible poached eggs, but they're easier than the traditional method I guess. :/

and you'd be surprised! when my school was doing a cookery course for general studies, we made these for one of our side dishes and everyone was like "NO WAI THIS IS HOW YOU POACH EGGS???". so, yes.


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## Teh Ebil Snorlax (Dec 22, 2010)

goldenquagsire said:


> these kind of things. they make really horrible poached eggs, but they're easier than the traditional method I guess. :/
> 
> and you'd be surprised! when my school was doing a cookery course for general studies, we made these for one of our side dishes and everyone was like "NO WAI THIS IS HOW YOU POACH EGGS???". so, yes.


:(

Sadface for the slow, painful death of the culinary arts and the triumph of the culture of convenience.


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## Dannichu (Dec 22, 2010)

Teh Ebil Snorlax said:


> :(
> 
> Sadface for the slow, painful death of the culinary arts and the triumph of the culture of convenience.


In defense of students everywhere (or, rather, myself), I have to say that, yes, the microwave and such makes everything soggy and/or plasticy, but it's fast, and when your kitchen's temperature is actually below freezing, you want to spend as little time there as possible.

I make pizzas that I alone in the world enjoy, but I'll pass on my wisdom anyway:

*Ingredients:*
1 stale, reduced French stick (on a good day, you can find these for as little as 5p)
1 tin of Sainsbury's Basics/Tesco Value tomatoes (preferably dented and therefore reduced)
1 medium onion
1 tin of cheap, own-brand pineapple (16p in Sainsbury's!)
A bunch of mushrooms (sliced)
A decent amount of cheese

*Method:*
1. Cut French stick in half and stick under grill on low heat.
2. Chop and fry onion, stir in tomatoes. Reduce until the consistency is spreadable.
3. Spread tomato-onion mix on toasted bread.
4. Add mushroom and pineapple.
5. Grate cheese on top.
6. Return to grill for about 5 mins.
7. Serve. Or, more likely, eat the whole thing yourself because everyone else in the world finds the idea of mushrooms and pineapple as a pizza topping morally abhorrent.


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## Clover (Dec 22, 2010)

ultraviolet said:


> best brownies you will ever eat, bitches


I would love to make these, but what if we're not super special australians and don't have these lamington pans?! what then, uv?

_what then??_


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## hopeandjoy (Dec 22, 2010)

How to make Kraft Mac n Cheese/Dinner sorta eatable:

1 box Kraft Mac n Cheese/Dinner (it has to be the normal florestent orange non orgainic kind for max nostalgia)
Good amount of ham/turkey Kcut into small squares (lunchmeat and real meat are both acceptable)
Good amount of a chedar (cut into small squares) (not american cheese, for the love of god. Cooper is the best. Swisses are also good.)
Good amount of cubed tomatos
Pepper, peprika, organo, and basil (to taste)

Make Mac n Cheese acording to box.
Add cheese, meat, and tomatos-mix until cheese is melted (might need to keep the burner on low.)
Season to taste
Put in bowl and enjoy the nostalgia

Yeah, I can't cook.


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## Tailsy (Dec 22, 2010)

Ketsu said:


> How to make Kraft Mac n Cheese/Dinner sorta eatable





> How to make Kraft Mac n Cheese/Dinner





> Kraft Mac n Cheese/Dinner





> Kraft Mac n Cheese/Dinner


WHAT

It is clearly called 'Cheesey(sic) Pasta'
YOU AMERICANS there is something so wrong about this


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## Teh Ebil Snorlax (Dec 22, 2010)

Dannichu said:


> In defense of students everywhere (or, rather, myself), I have to say that, yes, the microwave and such makes everything soggy and/or plasticy, but it's fast, and when your kitchen's temperature is actually below freezing, you want to spend as little time there as possible.


I'm not saying anything against people who cook things quick when there's a pressing reason to, I'm just saddened that its come to a point where people have to be informed that there's a way to poach an egg other than an egg poacher, especially when I live in a country where (and yes, I checked this) _no one I asked_ knew any other way to poach an egg other than this "trick" goldenquagsire picked up.


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## Squirrel (Dec 27, 2010)

Yet Another Spaghetti Bolognaise Recipie:
-One package of ground beef
-A buillon (sp?) cube
-A handful of flour
-Half a sweet onion
-One small can of tomato paste
-One small can of tomato sauce
-One can of diced tomatoes
-Itallian seasoning

1. Chop up the onion
1. Toss in the beef and onion, cook the ground beef until brown
2. Dissolve a buillion cube in a glass/mug of boiling water
3. Sprinkle the flour on the beef and add the buillion.
4. Stir for about a minute and add all the tomatoes. Season as needed.
5. Let it sit for at least half an hour, add water if it dries out too much.


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## Lucas₇₅₅ (Dec 27, 2010)

Berry Smoothshake

- 1 bag of frozen mixed berries (feel free to use fresh if you can
- 3 scoops vanilla ice cream
- 1/2 to 1 cup berry juice (feel free to use other flavors, but berry is best to start out)
- 1 container mixed berry yogurt (again, other flavors work
- (optional) Sugar

Put the berries and ice cream into a blender until everything is in one liquid. Next, mix in the juice and yougurt, after that is fully mixed in, blend to your favorite thickness. Taste it. If it's too tart for your taste, then pinch in sugar to taste.

This is really good, I have it all the time. I could give you the recipe for the most amazing cookies ever, but then the secret will be revealed.


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## Aviculor (Jan 30, 2011)

Curry Sauce

-Butter
-Flour
-Curry Powder
-Milk
-Carrots
-Onions
-Meat
-Spices

Fire up the stove with two or three tablespoons of butter in a saucepot. Add a tablespoon of flour and stir extremely well (preferably with a whisk) to break up the chunks that form. Add 2 tablespoons of curry powder and keep stirring. Before it burns, add a cup of milk. Keep stirring to make sure the flour/butter/curry distributes.  The object here it to make the sugars in the milk caramelize, which will take over half an hour. It is during this time that you're free (when not stirring) to do things like chop up the onions, carrots and meat. This is where you personalize it, since you can use any meat you want and add any other ingredients you wish. I put in jalapenos and various spices such as paprika, cayenne pepper and Cholula hot sauce. Also more curry powder, if I think the flavor isn't strong enough. Eventually, the mixture will gain a yellow/brown-ish color and a goopy consistency. This is the caramelization I mentioned, so it's just about done at that point. You can put it on white rice, but I won't judge you if you get creative.


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## IcySapphire (Jan 30, 2011)

Orange Pie

Materials required:

Mandarin oranges
Orange Jello
Cool Whip
Pie crust (preferably Oreo flavored)

Combine Jello, oranges, and Cool Whip until the mixture resembles an orange goo. Pour orange mixture into pie crust and let set in the freezer overnight. Add dark chocolate shavings on top for decor, if desired.


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## Whirlpool (Jan 31, 2011)

Something less of a thing to regularly drink, but more like helping fevers.

- Ginger
- Green Onions
- Water

Basically, just chop the ginger and onions into small pieces (not too much of it, though) and put it into the water. Then boil the water, sort of like how you would make tea with leaves. To make it slightly sweeter, add sugar (brown preferred, but white works) or honey. That's it.

It's sort of spicy and sweet at the same time, but it's not bad. It helps fevers and sore throats though. You don't have to eat the ginger or onion pieces, to anyone who was wondering.


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## Dannichu (Jan 31, 2011)

IcySapphire said:


> Pie crust (preferably Oreo flavored)


That this exists blows my mind. (This, from me, who does at least 50% of my cooking with a microwave.)


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## IcySapphire (Jan 31, 2011)

The idea with the Oreo pie crust is to recreate the flavor of a chocolate orange--an average joe pie crust works fine too


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## Green (Jan 31, 2011)

How to make ice for real:
Put water in the freezer.

How to make water:
Put ice in the microwave.

simple, right


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