# Would you make a good parent?



## Tailsy (Aug 14, 2008)

<Tailsy> if my kids ever called me 'okaasan' i'd smack them and tell them that japanese sucks D:< 
<Tailsy> ... just because i'd be a huge bitch
<Verne> Nope, I'd do that too.
<Tailsy> fuck yeah
<Tailsy> mind you my kids would end up being total emo kids
<Verne> My kids would be so far into nonexistence that they'd be imaginary friends to the neighbor kids.
<Tailsy> "): MUMMY DOESN'T RUV ME ENOUGH" "THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A WHORE"

Yeah, that basically jogged this idea. I blame Verne for everything that ever happens ever, okay?

So, ITT would you make a good parent? Me, I almost definitely wouldn't. I have no patience and I'm so insanely stubborn and judgemental my kids would only ever be allowed to grow up into the things I WANT THEM TO BE GRR. 

NO GOING TO MED SCHOOL FOR YOU, THOMAS, AND YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE YOUR DADDY'S A FUCKING MANWHORE WHO LEFT YOU SO YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO BE SUCESSFUL BECAUSE ONLY LITTLE BOYS WITH NONWHORE DADS GET TO BE DOCTORS.

Yep. Post away!

(if you already have kids I... I don't know. D:<)


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## octobr (Aug 14, 2008)

I AM THE BEST PERSON EVER

It's my turn to c/p irc quotes.

[20:55] Verne: I'm just going to be the fucked up uncle. UNCLE VERNE? I HEARD YOU SAY BLOWJOB EARLIER. WHAT'S THAT MEAN? DADDY SAYS TO WAIT TILL I TURN THIRTEEN AND I'M ONLY FIVE BUT I KNOW YOU'LL TELL ME 
[20:55] Verne: well, timmy
[20:55] Verne: just sit right down


[20:56] Verne: 'Jon, I wanna talk to the kids.' 'Ok, fine.' They'd pick up.
[20:56] Verne: And I'd start talking to them in this husky whisper.
[20:57] Xikaze1: also "fuck 'em up" literally or metaphorically
[20:57] Verne: 'today's word is inevitable'
[20:57] Verne: 'UNCLE VERNE? IS THAT YOU?'
[20:57] Verne: 'inevitable like your horrible murder, timmy. one day we will meet.'
[20:57] Verne: Then I'd hang up.
[20:58] Verne: 'timmy give me your sister'
[20:59] Verne: 'OK UNCLE VERNE [SHELBY UNCLE VERNE WANTS TO TALK T-]' 'timmy you misunderstood.'
[20:59] Verne: 'give me your sister.'
[20:59] Verne: 'i'll be there at six o'clock.'
[20:59] Verne: Except sometimes I'd say it wrong and it'd be six o'cock.
[20:59] Verne: Leaving timmy scarred one day. I don't know what day, but one day.


May or may not be edited for simplicity. No one else in that chatroom matters but me.

But yeah I'm never going to have kids but hopefully my brother will so I can destroy their lives _forever._

'Sweetie? Shelby? Come and sit on Uncle Verne's lap. We're going to have a flashback. I remember one of the first girlfriends I had, I met in my college anatomy class ...'


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## spaekle (Aug 14, 2008)

Pssh fuck no. My hatred of children burns with the fervor of a thousand suns. Particularly babies. I don't give a shit how cold it is outside, if they won't shut up they aren't staying in the house. >:\


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## Dragon_night (Aug 14, 2008)

Uhg, I hate little children, but every time I'm around them everyone tells me how good a parent I'd make.

I don't want to deal with little children, mostly. I wouldn't mind someone past the age of 13 >_> Them, I could deal with.


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## Old Catch (Aug 14, 2008)

I love kids, especially little kids. At family reunions and stuff, I always end up taking care of everyone's children. I'm not sure I'd make a good parent though. I think I'd spoil the kids. 



> Pssh fuck no. My hatred of children burns with the fervor of a thousand suns. Particularly babies. I don't give a shit how cold it is outside, if they won't shut up they aren't staying in the house. >:\


XD


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## Storm Earth and Fire (Aug 14, 2008)

This is a difficult question to answer at this age. I personally am sure parenthood is one of those things you can't be sure about until you actually do it.

That said, I dunno, I think I'd make an OK parent.


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## Zora of Termina (Aug 14, 2008)

I'm not entirely sure. Babies are ADORABLE until they hit two, then I can't stand 'em until they turn seven or eight. At least old enough to know when to STOP TALKING MY EAR OFF. Eleven and up are cool.

So I think maybe, if I could stand that five years where I'm probably going to have to be restrained by my husband to prevent them from being beaten, that I might ACTUALLY make a good mom. >>

I just surprised myself upon coming to that realization. Is that a bad thing?


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## Arylett Charnoa (Aug 14, 2008)

Ahaha! Ahaha! Me, a parent? Oh, you're serious? 

I'd be the worse parent in the world. I can't even take care of some dogs, let alone kids. Pretty irresponsible, I'd probably neglect them. Or tell them to shut the hell up and leave mommy alone please, she's trying to watch TV. Plus, I hate babies. They annoy me so much. I basically hate most children below the age of 7, unless they're actually polite and quiet. But most of them aren't. 

Oh God, I'm terrible, aren't I? 

Maybe when I'm older... maybe I'll change my mind. But for now? No, I'd be the worse parent ever.


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## Music Dragon (Aug 14, 2008)

"Have you got any children, Harry?"

"No. I haven't put myself in the path of paternity."

"It's never too late."

"I don't think my other half would agree." 

"Oh - you don't want children?"

"No, no, it's not like that. It's just that... well, I'd have liked a daughter. I'd have spoiled her to bits."


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## octobr (Aug 14, 2008)

[21:10] Verne: I'm going to be an outdated freak of an uncle one day
[21:10] Verne: HEY KIDS
[21:10] Verne: ADVENTUUUUUUURE
[21:10] Verne: god dad your brother is so fuckin lame that show is from like twenty years ago
[21:11] Walker: UNCLE VERNE STOP REFERENCING OLD CARTOONS WE ARE NEVER GOING TO WATCH GAWD  >:[
[21:11] Verne: YOU YOUNG PEOPLE
[21:11] Verne: GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN
[21:11] Verne: um uncle verne
[21:11] Verne: you don't have a lawn
[21:11] Verne: you live in a box. :c
[21:12] Walker: sig'd  x3
[21:12] Verne: They'd take treks out to my box every night and we'd roast marshmallows and I'd tell them stories while subliminally teaching them how to rape people.
[21:14] Xikaze1: "subliminally" 
[21:14] Xikaze1: sure
[21:14] Xikaze1: if that's what they call it these days
[21:15] Verne: Subliminally cause Timmy won't realize it until the's tearing the pants off of his first girlfriend, one hand covering her screaming mouth.
[21:15] Verne: 'Why am I doing this?' he'll think.
[21:15] Verne: And it'll come to him: oh. Storytime in Uncle Verne's box.
[21:15] Verne: And then he'll shove his tiny dick in one of the poor girl's orifices.
[21:18] Verne: seems weird how the channel broke after I started talkin about rape.




I think I took it a little too far on that one.


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## Altmer (Aug 14, 2008)

i have pretty much got to be a good parent or my relationship is gonna fuuuuuuuck up

so I better be


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## ultraviolet (Aug 14, 2008)

Not right now, but I think maybe someday I'd really like to raise children. 

Not to mention I find pregnancy absolutely fascinating. But anyway.


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## @lex (Aug 14, 2008)

M'well, I'd do my best. I am patient, but kids are like, supereffective against my patience <_<


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## Flazeah (Aug 14, 2008)

Meh. I don't know. I think I have enough patience, and it'd be so cool helping them and watching them learn to talk and write and stuff, and the kid or kids would probably be fun to have around - but I'm just don't really know if I'd be a good parent. *shrugs* It'd be a big difference to my life, and the life of my wife or "serious" girlfriend, if I had one (which I'd have to have, probably; I don't think I'd raise a kid on my own, though I'm not completely sure).

 If my brother's going to have kids, though, I'll at least get to be their cool gay aunt. :D


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## OrangeAipom (Aug 14, 2008)

Verne said:


> [21:15] Verne: Subliminally cause Timmy won't realize it until the's tearing the pants off of his first girlfriend, one hand covering her screaming mouth.


You must be magical. I can't think of how you would do that. D: How old would the kid be before he gets a girlfriend? Maybe that'll help me.

I can't think of how I would be as a parent.


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## opaltiger (Aug 14, 2008)

Sure, once I get past the first... oh, six years?


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## The Quicker Picker-Upper (Aug 14, 2008)

It depends. People say I'm suddenly very patient (and even good) around young kids. Despite this, I may piss off their parents for the hell of it, potentially making me a bad father.
"So what movie did you show the kids?"
"Sin City. It's quite good, it might get them into the comics. I heard comic books improve reading skills."


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## octobr (Aug 14, 2008)

ArtificialFlavour said:


> You must be magical. I can't think of how you would do that. D: How old would the kid be before he gets a girlfriend? Maybe that'll help me.
> 
> I can't think of how I would be as a parent.


Oh, I _am_ magical. I'll have little Timmy bending to my every will. And shelby bending for a little more.


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## Jolty (Aug 14, 2008)

If we could skip the first 4 or so years then I'd be fiiiiine

Dunno if I even WANT kids atm, I prefer cats :(


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## Dannichu (Aug 14, 2008)

Probably not, because I'd spend the first thirteen years of its life hating it because it can't look after itself and wakes me up, and after that it'd hate me because that's what teenagers _do._ 

Seriously? I dunno. I'm very irrisponsible and pretty much incapable of looking after myself, let alone offspring. I can look after kids for short periods of time, like babysitting, but if we're talking 18 years, I'd probably get bored :/


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## Ambipom (Aug 14, 2008)

Maybe. 

FIrst I'd spoil them and then I'll discipline them not make them a spoiled brat who gets everything s/he wants.

I'd alternate.


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## Butterfree (Aug 14, 2008)

I hate babies because they are kind of like cats except that they're louder, not cute, not affectionate and you have to be taking care of them 24/7 - in other words, I would much, much rather have a cat than a baby. At that time they're just... not interesting, way too much trouble and fairly disgusting (I'm not only talking changing diapers here; burping, drooling, vomiting...), and that makes the idea very repellent to me.

On the other hand, once the kid has started exhibiting a little bit of humanness and has started talking and actually doing things a cat couldn't do and you can start the actual upbringing, I'd love to be a parent. Mostly because I've had eighteen years of looking at other parents and thinking "I could do better than that", and I really want to try it just to see if all the ideas about parenting I have made up in my head really work. In other words, I'd like to be a parent as a big psychology project. I feel so evil.


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## nastypass (Aug 14, 2008)

Verne said:


> [21:10] Verne: I'm going to be an outdated freak of an uncle one day
> [21:10] Verne: HEY KIDS
> [21:10] Verne: ADVENTUUUUUUURE
> [21:10] Verne: god dad your brother is so fuckin lame that show is from like twenty years ago
> ...


damnit verne i wanted to do that  :[


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## Murkrow (Aug 14, 2008)

I most probably would be a terrible parent. The only thing is it's much too early to know for sure, so who knows what I'll be like in the future.

I don't want any children at the moment, but that's probably because I'm a teenager and I'm lazy all of the time. I probably won't be so lazy in the future.


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## OrangeAipom (Aug 14, 2008)

Butterfree said:


> In other words, I'd like to be a parent as a big psychology project.


Are you trying to psychic (Is that the right word?) yourself or the kid out?


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## Blaziking the God General (Aug 14, 2008)

...maybe I'd be a good parent? (Define 'good')


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## Cheetah (Aug 14, 2008)

Oh, sure! :D I'd be sure to housebreak him right away, so I don't have to deal with a messy carpet. I'd also have to make sure that he doesn't beg at the dinner table and that he knows his bed is in the garage. And I'll teach him how to roll over and speak and play dea-

Oh wait.


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## H-land (Aug 14, 2008)

I'd be a pretty bad parent, because I hate kids: they aren't cute. From the moment they're born, they're whiny, messy, fat, bald, and ugly. And _stupid_. Mostly loud and whiny, though. All I do with kids is hope they shut up and leave me alone.

Still, some part of me wants to raise a family some day. I can't figure myself out sometimes.


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## Arcanine (Aug 14, 2008)

Gimme a kid for a few years, then ask him. He'll know


...maybe a few months is enough. I don't know if I would survive. My head explodes with my sister, so...


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## Minish (Aug 14, 2008)

Well... yes. :3 I like to think I would.
The idea of having a creature that _I_ brought into the world, I think, would be enough for me not to tear out my hair and gag it with it. I'm irritable, but I'm generally very patient and I think I'd be a good parent.

The only things I'm not so fond of is childbirth. I don't _want_ my arse to be like... torn open by a bloody membrane-slavery baby. D< I think I started wanting to adopt after my mum told me 'it was like trying to poo out a watermelon'. Thanks, mum. _Thanks_.



Butterfree said:


> Mostly because I've had eighteen years of looking at other parents and thinking "I could do better than that", and I really want to try it just to see if all the ideas about parenting I have made up in my head really work. In other words, I'd like to be a parent as a big psychology project. I feel so evil.


I think this all the time. D: I always thought it's probably just some teenager-superiority issue I have or something.
I sometimes lecture my parents on how to bring up my little sister.
...it's kind of disturbing.


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## Valor (Aug 14, 2008)

I recently have been looking forward to fatherhood. I'd make a kickass dad since the little bastard will be raised to my standards. Damn, that will be fun.


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## Vyraura (Aug 15, 2008)

If I had _any_ kids at all, I'd adopt loads, then refuse to officially name them until they start to show distinct ruts of personality, then name them accordingly, ignore the stupid fat ones, and instruct the others how to be awesome. 

In other words, keep them away from me. 

I still think color-coding my kids by their personalities would be fun, though.


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## surskitty (Aug 15, 2008)

I'd be an awesome parent.

"HEY MOOOOOO~M SOMEONE'S BEING MEAN TO ME ON THE INTERNET" "... SUCK IT UP." "BUT HE'S EMAILING ME PICTURES OF ME IN MY UNDERWEAR." "... WHAT'S THE USERNAME." "[username]" "... THAT.  THAT WAS ME."

"MOOOOO~M STOP PICKING ON ME" "BUT YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE PRODUCTIVE.  YOU'RE TARGET PRACTICE." "BUT MOOO~M" "GO TO YOUR ROOM." "I'M /IN/ MY ROOM." "... GO SIT IN THE BATHROOM ALL ~ALOOOONE~ UNTIL YOU GROW A SPINE."

"MOOOOO~M I'M HUNGRY MAKE LUNCH" "... IS KCN AN ACCEPTABLE SPICE" "WHAT?" "GO LOOK IT UP." "... ... ... NO, MOM." "THEN GO MAKE IT YOURSELF."

"... MOM DID YOU DYE ALL OF MY CLOTHING NEON ORANGE." "YES." "... WHY." "IT'D BE FUNNY."


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## Abwayax (Aug 15, 2008)

I'm a fat, lazy bastard. Hell no I'd make a bad parent


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## Yanmega (Aug 15, 2008)

Well I try not to be like my bitchy mother and my suck-up father but I don't know. At least I'd try to be a good parent


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## Harlequin (Aug 15, 2008)

Butterfree said:


> I hate babies because they are kind of like cats except that they're louder, not cute, not affectionate and you have to be taking care of them 24/7 - in other words, I would much, much rather have a cat than a baby. At that time they're just... not interesting, way too much trouble and fairly disgusting (I'm not only talking changing diapers here; burping, drooling, vomiting...), and that makes the idea very repellent to me.
> 
> On the other hand, once the kid has started exhibiting a little bit of humanness and has started talking and actually doing things a cat couldn't do and you can start the actual upbringing, I'd love to be a parent. Mostly because I've had eighteen years of looking at other parents and thinking "I could do better than that", and I really want to try it just to see if all the ideas about parenting I have made up in my head really work. In other words, I'd like to be a parent as a big psychology project. I feel so evil.


I basically think this.


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## ShiningDarkness (Aug 15, 2008)

No. I hate babies and little kids. I would not want to take care of something I hate. Besides, having kids requires marriage and sex, neither of which I want to do. I'd rather be independent than be married. As for sex, I think it's perverted and disgusting, and I'd never let anyone get that close to me. I'm completely paranoid. If I ever had sex, I'd be sure to commit suicide the second it's over. I'm not emo, I just have an unnatural hatred towards sex. 

And, it would be too much for me. I don't know if I'd be able to handle it, especially with something so loud and annoying. When they're young, kids whine, cry, and scream. I'm exteremely sensitive to loud noises, probably because I have aspergers, and I would run away as far as possible to avoid hearing it. 



In addition, there is the aspect of changing diapers. I don't think I need to explain why I'd rather not change diapers.



There are several other reasons as well, many of which I can't think of right now.


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## Kratos Aurion (Aug 15, 2008)

Oh, sure. I'd be a wonderful parent. To the crocodiles I would feed my children to.

Of course, I'd also love to fuck with the little buggers (no not that way you perverts besides I don't care for sex remember?), but since there is no way in _hell_ is some hideous thing like a freaking ham but far less appetizing is coming out of _my_ body I'll need to wait for my brother to have kids.

Then there shall be funtiems. Oh, _yes._ Lionel shall become a Satanist, Thierry will eat only pig's feet and I will consider myself a failure of an aunt if I don't manage to convince adorable little Mia that she is a snapping turtle by the time she is seven.


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## J.T. (Aug 15, 2008)

verne your posts on this thread win everything forever

I doubt I'd be a good one. I mean, I can handle babysitting my 5-year-old brother, but I doubt I could take care of them from earlier than that.


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## Flareth (Aug 15, 2008)

I'd be like Verne, quoting old cartoons. Forcing them to watch the good stuff. I might be a god one, if I get my Asperger's under control and don't throw 'em against the wall.


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## octobr (Aug 15, 2008)

Kratos Aurion said:


> I will consider myself a failure of an aunt if I don't manage to convince adorable little Mia that she is a snapping turtle by the time she is seven.


Funny story.

My dad, as a kid, managed to convince a neighbor boy something similar. Except instead of 'you are a snapping turtle' it was just 'your name is actually Joey.'

All the same. He got the kid to totally ignore his parents after a while because he thought they were just so old they forgot his name was actually joey.


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## Not Meowth (Aug 15, 2008)

Possibly. However, the real question here is not whether I'd make a good parent, but if I'd make a parent at all. The answer to which is "no".


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## OrangeAipom (Aug 15, 2008)

Verne said:


> My dad, as a kid, managed to convince a neighbor boy something similar. Except instead of 'you are a snapping turtle' it was just 'your name is actually Joey.'


At least a name doesn't look like anything, unlike a snapping turtle.


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## Not Meowth (Aug 15, 2008)

Butterfree said:


> they're fairly disgusting (I'm not only talking changing diapers here; burping, drooling, vomiting...)


Don't forget the giving birth part.


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## Kratos Aurion (Aug 15, 2008)

Verne said:


> Funny story.
> 
> My dad, as a kid, managed to convince a neighbor boy something similar. Except instead of 'you are a snapping turtle' it was just 'your name is actually Joey.'
> 
> All the same. He got the kid to totally ignore his parents after a while because he thought they were just so old they forgot his name was actually joey.


That is epic and I love your dad.


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## octobr (Aug 15, 2008)

Kratos Aurion said:


> That is epic and I love your dad.


Inorite. He did a lot of magically kid-like stuff. Like stealing a neighbor kid's real parachute (dad was an army dude or whatever) and jumping off the roof with it.


Funny thing, it didn't go off. 




BUT BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND.


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## Zhorken (Aug 15, 2008)

I'd be a good parent to a child of >= 5 years; I plan to adopt.  I'd probably be an okay parent to a younger kid too, but I'd hate it.


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## Altmer (Aug 16, 2008)

I find babies cute. I must be the only one.


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## Kratos Aurion (Aug 16, 2008)

cute =/= not irritating


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## Dannichu (Aug 16, 2008)

They're cute as long as they don't wake you up/puke everywhere/cry constantly. 

Basically, they're adorable as long as they don't belong to you X3


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## Jetx (Aug 16, 2008)

I dunno. It would depend what mood I was in.

Some days it'd be like:
"Look Daddy, I drew you a picture! ^________________________^"
"Aww, that's so cute!"

And others it'd be:
"Look Daddy, I drew another one!"
"Daddy's busy with the crap life keeps throwing at him right now. Piss off."

In other words, no xD


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## Reventhas (Aug 16, 2008)

Were I to actually have a child(doubtful, considering I probably will never marry), I probably wouldn't treat it any better than my evil stepdad does me. Basically, I'd be mean and angry to them, insult them for their general stupidity and weakness, and stuff of that nature. Then again, I might refuse to treat them anything like that, just because I remembered that treatment, and be a good father... But that all depends on how my personality changes in the coming years.


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