# TMI Time: Virginity



## Tailsy

Hello! I'd like to talk to you about your sex life.

Virginity is a complex concept, but generally the rule of thumb is 'if you no longer feel or identify as a virgin, then you are not one'. Scarleteen has a great FAQ on the subject if you require further clarification or have any queries. Feel free to ask the kind and very, very sexually active(!) members of this forum if there's anything else.

I let my virginity fly free from my fingertips at the age of sixteen. I almost typed 'sexteen' there, that was terribly unfortunate. This is pretty much just a remake of the previous thread since many people's answers are no longer accurate. 

Vote on the poll. Roll w/ it.


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## Tailsy

The poll is now actually added! Thanks Internal Server Error, you piece of shit.


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## M&F

Total virgin. Like, even mouth virgin (this is a thing where I live, I dunno if this is a thing anywhere outside my country; it means I never kissed anybody on the mouth in case that wasn't clear).

It's funny because whenever I mention this to somebody irl, the reaction is either "wow you really need to go to a dance club" or "wow you're so mature". Not that I should expect anybody to correctly assume "wow you're anti-social", of course.


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## surskitty

Thus far I have had panic attacks whenever someone actually _tries to ask me out_.  I think my answer is unlikely to change unless someone I trust propositions me for casual sex.


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## ultraviolet

yeah I haven't been a virgin since... oh geez like fifteen or sixteen or something. I'm so old.

although considering how much I'm getting these days I'm tempted to vote 'yes' out of pure spite. >:|


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## Cerberus87

I'm not a virgin but my first time was pretty late...


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## Blastoise Fortooate

Metallica Fanboy said:


> Total virgin. Like, even mouth virgin (this is a thing where I live, I dunno if this is a thing anywhere outside my country; it means I never kissed anybody on the mouth in case that wasn't clear)


Haahahahaha _not what I assumed you meant _although that may be because I'm an unrepentant pervert.

and, yes, I'm a virgin!

FLOCK TO ME, UNICORNS!


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## bulbasaur

Depending on your definition of virginity, I either lost it at 11 or am striving to preserve it until I get married :/ Go figure


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## Aenrhien

I am not. If it hadn't been a decision that was made for me, I'd have a different answer.


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## Saith

~first time i had sex, i was three two
first time consenting, was thirteen fourteen
though you weren't there, you remind me of those hands~

Uh, yeah, daddy-dearest. I mean, not _technically_ sex. Obviously. How the fuck would it fit? But eh.

First time I consented though was time ago. Shit, that's on top. I didn't realise I was so old.

Haven't been getting any since I moved to Cardiff though. Considering moving into a hostel just for all the poon tang. Poon tang. People still say that, right? Fuck it, I don't care. Still, if I get this job as a nightclub photographer well... Fuck me, that'd be great.


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## Jolty

Due to the fact that everyone I would want to have sex with is either a) too old and too married, b) fictitious or c) located too far away, I am what you would call a virgin.

Which is quite the shitty situation when you have a sex drive the size of Jupiter.


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## blazheirio889

Metallica Fanboy said:


> Total virgin. Like, even mouth virgin (this is a thing where I live, I dunno if this is a thing anywhere outside my country; it means I never kissed anybody on the mouth in case that wasn't clear).


Ahaha no it wasn't really clear. I'll just leave it at that.

Still a virgin here.


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## M&F

Yeah, I am aware of what it sounds like. It's not even anything to feel guilty about, though, considering that the label exists by and at large to make fun of young people (not as in teenagers but as in too young to have gotten around to any considerable amount of cuddling) and the romantically inept. Which is why not having any immediately apparent shame in being a mouth virgin gets me labeled as mature.


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## The Omskivar

Hahaha Metallica that's not at all what I thought it meant.  We have a name for that here, though, we call them lip virgins and there is no shame in being one.

I'm not a lip virgin but I'm a virgin nonetheless.  I can wait though; sex isn't really that appealing right now, surprisingly enough.  I do like kissing though.


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## spaekle

Not a virgin any more! College happened.


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## Datura

Still a virgin, and it fucking sucks.


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## H-land

College has been happening. Still a virgin.
Just... hasn't been on my list of priorities. Too much stuff to do to worry about besides sex.


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## Abwayax

I'm going to go ahead and say yes, at least in terms of actual sex. I suppose at my age it's supposed to be something to be ashamed of, although it doesn't bother me that much - I'm saving it for someone special.


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## Aisling

I'm a virgin, but not a "lip virgin" :v I'm with someone who is totally a lip virgin and virgin-virgin though... I know it's kind of a silly concept. And I value it more like, the first time you do something with _that person_, instead of just focusing on the first time you do something _ever_ with anybody. But I still get kind of giggly and giddy at the idea I might break him of one or both of those things... derp


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## Wildstyle

I'm still a "lip virgin" but I have did get to second base for the first time this year. It was such a silly thing to do and it spread around my school like wild fire. I've now seen the girl for her true ways and I hate her now :/ (and she hates me)

I'm still looking for that special someone


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## Squornshellous Beta

I'm not a virgin by any stretch of the word :B Though I was until sometime in april or may I think.


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## Cerberus87

Alraune said:


> I'm a virgin, but not a "lip virgin" :v I'm with someone who is totally a lip virgin and virgin-virgin though... I know it's kind of a silly concept. And I value it more like, the first time you do something with _that person_, instead of just focusing on the first time you do something _ever_ with anybody. But I still get kind of giggly and giddy at the idea I might break him of one or both of those things... derp


I wholeheartedly agree with you. I've done it quite a few times, but never with a girl I actually loved from the bottom of my heart. My last girlfriend would've been the "real" first one if she wasn't so conservative about sex (well, since I broke up with her, maybe I didn't love her that much...). Well, she WAS a late virgin so it was to be expected.

About your own virginity, don't waste it! It's important to do it with someone you love (and hopefully it's the person you're with now!). My first time went totally wrong, so much as I don't even call it my actual first.


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## Autumn

i lost my virginity twelve hours ago to my boyfriend.

twas awesome >3


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## Stormecho

Unsurprisingly, yes, still am. And a lip virgin too, though that doesn't really exist over here...? Never heard of it used as a term before.


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## Butterfree

Incredibly enough, I am _still_ not a virgin! What is this madness.


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## opaltiger

Nope!



Butterfree said:


> Incredibly enough, I am _still_ not a virgin! What is this madness.


Honestly, Butterfree! All these years and you _still_ haven't managed to find it again?


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## Eta Carinae

Never vote on a poll like this before 6:15 in the morning, or at least before the time when you register what the _answers actually mean_.  Blegh.

Yes, I'm a virgin.  Age-wise, that's to be expected.  Though, only a few weeks ago I got an offer from a girl to go to third base, which was, uh, odd to say the least.  Never took her up on it though, and glad that I didn't.


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## opaltiger

Denryu said:


> Never vote on a poll like this before 6:15 in the morning, or at least before the time when you register what the _answers actually mean_.  Blegh.
> 
> Yes, I'm a virgin.  Age-wise, that's to be expected.  Though, only a few weeks ago I got an offer from a girl to go to third base, which was, uh, odd to say the least.  Never took her up on it though, and glad that I didn't.


Would you like me to swap your vote around?


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## Murkrow

I am. But I accidentally touched the back of a girl's hand once! That almost counts!


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## Tarvos

Not a virgin, herp derp. Outta practice though.


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## Tailsy

I must admit that I don't personally see what's so coveted or exciting about virginity. To me, it's just kind of a meaningless ~spiritual~ thing, on par with all the God crap I had to suffer through as a child because hey, I believe this, so so should you! It just makes me feel all 'bleh' inside, and I'm pretty glad that I 'lost' mine when I did. 

I remember someone telling me after I had told them I decided to have sex four months into my first 'proper' relationship that I had _given it up too early_. Deeply amusing.


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## Minish

I think cultural opinion of it is sort of changing! Maybe this is just me, but I just sort of... never cared about virginity or even really thought of it?? It's just, one day I wasn't a virgin any more I guess!

Also I value the particularly meaningful times a lot more than the ~~first~~ time. Just like how I'd value the yummier times I've had cake more than the ~~first~~ time I had cake! Mm, cake.


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## Tarvos

It took me quite a long time to lose it but that's okay. It was good fun exploring everything you could do before going for the money shot. And I was 20 at the time, so...


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## Noctowl

I lost mine to an idiot who only wanted me for sex. =/ 

My new boyfriend is much better. :)


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## Zora of Termina

...There's a lot higher percentage of non-virgins than the last time we had this poll.

At any rate, yes, I still am. Unfortunately.
Hopefully though, come summer, that will change. <3


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## hopeandjoy

...I pressed no on accident.

God dammit, I wish. However, I am romantically incompetent.


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## Mr. Moon

Nope. :L
No real story to it. :/


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## M&F

Polymetric Sesquialtera said:


> i lost my virginity twelve hours ago to my boyfriend.
> 
> twas awesome >3


A tad late, but I couldn't resist the joke.


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## Autumn

Metallica Fanboy said:


> A tad late, but I couldn't resist the joke.


bahaha it's fine

i was very tempted to text some of my friends with just "I JUST HAD SEX" but... didn't x3


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## Eta Carinae

opaltiger said:


> Would you like me to swap your vote around?


That would be nice, thank you opal.


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## opaltiger

Denryu said:


> That would be nice, thank you opal.


I can't change the names that come up for the options, but I did swap the numbers around. hopeandjoy, I hope you don't mind, I fixed yours too.


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## Flora

Yes.

I've been kissed but never actually _done_ it. Heck, I've never even gotten to first base XD


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## allitersonance

Answering feels like cheating.


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## Cerberus87

What is first, second, third base? I'm not a native English speaker so I'm not familiar with this slang.


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## bulbasaur

First base is kissing, second base is feeling a partner's parts, third base is stimulating a partner's genetila to orgasm (or receiving such stimulation), "home run" is sex. Think of it as "the four F's": French, finger, fellatio, f**k


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## Mr. Moon

Well said, Bulbasaur.
Until I can find it, or someone would like to lend me theirs, my answer remains the same.


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## Cerberus87

Thanks Bulbasaur!


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## Tarvos

bulbasaur said:


> First base is kissing, second base is feeling a partner's parts, third base is stimulating a partner's genetila to orgasm (or receiving such stimulation), "home run" is sex. Think of it as "the four F's": French, finger, fellatio, f**k


This baseball metaphor is a little dependent on definition actually. Some people define 2nd as above the waist


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## Autumn

The common definition used around here (and the one my boyfriend and i went by) is 



Spoiler



first is kissing, second is feeling and possibly stimulating genitals, third is _oral_ stimulation of genitals, fourth/"home run" is sex.


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## Shiny Grimer

I've made out with someone who is no longer my boyfriend. Once while making out (on a bed!) we ended up feeling each other's backs up but he went a bit too high for my comfort and so I pulled his hand down. Intimacy issues~ I have never engaged in sex of any kind nor ever had contact with someone else's genitals.


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## Aletheia

Still a hopeless romantic virgin, as one would expect. There's a good chance I'll stay that way for a while.

I do, however, have quite a prolific relationship with myself.


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## Harlequin

Sex is fun and enjoyable and completely not serious or massive or whatever unless you want it to be. It's just something fun that you can do with someone you like (or with someone you just met!). Yay sex!


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## 1. Luftballon

I prefer


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## Light

Twilight Sparkle said:


> Hello! I'd like to talk to you about your sex life.
> 
> Virginity is a complex concept, but generally the rule of thumb is 'if you no longer feel or identify as a virgin, then you are not one'. Scarleteen has a great FAQ on the subject if you require further clarification or have any queries. Feel free to ask the kind and very, very sexually active(!) members of this forum if there's anything else.
> 
> I let my virginity fly free from my fingertips at the age of sixteen. I almost typed 'sexteen' there, that was terribly unfortunate. This is pretty much just a remake of the previous thread since many people's answers are no longer accurate.
> 
> Vote on the poll. Roll w/ it.





Viki said:


> Thus far I have had panic attacks whenever someone actually _tries to ask me out_.  I think my answer is unlikely to change unless someone I trust propositions me for casual sex.


Wait, Viki and Twilight Sparkle are not the same person?


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## Tailsy

エル.;556233 said:
			
		

> Wait, Viki and Twilight Sparkle are not the same person?


Don't talk about my multiple personality disorder in such a flippant manner!


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## Light

Oh sorry. Want me to delete my post?


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## Tailsy

Nah, I'll just add '"oh you" reactions' to the list of things I cannot make happen.


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## octobr

I learned how to cuddle last year so there's that


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## Shiny Grimer

Harlequin said:


> Sex is fun and enjoyable and completely not serious or massive or whatever unless you want it to be. It's just something fun that you can do with someone you like (or with someone you just met!). Yay sex!


I dont know, I would not feel comfortable engaging in such an intimate activity with someone I just met. Some people are cool doing that, and that is great for them! I honestly require some sort of emotional bond to even begin doing touchy-feely things.


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## surskitty

Harlequin said:


> Sex is fun and enjoyable and completely not serious or massive or whatever unless you want it to be. It's just something fun that you can do with someone you like (or with someone you just met!). Yay sex!


I'm pretty sure someone you just met who you are having sex with falls into the category of someone you like, otherwise you would probably go :/ and not have sex.


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## Harlequin

... said:


> I dont know, I would not feel comfortable engaging in such an intimate activity with someone I just met. Some people are cool doing that, and that is great for them! I honestly require some sort of emotional bond to even begin doing touchy-feely things.


That is fair! Sex with people you've only recently met isn't for everyone!



Viki said:


> I'm pretty sure someone you just met who you are having sex with falls into the category of someone you like, otherwise you would probably go :/ and not have sex.


Well, I meant "like" in the sense that "I like your personality and whatnot, and we can probably be friends as well as sex-friends" rather than just "I met you in a club, you're hot, let's fuck". Both can be fun!


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## Spoon

Yep! I'm uninterested in dating, and would be hopelessly awkward if I wasn't, so I don't see this changing anytime soon.


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## surskitty

Harlequin said:


> Well, I meant "like" in the sense that "I like your personality and whatnot, and we can probably be friends as well as sex-friends" rather than just "I met you in a club, you're hot, let's fuck". Both can be fun!


I know someone who met eir husband in a threesome!  Eir friend was like I WANT TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH THIS ONE GUY; COME JOIN ME and then e and eir current husband were like I JUST MET YOU AND I LIKE YOU and they both ended up ignoring their mutual friend.  And now they're married.  So that's at least one meaningful friendship made from having sex with people you've just met.


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## octobr

Viki said:


> Thus far I have had panic attacks whenever someone actually _tries to ask me out_.  I think my answer is unlikely to change unless someone I trust propositions me for casual sex.


So hey


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## Mr. Moon

If I could "like" the above comment I would. Nice.

Uh, lost my virginity to...Well, she was my best friend at the time. xD
Couple years ago.


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## Automata heart

Never kissed anyone that I count. (a few gone to kiss people on the cheek and missed) and still a virgin. No plans to change that unitll I can support any offspring it lands me with.


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## surskitty

sakura said:


> Never kissed anyone that I count. (a few gone to kiss people on the cheek and missed) and still a virgin. No plans to change that unitll I can support any offspring it lands me with.


Condoms exist, you know :Db  As does having sex in ways that do not involve sticking a penis in a vagina.


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## Ether's Bane

No!...

...yes. :(


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## Harlequin

Viki said:


> I know someone who met eir husband in a threesome!  Eir friend was like I WANT TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH THIS ONE GUY; COME JOIN ME and then e and eir current husband were like I JUST MET YOU AND I LIKE YOU and they both ended up ignoring their mutual friend.  And now they're married.  So that's at least one meaningful friendship made from having sex with people you've just met.


Well that can happen too!


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## goldenquagsire

I've lost my 'mouth virginity' (never heard that one before, hm) and came damn close to losing my real virginity, but then the evening kind of went tits-up (and not in a good way, sadly)...


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## Worst Username Ever

I still am, yes. And a "lip virgin" too.


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## Saith

Some girl just lost hers
Awwwwww yeah  B-)


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## surskitty

Where did you put it?


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## Saith

Well I keep 'em all in a box, don't I?
It's, like, mystical fuck voodoo.
The more I have sex, the better I become.
It's pretty fucking neato.


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## goldenquagsire

> Well I keep 'em all in a box, don't I?


Why did this come to mind? :(


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## Scohui

goldenquagsire said:


> Why did this come to mind? :(


Same here.


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## Ivy Newton

Lip-virgin... honestly never heard of that before. Does it count if it was during a game of truth-or-dare? Probably. So, not a lip-virgin. Which surprises me incredibly, since the closest I've gotten to dating anyone is about as far as the moon is from earth.

Virgin-virgin... yeah and probably not gonna change anytime soon. While I can see it being enjoyable, I'm too squeamish to get over the whole "naked bodies touching and exchanging bodily fluids" thing. Maybe if we fucked in the shower.
Also there's the whole problem of complete and utter inability to work up the courage to do anything romantic. The closest I've gotten is "accidentally" falling asleep on my classmate's shoulder during a long plane flight. Hehe.


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## spaekle

goldenquagsire said:


> Why did this come to mind? :(


Well, that's not too bad, I thought of how they found a shoebox full of labias in Ed Gein's house. :I


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## Saith

Oh god guys, stop. >:I


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## Autumn

Newton said:


> While I can see it being enjoyable, I'm too squeamish to get over the whole "naked bodies touching and exchanging bodily fluids" thing.


That's what I used to think for pretty much my entire life up until I started dating my boyfriend, and even for a significant period of time after that. I used to think I was biromantic homosexual because I found girls more attractive than guys and penises _really_ grossed me out. Then my boyfriend came along and, well, I mean. Sex makes sense and you stop being squeamish about it if it's with someone you truly love.


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## Tarvos

Honestly, the thing about sex is, it feels good!

Not as gross as you think. You know what's gross? Necrosis on wikipedia. Sex isn't gross.


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## Saith

Sex _is_ pretty gross. I remember when I first found out about it, I was all 'I'm meant to put my what in her _WHAT?!_ You're joking, right?'
But then, when I first found out about honey and lemon, I was all 'you're meant to mix this with _WHAT?!_'. Turns out, honey and lemon is really good for you, and tastes fucking amazing.


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## goldenquagsire

I don't get this whole 'sex is gross' thing. You don't think of it as gross to masturbate (unless you've had an absolutely screwed-up childhood), and sex is just masturbating someone else... kind of.



technosexual said:


> Well, that's not too bad, I thought of how they found a shoebox full of labias in Ed Gein's house. :I





> Not as gross as you think. You know what's gross? Necrosis on wikipedia. Sex isn't gross.


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## shy ♡

Guys, some people just don't like sex. Get over it. And yeah, some people don't like to masturbate. Shocking I know.


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## Butterfree

goldenquagsire said:


> I don't get this whole 'sex is gross' thing. You don't think of it as gross to masturbate (unless you've had an absolutely screwed-up childhood)


What? Masturbating is _completely_ gross. Actually, it's grosser than sex! I was okay with the idea of sex _long_ before I was okay with masturbation because at least then the only body parts in contact with the grossness are parts that are already gross. Getting _hands_ involved, as in the things that you eat and type and do stuff with? _Ewww_. (You know what's even grosser than masturbation? _French kissing_. Though that's not as bad as oral sex.)

Anyway, because evolution is good at eliminating these kinds of hinderments to procreation, it turns out most people just kind of stop caring about the grossness once they're sufficiently turned on, and eventually you even get used to it to the point where it doesn't even seem that gross when you aren't turned on at all. It's magic! Suddenly you just want to kiss your boyfriend and you don't give a damn about the fact you're eating his saliva in the process. Imagine that.

But the viewpoint that sex just _isn't_ gross simply puzzles me.


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## Tailsy

No, you guys are all wrong. It's not gross, and it's not weird.

Sex is fuckin' hilarious. Scientific fact. Penises? Hilarious. Vaginas? Adorable. Testicles? Never-ending levels of hysteria. Butts? All wiggly and bouncy. Shit can't be taken seriously.

(Yes, my boyfriend probably hates me.)


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## Scohui

That's....weird?


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## octobr

I love your outlook and I want to marry it.

Not you though. I understand you're in a relationship or somethin.


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## MentheLapin

Twilight Sparkle said:


> Sex is fuckin' hilarious. Scientific fact. Penises? Hilarious. Vaginas? Adorable. Testicles? Never-ending levels of hysteria. Butts? All wiggly and bouncy. Shit can't be taken seriously.


Reasons why I will forever be a virgin: I would burst out into fits of uncontrollable laughter halfway through.


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## Scohui

...

Sex is a circus.


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## Hiikaru

Frosty~ said:


> Yeah. My last (only) girlfriend didn't want to go beyond holding hands after four months together, which was kind of silly, considering she was the one who showed interest in me in the first place :V
> And I'm too much of an anti-social git and I'm terrible at meeting people. I don't think I could do the conventional dating thing.


Um, what exactly is wrong with _not_ wanting to do anything except holding hands after four months? If that's all someone's ready for, it's not up to you to decide that they're being silly! Also "showing interest" (which sounds like you just mean that she asked you out?) does not mean that someone wants to kiss you right now or do anything else. If you'd like to go beyond holding hands a lot sooner, maybe that's not the right person for you (because it's also okay for you to have your own things that you want in a relationship!), but you can't just say she was being silly - it's her choice!

And lots and lots and lots of people aren't ready for _sex_ after four months, it's a big deal for people and lots wait for much longer than that! 



Tarvos said:


> Honestly, the thing about sex is, it feels good!
> 
> Not as gross as you think. You know what's gross? Necrosis on wikipedia. Sex isn't gross.


If it feels good for you, great! That's not necessarily the case for everyone, and it may be the case that it does or would feel good to someone, but that they still find it gross, and that's _fine_. If someone finds sex gross, it doesn't mean ey's unenlightened and just needs to be taught how amazing and wonderful it is, it just means ey finds sex gross, and that's okay, because not everyone has to have or like sex.

It shouldn't be treated as an awful secret immoral thing, but it also shouldn't be treated as if everyone ever wants to have sex as much as possible and anyone who says otherwise is lying or dumb. It's _fine_ not to like sex.



goldenquagsire said:


> I don't get this whole 'sex is gross' thing. You don't think of it as gross to masturbate (unless you've had an absolutely screwed-up childhood), and sex is just masturbating someone else... kind of.


Why are you assuming that absolutely everyone likes and participates in solo-sex...? Someone can have a perfectly normal or great childhood and still find it gross, and there are even people who have never even tried because they just don't want to! And someone can be grossed out by solo-sex and not by partnered sex, or vice versa - adding anyone else into it makes it a lot different!


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## Autumn

Hiikaru ♥;559251 said:
			
		

> And someone can be grossed out by solo-sex and not by partnered sex, or vice versa - adding anyone else into it makes it a lot different!


this be me hehe


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## Jolty

I think masturbation is gross but I still do it anyway
and my childhood was fine
where the hell d'you even get an assumption like that from? crikey


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## Tailsy

MentheLapin said:


> Reasons why I will forever be a virgin: I would burst out into fits of uncontrollable laughter halfway through.


This is real. This is me. 

I laughed the first time I saw my boyfriend's dick. Please note that his dick is /perfectly normal/ and there is nothing wrong with it; I just laughed because man, foreskins are so CUTE!


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## ultraviolet

Twilight Sparkle said:


> This is real. This is me.
> 
> I laughed the first time I saw my boyfriend's dick. Please note that his dick is /perfectly normal/ and there is nothing wrong with it; I just laughed because man, foreskins are so CUTE!


oh god I did this too with my first boyfriend! agreeing a lot that foreskins/testicles are amusing. :D

(also am I the only one here who doesn't find penises particularly ugly??)


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## Tailsy

I never said they were ugly! They're _funny_, which is a whole other realm of awesome.


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## Saith

I find 'em cute.
It's vaginas that gross me out. Which is, uh, kinda weird I guess.


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## Tarvos

flopflopflop


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## Cerberus87

I don't find sexual organs gross, but dirtier than the rest of the body... Engaging in oral sex can be difficult for me, because you never know how well the other person takes care of their stuff unless you've been in a relationship for some time.

It's ok if you like sex or not, want to preserve yourself until marriage, or whatever. Sex isn't the be all, end it all of a relationship. Being literally and willingly sexually attacked by a woman much older than me taught me the wrong idea that sex was too important.

That being said, I like sex.


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## Coroxn

We have a term like "Lip Virgin" over here, called "Friggit", which I am no longer to be classed as thanks to one girl on a holiday and two at at a disco. Virgin-virgin? Currently fourteen, so not for a while, at least. We can do it legally at 16 here, though, but who cares about laws...

EDIT-The gif directly below will encapsulated the feeling pretty well, I gather.


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## Butterfree

Last time I checked, the age of consent in Iceland is fourteen, _but_ sex between a person over eighteen and a person under eighteen is illegal. Which means it was quite legal for me to lose my virginity (the day after I turned seventeen, though that was a coincidence), but it became technically illegal again when he turned eighteen a few months later but I didn't. Not that anybody in the world would actually prosecute that.


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## Cerberus87

There's no such thing as an "age of consent" in my country. Instead, we use the age below which sexual act could be considered presumed rape, which is, IIRC, 13 or younger.


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## opaltiger

Cerberus said:


> There's no such thing as an "age of consent" in my country. Instead, we use the age below which sexual act could be considered presumed rape, which is, IIRC, 13 or younger.


Really? Wiki disagrees! (Besides, isn't that basically how the age of consent is usually defined?).



> In Brazil, the age of consent is 14, regardless of gender and/or sexual orientation, with a close-in-age exception that allows those aged 12 to engage in sexual activity with partners who are less than 5 years older.


----------



## Cerberus87

opaltiger said:


> Really? Wiki disagrees! (Besides, isn't that basically how the age of consent is usually defined?).


Well it's not an "age of consent" because it's not explicitly said "age of consent". :P We extract an age of consent from interpreting a rule meant for something else.

About the other rule, I've never heard of it (and I'm a graduated law student!) and Wiki doesn't cite any references, so perhaps it's something decided in court? (which would definitely have its worth in the absence of written rule)


----------



## Shimmer Mint

I am a virgin and quite proud of it. I've definitely kissed before but for sex, never done it. I'd rather wait until marriage plus the scare of STIs and such have kept me from doing it with anyone. Being in my last year of high school, I've been asked to have sex or just "play around" by a few guys and saying no made me get called rude things so I'm glad I declined. I'd rather wait to do it with someone I truly cared about and that truly cared about me.


----------



## Cerberus87

BEthegreat said:


> I am a virgin and quite proud of it. I've definitely kissed before but for sex, never done it. I'd rather wait until marriage plus the scare of STIs and such have kept me from doing it with anyone. Being in my last year of high school, I've been asked to have sex or just "play around" by a few guys and saying no made me get called rude things so I'm glad I declined. I'd rather wait to do it with someone I truly cared about and that truly cared about me.


They were definitely jerks for blatantly asking you to have sex... Nice people are rare in this world.


----------



## Shimmer Mint

Cerberus said:


> They were definitely jerks for blatantly asking you to have sex... Nice people are rare in this world.


Especially in high school. The one guy was a guy I liked (silly I know) so it was somewhat hard to say no but it became easier when I found out he was doing this to other girls. It makes me loose hope in people....


----------



## Flora

BEthegreat said:


> Being in my last year of high school, I've been asked to have sex or just "play around" by a few guys and saying no made me get called rude things so I'm glad I declined. I'd rather wait to do it with someone I truly cared about and that truly cared about me.


I hate it when guys do that. I knew my ex for a month before he started being all "okay so I know you're saving yourself for marriage BUT YOU SHOULD *censored because I don't want to scar the younger members for like plus really really inappropriate and several of the members know this*" and I was like "ummmmmmm no thank you." To which his response was "BUT IF YOU TRUST ME YOU'LL DO IT" and my thought was "I WONDER WHY I DON'T TRUST YOU THEN."

Idiot.


----------



## surskitty

Cerberus said:


> They were definitely jerks for blatantly asking you to have sex... Nice people are rare in this world.


Eh, it's better to not have to wonder about their motivations, I think.

Though I think "Let's have sex." "Okay!" is more common in college ...


----------



## Harlequin

""Let's have sex!" "Okay!"" is like, the _dream_. (unless you're looking for a relationship, in which case it's just kind of annoying)


----------



## Solar Espeon

... I'm ELEVEN. I would be weird if I wasn't a virgin... > .>


----------



## Shimmer Mint

Flower Doll said:


> I hate it when guys do that. I knew my ex for a month before he started being all "okay so I know you're saving yourself for marriage BUT YOU SHOULD *censored because I don't want to scar the younger members for like plus really really inappropriate and several of the members know this*" and I was like "ummmmmmm no thank you." To which his response was "BUT IF YOU TRUST ME YOU'LL DO IT" and my thought was "I WONDER WHY I DON'T TRUST YOU THEN."
> 
> Idiot.


Story of my life! One guy I was friends with had a crush on me and was all sweet and everything so within a year I fell for him. Then a year later, he turned into a sexist jerk (which I didn't know about until I went through this whole deal). He asked if I could send naked pictures of myself and obviously I didn't feel comfortable with it so I told him that and he said, "I'll delete it right after. You can trust me." I told him maybe since I didn't want to loose him as a friend. Then half a year later, I found out he was doing the same thing to my cousin who was three years younger than him O_O Like seriously. What is wrong with high school guys?


----------



## Shimmer Mint

Flower Doll said:


> I hate it when guys do that. I knew my ex for a month before he started being all "okay so I know you're saving yourself for marriage BUT YOU SHOULD *censored because I don't want to scar the younger members for like plus really really inappropriate and several of the members know this*" and I was like "ummmmmmm no thank you." To which his response was "BUT IF YOU TRUST ME YOU'LL DO IT" and my thought was "I WONDER WHY I DON'T TRUST YOU THEN."
> 
> Idiot.


Story of my life! One guy I was friends with had a crush on me and was all sweet and everything so within a year I fell for him. Then a year later, he turned into a sexist jerk (which I didn't know about until I went through this whole deal). He asked if I could send naked pictures of myself and obviously I didn't feel comfortable with it so I told him that and he said, "I'll delete it right after. You can trust me." I told him maybe since I didn't want to loose him as a friend. Then half a year later, I found out he was doing the same thing to my cousin who was three years younger than him O_O Like seriously. What is wrong with high school guys?


----------



## Flora

BEthegreat said:


> What is wrong with high school guys?


My ex was a freshman. A very perverted one.

His mom was worried _I'd_ try something on _him_ since I'm two years older. (i find that fairly ironic)


----------



## surskitty

BEthegreat said:


> What is wrong with high school guys?


'High school'?

I don't think that suddenly goes away once they're out of high school ....


----------



## Vladimir Putin's LJ

I'm honestly curious about this: why do people want to wait until marriage to have sex? That just seems like such an arbitrary thing to me. It's not like sex is some sort of prize you should dangle over your partner's head, marriage is much more serious than sex, since it involves a ton of cash and legal agreements.
Sex involves the money needed for contraceptives aaand that's it as far as costs go. Woo!

As for me, I'm a virgin but that has something to do with me being both unattractive and uninteresting and also socially awkward? But if a friend asked, I'd put out, yeah. I'm not that bothered, really :^y


----------



## Shimmer Mint

Viki said:


> 'High school'?
> 
> I don't think that suddenly goes away once they're out of high school ....


Then I officially give up.


----------



## M&F

Funny thing about the hating that sex be withheld is that I've had peers expect me to have this attitude.

Even worse, if I ever claim to know a girl which one of them finds hot, the immediate question will be why I'm not banging that.


----------



## opaltiger

Viki said:


> 'High school'?
> 
> I don't think that suddenly goes away once they're out of high school ....


Could we possibly not generalise to an entire gender?


----------



## Tailsy

I'm pretty sure Viki is meaning that the particular brand of 'high school guy' who prepositions people with creepy 'woo send me pictures of yo titties' banter are not exactly likely to mysteriously stop being creepy once they graduate.


----------



## Butterfree

Flower Doll said:


> I hate it when guys do that. I knew my ex for a month before he started being all "okay so I know you're saving yourself for marriage BUT YOU SHOULD *censored because I don't want to scar the younger members for like plus really really inappropriate and several of the members know this*" and I was like "ummmmmmm no thank you." To which his response was "BUT IF YOU TRUST ME YOU'LL DO IT" and my thought was "I WONDER WHY I DON'T TRUST YOU THEN."
> 
> Idiot.


Yyyyeah I am way too familiar with this particular brand of asshattery.

Protip to anyone: people who try to coerce you into doing things you genuinely don't want to do because "if you really love me you'll do it for me!" should be stayed far, far away from. If _they_ really love _you_ (and have any degree of understanding of what that really means), they won't try to hang your love for them over your head to get you to do what they want.


----------



## octobr

On the other hand, masturbation is both completely normal and completely awesome. 

(He says, as he remembers getting distracted from it to think about story ideas. Sigh.)


----------



## Tarvos

if you're not comfortable doing something you shouldn't be doing it when you're having sex - that should be a ground rule and anyone who does NOT understand that is a gigantic asshat


----------



## Hiikaru

Vladimir Putin's LJ said:


> I'm honestly curious about this: why do people want to wait until marriage to have sex? That just seems like such an arbitrary thing to me. It's not like sex is some sort of prize you should dangle over your partner's head, marriage is much more serious than sex, since it involves a ton of cash and legal agreements.
> Sex involves the money needed for contraceptives aaand that's it as far as costs go. Woo!
> 
> As for me, I'm a virgin but that has something to do with me being both unattractive and uninteresting and also socially awkward? But if a friend asked, I'd put out, yeah. I'm not that bothered, really :^y


Please don't push the attitude that it's _bad_ or a mistake for someone to take sex seriously. It's fine if you personally don't take it seriously or don't understand! But it's perfectly valid and okay for someone to feel differently, too.  (Something isn't only made serious by the amount of money involved!)

One reason is just religion! But you could figure that out on your own. Waiting to have sex isn't because it's a _prize_, everyone involved just wants to be sure they're ready for it and that they won't have regrets! Even if you feel like you'd just have sex with a friend who asked without caring, not everyone feels that way - sex has a lot of emotions involved for a lot of people, and it can cause a lot of hurt feelings that no one wants to have.

Waiting until marriage is kind of like waiting until both people have made a big comittment to the other, so they're sure that they like each other and want to be together! Or that's the idea, anyway - it doesn't work out that way a lot of the time. And it can even be a bad idea to wait until after marriage to have sex, because then it turns out both people have totally different wants or needs and now they're really unhappy! But marriage feels to a lot of people like a big special thing (even if lots of other people feel like it's arbitrary!) and they want a big special thing to happen to make sure that it's okay to have sex, as that's also a big special thing to them!


----------



## Scohui

And my lip virginity is gone.

It was an accident, but whatever.


----------



## Vladimir Putin's LJ

Hiikaru ♥;561402 said:
			
		

> Please don't push the attitude that it's _bad_ or a mistake for someone to take sex seriously. It's fine if you personally don't take it seriously or don't understand! But it's perfectly valid and okay for someone to feel differently, too.  (Something isn't only made serious by the amount of money involved!)


I... never said they're not allowed to feel differently? What? I'm sorry if anyone got offended (though I also don't get why anyone would be offended by that post) but I literally do not understand forcing other people to wait for sex just because you set an arbitrary date. Of course, no one should pressure anyone into having a sexual relationship, but what I mean is: both parties are willing but the only reason they're not doing it is because marriage. Why?

It seems to me that people are creating their own problems by hyping up marriage as some sort of holy grail :v


----------



## Aletheia

VROOOOM said:


> (He says, as he remembers getting distracted from it to think about story ideas. Sigh.)


It's the other way around for me :(


----------



## Minish

Vladimir Putin's LJ said:


> I... never said they're not allowed to feel differently? What? I'm sorry if anyone got offended (though I also don't get why anyone would be offended by that post) but I literally do not understand forcing other people to wait for sex just because you set an arbitrary date. Of course, no one should pressure anyone into having a sexual relationship, but what I mean is: both parties are willing but the only reason they're not doing it is because marriage. Why?
> 
> It seems to me that people are creating their own problems by hyping up marriage as some sort of holy grail :v


You asked "why do people _want_ to wait", nobody's talking about force! Having to not have sex before marriage because of religion is kind of not fun, but sex means different things to different people and it's not really fair to just blanket-shame them all. I think that's the issue Hiikaru has, and less to do what you're saying, and more about this general attitude.

As to why, vi gave some reasons! Maybe they will just only feel comfortable that way, and that's just it. Maybe they just want the build-up! It'd be cool to hear some opinions from those who are in this crowd, there are just lots and lots of (good _and_ not so great reasons) why someone might not want to have sex before marriage.


----------



## Murkrow

Cirrus said:


> You asked "why do people _want_ to wait", nobody's talking about force! Having to not have sex before marriage because of religion is kind of not fun, but sex means different things to different people and it's not really fair to just blanket-shame them all. I think that's the issue Hiikaru has, and less to do what you're saying, and more about this general attitude.


Surely it's not really fair to shame anyone?


----------



## Minish

Rasrap Smurf said:


> Surely it's not really fair to shame anyone?


You're right! Not what I was saying.


----------



## Murkrow

Right, it just seemed like you meant something like "It's okay to want to wait until after marriage in some cases but in other cases you're silly" is all


----------



## Minish

! Oh, it would make sense if you got that impression from the rest of my post! Sure, I do maybe think that. I think it's silly if your parents told you that's just the way it has to be, or because everyone says they're doing that, etc., there are bad reasons too. I'd say the idea's silly rather than the person, though!


----------



## Cerberus87

Bad thing about waiting until marriage is that people might push it and marry without being ready, just for that: sex. Most people aren't like that, but it might happen.


----------



## Karousever

I'm a virgin, and according to what Omskivar said I'm also a lip virgin. Girls like me, I just...have an uncomfortableness about doing things I haven't done before, so much to the fact that I try to avoid them in anyway possible. So it's like...I _want_ to kiss a girl, but try as hard as I can not to by accident because I'm too afraid. Make sense? Anyway, if I kiss a girl soon, that's fine, but losing my actual virginity I'd like to wait...for a while. XD


----------



## surskitty

... How would you accidentally kiss someone ...


----------



## Scohui

Turn your head quickly.


----------



## surskitty

That'd still probably not involve tongue, which I'm assuming is the sort of kissing people are talking about.


----------



## Scohui

I'm not going to use the tongue in real kissing. That's gross.


----------



## Minish

Viki said:


> That'd still probably not involve tongue, which I'm assuming is the sort of kissing people are talking about.


Really? I know lots of people (myself included) who never kissed with tongue until lots of kisses after their first! If I gave that baseball analogy any credibility at all, 'second base' should totally be kissing with tongue.


----------



## surskitty

It's worth noting that I don't have any firsthand experience in the matter.


----------



## surskitty

It's worth noting that I don't have any firsthand experience in the matter.


----------



## Autumn

my boyfriend and i first kissed just on the lips without tongue and i was all "um tongue seems kinda gross, you're putting your tongue in someone else's MOUTH i mean" and then we did it once and it's kinda. not gross. when it's with someone you care about hehe
just like every other act associated with love/lust


----------



## Ivy Newton

I think we need a new term for kissing-with-tongue virgin. Makeout virgin? Idk.

Tongues are disgusting. Not just the idea of sticking it in someone else's mouth, but generally.


----------



## spaekle

Is kissing with tongue supposed to feel good or something? Because my partner and I really don't get it and feel stupid doing it.


----------



## Cerberus87

I like kissing with tongue. Without tongue feels like every other kiss.


----------



## Butterfree

technosexual said:


> Is kissing with tongue supposed to feel good or something? Because my partner and I really don't get it and feel stupid doing it.


It took me _years_ to start to want anything to do with tongues when kissing, but relatively recently it just sort of... started to feel natural. I don't even really know why! I use my tongue kind of unusually, though. I don't like it touching _his_ tongue.


----------



## ultraviolet

hey kids, here's something fun to do: exhale sharply just as your partner's about to kiss you and run away giggling

see also: my first boyfriend and our entire relationship


----------



## Tailsy

alternatively, wait until you're gettin' hot and heavy and then surprise knee your boyfriend in the balls when you try to get his jeans off

still my entire relationship to this day

(please note that I am not sadistic, just a little bit wonky.)


----------



## Minish

ultraviolet said:


> hey kids, here's something fun to do: exhale sharply just as your partner's about to kiss you and run away giggling


no, no, DURING KISSING

_the most hilarious_ :DDD


----------



## Shimmer Mint

At first, the thought of using tongues to kiss just disgusted me but as soon as I gave it a try, I ended up liking it..heh.


----------



## Munchkin

I'm not sure when I started using my tongue during kissing, but it was a few years ago now. My current boyfriend and I have been together for 18 months now (since yesterday, woot~), and I feel totally comfortable with him in every way. He's not allowed in my house thanks to my mother (the details of that situation I refuse to divulge), so I usually end up going to his house on the weekends. I spend all Saturday there, occasionally having slept over from the previous night, and after going home Saturday night I return again to spend all of Sunday with him.

Because we spend so much time together, we are totally comfortable around each other in our undergarments~ We've showered together <3

Needless to say, I am _not_ a virgin. Not in any way, shape, or form.


----------



## Autumn

Munchkin said:


> occasionally having slept over from the previous night


luckyyyyyyy ;~; omg if me and my boyfriend could have a sleepover that would be the absolute best thing in the world

course his mom would never *ever* allow it so :(


----------



## Wargle

Unfortunately, I am not a virgin. It was peer pressured onto me by a guy who I was dating but just liked me for my body and used me as a trophy to his friends...

But after that, I did it again, but with someone I love(/d at times)


----------



## Zero Moment

Newton said:


> I think we need a new term for kissing-with-tongue virgin. Makeout virgin? Idk.


A French Virgin?


----------



## Music Dragon

Legendaryseeker99 said:


> A French Virgin?


Ahaha! That's an oxymoron!


----------



## Munchkin

Polymetric Sesquialtera said:


> course his mom would never *ever* allow it so :(


I'm fortunate enough for my boyfriend's whole family (immediate family - the ones I've met so far) to all seem to love me. Apparently his mother is getting me a birthday gift and is super excited for my turning 16 <3

However, my family (only mom and brother here) _loathes_ him. In fact, I keep as many details hidden from my family as possible. My sleeping over sometimes? My mom never knows. I leave Friday night after she sleeps and return on Saturday while she's at work.


----------



## Jason-Kun

Cerberus said:


> They were definitely jerks for blatantly asking you to have sex... Nice people are rare in this world.


No. They're jerks for insulting her when she said no, asking has nothing to do with it.

Personally I'm still a virgin but only because my only relationship has been online and I'd rather wait and have sex with someone 've been dating for awhile/ a friend I trust to that extent.


----------



## Mr. Moon

Hearing about all your experiences is so much fun! :D
For those of you who just want to have sex, go to a rave! It's great for sex with someone you'll probably never see again.


----------



## ...

As of yesterday afternoon, I am not a virgin.

I deliberately waited on posting in this thread.


----------



## Autumn

Ashton van Helsing said:


> As of yesterday afternoon, I am not a virgin.
> 
> I deliberately waited on posting in this thread.


high five man :P


----------



## Shiny Grimer

Accidentally voted <no>.

I have made out, but no sex.


----------



## M&F

Ashton van Helsing said:


> As of yesterday afternoon, I am not a virgin.
> 
> I deliberately waited on posting in this thread.


Here we go again.


----------



## Mr. Moon

Awesome. Sex is fun.


----------



## Aisling

Ashton van Helsing said:


> As of yesterday afternoon, I am not a virgin.
> 
> I deliberately waited on posting in this thread.








[/threedayslate] I just love this gif


so we both hit third base for the first time yesterday and holy shit. Solo just isn't fun anymore. But at the same time we're far from being in the clear for home run. That's a little frustrating. :I but I've heard mutual masturbation is sometimes considered sex so I dunno? derp


----------



## voltianqueen

I am.
There's a lot of reasons why, but...no problem. Alone time is still fun xD


----------



## Mr. Moon

voltianqueen said:


> I am.
> There's a lot of reasons why, but...no problem. Alone time is still fun xD


You sound fun.
Unless someone's found it, I still can't find my virginity..."Baby come ba-*shot*"


----------



## Tailsy

Jordan would probably beg to differ. 

"sarah did you just poke yourself in the eye with my dick"
"no i am just crying from one eye because it's so beautiful"


----------



## Autumn

my boyfriend hit me in the head with his dick once and i went "ow!"

he started laughing nonstop for like five minutes


----------



## Karkat Vantas

Tongue kissing is fucking disgusting imo. It's like wrapping your tongue around a flagellum that tastes like your partner's saliva.

yes :(


----------



## Blazie

Yay kissing! Kissing is good, good stuff. So are tongues and all that stuff. But right now anything below the waist is just...ew. xD So yeah, virgin. Very happily so.


----------



## Blastoise Fortooate

Polymetric Sesquialtera said:


> my boyfriend hit me in the head with his dick once and i went "ow!"
> 
> he started laughing nonstop for like five minutes


you act like this is not the normal response


----------



## Autumn

Blastoise Fortooate said:


> you act like this is not the normal response


somehow i didn't expect it to hurt


----------



## octobr

THIS THREAD IS SO DANG FUNNY NOW

having now had a sort of experience with sexytime things (uh, like, what the heck even is virginity - my jellysquishes and I all have vaginas and stuff, so it's not like there's a magical penetration virginity button we can hit, haha. i guess one would still consider me a virgin because i refuse to allow skin-to-skin contact down there without proper protective measures.) let me tell you

not such a big deal (i am sure someone would look down on us cause we've been ~OFFICIALLY DATING~ for just a week, but fuck off, cause we do what we want and now I put on sunglasses YEAH)

it's all kind of really silly actually and I keep making stupid comments partway through and laughing and generally I'm turning into tailsy, oh god. though this may have to do with my growing suspicion that my sex drive has been damaged by my recent change in my dosage of antidepressants! also my rediscovery of dysphoria as brought about by physical contact. 

but like there is nothing life-shattering about sexy things i don't think haha

like i was like 'what if this _changes things_' nope now we just get to make more jokes at each others' expense

maybe this would be different if texas was right next to pennsylvania, wiggles eyebrows



Karkat Vantas said:


> Tongue kissing is fucking disgusting imo. It's like wrapping your tongue around a flagellum that tastes like your partner's saliva.
> 
> yes :(


laughs a lot cause it's true, it's true 


as closure to this post, kids, never do anything you feel pressured into, always make your comfort zones and boundaries clear, and stay safe and use protection. if it's wet and not yours don't touch it unless you're fluid bonded! (◡‿◡✿)


----------



## ArtemisX

> if it's wet and not yours don't touch it


So I shouldn't have picked up that penny from the street while it was raining? Darnit! >.<

Jokes aside, I lost mine a week before my 19th birthday. Of course, since I haven't done it with a female yet, one of my friends still says I'm a virgin because the official definition of "sexual intercourse" according to the dictionary is "the insertion of the penis into the vagina" (I've never gone farther than kissing one of my ex-girlfriends). With my fiance, though, that might change. (We're both guys, but both bi, and have talked about finding a girl to do things with~)

In short, (barring my friend's definition), I'm not a virgin by any means.

Also, threesomes are slightly overrated, but still awesome.


----------



## octobr

ArtemisX said:


> Also, threesomes are slightly overrated, but still awesome.


twosomes are overrated but still awesome 

don't you be knockin my arrangement yo


----------



## ArtemisX

Ryubikon said:
			
		

> Threesomes are amazing, yo
> 
> Try one for yourselves and see


I've been in a couple threesomes. One was great, and the other was slightly less than. I would say it depends on the experience of those involved, but the first one involved a virgin, and the second involved a couple that had plenty of experience under their belts, so to speak.



			
				Verne said:
			
		

> twosomes are overrated but still awesome
> 
> don't you be knockin my arrangement yo


I ain't knocking it. I have to keep to onesomes myself, since my fiance lives halfway around the world.


----------



## nothing to see here

The poll said:
			
		

> Are you a virgin?


Of course.

I have at least gone on dates now (after almost 25 years of having no luck with girls _at all_)... but still no kissing yet, and it's pretty unlikely  that anything beyond that is going to happen anytime soon.

Especially since 99% of the girls I know at the moment are  Mormons, with the whole "no sex before marriage" thing.  Or they're already married or have boyfriends.  Or both.


----------



## Nanabshuckle8

Yup, in every way possible other than solo. Damn it :/


----------



## Momo(th)

I'm a Virgin, and to be honest, I don't really care. It's funny, because I have a lot of friends-who-are-girls, so you would assume that I score every other night.


----------



## Hiikaru

Chibispore said:


> I'm a Virgin, and to be honest, I don't really care. It's funny, because I have a lot of friends-who-are-girls, so you would assume that I score every other night.


Um? There's nothing about being a girl that means someone has to have sex with every friend, and nothing about being someone who's attracted to girls that says the someone has to have sex with every friend who happens to be a girl, so no, you wouldn't assume that!

(and nothing about male-bodied people says they have to have sex with every female-bodied friend or vice versa, which is more likely what you meant)


----------



## goldenquagsire

> Um? There's nothing about being a girl that means someone has to have sex with every friend, and nothing about being someone who's attracted to girls that says the someone has to have sex with every friend who happens to be a girl, so no, you wouldn't assume that!
> 
> (and nothing about male-bodied people says they have to have sex with every female-bodied friend or vice versa, which is more likely what you meant)


Cultural assumptions, bro. Guys with lots of female friends are often seen as players. If nothing else, it's usually a sign that you're at least capable of socialising with women without scaring them off. Perhaps Chibispore didn't explain the point brilliantly, but let's give them the benefit of the doubt!

That said, men with lots of women friends are also often stereotyped as gay, so tbh you can't infer much from it. :P


----------



## Minish

goldenquagsire said:


> Cultural assumptions, bro. Guys with lots of female friends are often seen as players. If nothing else, it's usually a sign that you're at least capable of socialising with women without scaring them off. Perhaps Chibispore didn't explain the point brilliantly, but let's give them the benefit of the doubt!
> 
> That said, men with lots of women friends are also often stereotyped as gay, so tbh you can't infer much from it. :P


The point is that saying something like that is gross and weird! Just because it makes sense for some people to believe stereotypes doesn't mean it's a good thing to do yourself or reinforce...


----------



## Momo(th)

goldenquagsire said:


> Cultural assumptions, bro. Guys with lots of female friends are often seen as players. If nothing else, it's usually a sign that you're at least capable of socialising with women without scaring them off. Perhaps Chibispore didn't explain the point brilliantly, but let's give them the benefit of the doubt!
> 
> That said, men with lots of women friends are also often stereotyped as gay, so tbh you can't infer much from it. :P


That's exactly what I meant. People ask me, "Are you going out with any of them?" and when I say no, they look at me with disbelief, as if though there is no way a man an a woman can just be friends without any romance.


----------



## nothing to see here

Yeah... that's a common (and _incredibly stupid_) misconception, unfortunately.  I've seriously seen people claim that a guy and a girl can *never* just be friends, and that somehow there will _always_ be some sort of feelings involved beyond that... even though, if they actually looked, I'm sure they could find guys and girls who are friends without any other feelings between them.  And they'd pretty much have to completely ignore the possibility of gay guys being friends with girls, or lesbians being friends with guys, or asexual people being friends with... anyone... for that idea to make any sense at all.

Just this past year I've had a couple of people assume that I had a girlfriend just because they saw me talking to the same girl at lunch a bunch of times.  Most of my friends (and pretty much all of my closer friends) are girls... so me talking to a girl shouldn't be that unusual at all.  But for some reason some people assume "guy + girl = dating or something" even if they didn't actually see anything besides two people talking.


----------



## Jolty

FnrrfYgmSchnish said:


> I've seriously seen people claim that a guy and a girl can *never* just be friends, and that somehow there will _always_ be some sort of feelings involved beyond that...
> 
> But for some reason some people assume "guy + girl = dating or something" even if they didn't actually see anything besides two people talking.


my god this was the bane of my life for _so long_
through basically the entire 14 years i spent at school
people would still say this crap even when they knew i had girlfriends

so annoyiiiiing


----------



## Autumn

had an incident once where me and a guy friend were messing around (guy friend being bisexual tending more toward gay, me being bisexual tending more toward lesbian) and the guy's ex-girlfriend went up to my best friend and said "aaaaw, look at that. she totally likes him." my best friend said "no, no she doesn't." "look at that. she's chasing him around trying to kiss him on the head." (this was a response to him kissing me on the head several times over the past month. that's just the kind of thing he would do.) "no. i know who she likes." "who?" *best friend points at self*

_sigh_

oh and nowadays. i have a boyfriend who's slightly feminine and for the most part prefers the company of girls to guys. so he has a lot of girl friends and he messes around with them on a regular basis. but i know him well enough to know he means nothing by it and he doesn't like any of his other female friends like that. doesn't stop people from suggesting that he does and then him having to explain "no, i'm loyal to poly. just cause i talk to other girls _does not mean i like them._"

kinda obnoxious ><


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## Butterfree

A whole bunch of Shadey's friends are girls. When we met (aside from that time we were eleven and in the same math-for-gifted-children thing) he was the only guy at the table of girls that I ended up with, and since then he's befriended new girls on a regular basis. It's just how he rolls.

I think he's too much of a general teddy bear for anyone to honestly not see that it's platonic, but that could just be me and my complete lack of a jealousy gene.


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## Tarvos

I can be friends with girls, but try being friends with someone you damn well want to have sex with. It's pretty hard.


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## ArtemisX

Butterfree said:
			
		

> but that could just be me and my complete lack of a jealousy gene.


I lack that gene as well. Which is fortunate because my fiancè lives halfway around the world. Unfortunately, he's also the super-jealous-insecure-I-hate-that-one-guy-you-slept-with-just-because-you-slept-with-him-before-we-started-dating type. Polar opposites.


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## Autumn

Butterfree said:


> but that could just be me and my complete lack of a jealousy gene.





ArtemisX said:


> I lack that gene as well.


Same. xP


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## Autumn

Vladimir Putin's LJ said:


> I... never said they're not allowed to feel differently? What? I'm sorry if anyone got offended (though I also don't get why anyone would be offended by that post) but I literally do not understand forcing other people to wait for sex just because you set an arbitrary date. Of course, no one should pressure anyone into having a sexual relationship, but what I mean is: both parties are willing but the only reason they're not doing it is because marriage. Why?
> 
> It seems to me that people are creating their own problems by hyping up marriage as some sort of holy grail :v


yeah double posting but it's been a while and i've been wanting to respond to this for a while now

My (former) best friend wants to wait until marriage. She's not religious in the slightest - she's a hardcore atheist. I've asked before about her reasons for not wanting to have sex beforehand - she doesn't want to risk pregnancy or STD's, she says, which I think is a pretty dumb reason because it's not like the risk of pregnancy/STD's (does that imply she thinks her current boyfriend _has_ STD's...?) magically goes away once you get married! I guess getting pregnant after marriage may not be as big a concern since you've made a commitment to the person so it's less likely they'll walk out on you??? I don't know her reason seems incredibly arbitrary and dumb.

And I can understand waiting until marriage/wanting to be a virgin forever when you're not already in a relationship. I told myself I'd never have sex with anyone - then my boyfriend asked me out. Seven months later and we're horny as _fuck._ That want to wait til marriage/remain a virgin forever can easily go away when you're in a relationship with someone you love and trust!

Thing is, though - said ex-best-friend is _in_ a relationship. Four days ago was her year-anniversary with the kid. Yes, both of them are younger than me and my boyfriend - I turned seventeen in November, boyfriend turned sixteen in November, ex-best-friend turned sixteen in February, and her boyfriend turns sixteen this July - but not by enough that they'd necessarily still be in the whole "OH GOD SEX NO" stage that most freshmen/sophomores in high school are in.

But then, my boyfriend is a sophomore! A close friend of mine who had sex with his girlfriend last year is also a sophomore! That girl's current boyfriend is a sophomore! Not to mention that the sophomore I just mentioned (the close friend) participated in oral homosexual sex with another kid just a few days after they both finished their freshman year. And I'm not sure - being that he's completely fine with his gayness (yes he had sex with a girl, he's since realized that he is in fact gay) he may have gone farther but I don't know, I haven't asked in great detail about his sex life.

But I digress. What I'm trying to say is that the people in my circle don't treat teen sex like some horrible thing that has to wait until marriage or not be had at all or whatnot - hell my best friend actually hugged me when I told her I'd lost my virginity.

(Speaking of which, another close friend of mine lost it to guys she wasn't even dating her freshman year - she was fourteen! Don't get the wrong idea though it wasn't rape.)

But basically nobody in my circle frowns upon it. And yet, the ex-best-friend that is so insistent on waiting until marriage - she's been dating her boyfriend for a year. I'd been dating my boyfriend for a week shy of three months when we did it the first time, and the gay-guy-who-had-a-girlfriend - they did it after about three months as well.

And it's not even like ex-best-friend is all like "EW DON'T TOUCH ME" either - she's let her boyfriend just sort of rub his penis on her vagina without actually penetrating and we've had deep conversations about oral sex and such as well. She acts a bit like a slut outside of that, not getting nervous when guys get as far as blatantly grabbing her boobs during the nervous game, she didn't flinch in the slightest when I jokingly leaned in to kiss her (I once had a crush on her, haha) like three times, I mean she just does not _care._ what happens to her. And yet she's been dating her boyfriend for a year. Neither of them are incredibly religious. And she still wants to wait it out.

My boyfriend and I have noticed that the two of them subtly seem to be getting fed up with one another. Seeing as how we, and most everyone we know, desperately wants them to break up because they're both stupid bitches when they're in a relationship (why do you think I'm calling her my ex-best-friend? We're on good terms now but she's a hypocritical selfish brat really), we've often psychoanalyzed the two of them, and come to the conclusion that her boyfriend is sexually frustrated over not getting any from the girl that lets him touch her everywhere else and is quite possibly the only person in this universe who doesn't hate his guts (he's a narcissist, egotistical, pathological liar who doesn't understand that other people actually want him to shut the fuck up when they say shut the fuck up and prefers to keep bothering people rather than stop when they start ignoring him, and he's definitely got Asperger's to boot - I have Asperger's and I'm not saying it's a bad thing but knowing my own shortcomings I _know_ that most of the time he is bothering people on purpose rather than just not knowing any better). We think she may have picked up on this (even subconsciously) and is getting annoyed right back at him for wanting it at all. Never mind the fact that he's a horny teenage boy who has a girlfriend that lets him touch her but won't let him penetrate but lets him get real damn close, never mind the fact that the most self-control in the world can even fall victim to raging hormones. He's not Catholic so he doesn't have the religious reason for wanting to wait, and if his brother (the gay-guy-with-a-girlfriend)'s actions are any indication he doesn't have the same viewpoint as his girlfriend, so it's understandable that he would get annoyed! They've been dating a year - which for a freshman/sophomore couple is a long time - and yet.

Yeah idk maybe people don't agree with what I'm saying but whatever, thought I'd throw it out there


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## ShinyUmbreonX3

I'm a guy, I'm a virgin, and well, that probably won't change for a _long_ time. I'm currently at the point in my life where many people would say, "You're a fine young man surrounded by VERY fine young women, GO GET EM." When I tell people I'm not interested in ANYONE, they're like "WTF?" I won't go any further, though.


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## Flora

Five months later

still a virgin

though I did get kissed again does that count for anything


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## Professor Wesker

Yup, and I probably will always will be one. I don't care, anime and video game characters are so much better than "real" women.


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## Murkrow

ShinyUmbreonX3 said:


> When I tell people I'm not interested in ANYONE, they're like "WTF?" .


Yeah, I find generally people seem to assume "I'm not interested in anyone" means "I'm sour about being a virgin but won't admit it." Which is really sad, since they seem to think 'virgin' can cause 'not interested' but it can never ever be the other way around obvs.


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## ultraviolet

Mr. Kincaid said:


> I don't care, anime and video game characters are so much better than "real" women.








wait, what?


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## Music Dragon

These so-called "real" women - how do we know they're actually real, huh?


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## Tarvos

I'm glad you made that post so I didn't have to.

As to the person who said "why do people assume I'm sour just because I am not getting any", my comment to that is the following. It's not about sexual needs or desires since these differ from person to person (generally asexual people exist. I have no idea as to how common they are, though, but I doubt it's an overwhelming part of the population).

But the thing is romantic relationships aren't necessarily about sex, nor do you have to be in a relationship to have one. But the problem is that we (or should I say I do) see it as being slightly naive. It's kind of a thing that you're like "I don't know what I'm missing out on!" And while sex can be overrated, the fact is, sex is just really really fun if you're doing it with the right partner! Because we're all having so much fun while having it, it means that the ones who aren't having it are seen as missing out!

It's perfectly okay to be asexual, but you have to be very well aware that that's a very small part of the population and for the huge majority of people, there exists sexual and romantic attraction. Nobody should judge you if you have no libido, but most young people (especially people that are insecure about their relationships with other people, and people that wonder if they can be loved for who they are, introverted people, people who mature late sexually) are also just scared of attachment. This is perfectly normal and it's okay to wait until you're ready, because it's still your body and nobody can force you to do anything you don't want.

I didn't lose my virginity as a teenager. I was, what, 20, when I lost it???? I didn't have a long-term girlfriend until I was 19 or 20 and I didn't lose my virginity until I was that age either and I'm just fine sexually. Some people take a while to be secure enough that they can handle a relationship like grown-up people or simply view relationships as being a hassle (and they can be at times!) 

What's really the most important during sex is that it's a FUN activity that you derive joy from for whatever reason (you like the physicality, being close to someone you love, etc). I also enjoy sexual activity just because it gives me a chance to make someone I love happy!


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## Autumn

Mr. Kincaid said:


> Yup, and I probably will always will be one. I don't care, anime and video game characters are so much better than "real" women.


I swear to God if you make another post like that stereotyping an _entire gender_ shit's gonna go _down_

seriously where do you get off thinking you can say something as horribly sexist as that


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## Jolty

Mr. Kincaid said:


> Yup, and I probably will always will be one. I don't care, anime and video game characters are so much better than "real" women.


what makes you say that?


also tarvos' (almost called you altmer there haha) post is a good post yes.

I kinda really want to lose my virginity like now, since I am frustrated a LOT of the time and I guess actually having sex is a better way to deal with it than doing it yourself
but
I honestly don't even know if I'd be able to do anything with anyone at the moment because my body is all wrong and I am still waiting to be allowed to "fix" it a bit. And the wait for that will be entirely worth it.


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## goldenquagsire

no longer a virgin! but I'm rather surprised to find that what people said about it not meaning that much is true. sure, the first time was fun but I don't really feel any different now than I did before. :/

I guess there's the small self-confidence boost of "oh well so I'm not so ugly/socially inept that I can't get laid" but...
on the other hand, it *is* kind of funny that now that I have had a steady gf for a couple of months, friends who I previously thought were way better with women than I was have actually come to me asking for relationship advice (apparently more of my friends are virgins than I thought...)



Mr. Kincaid said:


> Yup, and I probably will always will be one. I don't care, anime and video game characters are so much better than "real" women.


dear lord, I didn't think people like this existed outside of 4chan...

for the sake of argument, care to explain why your waifus are better than real women?


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## Butterfree

Mr. Kincaid said:


> Yup, and I probably will always will be one. I don't care, anime and video game characters are so much better than "real" women.


You sound like you're scoffing at the very idea that there's any meaningful sense in which real women are more real than anime and video game characters. In which case you really need to get a bit of a reality check. Real women are the ones who are actually people with independent minds who you can actually socially (and physically) interact with. I mean, if you prefer your women not having independent minds, I'm glad you're not inflicting yourself on any actual women, but there is a very meaningful distinction there.


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## Shiny Grimer

Polymetric Sesquialtera said:


> My boyfriend and I have noticed that the two of them subtly seem to be getting fed up with one another. Seeing as how we, and most everyone we know, desperately wants them to break up because they're both stupid bitches when they're in a relationship (why do you think I'm calling her my ex-best-friend? We're on good terms now but she's a hypocritical selfish brat really), we've often psychoanalyzed the two of them, and come to the conclusion that her boyfriend is sexually frustrated over not getting any from the girl that lets him touch her everywhere else and is quite possibly the only person in this universe who doesn't hate his guts (he's a narcissist, egotistical, pathological liar who doesn't understand that other people actually want him to shut the fuck up when they say shut the fuck up and prefers to keep bothering people rather than stop when they start ignoring him, and he's definitely got Asperger's to boot - I have Asperger's and I'm not saying it's a bad thing but knowing my own shortcomings I _know_ that most of the time he is bothering people on purpose rather than just not knowing any better). We think she may have picked up on this (even subconsciously) and is getting annoyed right back at him for wanting it at all. Never mind the fact that he's a horny teenage boy who has a girlfriend that lets him touch her but won't let him penetrate but lets him get real damn close, never mind the fact that the most self-control in the world can even fall victim to raging hormones. He's not Catholic so he doesn't have the religious reason for wanting to wait, and if his brother (the gay-guy-with-a-girlfriend)'s actions are any indication he doesn't have the same viewpoint as his girlfriend, so it's understandable that he would get annoyed! They've been dating a year - which for a freshman/sophomore couple is a long time - and yet.


This would be a perfect description of my ex-boyfriend were the years not off.

Anyway, I don't want to have sex until I get into a committed relationship. Why? Because yeah, I'm one of those people that does get more attached when things start getting physical. I'm also just terribly afraid of intimacy and being intimate with someone (I was embarrassed at holding hands with my ex, and this was back when I practically worshipped him). As such, it is simply not possible for me to willingly have sex with someone at an early stage in the relationship.

Also in marriage you know your partner better and you'd know whether they have STDs or not so you can take precautions, as opposed to having one night stands with random people. Not that there isn't an inbetween, but just trying to explain what your friend's logic might be like.

Still a virgin (and will probably be one for a while), but I admit I'm kind of sexually frustrated since I lost my official cuddlebuddy.

And yeah, to the guy who says anime is better than "real" women, I really appreciate being told that Japanese animation is superior to me. Thanks, really.


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## Cerberus87

Mr. Kincaid said:


> Yup, and I probably will always will be one. I don't care, anime and video game characters are so much better than "real" women.


Oh well, hentai is fun. For a while.

A bit off-topic here, but I don't like explicit sex in art works very much, unless it's a plot point.


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## Jason-Kun

Polymetric Sesquialtera said:


> I swear to God if you make another post like that stereotyping an _entire gender_ shit's gonna go _down_
> 
> seriously where do you get off thinking you can say something as horribly sexist as that


I don't see how that is sexist. Real people in general are flawed and don't look perfect most of the time while fictional ones due tend to look perfect. 

So I can see why someone would prefer attractive 2D girls to 3D ones. Mind you for me 3D girls while not as good as attractive 2D ones they are still worth being with.

Still a virgin though I wouldn't mind being friends with benefits to someone I have known for years or having sex with someone I have dated for years.


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## Autumn

Jason-Kun said:


> I don't see how that is sexist. Real people in general are flawed and don't look perfect most of the time while fictional ones due tend to look perfect.


it's implying that no existing woman is good enough for him and blanket generalizing all women as being worse than nonexistent women. it's tinted with a tone of superiority toward existing women and pretty much saying "i'm better than all women cause every last one of them is not good enough for me"


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## Jason-Kun

Polymetric Sesquialtera said:


> it's implying that no existing woman is good enough for him and blanket generalizing all women as being worse than nonexistent women. it's tinted with a tone of superiority toward existing women and pretty much saying "i'm better than all women cause every last one of them is not good enough for me"


I don't see how. I could get it if he had said that real women were worthless and not worth his time but all he said was that he liked fictional ones better. Nothing wrong with that provided he admits that real women are still worth being with. 

Personally the way I see it is that fictional ones a better looking but real ones are better in terms of actual personality so in my book they are about equal. But that is just me.


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## Autumn

Jason-Kun said:


> Nothing wrong with that provided he admits that real women are still worth being with.


except he didn't even imply that o.o



> Personally the way I see it is that fictional ones a better looking but real ones are better in terms of actual personality so in my book they are about equal. But that is just me.


wut


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## Music Dragon

I've never actually done it with a 2D girl, to be honest. It's a bit embarrassing, but yeah.


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## Jason-Kun

Polymetric Sesquialtera said:


> except he didn't even imply that o.o


He didn't imply otherwise either though. Understandable why you'd be upset.



> wut


2D girls/guys are designed to look perfect while real ones aren't. So they win over in the looks department. Real girls/guys are more realistic than 2D ones so they win in terms of personality. So that balances things out making neither completely superior to the other. Or at least that is how I see it.


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## Tarvos

Whatever floats your boat, lads. This thread is fast becoming the thing where you're asking relationship advice from people who have never been in relationships.


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## Jolty

agreeing that 2d people can be pretty damn amazing (i am married to four)

laughing at the debate over 2d or 3d people being better


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## Butterfree

I don't think it's absurd to aesthetically prefer animated characters over real people - their appearance tends to be consciously designed to be appealing and can act as a superstimulus (something that triggers the brain's rules of thumb for attractiveness more than a real person could). And fictional characters can also have idealized, extra-appealing personalities that, perhaps, few real people would seem to match up to - plus that as a consumer of a work of fiction, you grow to understand a character's personality to a far greater degree than you understand the personalities of most people around you that you don't know very well, making them more sympathetic than any random person you might want to start dating.

Saying this means they're so much better than real women, though, does sound pretty scornful towards real women. Compare, say, "Cornflakes are so much better than cheerios" - you wouldn't word it that way if you thought cheerios were awesome but cornflakes were just even better. Moreover, since "better" is such a blanket term for positive qualities, and with the added quotes around "real", he seemed to be dismissing the idea that being real was in any way a point in favor of real women, implying that as far as he's concerned being real people with an independent mind just makes women more of a nuisance.

I'm not sure if I'd call that sexist per se because as far as we know he might think the same about men vs. fictional men if he happened to be attracted to men, but it does sound pretty misogynistic.


----------



## Autumn

Jason-Kun said:


> 2D girls/guys are designed to look perfect while real ones aren't. So they win over in the looks department. Real girls/guys are more realistic than 2D ones so they win in terms of personality. So that balances things out making neither completely superior to the other. Or at least that is how I see it.


the aesthetically pleasing part isn't the part that bothers me; i agree wholeheartedly. it's the fact that you think that fact makes them equal to real women. you can't interact in any possible way with an anime character but you can do so with real women which is why i'm confused


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## Jason-Kun

Polymetric Sesquialtera said:


> the aesthetically pleasing part isn't the part that bothers me; i agree wholeheartedly. it's the fact that you think that fact makes them equal to real women. you can't interact in any possible way with an anime character but you can do so with real women which is why i'm confused


Fair enough. Though I was mostly talking about individual traits outside of interaction.


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## Cerberus87

Polymetric Sesquialtera said:


> the aesthetically pleasing part isn't the part that bothers me; i agree wholeheartedly. it's the fact that you think that fact makes them equal to real women. you can't interact in any possible way with an anime character but you can do so with real women which is why i'm confused


Maybe all his interactions have been bad so far?

I think what he said was a little stupid but we should not be intolerant so as to ignore his background! Maybe a girl or a woman did something to him that hurt him for life. Although I suspect it's just him being childish.

I've been infatuated with anime characters before. IMO it's worse than unrequited love. You can even write a fanfic and include yourself as a character and date the character you love, but it'll never be the same as real love with real people. In the end, you'll hurt yourself much harder.


----------



## surskitty

Cerberus said:


> I think what he said was a little stupid but we should not be intolerant so as to ignore his background! Maybe a girl or a woman did something to him that hurt him for life.


Yes, that absolutely explains and justifies everything.  Because every woman is exactly the same and having been wronged by one person of a group means it's the entire group's fault!


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## Cerberus87

Viki said:


> Yes, that absolutely explains and justifies everything.  Because every woman is exactly the same and having been wronged by one person of a group means it's the entire group's fault!


It explains but not justifies.


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## Tailsy

my eyes are bleeding just reading this thread


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## Zero Moment

Twilight Sparkle said:


> my eyes are bleeding just reading this thread


ikr
I thought this was a place to discuss the state of their virginities or something

(Mine is intact, unfortunately. Ugh, I hate teenage hormones)


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## Superbird




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## Minish

Tarvos said:


> As to the person who said "why do people assume I'm sour just because I am not getting any", my comment to that is the following ...


?? Why are you saying these things. Why do people who don't want to have sex need to be reminded that it's ~perfectly normal~ to be scared of attachment ...

Unfortunately a lot of the shit ace people and other people who might not want to have sex have to put up with is just this kind of concern trolling! :/


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## Jolty

Cirrus said:


> ?? Why are you saying these things. Why do people who don't want to have sex need to be reminded that it's ~perfectly normal~ to be scared of attachment ...
> 
> Unfortunately a lot of the shit ace people and other people who might not want to have sex have to put up with is just this kind of concern trolling! :/


maybe
right
because

the post
was directed
at people who _do_ want to have sex ?????????????

which i don't doubt is the majority of people posting in here


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## Tarvos

Cirrus said:


> ?? Why are you saying these things. Why do people who don't want to have sex need to be reminded that it's ~perfectly normal~ to be scared of attachment ...
> 
> Unfortunately a lot of the shit ace people and other people who might not want to have sex have to put up with is just this kind of concern trolling! :/


yes absolutely i'm doing it because i want the whole world to have unsolicited attachmentless sex!!!!!

Seriously?

Why are you saying these things?

Unfortunately a lot of the shit ace people and other people who might want to have sex but are scared of attachment is just this kind of concern trolling!

Most people want to have sex, they're just scared. That's fairly normal and happens to a lot of people. If you're asexual then the post doesn't apply to you, and if you'd managed to take a good glance at what I wrote, you'd probably have figured that out.

Sometimes, Cirrus, I really don't understand your sensitivity.


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## Cerberus87

Tarvos said:


> yes absolutely i'm doing it because i want the whole world to have unsolicited attachmentless sex!!!!!
> 
> Seriously?
> 
> Why are you saying these things?
> 
> Unfortunately a lot of the shit ace people and other people who might want to have sex but are scared of attachment is just this kind of concern trolling!
> 
> Most people want to have sex, they're just scared. That's fairly normal and happens to a lot of people. If you're asexual then the post doesn't apply to you, and if you'd managed to take a good glance at what I wrote, you'd probably have figured that out.
> 
> Sometimes, Cirrus, I really don't understand your sensitivity.


Tarvos I read your post on page 11 and I have to say it was one of the more sensible opinions here in this thread. You hit the nail on the head, really.


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## PK

the only thing i will say is

real women are pretty much the best

but anyways, lost my virginity in august. Condoms are the _worst thing ever_ but other than that sex is the single greatest thing ever.


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## Minish

Tarvos said:


> As to the person who said "why do people assume I'm sour just because I am not getting any", my comment to that is the following.


Er? I guess I just generally assume someone isn't having sex because they don't want to, rather than because they're "just scared"! I guess, yeah, I'll admit your post seems concern-trolly to more than just ace people! Whoo?

Also you can be saying gross silly things without necessarily being explicit? I mean, presumably you accept that, say, lack of representation in media is no less bad for minorities than someone crowing hate speech in a public space?

I feel like it's fairly basic to accept that there's a middle ground between not being problematic about things and wanting the whole world to have unsolicited attachmentless sex...


----------

