# VMVSMF



## Eta Carinae (Jan 8, 2016)

> Format: Singles 2vs2
> Style: Set
> DQ: 5 days
> Damage Cap: 40%
> ...


[size=+2]*Vipera Magnifica vs Metallica Fanboy*[/size]

*Vipera Magnifica's active squad*

 *Violent Mustelid* the male Mienfoo <Regenerator> @ Bright Powder
 *Finbarr Galedeep* the male Buizel <Swift Swim> @ Leftovers
 *Vile Myriapoda* the female Venipede <Swarm> @ Black Sludge
 *Litah Alphyne* the female Scraggy <Shed Skin> @ Life Orb
 *Calcifer* the male Litwick <Flame Body> @ Lucky Egg
 *Super Smile Kevin* the male Squirtle <Rain Dish> @ Shell Bell
 *Rhinestone Eyes* the female Sableye <Keen Eye> @ Sachet
 *Metal Gear ROSS* the genderless Metang <Clear Body> @ Lucky Egg
 *Vanishing Melancholy* the female Dunsparce <Serene Grace> @ Lum Berry
 *[MLG]PaRaFl!nChG0D* the male Togepi <Serene Grace> @ Soothe Bell


*Metallica Fanboy's active squad*

 *Super Macho Man* the male Machop <No Guard> @ Black Glasses
 *Earth Dragon* the male Shelgon <Rock Head> @ Life Orb
 *Legal Alien* the male Elgyem <Synchronize> @ Twisted Spoon
 *Misslead* the female Grimer <Stench> @ Lucky Egg
 *Athena Cykes* the female Ralts <Trace> @ Moon Stone
 *Juniper Woods* the female Flabébé (Yellow Flower) <Flower Veil> @ Miracle Seed
 *Angriest TV Chef* the male Pansear <Gluttony> @ Fire Stone
 *Glorisus* the male Piplup <Defiant> @ Custap Berry
 *Country Eater* the female Phanpy <Pickup> @ Yache Berry
 *Taillte* the female Pichu <Static> @ Soothe Bell

-Vipera Magnifica smashes his keyboard in a way that tells me which Pokemon he wants to use
-Metallica Fanboy uses speech-to-text software to do likewise and command said sendout
-Vipera Magnifica utilizes the United States carrier pigeon network to deliver me his commands
-I ref


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## Vipera Magnifica (Jan 9, 2016)

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## M&F (Jan 9, 2016)

GorillaShift in, *Angriest TV Chef*. Let's reduce their entire team to CreaturesBegging for mercy.

To start with, *KnockOff* that egg and send it CrackingBy. Keep Knocking until your IllogicalMassive opponent isn't holding an item. Once it isn't, roast their FilamentNiche with a *WillOWisp*, then think up a *NastyPlot* -- MacabreAny will do. If you see clones or a Substitute after you're done with Knock Off, fast-track that plotting AxeXenotime, then, if you still have an action, *FlameThrower* that MergeMustache off (sweep in case of clones).

*Knock Off ~ Will-O-Wisp/Nasty Plot/Knock Off ~ Nasty Plot/Flamethrower/Knock Off*


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## Vipera Magnifica (Jan 10, 2016)

_A rolled-up letter waits on Eta Carinae's windowsill, covered in pigeon feathers. The letter contains the following message:_

Okay Metal Gear ROSS, we're already at a bit of a disadvantage here, due to the enemy's typing. It looks like our best option is to lead with an all-out assault, and try to keep LeadingMaximum in terms of dealing damage. They say offense is the best defense, so get your BeautifulTinned body moving and don't give me a FakeOffense.

*Earthquake *really CreamsArse, so I suggest you lead with that. Then kick that ConceptComputer head of yours into overdrive and deal some FacultyDamage to your opponent's BrainRookery with *Psychic*. On the last action, use *Facade* if you're burned, or attack once more with the HighlySolid ground if you're not.

*Earthquake ~ Psychic ~ Facade / Earthquake*

Oh, and one more thing. When Angriest TV Chef is about to use Knock Off, try dropping your Lucky Egg beforehand to lessen the blow somewhat. If doing this could cause him to use a different move, however, don't bother.


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## Eta Carinae (Jan 14, 2016)

> Format: Singles 2vs2
> Style: Set
> DQ: 5 days
> Damage Cap: 40%
> ...


*Round 1*

Vipera Magnifica OO






Health: 100%
Energy: 100%
(Metal Gear ROSS) Metang [X] <Clear Body> @Lucky Egg
Commands: Earthquake ~ Psychic ~ Facade/Earthquake
Status: Conducting analytics.

Metallica Fanboy OO






Health: 100%
Energy: 100%
(Angriest TV Chef) Pansear [M] <Gluttony> @Fire Stone
Commands: Knock Off ~ Will-O-Wisp/Nasty Plot/Knock Off ~ Nasty Plot/Flamethrower/Knock Off
Status: Kicking up dust with his tail.​
Eta Carinae sprang into action as his phone buzzed.  Dropping the dog tags he had been fiddling with, he took a look at the grammatically grotesque e-mail he had received from Metallica Fanboy.  Extracting a crumpled slip of paper from his windbreaker, he swept his eyes back and forth between the two documents, piecing together an idea of the round to come.  Seeing no discrepancies, he gave the a-ok to the two Pokemon before him by blowing his whistle three times, which humorously caused the onlookers to snap to attention.

Chef, his blood already boiling in figurative and literal senses, hopped forwards in a zigzag pattern, trying to confuse his stoic opponent.  ROSS showed no evidence of being disoriented; it remained stationary, the processors within it completing their initial diagnostic analysis.  Hearkening back to its trainer’s original orders, it considered loosening the stone lodged between two of its rear spikes, but decided against it after noticing the heat signatures given off by Chef.  The feisty ape, hooting and hollering as it came close, bounded on top of the Metang, evading the mech’s vision.  Rather than land a blow right to ROSS’s noggin, Chef began to kick at the stone lodged between the Metang’s dorsal spikes.  ROSS detected pain as it felt the rock scrape against its outer coating, hardly meant to be removed so roughly.  Using a particularly ferocious stomp, Chef dislodged the rock, sending it tumbling back to the ground.  The Pansear hopped off ROSS and ushered the egg away from the Metang towards a stationary jeep.

ROSS, unbothered by the loss of its strategically insignificant token, lifted its robotic arms high and towards the Asber flag whipping in the strong breeze.  Chef continued to skip from side-to-side, hoping to dodge the incoming blow.  However, ROSS was not interested in attacking the Pansear directly.  Rather, it descended, withdrew its claws slightly, and bashed the turf with its bulky appendages, sending seismic waves out through the entire compound.  Chef was unprepared, and after getting bounced around by the undulating earth, could feel his rage already starting to build.  Meanwhile, the camp sprung to life, with every officer and soldier coming outside to find the source of the ruckus.  Eta Carinae turned his attention away from the battle for a second to explain the situation to a particularly grizzled commander.

Chef did not let the new crowd distract him; to the contrary, he felt more at home.  As a waiter dishes a platter, so Chef swept his arm before his body, releasing a couple of pesky, flame sprites that seemed to chuckle in sparks.  The mini fires bobbled forwards and impacted right between ROSS’s eyes, causing a small black mark to appear.  Again, ROSS felt its pain sensors flare up slightly, but it was hardly concerned with such a measly blow.  Engaging its telepathic intrusion software, it found a way to discreetly enter Chef’s brain, where he gave the chimp a far more aggravating migraine.  Chef began to screech as he felt ROSS puppet him without even laying a claw on the culinary whiz.  Even as the pain receded, he seethed, and the dust particles surrounding his feet became ashes.

Even though he was already teetering on the edge of a tantrum, Chef was able to collect his thoughts enough so as to re-evaluate his game plan.  In a process eerily similar to the computerized testing ROSS had executed only a few minutes earlier, Chef took inventory of the strengths and weaknesses he had so far come across in ROSS.  As he worked, ROSS prepared to continue its onslaught.  It began a spin cycle with its arms, the two bludgeoning weapons becoming blurs as he pushed his axles to their maximum speed.  Chef did see the attack coming with a couple of moments to spare, and tried to moonwalk his way out of the bruising, but ROSS had the upper hand.  He mauled Chef with an incredible amount of force, sending him, a golf ball, towards the ring of military personnel.  Chef hit the ground before he reached them, went through a couple of graceless log rolls, and then brought himself back to his feet.  He eyed ROSS with murder on his mind and fire in his hands.

*End of Round 1*

Vipera Magnifica OO






Health: 84%
Energy: 82%
(Metal Gear ROSS) Metang [X] <Clear Body> @Lucky Egg
Status: Initial experimentation yielding positive results.  Burned (3%/round)

Metallica Fanboy OO






Health: 60%
Energy: 92%
(Angriest TV Chef) Pansear [M] <Gluttony> @Fire Stone
Status: Living up to his nickname in no time at all. Special Attack +2​
Arena Notes:
-ROSS’s Lucky Egg has rolled over beside a jeep.
-More soldiers have joined the crowd, attracted by the Earthquake.  They may become angry if the arena is destroyed any further.

Ref Notes:
-Let me know if you’d rather me refer to the two Pokemon as something other than Chef and ROSS.
-I interpreted Metallica Fanboy’s commands to mean that Chef would have used Will-O-Wisp on the first action if ROSS had already dropped his item, so ROSS did not.  I also figured that a Metang would be able to deduce that fairly quickly, owing to the two brains and all that.
-The energy costs of Facade and Knock Off were multiplied by 2 and 1.5 respectively.
-Angriest TV Chef took exactly 40% damage this round, so he did not hit the Damage Cap.
-VM commands next.  You can just post them this time, no need for avian support.


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## Vipera Magnifica (Jan 15, 2016)

ROSS, after analysis, I have concluded that your primary objective should be to maximize offensive output while minimizing potential risks. The enemy can deal catastrophic damage with Flamethrower, so expect to be more or less cremated this round.

Use *Facade* as your default attack, since it's your most powerful move right now that isn't Hyper Beam or Explosion. And don't let your opponent wait for you to move either. If you need to resort to a different move because you are Tormented, try using *Psychic* instead, and if the Chef has clones, use it to probe the target's mental signature and determine the authentic Chef. If your opponent intends to use Swagger or Yawn on you, then *Protect* against it, but only once.

*Facade / Psychic / Protect x3*


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## M&F (Jan 16, 2016)

So they want to spam the WorrisomeSnout attack, do they? Fine by me. Angriest TV Chef, get away from those flailing AnnoyanceLegs with a *Dig (Down)*. Next, while the DancersOverhead waste energy by the truckload, put your IkeaFaculties to use and fashion a *Substitute (15%)* -- hopefully, just enough to weather one of those Facades and survive with 1% health, another lovely waste of their energy. Wouldn't it be FellHeavenly if we could go for the energy KO after all this? Alas, you'll just have to *Dig back up* through the FloorPlatonic and land some nice SE damage.

Mark my words, though; next round, this HeaterProvincial is getting turned up to the maximum.

*Dig (down) ~ Substitute (15%) ~ Dig (up)*


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## Eta Carinae (Feb 7, 2016)

> Format: Singles 2vs2
> Style: Set
> DQ: 5 days
> Damage Cap: 40%
> ...


*Round 2*

Vipera Magnifica OO






Health: 84%
Energy: 82%
(Metal Gear ROSS) Metang [X] <Clear Body> @Lucky Egg
Commands: Façade/Psychic/Protect x3
Status: Initial experimentation yielding positive results.  Burned (3%/round)

Metallica Fanboy OO






Health: 60%
Energy: 92%
(Angriest TV Chef) Pansear [M] <Gluttony> @Fire Stone
Commands: Dig ~ Substitute (15%) ~ Dig
Status: Living up to his nickname in no time at all. Special Attack +2​
Commanders and corporals alike descended into a kerfuffle as Chef, unhappy himself to be leaving his nemesis behind, began to burrow into the packed soil.  Unfolding a winning smile, Eta Carinae hastily assured the high-ups encroaching upon him that the League would cover all damages.  Chef, having worked his poor, doughy palms half to death, hunkered down in his makeshift bunker.  ROSS, having no alternative, began to flail his arms at no one in particular, leading to another wave of discontent amongst the crowd.  Instinctively, they all took a few steps back as ROSS, volatile, thrashed at the air.

Beneath the battlefield, Chef tried to ignore the stinging pain in his hands as he scraped at the walls of his tunnel, building up a mound of loose dirt and widening the passage.  He could vaguely hear the metallic vocalizations of his distressed opponent as he began to shape the pile before him.  He was no artist, so the features he detailed were rudimentary, but he moulded an acceptable self-portrait.  The model monkey, not ideal in proportions, rose slightly above the level of the tunnel as Chef shut his eyes tight and siphoned some of his lifeforce into the doll.  Panting, Chef severed the connection, leaving the faux Chef glowing slightly green.  He took a second to rest, collapsing against the wall as the temperature in the tunnel slowly climbed.

ROSS was not given such a respite.  Constricted by his commands, he continued to brawl the aether, his limb joints beginning to wear down from overuse.  Eventually, he was given a break in the most infuriating of fashions; a primate possessed, Chef burst out of the earth in a cloud of heat immediately beneath ROSS and slammed into his ventral surface.  ROSS halted his tantrum for a second as he restabilized in the air as Chef skipped away.  Not wishing to miss his chance, Chef acting so absentminded, ROSS immediately restarted the frenzy, ignoring the pain in his rotator sockets.  Just as he had Chef in his sights, a mock monkey drifted in front of ROSS as if attached to Chef by an invisible astronaut’s tether.  ROSS had no time to abort the attack, meaning that his appendages began to tear into the helpless soil mannequin.  Chunks of dirt were detached from the substitute, falling lifeless back to the turf.  The Metang slowly let his arms decelerate as he removed the last few pieces from the doll, but, halting, he seethed as he noticed one chunk of dirt continuing to levitate.  A piece of “Chef’s” face remained to taunt the now exhausted ROSS, while the real Chef stifled his giggles.

*End of Round 2*

Vipera Magnifica OO






Health: 69%
Energy: 58%
(Metal Gear ROSS) Metang [X] <Clear Body> @Lucky Egg
Status: Secondary experimentation yielding less positive results.  Burned (3%/round)

Metallica Fanboy OO






Health: 45%
Energy: 80%
(Angriest TV Chef) Pansear [M] <Gluttony> @Fire Stone
Status: In far better spirits. Special Attack +2, Substitute (1% remaining)​
Arena Notes:
-ROSS’s Lucky Egg has rolled over beside a jeep.
-More soldiers have joined the crowd, attracted by the Earthquake.  They may become angry if the arena is destroyed any further.
-Two holes lead to a small tunnel that has been carved out beneath the encampment.

Ref Notes:
-Can’t think of anything to note, sorry this took so long.
-MF commands next.


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## M&F (Feb 8, 2016)

ChompingSimpsons! Now this is where it gets good. *WorkUp* just one last time while your FlamboyantPolyethlyne can shield you, then we raise the BonfireOnzel with a *FlameThrower* and a *FirePunch*. If you see a Light Screen, do the latter twice; if you see a Reflect, do the former twice; if you see a both, stick with the previous commands. If there are clones, stick with Flamethrower and sweep it around; similarly, if you're under effects of Telekinesis, prioritize Flamethrowers.

*Work Up ~ Flamethrower/Fire Punch ~ Fire Punch/Flamethrower*

If nothing else, I hope all the fire pleases that FascinatedAnarchist by the left box.


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## Vipera Magnifica (Feb 9, 2016)

Before we can resume the smackdown, we have to deal with that pesky substitute. Why not use *Power-Up Punch* to make the most of that 1% damage you need to deal? _Then_ you can tear into your opponent with *Facade*. By the end of this round we should only need one more Facade to deliver the knockout. EnergySchmenergy!

*Power-Up Punch ~ Facade ~ Facade*


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