# Relationships



## Pwnemon (Jan 21, 2011)

So yeah this didn't belong in laughing/coughing cupboard because it's sort of both. I considered Insanity for a second to be satirical but this just seemed like the best place to put it.

Post anything relationships-wise in this thread, whether for advice or just to share your happiness or anything in between.

I'll start: So there's this really cute girl and she knows I like her and I think she likes me but idk and so anyways it sucks because it's not even that I'm afraid of rejection (although I am) or that I don't have the balls to ask her out (although I don't) or that I never have a good time to (Although this is true too.) I just don't /want/ to be in a relationship right now. I'm thirteen for crying out loud and even if I wasn't high school and parents and working for my eagle scout is hard enough and I'm not even sure what one does when one goes out or how one goes about it (big fucking nerdiness shines through) but on the other hand she'll probably go out with someone else or something because I'm so hesitant what do I do graaaah (And also that was rhetorical mostly and you probably can't answer anyways because this is mostly just a rant but feel free to try.)

Also, if I'm not able to post before school, inb4 1000th post.


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## Furiianda (Jan 21, 2011)

There used to be a thread like this, I swear...
I'd want to put it in LC, personally, but this is as good a place as any (;

If I were you, I'd make my feelings known, just because the curiosity might kill you later! (As in, spending years wondering "What would have happened if I had asked that girl out...") For many people that would be worse, never knowing, than suffering through the awkwardness of the confession or even rejection.

If you don't have the time to commit to a relationship right now, you can always say that, too. Chances are you both have a busy life to come... but, well, up to you. You make a relationship sound like such hard work! (Which of course it can be, but really it's supposed to be fun and nice and worth doing and stuff)
Many high school students find enough time to work (well, homework, but part time jobs too... a friend of mine is going out with a chick studying at uni while working 3 part-time jobs) to their satisfaction while maintaining a healthy relationship, so I'm sure you could too.

As for what you _do_, if you're not sure why not just talk with her? Better than nothing! I mean, if you both like each other you can totally think of a good activity you guys can do together, if you're too restless for conversation. It's not like you have to take her out for dinner once a week for you two to be in a relationship, right? 
Oh, and don't be afraid of being a nerd; nerds are totally hot. Honest.

As for me/my situation, uh... not today ~ hope my advice helps you though (:


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## voltianqueen (Jan 21, 2011)

It seems that whenever I try to drop hints and stuff, the person I like never catches on, or never says anything about it whether they like me back or not. It is annoying, and it gets me nowhere. The last guy I had a crush on, though..I just told him. It was Valentine's day (actually day before but whatever), and I know that's kinda cheesy, but it was a _perfect_ opportunity to tell him.

So...

That's two years next month.. Yay :P


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## Tarvos (Jan 21, 2011)

I agree, 13 is too young to think about relationships properly


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## Creepy Kecleon (Jan 21, 2011)

voltianqueen said:


> It seems that whenever I try to drop hints and stuff, the person I like never catches on


You're a girl, you're suppose suck at dropping hints.

Happy anniversary.


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## Flora (Jan 21, 2011)

I used to say I'd never get a boyfriend.

...guess who has a date on Sunday. And, more importantly, a boyfriend.

Uh, he's my friend's neighbor who was invited over said friend's house for a New Years' party. He kinda liked me from day one.


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## Tailsy (Jan 21, 2011)

My boyfriend is such a big doofus. Ew. Like, why am I even going out with him, seriously... >:(


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## Chief Zackrai (Jan 21, 2011)

Apparently I am just _atrocious_ at taking hints, because apparently I am this like, big swoon or something. However, I wouldn't know, because I am apparently so terrible at taking hints!

HINT: pay close attention to whatever the person you like/ are going out with says. It could come back to bite you in the butt.


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## Teh Ebil Snorlax (Jan 21, 2011)

I have a girlfriend to whom I intend on proposing this summer.


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## RespectTheBlade (Jan 22, 2011)

I honestly fail, somewhat. I'm very shy towards anyone I meet, and girls I like especially. I try to talk to people but, honestly, it doesn't work most of the time. The one time I actually did get the courage to ask simeone my age out was when there was a dance at my school. two people I wanted to go with were already going with someone else, and a third I asked said yes at first, then said that their parents said they couldn't go. and then went anyway. with someone else. I haven't had much luck, really.


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## Autumn (Jan 22, 2011)

http://forums.dragonflycave.com/showthread.php?t=11771

:(


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## NegativeVibe (Jan 22, 2011)

RespectTheBlade said:


> I honestly fail, somewhat. I'm very shy towards anyone I meet, and girls I like especially. I try to talk to people but, honestly, it doesn't work most of the time. The one time I actually did get the courage to ask simeone my age out was when there was a dance at my school. two people I wanted to go with were already going with someone else, and a third I asked said yes at first, then said that their parents said they couldn't go. and then went anyway. with someone else. I haven't had much luck, really.


Same problem. D: I try to talk and all, but I'm pretty bad at it, and most anyone I like usually is in a relationship already or likes someone else. Even if they don't, I usually mess it up anyway. :/


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## Zuu (Jan 22, 2011)

i'm currently talking to a Serbian foreign exchange student. :>


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## nastypass (Jan 22, 2011)

forever alone

;     ;


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## Wargle (Jan 22, 2011)

Right now it's not my relationship that's giving me troubles. No, me and my girlfriend are quite happy. Noo, it's _other people's_ reactions that are giving me troubles.


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## Minish (Jan 22, 2011)

I have a girlfriend. We've started arguing more than I'd like lately, and we have far too many problems, but it doesn't stop me from loving her. We've been going out almost four months now. :D

Relationships are tough. T-T


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## Vladimir Putin's LJ (Jan 22, 2011)

I'm in a silly limbo situation with a friend and I'm fairly certain he likes me back, but we're both too shy and socially incompetent to do anything about it.
Either way, I'm getting him a rose for Valentine's Day because I don't feel like raving about consumerism for once and just want to express myself. Love is screwing up all my social principles man :(

Also some of his friends seem to loathe me for whatever reason but it's okay, I hate them too. Once on a date one of his friends called and tried to get him to leave me for a bottle of vodka :v but it's okay, it's not his fault the only person who'd ever touch him is himself.


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## Tarvos (Jan 22, 2011)

Oh, actual relationship? Been with the same girl happily for 19 months now


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## Adriane (Jan 22, 2011)

Hiikaru and I are just over two months now. In a way, it feels like it's been way longer. They're absolutely amazing.


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## Jolty (Jan 22, 2011)

Been with my girlfriend for 6 and a half months now

tis the best relationship I've had so far :D


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## Butterfree (Jan 22, 2011)

Best advice when you have a crush: _just spit it out_. I silently crushed on Shadey for aaaages and it took him taking the initiative in suggesting we go home to my place before I was convinced enough he liked me to tell him. If the unending love and proclamations of his cuddliness over the last four years hasn't clued you in, I'm very, very glad I did so. Take the chance! If they don't like you back, it's not as if you would've been any better off not saying anything and never knowing.

(...although if you crush on somebody who doesn't really know you, take the time to get to know them first. You can hardly expect them to like you if they don't have any basis on which to do so.)

Oh, also? Some general established relationship advice. Feel free to disagree, as this is all just my personal observations and thoughts, but.

I firmly believe that the key to a good relationship is honesty. If you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone, it's a _must_ that you can feel completely at ease just being yourself in their presence; having to put on a persona around your significant other is just going to be suffocating before long. This includes being able to freely talk about anything you feel the need to talk about, including problems you have with one another, and trusting them to understand.

Obviously, this has to go both ways: they also need to be able to trust _you_ to understand. Be sympathetic, tolerant and open-minded towards each other. Be able to argue when you disagree without tempers flaring. (Not arguing at all is usually not a good thing - unless you've somehow found your exact duplicate in opinions, that's because you're bottling up your disagreements, which falls under putting on a persona. However, your significant other making you truly distraught should be a very, very rare occurrence; if you genuinely _hurt_ each other on a regular basis, either get out of the relationship or have a very serious discussion about why this is happening and how you can change to accommodate one another. Do not brush that off with "couples argue all the time"; they do, but it's very emphatically not _that_ kind of arguing if it's a healthy relationship.)

If anything they do makes you uncomfortable, talk about it; also look within yourself and be sure that if anything you do makes them uncomfortable, they can talk to _you_ about it. Never react with hostility when they are honest with you, even if you're upset by what they tell you; you can tell them you're upset, but always, _always_ appreciate that they chose to come forth and be honest, because punishing them for being honest only encourages dishonesty. Trust is to know you can be honest with somebody and they can be honest with you in return, not to simply have blind faith that they would never do/think/want anything worth being dishonest about. People don't work that way; if you think your significant other is a perfect angel incapable of doing any wrong, you're only setting yourself up to be disappointed.

If you can feel completely comfortable with one another, you don't even need to have that much in common to be able to just have a great time with them and enjoy their presence in general, and that's what makes for a lasting, loving relationship.


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## Hiikaru (Jan 22, 2011)

Vixie ♥;462777 said:
			
		

> Hiikaru and I are just over two months now. In a way, it feels like it's been way longer. They're absolutely amazing.


 ~~~~~

Vixie is amazing, too, of course. I'm really glad she asked me~ 



Bachuru said:


> Best advice when you have a crush: _just spit it out_. I silently crushed on Shadey for aaaages and it took him taking the initiative in suggesting we go home to my place before I was convinced enough he liked me to tell him. If the unending love and proclamations of his cuddliness over the last four years hasn't clued you in, I'm very, very glad I did so. Take the chance! If they don't like you back, it's not as if you would've been any better off not saying anything and never knowing.
> 
> (...although if you crush on somebody who doesn't really know you, take the time to get to know them first. You can hardly expect them to like you if they don't have any basis on which to do so.)


This this this this this this this.

I was going to post about the same thing. What's the worst that can happen, honestly? They feel a little weird about it for a while? If they end up avoiding you, they're either not very nice in the first place, or they're not sure what to say about it, in which case, just ease back into your friendship.

At the very least, it opens the _possibility_ of having a relationship. Even if you both like each other, if no one says anything, nothing's going to happen.

Alternatively, maybe they don't like you - but that's okay. You can still say "well, hey, I'd still like to get to know you better", and who knows? Maybe they'll develop feelings for you, too.

You can't know unless you try!


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## Blastoise Fortooate (Jan 22, 2011)

Nada.

I've never really been interested in anyone romantically. I'd like to be, some day, but as for now I have no plans or attractions of any kind.

I TOTALLY WANT A KID, THOUGH :O


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## Arylett Charnoa (Jan 22, 2011)

Not in a relationship with anyone... and very little prospect of there being any whatsoever since I'm not crushing on anybody in my immediate vicinity. So... yeah. I'm boring. Wish I could actually meet people... but you know, most of them turn out to be the opposite orientation of liking girls because I think my love life hates me or something.


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## opaltiger (Jan 22, 2011)

I don't think I've ever liked someone not already in a relationship. :( It is the tiniest bit frustrating. (Though I've got slightly better at telling them about it).


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## Phantom (Jan 23, 2011)

I'm in a relationship right now. We hit a rough patch not long ago, but he matured a bit and we stayed together. It's been a little over a year now.


Worst thing ever, when you like a guy, you know he likes you. You go out for nine months, then he breaks up with you because he likes your best friend better and wants a chance with her.... even though she's dating someone already.


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## Shiny Grimer (Jan 23, 2011)

I'm seeing this guy but he's not my boyfriend (though he asked me to be his girlfriend a while ago o:).



> Best advice when you have a crush: just spit it out.


Seriously. Don't pine in the dark like me. Just do it to get it over with.


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## ultraviolet (Jan 23, 2011)

I've been single since MD broke up with me... in November-December? I don't like being alone. I feel like I'm not doing anything important with my time.


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## Murkrow (Jan 23, 2011)

Bachuru said:


> Best advice when you have a crush: _just spit it out_. I silently crushed on Shadey for aaaages and it took him taking the initiative in suggesting we go home to my place before I was convinced enough he liked me to tell him. If the unending love and proclamations of his cuddliness over the last four years hasn't clued you in, I'm very, very glad I did so. Take the chance! If they don't like you back, it's not as if you would've been any better off not saying anything and never knowing.


No



			
				Hiikaru ♥;462789 said:
			
		

> This this this this this this this.


No




... said:


> Seriously. Don't pine in the dark like me. Just do it to get it over with.


No

Maybe I like being a total coward OKAY? >:C


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## Hiikaru (Jan 23, 2011)

Rasrap Smurf said:


> No
> 
> 
> No
> ...


>:( Don't disagree!!!

Also why did you edit my post to put an exclamation mark after the period???

You have to overcome your fears! You can do it! (what are your fears?)

If you don't tell them, you tend to just sit around waiting for them to sweep you off your feet and going ":C" in the meantime, and that's not very useful or very fun. If you like them, say it!

And then post on the forums about how it went. :o


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## Murkrow (Jan 23, 2011)

Hiikaru ♥;462832 said:
			
		

> You have to overcome your fears! You can do it! (what are your fears?)


I can't say I know what my fears are. I think it's just my inability to talk to people in general, providing I don't already talk to them on a regular basis. And about two years ago the girl I like and I took different subjects at school and so barely ever bumped into each other any more. Since then we started talking less and less so now I guess I'm afraid that since I waited so long it'll make me look weird since I should have just forgotten about her by now, like I'm obsessed or something.



> If you don't tell them, you tend to just sit around waiting for them to sweep you off your feet and going ":C" in the meantime, and that's not very useful or very fun. If you like them, say it!


But... but... those things I just said!


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## Hiikaru (Jan 23, 2011)

Rasrap Smurf said:


> I can't say I know what my fears are. I think it's just my inability to talk to people in general, providing I don't already talk to them on a regular basis. And about two years ago the girl I like and I took different subjects at school and so barely ever bumped into each other any more. Since then we started talking less and less so now I guess I'm afraid that since I waited so long it'll make me look weird since I should have just forgotten about her by now, like I'm obsessed or something.
> 
> 
> 
> But... but... those things I just said!


Why should you have forgotten? It's perfectly normal to remember miscellaneous people from even years back - especially if you used to be friendly with each other! It doesn't seem obsessive, it seems... normal.

At least tell her you miss her and you'd like to hang out again, if nothing else! (But you should really say you like her, too)

Talking to people is difficult, but it's kind of something you just have to work on. You should try playing out some different scenes in your head and see if you can get a little more comfortable with the idea, and possibly talk to some friends about it, if you're able to. Anything that makes it seem a little more normal and a little less "oh nooooo" is a good thing to be doing.


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## Autumn (Jan 23, 2011)

With encouragement... I'm going to see if it's at all possible to tell my crush I like him on Monday.

it will probably end up being a bit of a non sequitur since none of our conversations can lead to that kind of thing, but I'll be sure to preface it with something mentioning how "out of the blue" it is so that it's not... that bad... I guess. Er. Wish me luck.


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## Hiikaru (Jan 23, 2011)

Polymetric Sesquialtera said:


> With encouragement... I'm going to see if it's at all possible to tell my crush I like him on Monday.
> 
> it will probably end up being a bit of a non sequitur since none of our conversations can lead to that kind of thing, but I'll be sure to preface it with something mentioning how "out of the blue" it is so that it's not... that bad... I guess. Er. Wish me luck.


Luck!

I'm glad you worked up the courage to at least consider telling him, and I hope it goes well for you! You can do it, Leafpool! :D


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## Shiny Grimer (Jan 23, 2011)

Good luck, Leafpool. You can do it! :D


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## Not Meowth (Jan 23, 2011)

Hiikaru ♥;462789 said:
			
		

> What's the worst that can happen, honestly?


you might die


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## Noctowl (Jan 23, 2011)

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now.^^ Hehe, I love him so much. Though we don't really argue that much, we tend to just bicker. Is that normal?


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## Chief Zackrai (Jan 23, 2011)

It's very normal (I would assume, anyway). I've never seen a successful relationship where they both just got along absolutely perfectly in every way imaginable.


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## Tarvos (Jan 23, 2011)

> I firmly believe that the key to a good relationship is honesty. If you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone, it's a must that you can feel completely at ease just being yourself in their presence; having to put on a persona around your significant other is just going to be suffocating before long. This includes being able to freely talk about anything you feel the need to talk about, including problems you have with one another, and trusting them to understand.


THIS


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## Hiikaru (Jan 23, 2011)

Meowth said:


> you might die


You won't.



Fluffy bat said:


> I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now.^^ Hehe, I love him so much. Though we don't really argue that much, we tend to just bicker. Is that normal?


Depends on what you mean by "bicker" (this word has angrier implications than some other words you can use), but since you specified that it's not arguing, it's probably fine. My parents have been together since forever and they still have disagreements, and this is normal and healthy in a relationship. You don't need to agree about everything there is.

Just make sure you're respecting his opinions - and that he's respecting yours, and that neither of you gets carried away or gets hurt by it. The next time it happens, consider how you feel about it. Do you feel okay, or do you feel hurt? Ask him if he's okay when you two disagree. If you're both okay, then it's okay. Otherwise, talk about it, see what you can do to _make_ it okay, because you should always be able to talk to each other.

It sounds like you're doing well together, though! I hope you have even more happy years together.


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## Lorem Ipsum (Jan 23, 2011)

Loving all this "spit it out" stuff, and I would love to "spit it out" but you know, I have an odd feeling that other guys might not appreciate me declaring my undying love for them. Feels bad man :<


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## ignore_this_acct (Jan 23, 2011)

I would most likely have a boyfriend , but my Dad won't let me date until I'm 16, so we can't hang out outside of schools and anime conventions.


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## Autumn (Jan 23, 2011)

Lorem Ipsum said:


> Loving all this "spit it out" stuff, and I would love to "spit it out" but you know, I have an odd feeling that other guys might not appreciate me declaring my undying love for them. Feels bad man :<


depends, are they homophobic? I had a crush on a female friend of mine last year who didn't know I was bi and I ended up telling her about it (though not directly, because I didn't quite know if she was homophobic) Our friendship was pretty much intact.

of course my advice is most likely terrible but.


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## MentheLapin (Jan 23, 2011)

Lorem Ipsum said:


> Loving all this "spit it out" stuff, and I would love to "spit it out" but you know, I have an odd feeling that other guys might not appreciate me declaring my undying love for them. Feels bad man :<


I don't know, my crush took it well. It depends on the person, I guess. If you're friends, and they're worth it, they'll be cool with it.


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## Lorem Ipsum (Jan 23, 2011)

They're not homophobic as such, but I just don't have the balls to tell them. Especially as my crush on them culminated in writing seventeen sonnets, two Latin sapphics and a Greek epithet. I think that's classed as "creepy"


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## Tarvos (Jan 23, 2011)

Lorem Ipsum said:


> Loving all this "spit it out" stuff, and I would love to "spit it out" but you know, I have an odd feeling that other guys might not appreciate me declaring my undying love for them. Feels bad man :<





> They're not homophobic as such, but I just don't have the balls to tell them. Especially as my crush on them culminated in writing seventeen sonnets, two Latin sapphics and a Greek epithet. I think that's classed as "creepy"


Yeah. This would be going overboard, if you swamp them with I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER and DRAMA they'll definitely be pushed away. Spit it out, say it, but be a slight bit discrete.


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## Autumn (Jan 24, 2011)

So I finally worked up the courage to tell my crush today.

We were in the hall after band class and I said "... Can I ask you a serious question?" "Yeah?" "I know this is going to sound really out-of-the-blue and random and stuff, but..."

I took a deep breath before responding. "I have a crush on you," I said, looking up at him. "And, uh... I was wondering if you had a crush on me or anything... cause..." and I sort of trailed off. He was sort of flailing for a bit before saying "... That _is_ out of the blue." "I know, and I'm sorry, but..." I replied.

He told me that he would have been interested in trying something out... 'cause he could see that working... had he not just come off a bad breakup (like, literally, a few days before), and he needed time. I told him I could understand that. He apologized, sounding really apologetic, and I said "No, it's fine. I mean, I wasn't expecting anything, but..." and I shrugged. He said that maybe if he hadn't just come off that breakup it was a possibility, but at the moment not really. Then we had to go separate ways to our classes.

Well... him saying he would have been interested in trying something out was more than I expected. A _lot_ more. But on the other hand...

Last I checked, he doesn't - _didn't_ - have a girlfriend. The most damning evidence was that he had said "I don't have a girlfriend" about four months ago, and he claimed the relationship prior to the breakup was nine months. I don't see why he would have lied about not having a girlfriend, so it appears he more likely than not lied today. What I'm trying to determine is why - was he just trying to tell me he didn't have a crush on me by saying he wouldn't be interested in trying something out because he'd just come off a breakup, or...? I dunno I'm rather confused ; ;


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## Pwnemon (Jan 24, 2011)

Maybe, he said he didn't have a girlfriend because he thought you liked him?

either that or he's just being nice but after the movie thing and also this he's dropping hints to give up. your choice.


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## Autumn (Jan 24, 2011)

Pwnemon said:


> Maybe, he said he didn't have a girlfriend because he thought you liked him?


he wasn't even talking specifically to me at the time; I just happened to overhear it. Plus I _didn't_ like him at the time.



> either that or he's just being nice but after the movie thing and also this he's dropping hints to give up. your choice.


Yeah I know but :C


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## Eloi (Jan 24, 2011)

Lorem Ipsum said:


> They're not homophobic as such, but I just don't have the balls to tell them. Especially as my crush on them culminated in writing seventeen sonnets, two Latin sapphics and a Greek epithet. I think that's classed as "creepy"


Awww! I know I'd fall for you if you wrote beautiful poetry for me, and I'd probably feel like writing poetry back. I think that is cool you wrote all that~


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## MentheLapin (Jan 24, 2011)

Eloi said:


> Awww! I know I'd fall for you if you wrote beautiful poetry for me, and I'd probably feel like writing poetry back. I think that is cool you wrote all that~


This. It's not creepy, loads of people do it :3


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## Automata heart (Jan 24, 2011)

i know miss-never-been-kissed shouldn't give advice, but how about writing the object of your  affections a note? it gives you time to think about  what to say and make sure you don't sound like an idiot. i hope it goes well.


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## Zoltea (Jan 24, 2011)

I've been in one before but not in one currently. Though I'm rather sure I have tons of social issues, which is why I shamelessly ask girls out. x3


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## Teh Ebil Snorlax (Jan 24, 2011)

Lorem Ipsum said:


> They're not homophobic as such, but I just don't have the balls to tell them. Especially as my crush on them culminated in writing seventeen sonnets, two Latin sapphics and a Greek epithet. I think that's classed as "creepy"


Nah, writing poetry about the object of your affections isn't creepy, it's actually pretty cool, but i wouldn't unload all that on him at once.

Girls have always been flattered when I write stuff for them, Sabrina in particular really loves the things I write for her; 2 poems and 2 songs, plus three of my fictional characters are based at least in part on her; one of them _is_ her, since the story is a pastiche of several weeks of my life combined into one with some people taking each other's places and certain events exaggerated plus an original central plot to provide the main conflict.


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## Tarvos (Jan 24, 2011)

Yeah, but SEVENTEEN SONNETS is over the top. I write poetry too, sometimes about my gf, and it's very flattering, but overload is bad, especially at the beginning.


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## Ruby (Jan 24, 2011)

Tarvos said:


> Yeah, but SEVENTEEN SONNETS is over the top.


Not to mention that Sapphics are _gay_.


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## Tarvos (Jan 24, 2011)

I don't really consider that as a problem...


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## Teh Ebil Snorlax (Jan 24, 2011)

I believe that was a "pune" or play on words there, Tarvos.

Sapphos of Lesbos, creator of the sapphic, is also the creator of the word "lesbian", with good reason; she wrote love poems to other women.


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## Tarvos (Jan 25, 2011)

I am aware what it meant. My point stands. I talk to Ruby, I know his sense of humour.


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## fresh fruit for Adol (Jan 25, 2011)

I moved 40 miles from where I used to, and any of the girls I like either live somewhere else for college, or prefer women over men ;_; That, or they're already in a relationship :/

That said, when I get a job around here, or start school, I'm sure I'll meet someone. I mean, gawd. I've lived here since September and I haven't made a single friend D:


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## Zuu (Jan 25, 2011)

Ruby said:


> Not to mention that Sapphics are _gay_.


looooooooool

Ruby for president


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