# Pokemon VS Christ



## Bombsii (Jul 30, 2009)

Yes, a anti-pokemon article, even with the dumb crap that was being said about my pokemen (pronounced pokey-men)  :huh: and the utter stupidity of the person writing the article I couldn't help laughing about Picacu the yellow bear hailing satan and dealing copyright issues to Fran Posner (the owner of Winnie the Pooh )

I saw this on another forum and felt like posting it here. 
(This is here just to read and take the piss out of, okay? I don't want to be starting any religious "debates" over the article because its just not worth it okay?)


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## Worst Username Ever (Jul 30, 2009)

Anti-Pokemon is old.

EDIT: Sorry, didn't really find the link the first time and thought you were talking about Anti-Pokemon in general.


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## Bombsii (Jul 30, 2009)

Worst Username Ever said:


> Anti-Pokemon is old.


I know, I put this one up due to the sheer hilarity of it.


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## ultraviolet (Jul 30, 2009)

> Pokemon is one of the *most popular Japanise animations or “Hentai”*. It concerns a group of teenage human “Pokemon-Hunters” or “Pokemaniacs” and their adventures in Pokemon-land populated by fictional creatures called Pokemen (pronounced Pokey-Men) .





> *Metapod: is one of the rarest and most powerful Pokemons.*


xD

Anyway, this _is_ from 2006. Roughly three years ago. 
This only has humor value because this person know so little about pokemon and still makes all these weird conclusions from it.


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## Time Psyduck (Jul 30, 2009)

This person knows little and presumes much about a lot of things:



> Disney’s Winnie-The-Pooh. These charming all-American children’s stories are based on the popular animated series that has entertained generations.


How are stories based on on those by an Englishman written in England 'all-american'? And this is before the irrational hatred begins.



> Alakazam: Spoon-bending occultist Uri Geller allegedly paid millions of dollars to have the Pokemon company include his likeness in their products.


I may be mistaken, but didn't Uri Geller try to sue over his likeness being in pokemon games.



> Jigglypuff: The only pokeman to be “gay” and “out” – Jigglypuff’s trademark move is to sing songs which entice characters into a drug-like trance of sexual debauchery. This ultra-liberal pokeman says “It’s Okay to be Gay”.


How did they even manage to get this. The fact that he has 'puff' in his name? He sings? He has big eyes?



> Image of Pikachu using an electric attack
> An image of Picachu “Evolving”, from the Pokemon TV Hentai series.


So Pikachu evolves when it uses thunderbolt now?


> Picacu: pictured above is one of the most popular Poke-men in the series. Most characters have humorous names. This character’s name comes from Piko (meaning small) and “Choo”, the sound one makes when sneezing. Pikachu’s is uncannily similar to Disney’s more wholesome “Winnie the Pooh”. I wonder if Fran Posner is aware that a Japanise company is attempting to pirate her original characters?


Everything in this is wrong, apart from maybe Pokemon being given humerous names (they're not all humerous, but many have puns or references to aspects of their design) Pikachu's name origins I don't need to explain here, but I like how being yellow is enough to make something 'uncannily similar' to something else. Interesting how Winnie the Pooh is now the original character of someone whose _parents_ probably grew up with him (I'd probably bet on the fact that they'd at least heard of him. And I don't gamble).

[ANNOYANCE MODE OFF]

Anyway, this person was encouraged by a pastor to burn a friend's comic books, and return some tracts instead. Why does this not surprise me?

Edit: This person also proposes placing wi-fi base stations in lead boxes to eliminate the harmful radiation. I'm not an expert but isn't that radiation kind of the point of the thing?

Edit 2: Anti-Pokemon from this year

Edit 3: Apparently the guy who wrote the OP's article 'tuned against god' and is now dead. It's on the 'God's Hitlist' on that site, second one down.

Edit 4: Further examination makes the sites parody status obvious. This article I'd say is plausible. Unlike some others.


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## Yarnchu (Jul 30, 2009)

Oh god...this site is too rich. Check out the hitlist.



> Barack “The Muslim” Obama
> (aka “Homobama”, “Barack Osama”, “Husein the Terrorist”)


I hope you guys don't mind if I call him Homobama from now on, do you? That name is too awesome. XD



> God hates people that belong to one of the groups below because they harm America!
> Animal Rights People
> Environmentalists
> “Global Warming/Cooling” Believers
> ...


lolwhut? Especially the Linux users part.



> Other Things And People That Make God Angry
> Starbucks
> Livejournal


Oh wow. XD

Also, Evolution has apparently been debunked and God supports war cause America is the only good country that exists. Yep, we are all doomed.


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## Aura Cobalt (Jul 30, 2009)

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*tears*

I'm not even gonna quote 'cause every part of almost all of those articles was pure gold.

I especially liked the part where it said that God hates the Chronicles of Narnia series.


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## glitchedgamer (Jul 30, 2009)

Ha, that was fucking hilarious! Who knew Metapod was an Islamic crusader? I may have to go catch one and name it Mohammed XD. I can't believe people even write this crap, no matter how lulz-filled it is.


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## Lady Grimdour (Jul 30, 2009)

Beautifully written satire.

Though I do agree with the Linux part. Windows is the way to go, soul-sucking conglomerate or not.


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## xkze (Jul 30, 2009)

indeed

successful troll is successful


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## Worst Username Ever (Jul 30, 2009)

> Japanise animations or “Hentai”.


'
hahahahaha



> Jigglypuff: The only pokeman to be “gay” and “out” – Jigglypuff’s trademark move is to sing songs which entice characters into a drug-like trance of sexual debauchery


wut

I can't believe people write stuff like this. Oh well, just more lulzy entertainment for Pokéfans^^


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## Lucas₇₅₅ (Jul 30, 2009)

Darkarmour said:


> Yes, a anti-pokemon article, even with the dumb crap that was being said about my pokemen (pronounced pokey-men)  :huh: and the utter stupidity of the person writing the article I couldn't help laughing about Picacu the yellow bear hailing satan and dealing copyright issues to Fran Posner (the owner of Winnie the Pooh )


Can't you tell satire when you see it?


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## J.T. (Jul 30, 2009)

Guys, it's a parody site. A well-written one at that.

EDIT: Just got ganked by an army of post ninjas.


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## Aura Cobalt (Jul 30, 2009)

If I didn't know better I'd say these people write this just to entertain...


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## J.T. (Jul 30, 2009)

アルセウス七;322542 said:
			
		

> If I didn't know better I'd say these people write this just to entertain...


_they do_

at least this one in particular does


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## Aura Cobalt (Jul 30, 2009)

Are you sure? 'Cause I wouldn't be surprised if some Christians really were this stupid and unreasonably radical...


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## J.T. (Jul 30, 2009)

Me neither. But this page convinces me that this site in particular is satire.

EDIT: Just found out that the Terms and Conditions of the site even outright state that it's fake.



			
				Shelley the Republican T&C said:
			
		

> 4. You understand that by using the Web Site, including its Forums, comment pages and chats, you may be exposed to Content that is offensive, indecent or objectionable. If you feel offended by the content or parts of the content you have to leave. *Str is strictly satirical, nothing on Str shall be taken seriously. If you are unable to comprehend this concept you are forbidden to view any website content.* Under no circumstances will we be liable in any way for any Content, including, but not limited to, for any errors or omissions in any Content, or for any loss or damage of any kind incurred as a result of the use of any Content posted, emailed or otherwise transmitted via the Web Site, including its Forums.


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## Aura Cobalt (Jul 30, 2009)

awwww that makes it not as funny. but it's still hilarious.


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## Dewgong (Jul 30, 2009)

hahahaha wowwww. i could go over every point in that, but i'm just going to ask... since when is pokemon hentai? haha


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## Lady Grimdour (Jul 30, 2009)

Dewgong said:


> hahahaha wowwww. i could go over every point in that, but i'm just going to ask... since when is pokemon hentai? haha


Since it was thought of.

Rule 34, my friend.


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## Doctor Jimmy (Jul 30, 2009)

A few years late to the party, perhaps, but amusing nonetheless. The comments are funnier, though.


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## Blastoise Fortooate (Jul 30, 2009)

Ooh, this will be hilarious.

*reads*



> You know, I almost missed it, but the more I read the more I saw it… The Pokemon books, movies and games are a way of teaching kids to accept Darwin’s *widely-debunked theory* of Evolution.





> *Picacu*: pictured above is one of the most popular Poke-men in the series. Most characters have humorous names. This character’s name comes from *Piko (meaning small) and “Choo”, the sound one makes when sneezing*.





> *Jigglypuff*: The only pokeman to be “gay” and “out” – Jigglypuff’s trademark move is to sing songs which entice characters into a *drug-like trance of sexual debauchery*. This ultra-liberal pokeman says “It’s Okay to be Gay”.


I hardly ever use this acronym, but...

WTF?

EDIT: Oh, it's a joke. Hmm.

Well, it was still funny.


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## spaekle (Jul 30, 2009)

Hahahaha, this website is great. This person does a great job of sounding like a believable inept Republican while being satirical.

I like how Pokemon is tagged "homosexuality". 

[reads more]


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## Shiny Grimer (Jul 30, 2009)

Read the comments on that page; they're far sadder than the actual article since some of them are from people who actually believe this shit:



> I agree on the following things: Pokemon is stupid. It includes a lot of light effects that may be dangerous for people who suffer from epilepsy (don’t know if I spelled that right).


It's funny, because these effects have been in anime for years. I've read a few good articles which suggest  that it may have been mass hysteria instead of epileptic attacks.

Oh, and just good ol' fashioned Poke-haters:


> P.S.: In case anyone wonders why I know all that stuff though I don’t like: I’ve been playing it years ago, as did my brother. By now, I consider it a little bit too stupid.


closet Pokemon fan?



> You might be surprised that I agree with you about Pokemon, but because it is mindless crap intended to extract money from children not because of any religious significance.


Pokemon's a money grabber, I agree, but who's to say we can't have good, mindful fun with it? ;)


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## Lady Grimdour (Jul 30, 2009)

The fun thing is that they moderate comments, and anything that actually praises the satire is deleted. A few blogs posted that they replied to this to add to the credibility.


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## IcySapphire (Jul 30, 2009)

This is why I had to become a "closet trainer" all those years ago


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## spaekle (Jul 30, 2009)

I wonder if there are any people from Rapture Ready or something who actually read this site thinking it's legit?

"We tried to warn y’all that riding a bike instead of driving a car would lead to sin, sodomy, economic collapse and the death of America.  But you wouldn’t listen. "

Lollipops condition young girls to have oral sex!

This review of Super Mario Galaxy is pretty great. Especially the part with the TGS image.


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## Ryan the Terrible (Jul 30, 2009)

Haha. Sheryl *Cow* is on God's musical hitlist. :3


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## Worst Username Ever (Jul 30, 2009)

Super Mario Galaxy review=LULZ. I can think of at least 10 things wrong with that.


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## Shiny Grimer (Jul 30, 2009)

I wish that site was not blocked here, because that hitlist of God's is awesome.

Linux users made me lol.


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## Not Meowth (Aug 1, 2009)

Spaekle Oddberry said:


> This review of Super Mario Galaxy is pretty great. Especially the part with the TGS image.





> In order to rescue Peach the red-capped plumber has to collect satanic pentagrams, mis-translated as ?power-stars? with which Mario intends to increase his own demonic power to rival Bowser’s. These pentagrams are scattered around a number of ?galaxies? through which Mario must battle his way in order to retrieve. Pentagrams are rewarded for taking risks, performing stunts or acts of aggression





> As with all of Mario’s games, the story is simple and largely irrelevant to the action: Mario’s girlfriend ?Princess Peach? has been once-again kidnapped by ?Bowser?, a satanic, spiked dragon-like demon. Rather than inform the relevant authorities


xD

Surprised they didn't include that picture of the box art with certain letters highlighted so it reads "U R MR GAY".


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## KlutzyKaytix33 (Aug 1, 2009)

This made me giggle, especially the Metapod and Jigglypuff parts. -w- But now Metapod will always remind me of a burka-clad Muslim. Will God be dissapointed if I catch one and name it Saddam Hussein? D:


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## Dewgong (Aug 1, 2009)

kayti, do it. i'll love you forever.


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## brandman (Aug 1, 2009)

Mike the Foxhog said:


> xD
> 
> Surprised they didn't include that picture of the box art with certain letters highlighted so it reads "U R MR GAY".


I checked my box just now and saw that the words, U R MR GAY is really on there! In the words SUPER MARIO GALAXY it says:

SUPER MARIO GALAXY
 _*   * *  *    ** *  *

The stars are little shine effects that they called "stars". Well, here's a pic.







With a little tribute to Bowsers kingdom thrown in!


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