# Would you be a sperm or egg donor for a friend?



## Harlequin (Jan 27, 2009)

Well?


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## Shiranui (Jan 27, 2009)

I'd be a sperm donor, sure, but I dunno if they'd want the baby...?


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## Zhorken (Jan 27, 2009)

Well, yeah, why not?  o.o


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## Tailsy (Jan 27, 2009)

Of course I would! 

I love babies anyway \o/


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## Not Meowth (Jan 27, 2009)

D: 

When I saw this on the index I thought it was just "would you be a sperm or egg". I had an answer ready and everything >:(

Well, now I've come here and complained about that I guess I'd might as well answer. No, I would not. Me + Producing = Bad.


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## H-land (Jan 27, 2009)

Depending on how good a friend was asking... I can't really think why I'd say no, if they really really wanted my sperm. Though I'm not sure I'd advise asking for my sperm. I'm not sure I'd want to raise my kids.
...But then, I'm not sure I want to raise any kids.


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## Dannichu (Jan 27, 2009)

Yeah, absolutely. 

Not to sound self-pitying, though, but I think they could go for better eggs than mine. No offense to my family, but half my genes are rubbish.


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## Murkrow (Jan 27, 2009)

At first I thought why not, but then I thought a bit more.

I'm sure I wouldn't have any objections at the time of them asking, so I would. The thing is I'd have to live my life knowing that the child it mine but not mine at the same time.

I don't think my wee heart could take that :'(


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## The Darksmith Legacy (Jan 27, 2009)

It maybe could be a tad awkward but having a baby is a BIG thing. It would make their life. Definitely.


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## hopeandjoy (Jan 27, 2009)

Sure. It's for a friend and I'd probably take pity. As long as I could help raise it as an aunt or something.


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## see ya (Jan 27, 2009)

My, this is a random question...

Of course. I'm a healthy individual with very few serious genetic problems, and I wouldn't really have any hangups about whether the child would be "really mine" or not. So take away, I'm not going to use any eggs for quite a while anyway...


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## S.K (Jan 27, 2009)

I might do. I'm not sure. I would help a friend but it is a big action in life to do that.


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## Pikachu Goddess (Jan 27, 2009)

> When I saw this on the index I thought it was just "would you be a sperm or egg". I had an answer ready and everything >:(


That's what I thought, too. ._.

I would. If my friend needed it, I would help.


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## #1 bro (Jan 27, 2009)

Why not? I guess I'd check first to see if I was a carrier of any genetic problems, but if I was clean, I'd go right ahead.


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## Jason-Kun (Jan 27, 2009)

I would as long as I got to be the uncle/godfather/or something.


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## Elfin (Jan 27, 2009)

Sure, but then the kid might possibly end up being either really ugly, or insane. >>


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## Mirry (Jan 27, 2009)

I voted yes. I don't think my genes are all that undesirable... and it would be kind of cool to pass on your genes without having to do all of the work of raising the kid. :P


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## OLD ACCOUNT (Jan 27, 2009)

Not a chance. My genes suck, babies suck, and if my supposed friend what to have my eggs they aren't a very good friend to begin with. As if I'd need the pressure of having some devil spawn hanging over me for the rest of my life. Ew.

Seriously though, wtf would they ask for _my_ eggs for? Anyone else's would be preferable. ... That sounds emo but it really isn't, uh. Whatever.


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## allitersonance (Jan 27, 2009)

No, I don't hate any of my friends that much.

Basically all that Whivit said applies to me.


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## EvilCrazyMonkey (Jan 27, 2009)

Sure. Why wouldn't I? A friend in need is a ... friend indeed?
i think there's some saying like that?


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## surskitty (Jan 27, 2009)

No real reason why not~


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## nastypass (Jan 27, 2009)

depends on if i could eat the baby afterward or not  83


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## Valor (Jan 27, 2009)

I demand naming rights for use of my sperm.

I'll be _damned_ if they name the kid Hunter or Scout. I'm going to make sure it's anything but.


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## Mirry (Jan 27, 2009)

Valor said:


> I demand naming rights for use of my sperm.
> 
> I'll be _damned_ if they name the kid Hunter or Scout. I'm going to make sure it's anything but.


Oh god, I hadn't even thought of that. I'd probably try to dissuade my friend from picking a horrible name as well.


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## Jason-Kun (Jan 27, 2009)

Mirry said:


> Oh god, I hadn't even thought of that. I'd probably try to dissuade my friend from picking a horrible name as well.


This. Can't have my...sperm child having a bad name.


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## Valor (Jan 28, 2009)

Mirry said:


> Oh god, I hadn't even thought of that. I'd probably try to dissuade my friend from picking a horrible name as well.


Uhh... That's what I WANT to name my kid, though... I just want to raise the little bastard.

That hurts.


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## see ya (Jan 28, 2009)

Oh, geez, sorry. And that said with absolutely no sarcasm. D:


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## Kratos Aurion (Jan 28, 2009)

On the one hand, I'm not using them, so why not? On the other hand, I want absolutely no relationship with any offspring or whatever, so it wouldn't be cool if the kid was all "but I want to know my real parent D:". And as I have several physical and apparently mental health problems it wouldn't be a good idea unless this friend wanted an asthmatic kid with bad eyes and the potential for schizophrenia later down the line.

If it weren't for the asthma-bad-eyes-and-schizophrenia part I might consider giving to a fertility clinic or something, because you get paid for that and it's a lot less likely that I'd ever have to see the little rat.

And I don't have any friends.


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## DonKarasuMan (Jan 28, 2009)

Are people with serious genetic problems that common...?

I would, probably. Depends on the 'friend' in question.


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## surskitty (Jan 28, 2009)

They really are.

What do you lose from donating eggs or sperm to someone you know would be a decent parent?  I mean, _really_.


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## Negrek (Jan 28, 2009)

Sure.

After they resurrected me. I would die of laughter.

Edit:



> Are people with serious genetic problems that common...?


_Everyone_ has "genetic problems." If you have less-than-perfect eyesight or teeth, you most likely have genetic problems. That right there nails at least 80% of the people I know, and I haven't even gone into stuff like asthma, mild behavioral disorders, which can have genetic components, and things like that. Now, _serious_ genetic problems, like Down's Syndrome, cystic fibrosis, sickle cell anemia, muscular dystrophy and so on, are naturally far less common.

No offense, guys, but going "baawww my genes suck" if you don't have anything more than mild issues is pretty lame. If you can function normally in society without having to be hooked up to a machine regularly or take a ton of meds or be in constant pain and you aren't going to die, you're probably doing fine in that regard.


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## Storm Earth and Fire (Jan 28, 2009)

Am I... getting paid for this? I mean, I could just go down to any old sperm bank and give it a shot for about $25. I want to be compensated for this too, although not as much. And I'm agreeing with Valor, I want to at least have a say in the name. Or maybe I could pick his/her middle name. That might be cool too.

Hmmm... The only thing might be my mild childhood asthma, and my inability to snap or whistle well.


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## Retsu (Jan 28, 2009)

No.

We don't need more people in the world. They can adopt.


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## Negrek (Jan 28, 2009)

> ...and my inability to snap or whistle well.


Not genetic. You could most likely learn if you worked hard at it, but most people don't after a young age.


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## Abwayax (Jan 28, 2009)

so um

the only real friend I have is my girlfriend, and sure I'd "_donate_" sperm to her

if you catch my drift, ehehehehe

but seriously, maybe I'll just donate it to a sperm bank like Arthur Dent does in h2g2. Then I'll wonder how many of my indirect children are wandering the earth.


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## Kratos Aurion (Jan 28, 2009)

Unless Hypothetical Friend really had _no_ other options or specifically wanted Your Baby over some random person's... wouldn't you want a baby that stood the best chance of being as healthy as possible?

Looking for pity or whatever over the internet is pretty lame, but it's a valid point to bring up. Certain problems might be minor, and you'd probably want a kid that was predisposed to needing glasses as opposed to predisposed to being diabetic, but wouldn't you also prefer one that didn't even need glasses, if it could be helped? Of course, then you're getting awfully close to the debate about how we're practically farming perfect, made-to-order test tube babies, but still. It's something that people care about, and as long as the friend doesn't specifically want Your Baby then I'd imagine they _would_ go for a donor that's as genetically healthy as possible.

I suppose the question is more about whether or not you'd be kind (or whatever) enough to offer, whether or not they accepted, but... it isn't entirely irrelevant.


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## Negrek (Jan 28, 2009)

The thing is, _everybody_ has minor stuff like that wrong with them. There is no such thing as a perfectly healthy genotype. If you don't want your kid to be predisposed to glasses, sure, whatever, but what do you want to trade that for? Predisposition towards high blood pressure or asthma? I mean, sure, you could go to a fertility clinic and they would (presumably? No clue how this would actually work) let you shop around donors, you're always going to be making tradeoffs. If it's something big, then obviously you'd want to avoid it, yes, but with minor stuff you'd most likely be looking at _what specific_ minor stuff you'd pick.



> ...and as long as the friend doesn't specifically want Your Baby then I'd imagine they would go for a donor that's as genetically healthy as possible.


I didn't make the thread so I can't speak to the point of the question, but I kind of thought that was the idea. I mean, if they didn't want Your Baby, why wouldn't they just go to a clinic and get one there? I don't see any reason why they would ask you unless it was some particular interest in you as a person, in which case I don't think that something like glasses or being a bit overweight would make much difference. I could see if your family had a history of like, cancer or something, then that would be a consideration (but even then... I don't think anybody has a spotless genetic history, either!), but I'm not so sure without actual engineering it's practically feasible to do much in terms of genetic control.

Edit: Not to mention that a lot of things only matter in combination, and we're not even getting into hypothetical couple's own health issues. The kid could be screwed no matter what.


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## Kratos Aurion (Jan 28, 2009)

That's true (hence the use of "healthy as possible"); I can't speak for everyone else or what their intentions were in listing whatever's wrong with them, but I personally am pretty sure I'd take glasses over asthma if I could.

And it might not necessarily be that they'd ask you; the friend could just say that they're having trouble conceiving, and you could offer or not. Either way.


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## ultraviolet (Jan 28, 2009)

Sure, I mean it's not like I'm using them. -shrug-


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## Dannichu (Jan 28, 2009)

Pfft, guys; glasses are hot. 
And it'd mean your kid'd never end up flying fighter jets while you're left panicking over whether they're safe or not X3

And I kinda assumed that the hypothetical friend wanted Your, uh, zygotes, because they knew and trusted you, but at the same time didn't want your immense involvement with the kid because, well, if they actually wanted Your Kid specifically, they'd be with you. 

Sorry to the guys who want naming/godfather/whatever rights, but I'm fairly sure that if a woman asked you to be a donor because her partner couldn't get her pregnant, the last thing she + partner would want would be constant reminders that the kid isn't biologically theirs.


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## Jason-Kun (Jan 28, 2009)

I'd still want to name the baby, and godfather rights. My sperm makes it...my child indirectly, thus I want to name it, or atleast give it its first name. 

And on another note those who are saying they'd rather have glasses over asthma, I have both and I'm pretty sure it depends on what kind of asthma they have.


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## Noctowl (Jan 28, 2009)

Sure, why not? *shrugs*


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## Blaziking the God General (Jan 28, 2009)

Well, I probably wouldn't considering my family has a history of diseases that probably wouldn't be very great for someone else to have (i.e., muscular distrophy, heart problems, nearly everything under the sun) so I don't really think I would.


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## Valor (Jan 28, 2009)

Dannichu said:


> Sorry to the guys who want naming/godfather/whatever rights, but I'm fairly sure that if a woman asked you to be a donor because her partner couldn't get her pregnant, the last thing she + partner would want would be constant reminders that the kid isn't biologically theirs.


Oh, hey, I was wondering when you were going to threadshit this topic.

So, tell me, when have you seen this happen? Hmm? Yeah, that's what I thought. Listen up, before you go ahead and be a stuck up pompous ass, do you realize how valuable the sperm or egg is that's wanted? Plus, it's one less chance of seeing a child that the donor may have wanted to see. I'm fairly certain the couple receiving the donation are not going to be "Thanx lol now get out". In fact, they are going to be extremely thankful for the donation and typically will honor the naming, Godparent may be pushing it, but naming, puh. Some that are having their own kid still ask others for naming suggestions.

And what's this about not wanting to be reminded that the child isn't theirs biologically? What's wrong with that? Gee, what if the kid was... ADOPTED? GASP. Well, fuck them, they obviously shouldn't be as loved seeing as though they weren't born BIOLOGICALLY. You know what's a constant reminder (At least to you)? A white couple adopting a black kid. Not biologically their own child, but do they give a fuck? Hell no. In fact, they wanted a kid so bad they probably saved one from living on the streets.


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## Worst Username Ever (Jan 28, 2009)

Mike the Foxhog said:


> D:
> 
> When I saw this on the index I thought it was just "would you be a sperm or egg". I had an answer ready and everything >:(


Haha, me too.

Anyway... Not really sure, because as already said, the baby would be mine but still not mine, in a way. That would be a bit weird.
Plus, I don't exactly have the best genes.


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## Harlequin (Jan 28, 2009)

link008 said:


> Am I... getting paid for this? I mean, I could just go down to any old sperm bank and give it a shot for about $25. I want to be compensated for this too, although not as much. And I'm agreeing with Valor, I want to at least have a say in the name. Or maybe I could pick his/her middle name. That might be cool too.
> 
> Hmmm... The only thing might be my mild childhood asthma, and my inability to snap or whistle well.


Why would you get paid? It's not about the money, it's about doing a *favour* for a friend. Your friend is unable to produce sperm or whatever and he (or she) asks you (because she cares for you as a person and would rather have a friend donate sperm than some nameless man) to give her some. It takes like, what, ten minutes?



Valor said:


> Oh, hey, I was wondering when you were going to threadshit this topic.
> 
> So, tell me, when have you seen this happen? Hmm? Yeah, that's what I thought. Listen up, before you go ahead and be a stuck up pompous ass, do you realize how valuable the sperm or egg is that's wanted? Plus, it's one less chance of seeing a child that the donor may have wanted to see. I'm fairly certain the couple receiving the donation are not going to be "Thanx lol now get out". In fact, they are going to be extremely thankful for the donation and typically will honor the naming, Godparent may be pushing it, but naming, puh. Some that are having their own kid still ask others for naming suggestions.
> 
> And what's this about not wanting to be reminded that the child isn't theirs biologically? What's wrong with that? Gee, what if the kid was... ADOPTED? GASP. Well, fuck them, they obviously shouldn't be as loved seeing as though they weren't born BIOLOGICALLY. You know what's a constant reminder (At least to you)? A white couple adopting a black kid. Not biologically their own child, but do they give a fuck? Hell no. In fact, they wanted a kid so bad they probably saved one from living on the streets.


Shut up, she's got a point. If I received an egg donation I wouldn't want the donor meddling in *my* child's life. As far as the parents are concerned you aren't that child's father - you're its sperm donor. Its father is the man who raised it. 

A donor should expect no place in the life of the resulting child - all you provided was half its genes, that's it. If the donor *does* get a relationship with the child then hey, okay, good for you. If the donor doesn't then it's no big deal; it was only done as a gift to a friend.


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## Valor (Jan 28, 2009)

Harlequin said:


> Shut up, she's got a point. If I received an egg donation I wouldn't want the donor meddling in *my* child's life. As far as the parents are concerned you aren't that child's father - you're its sperm donor. Its father is the man who raised it.


Then why the _fuck_ would you ask in the first place? The point of the question is it being for _a friend._ If they're going to ask for a donation like that, they're not going to just turn around and ignore the donor. Otherwise they're not exactly being a friend.

_FRIEND_ is the keyword. If it's a stranger, then fine. I'll probably never see the parents again. However, this is someone I'll probably see for many more years to come. If they're going to be that ungrateful after a huge donation like that, I'm going to be really pissed off.

It's a _fucking name_. And I'm making sure that I at least have the name I want for my own kid.


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## Vladimir Putin's LJ (Jan 28, 2009)

But it's not your kid, it's theirs. They're going to live with it their whole lives so they can pick the name.
I mean people often ask their friends for idea names but if anyone wanted some of my ovaries before I fuck them up/remove them then I wouldn't force anything major like a name on them.


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## Fredie (Jan 28, 2009)

I probably would, although; it depends what friend of mine...


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## Music Dragon (Jan 28, 2009)

My family on my father's side has had at least one person every generation who's suffered from some sort of mental disorder. That's a genetic vulnerability I wouldn't want to pass on.

Oh, and by the way - if you're going to help someone have a child, then, you know, you might as well let them name it. You won't be the one living together with the kid; what its name is shouldn't really be a big deal to you. Granted, the name shouldn't be the most important thing to the parents either... but the naming of one's child is a pretty important thing to some people. I still think it seems fair to let them name the baby they're going to raise.

Sure, if this person really is your friend, then he/she would probably let you have a say when it comes to the name-giving - but if _you_ really were a friend, you'd let them do it on their own if they wanted to, wouldn't you?


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## see ya (Jan 28, 2009)

....You could just ask them not to use the names you want to use for your own children. If they're your friends, they'll probably understand. It's not like Hunter and Scout are common names, anyway. Just saying...


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## Zeph (Jan 28, 2009)

I don't see why not, as long as it was a very good friend.

Who would want a baby that was half-me, anyway?


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## surskitty (Jan 28, 2009)

THIS POST DIRECTED AT VALOR :3

dude what

Why is it any of your goddamn business what people name their kids?  Try to get them to avoid names that are simply godawful (Adolf Hitler!  Schtolteheim Reinbach III!  Sephiroth!  Superman!) since they're your _friends_ but why the fuck do you have the right to demand naming rights?


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## Harlequin (Jan 28, 2009)

Valor said:


> Then why the _fuck_ would you ask in the first place? The point of the question is it being for _a friend._ If they're going to ask for a donation like that, they're not going to just turn around and ignore the donor. Otherwise they're not exactly being a friend.
> 
> _FRIEND_ is the keyword. If it's a stranger, then fine. I'll probably never see the parents again. However, this is someone I'll probably see for many more years to come. If they're going to be that ungrateful after a huge donation like that, I'm going to be really pissed off.
> 
> It's a _fucking name_. And I'm making sure that I at least have the name I want for my own kid.


*It's not your child*. You gave them *sperm*. That's it. You wouldn't give someone a computer and say "Oh but you can't play [x game] on it!" (only a bit more serious)

I'm not saying they would ignore the donor, only that the donor won't have any say in the child's upbringing (in the same way that any other friend wouldn't).

Because (I'm saying it again) *the resulting child is not your child*. It might share your genes but it's *not your child*.


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## Lady Grimdour (Jan 28, 2009)

Yes.

My genes are gewd.


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## Not Meowth (Jan 28, 2009)

Worst Username Ever said:


> Haha, me too.


That's three now.

We need that thread D:<


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## Jason-Kun (Jan 28, 2009)

Harlequin said:


> *It's not your child*.Because (I'm saying it again) *the resulting child is not your child*. It might share your genes but it's *not your child*.


It's not yours in the sense of raising it, no, but it is yours in the way of it being your genetic child. And why shouldn't the donar get a say in the name, or get the rights to be a Godparent?


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## Harlequin (Jan 28, 2009)

Jason-Kun said:


> It's not yours in the sense of raising it, no, but it is yours in the way of it being your genetic child. And why shouldn't the donar get a say in the name, or get the rights to be a Godparent?


*Because it's not your child*. It's their child, not yours. You might have provided its genes but it isn't yours. If the parents _want_ you to be its godparent then sure, why not, but you don't get an _automatic right_ to name the child or have any sort of involvement in its life.


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## Jason-Kun (Jan 28, 2009)

If the parents didn't want my involvement, they shouldn't have asked for my sperm.


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## Harlequin (Jan 28, 2009)

No, that's not how it works. They ask for your sperm and, if you're a good friend, you say "okay sure why not" but you *don't expect to be a parent to that child*. You don't have the "right" to name it and you don't have to right to decide how it's going to be raised because it isn't yours.


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## Vladimir Putin's LJ (Jan 28, 2009)

Seriously, they're not your kid and they're only marginally related to you (genetically). Why do you absolutely want to control any aspect of your friends' life anyway?


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## Jason-Kun (Jan 28, 2009)

Harlequin said:


> No, that's not how it works. They ask for your sperm and, if you're a good friend, you say "okay sure why not" but you *don't expect to be a parent to that child*. You don't have the "right" to name it and you don't have to right to decide how it's going to be raised because it isn't yours.


...WTF? Who said anything about raising the child. Naming and Godparent right =/= to raising or being the parent of the child.


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## surskitty (Jan 28, 2009)

In this society, parents name their children.  Why are you trying to take control over things usually left to the parents?


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## Crazy Linoone (Jan 29, 2009)

I would probably tell them to adopt. There's enough people in this world; we don't need anymore. 

... And I don't like kids.... 

Really though, even if the child is genetically related to you, it's not _yours_. You don't own it. The sperm/egg is like a present to someone; once you give it to them, it's theirs. You don't get to have anything to do with it anymore.


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## Harlequin (Jan 29, 2009)

Jason-Kun said:


> ...WTF? Who said anything about raising the child. Naming and Godparent right =/= to raising or being the parent of the child.


You give them the sperm and then you don't have any rights whatsoever. Why should you?


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## Zhorken (Jan 29, 2009)

Jason-Kun said:


> it is yours in the way of it being your genetic child.


This means nothing.



			
				Jason-Kun said:
			
		

> the rights to be a Godparent


This means nothing.


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## #1 bro (Jan 29, 2009)

Jason why are you being a huge dick 

You can give two nice people something that you have an unlimited amount of and comes at virtually no loss to you whatsoever, but you're just waving it over their head like "nah nah nah nah nah not if you don't let me name the kid~"


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## OrangeAipom (Jan 30, 2009)

sure why not i'm not using them

failure genetics aren't my problem


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## ultraviolet (Jan 30, 2009)

Valor said:
			
		

> It's a fucking name. And I'm making sure that I at least have the name I want for my own kid.


Wtf that's like

"sure, have my sperm" *





*terms and conditions apply (so long as I get naming and godparent rights)

It's not really a donation if you want a reward out of it.


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## Gardevoir Girl (Jan 31, 2009)

It would really depend on who was asking me. On the one hand, I'm not planning on having any kids myself, so maybe passing on my genes some other way wouldn't be bad. And it would be interesting to meet children who look sort of like me and knowing they're genetically mine.

On the other hand, I've heard it's painful. And would I really want to meet my genetic children? Plus, there's a family history of depression, and would I really be willing to force that upon an innocent child?

So the negative outweighs the positive. I'd most likely refuse. But if one of my best friends was asking, I'd probably say yes.


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## surskitty (Jan 31, 2009)

Everyone has a family history of _something_.  Depression's a better choice than most.


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