# That One Fancomic Not About Yaoi



## Daigonite (Oct 18, 2011)

Holy #@$%. A fancomic not about Yaoi.

Wait wait wait. Take a breather for a second. Let me tell you what it is about...

It's a TF2 fanfi-

HOLY $@#$ A TF2 FANFIC NOT ABOUT YAOI?!?! IMPOSSIBLE!

...IMPROBABLE!...

...HIGHLY UNLIKELY!...







Well hell.

Anyways this comic is titled *takes breath* *CHRONICLES OF THE MAN OF STEEL* but for convenience's sake I'll just call it Man of Steel for a bit. Irate over the fact that my normal comics recieved a absolutely wonderful >50 views per page, I promptly tried another tactic -- using a character people were familiar with! You see it's a memoir of the BLU Enginee--

GET ON WITH IT

Pages:

page 001
page 002
page 003
page 004
page 005

I know. Not a lot done. DEAL WITH IT (actually its because pages take about 5 hours to complete)

Also, useful comments like "The style is intruiging, but I believe that [whatever] could be improved" it much appreciated. Inflated garbage like "OMG SO KAWAII UR THE BESTEST!!" is not. Keep that in mind please.

THESE PAGES ARE SCANNED SO SOME FOCUS/ANGLE ISSUES MAY OCCUR. PLEASE DISREGARD THESE.


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## Blastoise Fortooate (Oct 18, 2011)

+deviantwatch'd


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## Furiianda (Oct 19, 2011)

Hmm, a surveyor is certainly not what I expected from the BLU engineer's father, I guess that I assumed his father would be like the both of... er... him and his grandfather, passing on the engineering profession and tools/munitions store from one generation to the next. So it'll be interesting seeing how your comic fits into the existing TF2 cannon. (: (or should I say LOOSE CANON ahahahaha okay I'll stop)

And, well, not trying to discriminate or anything but Dell's hair looks like something straight out of an anime, and it bugs me! I think you conveyed the messy bowl-cut look or whatever in a much more appropriate fashion on the first page, were you maybe economising on shading for the second page?
(and sorry if you're intentionally drawing into a manga kind of style, I'm just used to a lot of people drawing like that without really intending to... ehehe)

Another funny thing that strikes me -- the opening panel has a beautifully rendered bird, and yet your humans look... funny in comparison. The eyes are really large and the expressions are more cartoony than realistically detailed (opposing the bird). A quick glance at your DA gallery suggests you really like birds and might not quite have the knack for humans in comparison just yet. Correct me if I'm wrong! But either way, I hope this comic helps you in the "drawing humans" department. (:


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## Daigonite (Oct 21, 2011)

Thanks thanks thanks, really appreciate that.

I picked a surveyor because it mentions in his bio that he worked with searching for oil (or something) for 10 years, and me, being a dumb Michigander as opposed to an enlightened Texan, instantly associated Engie more with auto mechanics and design because of this T-Shirt line. Basically, gramps was obsessive with his work so much that it almost destroyed him, he became a total drunk, and dad didn't want to do that - he noticed that gramps was still a pretty poor man so he thought that striking it rich would be a better alternative. Gramps though thinks he's wasting his time. They get into a lot of fights because of this, and Dell avoids the situation altogether oftentimes by leaving the house while they're fighting, and visits his friend Thomas. I get into this a wee bit later.

Sticking with the general canon though is something I'm trying to do as much as possible, even making references to _Loose Canon_, along with real life references (prohibition, great depression and WWII are all at some point important) and keeping it balanced out. It's really difficult though because just when I lined everything out I found out the actual game itself takes place in 1969 even though I kept hearing it takes place in the 50's, which really sent me off kilter. Bah. I fixed it though, but damn that was a pain in the ass. At least we're talking Engie here and not, say, Scout.

Something DID annoy me with page 002, thanks for pointing that out. I think its that in page 001 his hair is a little more put down. I can add a bit more hair to help with that, as well as WHITE ACRYLIC AWAY to redraw the top of his hair to reduce its volume. The style shifts back to the 001 style and I think it was because I was kind of haskjdhsadkjbfskd to get it done (work and school started to fall down hard and I don't want to abandon this project in hard times). Thank goodness I know how to fix this stuff though. The reason why I made his hair all poofy is because he really doesn't put it down at all, and he's depicted somewhat like that in canonical references too, but I definitely need to tone it down a bit in 002. I'm really trying to separate myself from that anime-esque crap though so thanks. :o

Yeah. I noticed that too. Medic bugs the JESUS HELL out of me on the cover because I hate drawing him in general, along with the kid under young Engineer (he's actually required to be drawn without being able to see his whole face though, so he's a tricky bastard). I might go over his whole face with white acrylic and start over; I've already done that once in the comic already. Although I kinda wanted a cartoony look to the people to be honest. so maybe i need to redo the birds lol :x the funny thing here is that I'm NOT trying to draw realistic so the birds are actually the wrong thing, not the people O.o

HOLY SHIT ACTUAL CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM WHAT.

Also page 003 should be up within 2 days, I'm going to review it and make sure I didn't go buttcrazy with the hair again. lol. I'll fix 002 as well and most likely update it IF I FEEL LIKE SCANNING IT A GAZILLION TIMES RAGE. The pages are just a bit too large to be scanned normally so I need to scan them 4 TIMES. Lol


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## Furiianda (Oct 21, 2011)

Interesting backstory! I've seen some TF2 comics that just... don't follow the canon whatsoever and leaves you wondering why they even made a fancomic in the first place if they wanted to do that. So, guess I was afraid of that. ((: (Oh wait, I know why, it's for the yaoi)

I'm glad you appreciated the criticism. (: I haven't got much more to say, at least until you're done with the next page, but ehr, a couple of things about the general style (it's hard to pin "cartoony", so if you're going for a particular style/proportion of something then I don't really know about it)...
The eyes seem abnormally large, it's emphasised by the hard edge you draw around them (as opposed to styles where the eyelids are not really emphasised at all). Maybe drawing more realistic eye shapes, smaller and less circular, would give a more desirable look. And perhaps thinning the faces horizontally, in general, would make the characters more recognisable!

Also, here, have a totally helpful GIF. (Yeah it is totally good Medic reference hurp)


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## Daigonite (Oct 21, 2011)

Yeah. I have a tendency to draw long faces, a bad habit of mine for sure. I probably won't be changing the eyes though just because I want to separate myself enough from the canonical way of drawing them. I'm trying to give each character a unique way of holding their eyes though so that they don't look like copy pasta. Like, Heavy will have tiny eyes, while Scout will have large, energetic eyes like Dell has in his childhood.

Page 003 should be up by tonight, by the way. I still need to do a bit of cleanup on it. Also, Radigan appears for the first time in the comic on this page.

((On a note of following canon, Radigan really annoys me in _Loose Canon_ because he looks like he's in his late 60's in the 1880's; so that would mean by 1930, a good age for Engineer to be 16, he would have to be almost 120! Which means that Engie's dad would probably be about 70 HIMSELF.

Or, we could go with the other approach that Radigan really is in his late 60's at that time, and assume that Radigan had his son when he was 55 (which in of itself is ridiculously old, but I've met people that have had children at that age). This would mean that his son would have been about 10 at this time, which means that Engie's father would have been about 60 in 1930. However, its EXTREMELY rare for people to have children that old, so lets go with a more reasonable age of 35, which means the father would be 80 YEARS OLD in 1930. Again, going with the idea that his father is 35 when he has his son, Dell would be about 85 years old at the time of TF2 taking place. Since the current starting place of this comic is 1928... yeah.

wtf. No amount of Australium will be able to fix that. So I made him... a bit younger. Like. 30 years younger. sdfnadskjgbfadsb))


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## Daigonite (Dec 6, 2011)

Updated. Pages 003-005

Is being slowly updated because of school...


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## see ya (Dec 6, 2011)

...Hoo boy. You've opened yourself up to concrit, and now you're gonna get it. 

First of all... By "yaoi comic" we all know you're referring to Cuanta Vida. There really aren't many TF2 fancomics at all, so it's pretty obvious. And regardless of whether you like the comic or not, one thing that can be agreed on is that the artist/writer behind that comic is a sweet and humble person whose art improved over time. let's see if you can at least follow her example there, even if you seem to pride your comic on being "OMGGGG NOT YAOIZ" 

Also, just so you know, you're hardly the first to make a non-slash TF2 fancomic. Just sayin'.

So anyway, let's begin. 

Your first page seems to have a lovely drawing of a bird. Seriously, it's gorgeous. Most of your background drawings are nice too. Which makes the shift to your humans all the more jarring. Seriously, the faces look wrong. I know you've stated that you're going to a stylized, non-realistic look with this comic, but that's no excuse. Even the most cartoony styles rely on a basic knowledge of anatomy to be pleasing to the eye. Just dismissing all that by saying "it's my style" is plain laziness. Not to mention that your "style" is loose to the point that each character looks radically different in each panel. Some variation is to be expected, but we're talking about ears being half the size they were before from panel to panel.  In page two alone, Dell's father's nose changes shape about five times. 


And for a "stylized" comic you really seem to be trying to meet it halfway. Some details are gritty and super-realistic, while others are cartoony, sometimes on the SAME FACE. This just comes off as unsettling. Pick one style or the other, because what you have now seriously doesn't mesh.

Your aesthetic is interesting here, but is a mite too dark, in that it makes a lot of details harder to see for the viewer, and makes things muddled and confusing. You're probably making things harder for yourself, too. It's a nice start, but it could stand to be tightened up. 

Your story is... okay, I guess. A little generic, but whatever. I don't see the supposed superiority to the "OMG YAOOOIIIZZZ" comic yet, but hey, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here, as the comic's just begun. 

So, my advice: Move away from acrylics for a while and practice drawing faces with good ol' pencil and paper. Study human anatomy, particularly facial anatomy. Practice different perspectives.When you do move back to acrylics, try to not make everything so freaking dark. Get some humility and take concrit to heart, not take things halfway by saying "well thanks for the advice BUUUUUUT you see it's my style so I'm not gonna change it."

Also: Engie already has a canon dad. It's the Engineer from Team Fortress Classic.  If you were already aware of this fact, do some research and try to find an interesting way to tie it in. If this is the case, Engiedad is certainly not gonna be all "RAAARGH NO EDUCATION FOR MY SON EVER."

Adieu~


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## Daigonite (Dec 7, 2011)

Sunflower said:


> ...Hoo boy. You've opened yourself up to concrit, and now you're gonna get it.
> 
> First of all... By "yaoi comic" we all know you're referring to Cuanta Vida. There really aren't many TF2 fancomics at all, so it's pretty obvious. And regardless of whether you like the comic or not, one thing that can be agreed on is that the artist/writer behind that comic is a sweet and humble person whose art improved over time. let's see if you can at least follow her example there, even if you seem to pride your comic on being "OMGGGG NOT YAOIZ"
> 
> Also, just so you know, you're hardly the first to make a non-slash TF2 fancomic. Just sayin'.


Woah, holy %#@$ on a cracker, man, I was kidding. I wasn't referencing TF2 there; I just see a lot of fancomics that are yaoi/yuri/romance/ect. I don't expect my comic to be necessarily better or superiour, but we'll see...




> So anyway, let's begin.
> 
> Your first page seems to have a lovely drawing of a bird. Seriously, it's gorgeous. Most of your background drawings are nice too. Which makes the shift to your humans all the more jarring. Seriously, the faces look wrong. I know you've stated that you're going to a stylized, non-realistic look with this comic, but that's no excuse. Even the most cartoony styles rely on a basic knowledge of anatomy to be pleasing to the eye. Just dismissing all that by saying "it's my style" is plain laziness. Not to mention that your "style" is loose to the point that each character looks radically different in each panel. Some variation is to be expected, but we're talking about ears being half the size they were before from panel to panel.  In page two alone, Dell's father's nose changes shape about five times.
> 
> And for a "stylized" comic you really seem to be trying to meet it halfway. Some details are gritty and super-realistic, while others are cartoony, sometimes on the SAME FACE. This just comes off as unsettling. Pick one style or the other, because what you have now seriously doesn't mesh.


Thanks for the input.

What I mean by "its my style" is not necessarily the "proportions" changing. Hell, I appreciate it when people tell me that and it causes me to revisit my other pages.

I think a big problem here is that I'm using a very cartoony eye style, which I do consider a part of the style. It however does conflicts with the rest of the face, which since others have noted as well, I will be discontinuing, or rather, minimizing as much as I can.

What I meant was that 1) I was focusing less on the drawings (which, granted, is foolish) but rather the pacing, which it is too early in the comic to determine, and 2) that I wish not to be criticized for the dark shadings, tones and bolder lines of the comic.



> Your aesthetic is interesting here, but is a mite too dark, in that it makes a lot of details harder to see for the viewer, and makes things muddled and confusing. You're probably making things harder for yourself, too. It's a nice start, but it could stand to be tightened up.


I doubt that I will change the lighting too much because the comic is very dark in actual nature. It's heavily inspired by The Crow and will take some very dark turns, unlike most TF2 fanmedia (and TF2 media in general).

The scanner also downgrades the quality quite a bit, in addition I am forced to use higher contrasts than the original image to make them appear far less blurry; at this point I just want to get the initial pages up so that corrections can be made before they are scanned for a more finalized copy, which I will probably post on a site that I own.



> So, my advice: Move away from acrylics for a while and practice drawing faces with good ol' pencil and paper. Study human anatomy, particularly facial anatomy. Practice different perspectives.When you do move back to acrylics, try to not make everything so freaking dark. Get some humility and take concrit to heart, not take things halfway by saying "well thanks for the advice BUUUUUUT you see it's my style so I'm not gonna change it."


For now I will NOT move away from acrylic since the acrylic mainly serves to give the images more grit (I only use white; everything else is done in pen), as well as to compensate for the fact that my resources in gradients are limited. I am not painting these pieces, but rather using them to touch them up in a sense, like with this piece (If you haven't noticed already, I usually draw birds). I also use it as correction fluid. I am NOT painting these images, but rather painting a little over them.

I have been quite lazy with my camera setup and I take the blame for that, however through just these 5 pages though I think I've made a substantial improvement and got a good grip on about 80% on what needs to be done; criticisms like this are used to correct the difficult 20% that is remaining.



> Also: Engie already has a canon dad. It's the Engineer from Team Fortress Classic.  If you were already aware of this fact, do some research and try to find an interesting way to tie it in. If this is the case, Engiedad is certainly not gonna be all "RAAARGH NO EDUCATION FOR MY SON EVER."
> 
> Adieu~


I understand that, and I learned that after I developed that part of the story. At the same token, however, in this his gramps is alive in 1928. Take this as you wish. In addition, that person could be argued to be RED's father instead of BLU's, but that might be taking it too far. (in this, RED [whatever] and BLU [whatever] are not the same people, but either people of a very similar profession, as in the case of the engineers, or of the same family, such as the spies). I think I might tie it in as RED's father, but mentioned very sparingly.

I appreciate the criticism, I'm sorry that the topic title apparently upset you; it was meant as a modest joke. I think it came off the wrong way...

Regardless, I will continue the comic and continue lining the pages. I will preform corrections, however, since the process of actually getting them ready for uploading online is tedious, I will not be updating current pages until I feel they are content.


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