# [Memefest 1080p] Eifie vs. RedneckPhoenix



## kyeugh (Apr 17, 2019)

[size=+2]*[Memefest 1080p] Eifie vs RedneckPhoenix*[/size]​


Eifie said:


> Challenge for RNP! This can be reduced or no rewards or whatever, idc.
> 
> *Format:* 1v1 single
> *Style:* duh
> ...






*Eifie's active squad*

[SIZE=-2] *Nando* the female Blaziken <Blaze> @ Safety Goggles
 *Adelle* the female Espeon <Synchronize> @ Wise Glasses
 *Pepper* the female Pelipper <Keen Eye> @ Electirizer
 *Warbaa'd* the male Chatot <Tangled Feet> @ Metronome
 *Banbi de Famme* the male Lampent <Flash Fire> @ Dusk Stone
 *Tassorosso King of Boo Foo Woo* the female Sliggoo <Gooey> @ Shell Bell
 *Cool Beauty Violet Temptation* the female Mismagius <Levitate> @ Mental Herb
 *Barfie* the male Linoone <Gluttony> @ Lansat Berry
 *Indyelle* the female Phanpy <Pickup> @ Air Balloon
 *plant guy* the male Corphish <Adaptability> @ Lucky Egg[/SIZE]


*RedneckPhoenix's active squad*

[SIZE=-2] *Katy Perry* the female Fennekin <Blaze>
 *Shulk* the male Espurr <Infiltrator>
 *Doge* the male Rockruff <Vital Spirit>
 *Grape Mongoose* the female Yungoos <Strong Jaw>
 *Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson* the male Graveler <Sturdy> @ Link Cable
 *Ashley* the female Roggenrola <Sturdy>
 *Captain Jack Spearow* the male Spearow <Keen Eye> @ Bright Powder
 *Señora Spooks* the female Yamask <Mummy>
 *Gizmo* the male Growlithe <Flash Fire>
 *Virus* the male Dewpider <Water Bubble>​[/SIZE]

welcome, folks, to what i know will be a sophisticated and deeply stimulating battle.  the game will proceed like so:
☒ qva flips a coin.
☐ Eifie sends out.
☐ RedneckPhoenix sends out and posts a hype maymay.
☐ Eifie drops the dank meemz.​


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## Eifie (Apr 17, 2019)

man I can't decide if Chatot or plant guy is better for a meme battle. I suppose this depends on whether or not this battle is in fact no rewards for the participants. Do you happen to have asked Negrek about this lol


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## RedneckPhoenix (Apr 17, 2019)

just dont break the rules that 





> Taking this battle seriously is prohibited.


so do not think, just act


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## Eifie (Apr 17, 2019)

fuck I'm already DQed then


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## Eifie (Apr 17, 2019)

your move RNP


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## RedneckPhoenix (Apr 17, 2019)

*Fissure ~ Fassire ~ Fossure*


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## Eifie (Apr 18, 2019)

i love this


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## Eifie (Apr 18, 2019)

*Spite ~ Spite ~ Spite*


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## kyeugh (Apr 18, 2019)

*the stunning conclusion*

*[SIZE=+1][SIZE=+2]R[/SIZE]OUND [SIZE=+2]O[/SIZE]NE[/SIZE]​**PRE-ROUND STATS​*
*Eifie*

*plant guy* () <Adaptability> @ 

	
	
		
		
	


	




*Health:* 100%
*Energy:* 100%
*Status:* oh god oh fuck
*RedneckPhoenix*

*John "The Dwayne" Rockson* () <Sturdy/Adaptability> @ Link Cable
*Health:* 100%
*Energy:* 100%
*Status:* damn son i got two abilities.  unfortunately there is no
link cable icon, ruining this post's symmetry​
It is a lovely spring morning in Telecod, and there is no doubt in your mind that today will play host to a wide array of wonderful conversations and friendly bonding paltimes.  Your fingers dance across the keyboard, and your heart flutters with excitement as you whip up a gloriously cheery good morning post to greet your bestest buds.  Why, you'd even go so far as to say—

"*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"*

There is a small, orange shellfish channeling ghostly energy on the message bar.  Violet flames engulf his body as he shrieks, in the way crustaceans sometimes do.

"*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"*

He just stands there for a moment, ablaze, until eventually the flames die out, and his gut-wrenching cry with it.  Shockingly, his body is left unscathed— it's as though nothing had happened at all.  And in fact, basically nothing had.  Plant guy shakes himself from his stupor and immediately starts chittering angrily at a profile picture to his left, pincers snapping threateningly.





"What!?" the profile picture exclaims.  "You were supposed to wait until _after_ he used the move, you buffoon!"  This only makes plant guy angrier.

Dwayne "The Son" Rockjohn steps into the chat with a gravelly (heh) sigh and rests his eyes on the debacle at hand, or pincer, or what have you.  What Sondwayne sees here is a wonderful, devious opportunity.  It takes him like 2% energy not to clap his hands in giddy delight.  Oh, but he's a genius.  A mad genius.  Sure, Keith might be screaming commands into his stony ears anyway, but he's quite sure he would've thought of it anyway.

The graveler extends his arms forward and clamps his eyes shut, concentrating.  The message bar begins to rumble.  It's not easy, wrenching the ground apart.  Fissure is an advanced technique mastered by only the most powerful and sagely rock types.  But of course, Ron "The Jock" Swaynedon is the most powerfulest, sageliest rock type of all.  He grits his massive teeth in concentration, a vein throbbing in his forehead as he pushes, _wills_ the chat to collapse.  He can feel it resisting with every ounce of willpower it has, but his willpower is greater still... i mean he has _two abilities_ for christ's sake!!!

It breaks.  The message bar breaks, i mean really breaks, and down plant guy goes.  He falls past the text field, past the launcher, and ever downward into whatever bizarre eldritch dimension occupies the space below the monitor.  Dwayne— more like Brayne amirite— puts on some really big sunglasses and some stuff explodes behind him for effect.  It's really cool.





Good game, folks!  We saw some truly riveting plays here.  Great people on both sides. Real good stuff.  See you next time.  The verdict on this one is that no one gets prizes…  Except me!1!!  Bwahahahaha.

*Eifie*

*plant guy* () <Adaptability> @ 

	
	
		
		
	


	




*Health:* 0%
*Energy:* 95%
*Status:* he ded
*RedneckPhoenix*

*John "The Dwayne" Rockson* () <Sturdy/Adaptability> @ Link Cable
*Health:* 100%
*Energy:* 48%
*Status:* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwCRqfa_9uw​


Spoiler: Calculations



Coin flip is heads; Eifie goes first.
plant bro uses spite for -5% energy.  it does nothing.  imbecile.
leaf fella: 100% health, 95% energy

the "rock son" johndwayne expends 2% energy to stop himself from clapping like a fool.
the "john rock" dwayneson: 100% health, 98% energy

rock "the john" dwayneson uses fissure.
accuracy roll: 15/100.  it actually fucking hits.  gg.
plant bro dies instantly.

son "rock dwayne" the john: 100% health, 48% energy


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## Eifie (Apr 18, 2019)

can we go again


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## Eifie (Apr 18, 2019)

can I nominate this for best reffing


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## RedneckPhoenix (Apr 18, 2019)

never underestimate my ability to roll dice


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## RedneckPhoenix (Apr 18, 2019)

i'm up for a round 2


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## Eifie (Apr 18, 2019)

i know this is bad but i just want to get this out there







(apparently his name is spelled wrong lol...)

edit: nope it's spelled correctly but when I googled it the first result had the wrong spelling


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## RedneckPhoenix (Apr 18, 2019)

*Yawn~Yawn~Rest*


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## Eifie (Apr 18, 2019)

*Boomburst ~ Uproar ~ Uproar*


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## kyeugh (Apr 29, 2019)

*[Memefest 1080p] Eifie vs. RedneckPhoenix (PART 2)*

*[SIZE=+1][SIZE=+2]R[/SIZE]OUND [SIZE=+2]O[/SIZE]NE? [SIZE=+2]T[/SIZE]WO?  [SIZE=+2]F[/SIZE]UCK IF I KNOW DUDE[/SIZE]​**JESUS CHRIST OK WE'RE DOING THIS BIZNASTY AGAIN​**Eifie*





*Warbaa'd* () <Tangled Feet> @ 

	
	
		
		
	


	




*Health:* 100%
*Energy:* 100%
*Status:* shit.  damn.
*RedneckPhoenix*

*Shulk* () <Infiltrator>
*Health:* 100%
*Energy:* 100%
*Status:* kinda feelin it?​
The chat is still totally fucking ruined from the previous explosive encounter, but that doesn't stop Shulk and Warbaa'd as they traipse and flutter, respectively, onto the stage.  The message bar has shattered and caved in the launcher below it, opening up a bottomless pit beneath the taskbar to god knows where.  But the chat bubbles are still intact, fortunately, and it's upon these that our fighters stand— one on the left, and one on the right.  Quite a distance, all things considered.  But seeing as the fighters are a loud bird and a psychic rat, well.  They'll make do.

"I'm really feelin' it!" Shulk exclaims, repeatedly, hopping up and down excitedly.  I can't be fucked checking if this is his first battle, but i think it probably is?  How exciting!  He's "really feelin' it," he reiterates with a flourish.  Jolly day!

"Jesus christ what a dumb fuck."  Warbaa'd is no stranger to noise.  He is a chatty ass parrot for christ's sake.  But Warbaa'd is a chatty parrot of esteem, or so he likes to think.  There is music, titillating cacophony, serendipitous sound... and then there is just plain grating noise.  Warbaa'd puffs up his chest and glares down at the vocalizing rodent below.  Well, he can hardly blame the poor guy.  He's a mammal.  Not exactly esteemed for their cries, the dreadful things, are they?  Well, Warbaa'd will show him what real music sounded like.

"*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*"

The sound is so immense, so beautiful, so righteous and avian, that it knocks Shulk right onto his dumb rat ass and shuts him the fuck up.  "Snrk," snrks Warbaa'd, metaphorically pushing up his metaphorical anime glasses snrkily and metaphorically.  "That'll show him."

Shulk lays on his back there for a moment, starry eyes collecting dust as he stared into the infinite sky above, then lurches his jaw open and begins... breathing.  Heavily.  For improbably long.  Shouldn't he be, like, breathing?  Instead he just lays there even longer, clogging the chat with an increasing volume of his moist rat breath like a furry air conditioning unit.

"Whade fuck isd he dsoing" Warbaa'd wonders aloud, eyelids drooping.  Man, it's starting to get pretty warm in here, isn't it?  Nice and warm and moist.  Really, the hard surface of the chat bubble isn't _so_ terribly different from the feeling of a nice, homey nest...  "O hfuck sit's yawun!!!" Warbaa'd realizes with a snap.  "Yawuning!!!!!"

He knows what he must do.  Warbaa'd unhinges his jaw and begins to sing.

"*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*"

With every added capital A, he feels another smidgen of his vitality return.  Shulk just stays on his back, continuously exhaling far beyond the limits of what should be possible as his ears begin to ring and his skull begins to shake.  Warbaad's eyes begin to water as his lungs crumple.  At last, he takes a deep breath, then continues with strength anew.

"*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*"

Of course, Shulk doesn't back down either, even as blood begins to trickle from his ears.  It doesn't seem like they're going to stop any time soon...

*Eifie*





*Warbaa'd* () <Tangled Feet> @ 

	
	
		
		
	


	




*Health:* 100%
*Energy:* 84%
*Status:* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*Uproar:* Two actions remaining.​*RedneckPhoenix*

*Shulk* () <Infiltrator>
*Health:* 62%
*Energy:* 92%
*Status:* HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH​


Spoiler: Calculations



warbaa'd goes first (91 > 68)
warbaa'd: boomburst ~ uproar ~ uproar
shulk: yawn ~ yawn ~ rest

warbaa'd: 100% health; 100% energy
shulk: 100% health; 100% energy

boomburst hits (100% accuracy).
damage: 14% * 1.25 stab = 17.5% ~= 17%
energy: 8% - 1% stab = 7%

warbaa'd: 100% health; 92% energy
shulk: 83% health; 100% energy

yawn hits (accuracy n/a)
damage: n/a
energy: 4%
warbaa'd is now drowsy.

warbaa'd: 100% health; 92% energy; drowsy
shulk: 83% health; 96% energy

uproar hits (100% accuracy)
damage: 9% * 1.25 stab = 11.25% ~= 11%
energy: 5% - 1% stab = 4%
there is an uproar for three more actions.
warbaa'd is no longer drowsy.

warbaa'd: 100% health; 88% energy
shulk: 74% health; 96% energy
uproar: 3

yawn hits (accuracy n/a)
damage: n/a
energy: 4%
due to the uproar, warbaa'd fails to become drowsy.

warbaa'd: 100% health; 88% energy
shulk: 74% health; 92% energy
uproar: 2

uproar hits (100% accuracy)
damage: 9% + 1% metronome * 1.25 stab = 12.5% ~= 12%
energy: 5% - 1% stab = 4%
the uproar counter is renewed.

warbaa'd: 100% health; 84% energy
shulk: 62% health; 92% energy
uproar: 3

rest fails due to the uproar.

warbaa'd: 100% health; 84% energy
shulk: 62% health; 92% energy
uproar: 2


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## Eifie (Apr 29, 2019)

wow I didn't know my Chatot was shiny


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## Eifie (May 1, 2019)

oh it's my turn isn't it

fuck I have to find a good meme


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## Eifie (May 2, 2019)

oops sorry I was going to ask Keldeo to find a meme for me and then I forgot

Keldeo find a meme for me so I can post commands


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## Eifie (May 4, 2019)

Eifie said:


> oops sorry I was going to ask Keldeo to find a meme for me and then I forgot
> 
> Keldeo find a meme for me so I can post commands















*Uproar ~ Uproar ~ Uproar*

(sorry qva)


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## kyeugh (May 12, 2019)

*45 year dq warning for rnp*


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## RedneckPhoenix (May 13, 2019)

https://imgflip.com/memegenerator

https://imgflip.com/memegenerator

*Torment ~ Thunderbolt ~ Thunderbolt*


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## Eifie (May 13, 2019)

LOL FUCK


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## Eifie (Sep 13, 2019)

this was a good battle


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## Novae (Sep 14, 2019)

Eifie said:


> this was a good battle


i'm going to claim partial credit for that


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